"You know what this means, don't you?" asked Wilson as he escorted Cuddy down the hall to her office. She was a bit chilly, despite Wilson's arm draped across her shoulders and his lab coat. She was also uncomfortable with all the strange glances she was getting from passers-by.

"No, what does it mean? That he's going to be even more insufferable than ever? That he now wields godly powers that will forever be dangling over my head?" She snapped a little harsher than she would have liked.

"Well, yes," Wilson admitted. "And more over, he was absolutely right about having a big head. He actually is from a higher plane than any of us. But I was actually thinking about what it meant on a spiritual level. The ancient Greeks had it right! There actually is a higher order out there, and not only that, but it mingles with us. There could be other gods anywhere, seemingly living ordinary lives."

"I wouldn't say House leads an ordinary life," said Cuddy dryly.

"No … I wouldn't say that either."

They turned a bend in the hallway, and finally reached Cuddy's office. Cuddy opened the door and then turned to face Wilson. "I'm going to get my purse, I'll need to go home and get some new clothes. Why don't you drive me there, and we can talk about this more."

Wilson was about to decline, but then something in Cuddy's voice caught his attention and he agreed.

Ooo

"Patient is a 34-year-old male, goes to the gym, doesn't smoke, but for some reason – "

Cameron cut her boss off. "I still don't understand how you can't know everything. Why are we going through this process, can't you just magically make him better?"

House's face contorted and his eyes rolled up into his head. "Like I said, there are some things I don't know. There are illnesses and conditions I haven't ever encountered. Humans are a varied people and they keep coming up with new and different ways to harm themselves, and catch all kinds of things that were never around in my time. And yes, I do have some magic," House waggled his fingers at her and made a spooky noise. "Although it's so pedestrian to even call it that. I'm a man of science Cameron; I thought you would have known that by now."

"Well, right, but can't you use your powers or whatever to fix this guy?" asked Chase.

"Not yet. For those of you in the room who need me to say the same thing three times, the answer is, I can't fix what I don't understand. And don't think for a second I haven't been fixing things all along. How did Foreman get his brain back together? That was me. Why haven't you contracted herpes, Chase? That was me. Why is it that every week we solve a medical mystery that is an entirely new disease, condition, whatever, that we've never seen before? Because I'm fixing them as soon as they step through the door. Why is it never Lupus? Because I know how to cure Lupus!"

House was pacing, or more correctly, limping up and down the room. "Lupus is my specialty. There hasn't been a diagnosed case of Lupus in this hospital since I got here. As soon as they come through the door, I can smell it on them."

Foreman made a mental note to check the records about that.

"It smells like crabapples, by the way," House continued.

The three stared at him. Chase had to smother a laugh.

"This is some kind of scam, isn't it? I bet you got Cuddy and Wilson in on it."

Cameron shook her head. "That's not really Cuddy's style. Nor House's for that matter."

House glared at Chase. "You want more proof? Fine here's your proof!" He turned to Cameron, raised an eyebrow and tugged on his left earlobe. Cameron blinked in surprise, and then began to squirm in her seat.

"Ow, ugh," she reached up under the back of her shirt and unfastened her bra. Before all of their eyes Cameron's breasts expanded and filled out her shirt very well.

"I know the secret to natural breast enlargement." House smirked. "And just to prove it to you Chase, I also happen to know the secret to natural male enhancement too."

Chase got a very surprised look on his face and nearly toppled out of his chair.

"I'd do that to Foreman, but I don't have to, since he's," the next word came out as a whisper, "black."

Foreman rolled his eyes and sighed. Cameron looked very upset, but quickly returned to her trained medical tone.

"What if this is all a hallucination? One of us could be in a dream state and making this all up."

"Cameron, my dear," said House quietly. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!"

"It makes sense," Chase said quickly. "This whole scenario goes against all our training and conceptual experience. All of the 'proof' you've given us has been beneficial. Quite possibly you're right too. One of us could be literally out of our minds."

"How is me going up two cup sizes beneficial?! I'll have to replace all of my bras!"

