A/N: Hey all! Thanks for the great response to the last chapter, I'm glad you enjoyed. One more chapter to go, I believe, after this one. It should be up by tomorrow. Hope you like this chapter too!
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.
Chapter 2:
Emily forced herself to take a look in the mirror above the sink; she instantly glared at the sight she found there. Her eyes were red and swollen, her skin blotchy, her nose looked like Rudolph's, and the tear tracks along her cheeks were the reason for her ghastly state. She had never been a pretty crier. That's why she seldom did it. She preferred bottling up all her emotions to looking like this. Yes, she was that shallow.
Ok, that wasn't really why she didn't let herself cry. She'd learned a long time ago that crying equaled vulnerability, showed weakness, and she was adamant that she wasn't either of those things. At least she wasn't until Derek Morgan came around.
Splashing cold water on her face, she gasped at its temperature. She'd be damned before she let him keep her down. It was Christmastime, for God's sake. And she was going to have a good time even if it killed her.
Except, who was she going to have a good time with? Andrew, her fiancé, wasn't around; he had gone to his parent's house in Leeds for the holiday.
He had asked her to marry him before he'd gone. The proposal had come as a huge surprise, considering that, at the time, they'd been in the midst of monitoring a local terrorists group's activities—with guns in both their hands, it had been quite a bit less than romantic.
Andrew was a nice sort of guy, practical in many ways, more of a desk-agent type of guy, but still nice nonetheless. The two of them had been dating for three months and she did care about him, so she'd accepted. She was happy.
But, the high of the marriage proposal lasted only until he'd told her that he had to go to his parent's alone to, his exact words, "break the news to them gently." She knew he was joking—at least she thought he was—but the idea that she was news that had to be given gently killed her previous cheerfulness.
Even if Andrew had asked her to go with him, she would have declined anyway; she'd already made plans with Derek to come visit her. She'd asked everyone to come over, of course, but none of them could due to prior familial commitments. Derek had been the only one; he hadn't even hesitated in accepting her offer. It had surprised her a bit, because she knew he liked spending the holiday with his family in Chicago. Whatever his reasons, she'd been so happy and excited. She'd missed him fiercely.
The second Emily had seen him in the airport however, it was quite apparent that distance hadn't dimmed her old feelings.
Morgan was her best friend, but he was also more than that. He was the man she'd loved for years, who didn't love her back in that way. He was the unattainable dream. And it had taken 'dying' and spending another year as just his friend to realize that as long as she stayed by his side she'd be forever waiting for him to realize that she was the girl of his dreams. It had been the hardest decision of her life to decide to move on from the security that was Derek.
Time away from him had allowed her to bury most of those feelings. And she thought she'd succeeded in moving on. But each time she spoke to him over the phone, saw him over Skype her feelings for him would flutter back to life. And that's exactly what happened over dinner.
After spending time together preparing their meal—well, Derek preparing while she hung back, snacking on the ingredients and laughing at his jokes—they'd sat down at her tiny two person table. The setting was inadvertently romantic, sitting next to the window, only the fading light from outside to illuminate them. When it got too dark, Derek insisted on lighting the decorative candles she had there, claiming "What are they there for, then?"
Eating had become secondary then. She found that each time she glanced up his chocolate brown eyes would be on her, watching her in a way that she couldn't decipher, unsettling her. All she had known, at that moment, was that thoughts of her successfully moving past Derek Morgan had been greatly exaggerated. The feelings she had for him were most certainly still there. And she knew, as she had locked eyes with him, were stronger than ever.
Emily had been on the verge, on the verge of confessing all her feelings for him. So, instead of doing that and potentially ruining their friendship, she blurted out the news about Andrew.
In hindsight, she should have known she'd blindsided him. Never once in all their conversations did she mention Andrew. She hadn't been able to bring herself to say his name to Derek; she guessed saying it out loud to her constant object of affection would make it real and truly signal that she and Morgan had no chance. Regardless, she'd never thought he'd react to the news in such a volatile way.
Emily glimpsed her sad face in the mirror, still not liking the sight. She hurried out of the bathroom and into her bedroom, wanting nothing more than to change into her fleecy PJ's and curl up to some movie, preferably one that was a tear-jerker, so she had an excuse to be crying.
Her thoughts continued to immobilize her, though. She lowered herself to the edge of her bed, sitting there, thinking back on their argument. God, she couldn't believe what he'd said to her. One line had hit her particularly hard.
"Are you that desperate to get married that you'd hook up with the first guy you met?" he'd said.
In and of itself, it hadn't been extremely cruel thing to say. But it had hit so close to home and it stung painfully. Yes, she had been desperate; desperate to get on with her life, to put him behind her.
She'd kicked him out soon after that, not being able to take anymore; he was supposed to be staying with her, now she had no clue where he was and she didn't care.
No, that wasn't true. She'd always care. And that was the problem. No matter what Emily did, her heart would always be his. Even when he was being a complete ass.
Emily let out a dejected sigh as she flopped back onto her bed. What was she going to do? Everything was just so messed up. One thing was for sure, she couldn't marry Andrew, not anymore. What had she been thinking, saying yes? And had it really taken a verbal thrashing from Derek to realize it was a mistake? God, she was an idiot, and Derek was still an ass.
She needed to talk to him, she realized. They couldn't leave things like this, she cared about him too much to have him go home thinking she hated him. Standing up, she started to look around for her phone, ready to call him, to hopefully get him back. But before she could do much searching, the doorbell rang several times, interrupting her quest.
Almost letting it go unanswered, she decided that the person's persistence—they'd rung the bell like ten times now—needed to be rewarded with a choice word or two.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," she muttered darkly under her breath.
Reaching her small foyer, she opened the door. Emily didn't know who she had been expecting, but the sight of Derek, standing there in the hallway, holding what appeared to be a cake in his hands wasn't it.
Despite wanting to call him over just moments ago, she began to quickly shut the door in his face.
"Emily!" he cried out in surprise.
Suddenly she wanted nothing more than for him to be gone. Seeing him hurt. A lot. Almost too much to bear. But his quick reflexes had his foot in the doorway a second later, stopping her from shutting the door. Instead, she pulled it open, putting on her best glare, hoping it masked the tears she'd been crying earlier.
"What's that?" She gestured at his hands in annoyance.
"It's a butter pecan cake," he replied quickly, holding it out to her.
"I know it's a cake, but what's it for?" she asked tersely.
Looking sheepish and holding it out further, he said, "I'm… sorry?"
Emily had half a mind to take the cake and smash it into his stupid face. Did he really think a cake would fix things? Granted, she did love butter pecan...
Still, no matter how satisfying it would be to see it smeared all over his face, she decided it would be wasteful. So, she took the cake from his hands without a word and unceremoniously walked away.
Butter pecan cake aside, Derek Morgan would need to work hard for her forgiveness…
Well that's it for this one. Next chapter should be up tomorrow and that's the M-rated chapter.
Thanks to everyone who's been reading and to those who have reviewed: erica1021; paullyn6; beaglelover719; Nix1978; jhplug; KazyCMfan; and Leila Grant.
