He is here. Who he is, is for you to find out. If you still don't get it, this is PURE CRACK. . can you guess who the main character is? Lets see :P
Once upon a time there was a Big Mansion. A boy lived in the Big Mansion. He was Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons.
Why? Because he wore Hair Ribbons.
Everyday he worked with his studies and studious training to become the man he will be in the future: the Nobleman with Hair Curlers. It was the highest rank any Noble can achieve, starting at Noblebaby with Diapers, Nobleboy with hair Ribbons, and then Nobleman with Hair Curlers. Indeed, the best of the best received this title.
His best friend, Purple Haired Kuro Woman helped him do his studies and studious training. Her friend, Blond Smart Man, helped her when she did not know how to help him.
"Blond Smart Man," she said walking into his smoldering room. She glanced at the weird Machine with Green Smoke with an eyebrow raised, prompting Blond Smart Man to explain.
"That is a Machine with Green Smoke. It is highly dangerous," he wiped his blond brow with a rag. "How can I help you Purple haired Kuro Woman?"
"Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons needs to know about the secret art. He needs help."
"Yes, yes, I think it's time to reveal the truth to Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons."
The two friends discussed this truth and eventually Purple Haired Kuro Woman left to go find Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons.
Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons was in the garden when Purple Haired Kuro Woman fast-walked into the Big Mansion. He was striking his stick in the air in sharp thrusts, trying to kill the Black Butterfly that had eaten his watermelon.
"Purple Haired Kuro-Woman," Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons said.
"I have a secret to tell you," replied the Purple Haired Kuro Woman.
The Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons lookedup at his taller friend. "What secret, woman?"
"Blond Smart Man believes it's time for you to know the secret art, Banana-K."
She explained what is was a quickly fast-walked to the pond to eat Gold Scaly Fish.
And so Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons set out to work on his new goal.
Everyday he worked hard to achieve Banana-K, a secret art only performed by Nobleboys with Hair Ribbons. After vigorous training, the Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons achieved Banana-K.
"Banana-K." He said. But that didn't work. He needed more….pizzazz.
"Banada-K. Unite!" Still, it didn't sound right. He sighed and felt something fall on his head. He looked up to see a pink petal fall on his hair ribbon. HOW DARE IT TOUCH HIS HAIR RIBBON!
Picking up his stick once again, Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons said, "Banana-K. KILL THE PINK PETAL!"
All of a sudden the stick glowed in his hand and made pink confetti shoot up into the air.
Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons looked in surprise at his new weapon. He pointed it to the river saying "Banana-K. KILL THE PINK PETAL!" And sure enough, the river was destroyed.
And now, since he was so happy, Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons went to see Nobleoldman with Hair Straightners, his grandfather. For some weird reason he didn't wear hair curlers.
"Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons," Nobleoldman with Hair Straightners called out. "Would you like a banana?"
Since Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons adored bananas, he took a banana and peeled it open. He had always wanted to own his own banana factory, making bananas and watermelons, but there was a supposed Boy with with Old Man's Hair who took care of the watermelon farm and ate them all in the village.
"Nobleoldman with Hair Straightners," he announced. "I Have—"
"Yes, I know you have a dream," Nobleoldman with Hair Straightners said. "You have a dream that one you will live in a nation where you can wear Hair Curlers."
"Yes, yes, Nobleoldman with Hair Striaghtners," Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons stated. "That is part of a huMan speech. But I have achieved Banana-K."
Just then the banana in his hands got destroyed. He looked down at the flpwer petals destroying it. "NO! STOP IT YOU STUPID STICK!" He took the Panda-Cat that had walked in and began to hit the stick with the Panda-Cat. "Be a good stick and let me eat my banana!"
"Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons," Nobleoldman with Hair Straightners said. "In order to keep the Banana-K calm, you must sing the following."
Then he swung his Shiro-hair from side to side.
"I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth,"
he sang.
Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons watched Nobleoldman with hair Straightners do so, and decided to do the same. He swung his head singing,
"I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth."
Nobleoldman shook his hair. "You much whip it harder." Nobleoldman demonstrated again.
"I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth."
Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons tried it again.