Chase shrugged. "Maybe you've always wanted a larger chest. And you'd certainly wouldn't mind wanting more out of me. If I'm the one dreaming this up, than both suit me. And if Foreman is hallucinating, well I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you had a better set, and um…I don't know why he'd want me to get a bigger cock. Maybe he's secretly bi."

"You're joking," said Foreman with a shake of his head.

"Oh for the love of ZEUS!" said House, throwing his hands up and spinning on his heel. He snatched a book from his shelf. "Dreams are processed on the right side of the brain. The ability to read is on the left. If you can't read this book than it means you're dreaming." He opened the medical tome and dropped it on the table. The three leaned in to peer at it.

"I can read it," said Chase.

"Me too," said Cameron.

"That makes three," said Foreman, arms crossed against his chest.

"What about House?" asked Chase. "We don't know if he can read it or not."

House scrunched his face up into a ball of rage. "If this were my dream, you would stop questioning me and turn into a koala bear!"

House gave Chase an intense glare. After a moment in which Chase did not turn into a koala bear, he went back to the white board and began scribbling.

"Ok, so I guess we can all assume that House actually is the god Apollo and that Hades is working on a disease to kill most of humankind." Cameron, ardent feminist that she is, always refused to say the word 'man' if she could help it. "Are we supposed to call you Apollo now?"

"Ugh, no! As much as I'd like to get on with the diagnostics, I see that your insufferable questions will have to be answered first. No. Just call me House. There wouldn't be much of a point in me having created this secret identity for all of you to just go about using my real name. Not that your society has been kind to it anyway. Apollo Creed? Showtime at the Apollo? Like I'd ever support such no talent hacks," House muttered to himself for a while. The team took turns glancing at each other and staring at House. "They did alright with the space program though. Boy was Artemis pissed when they landed on the moon. When Kennedy even started talking about the idea, she went straight to Zeus. 'Oh daddy! Mankind is getting too big for their britches! Do something!' Spoiled brat. Well sure enough, he lightning'd old Jack, and what did you people do? You accelerated the space program! And Zeus didn't have the heart to kill everyone involved with that, it would look like the mafia was involved or something. And since you humans did it on your own, I guess he felt like you deserved it. Not like fire. Don't ever talk to him about fire."

All three of them looked very confused. "Are you saying Zeus killed JFK?" asked Chase hesitantly.

"What do you think it was? A magic bullet?" sneered House. "Now can we please get back to this case? Clearly we need to test for hironatedmitous – "

"We're missing the most obvious solution to this," said Cameron, cutting House off. He shook his head in frustration, but she continued. "How will we ever find a cure to this impending disease by treating one case at a time? It would be like looking for a needle in a pile of needles, we'd never know until it was too late if it was the right one."

"Yes, I know," sighed House.

"What we should do is go right to the source and find out what he's planning."

House shook his head. "I'm forbidden from going down there, and in any case, he'd hide it too well for me to find. There isn't any other – "

"Yes there is!" Cameron was speaking rapidly, and louder than usual. "What if we go down there?"

House let out a long breath and then shook his head. "The only way down there for you, is if you die. That doesn't seem to me like a good – "

Chase stood up. "If we don't figure out the disease we'll be as good as dead anyway. And besides, you could get us out couldn't you? You're a blooming god!"

House looked away and then turned toward the window. "I can't. But that doesn't mean you can't get out. This plan wouldn't be any good if you didn't have some way to get me the information. And unfortunately for you three, it is a good plan. Probably the only one with a chance of working."

He paused and turned back to them. "Very few people in the history of humans have escaped Hades. Each time they did something different. I'm not sure how you'll get back. This will also mean that I'm going to have to kill you. I want you all to take a long moment to think about what this means."

It didn't take very long for Foreman to speak up. "This is the future of our race that you're talking about. We're doctors; our lives are based around saving peoples' lives. We don't sleep, we eat trash, drink too much coffee, and don't have social lives. The least we can do at this point is actually die." He looked at Chase and Cameron. "I'm ready to go down there."

Chase and Cameron looked at each other. Cameron nodded and then looked at House. "We're in too."

"Maybe I'll get to see my dad again," said Chase.

House nodded. "Ok, let's see what we can do about killing you with the least amount of pain and damage to the body."