"I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth."
This time, the Banana-K stopped.
Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons was amazed. Now he knew the Noble family song! He vowed to sing it everyday when he took a Shower and did his Banana-K. Everyone knows Noblebabys with Diapers, Nobleboys with Hair Ribbons, Noblemen with Hair Curlers and Nobleoldmen with Hair Straightners had fabulous hair.
When the Nobleboy with Hair Ribbons became a Nobleman with Hair Curlers he did the Noble family song everyday before work for good luck.
He did it in the shower.
He did it during breakfast.
He did it before tests.
He did it during funerals.
He did it when he met his wife.
The Nobleman with Hair Curlers loved Banana-K so much he made it his way of life. So every morning when Red Pineapple Hair Man came to his office, they would do the Noble family song together, whipping their black and red hair. He even taught his sister, Bunny Woman, how to use the Noble family hair song during her fights using the power of Chappy, a secret art only obtained by Bunny Women and Monsters with Black Masks. He even made the Old Bald but White Haired Man do it with his beard.
Nobleman with Hair Curlers was happy he had learned Banana-K. Without it, he wouldn't have known the Noble family song.
Byakuya froze looking at Yoruichi. Although he tried to pass off as calm and serene, he knew it wouldn't work.
"So, guys," Yoruichi said. "What do you think?"
"What an inaccurate retelling of my life. I assure you none of that happened," he answered with his regular cold voice.
"Nii-sama must look amazing when doing the Noble family song," Rukia said with wide eyes filled with adoration. "Can we do it together nii-sama?"
"No." was all he answered.
Renji laughed. "At least I wasn't hit with a baseball bat again. Taichou, want to whip our hair back and forth?"
Byakuya glared at his subordinate, who faltered and looked down in fear. The party had ended and Yoruichi had decided to tell a "story" before the rest of the gang left, and had forced him to sit next to the head of the table. Could you believe it? NEXT TO THE TABLE! As a Kuchiki, he should be the one standing at the head!
At least everyone was going home. Byakuya told Rukia to head home without him, fearing the condition of his manor since Yachiru had left an hour before. Renji and Kyoraku went home after having a few extra drinks, while Nanao tried to support taichou and ended up beating Renji. Hitsugaya looked annoyed, having been mentioned a second time in a stupid story.
Then the only people left were Yoruichi and Byakuya.
"Yoruichi..."he glared. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"
"What's wrong, Bya-boy?" she smiled. "Did I do wrong telling everyone how you sing that song while-"
"Please don't speak of my awkward teenage years."
The next day...
Renji hurried to his taichou's office in worry. He was supposed to turn in a report on the patrol irregularities, but he had sent it to Hisagi to confirm it and Matsumoto had taken it and ripped it up. Currently Hisagi was trying to reason with the blonde woman to make her rewrite the report.
A drop of sweat ran down his forehead. What would the head of the Kuchiki think?
He stopped in front of the door and let our a big breath. WIth an air of courage, he opened the door.
"Taichou I-"
"I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth."
Byakuya was standing in front of the mirror and was whipping his black hair in a frenzy. His kensaiken were surpringly intact. Worst of all, he was smiling.
Just when he was going to give it another go, Byakuya noticed Renji in front of the mirror, who was currently bright red and had closed the door behind him.
Silence.
"taichou..."
"I believe you saw nothing, Renji? And you heard nothing?" he clarifyed in a cool voice, brushing away any astray locks from his face.
Renji looked away and stuttered,"Ye-ye-yes, taichou. N-nothing was seen. Or heard for that matter." Looking up, he whispered. "But can we do that together some time?"
Apparently all these stories involve food O_O fruit specifically. I got no idea what I was thinking. It just randomly happened. Do you know who each person was? . I'm pretty sure I gave it away in the last part. But if you know, please review them . And I know it's not as funny as the other one. Sorry about that.
Who should the next one be about?
Should it be Hisagi, Renji, Ichigo, or Aizen? Hell, lets but Grimmjow and Ulquiorra in there! So who?! If you wanna say, please review them!
Love and Panda Hair Curlers,
Sabby-sama the Panda Warrior
