Fogged Memories
Ok! So just a reminder this is in Shindou's P.O.V. and it is just giving an inside look to what he was thinking when Ichirou kissed him.
Café Bonheur was starting to pick up customers when Shindou sees Ichirou enter the shop. He has an oddly vacant look on his face when he steps up to Shindou, but he realizes it was just curiosity when Ichirou asks about Uru and the Manager.
"Sick and I don't know." Shindou was upset that the Manager left again. It is not that he left, but that he never said where he was going or when he would be back. I mean the man is his father after all.
"I hope Uru-chan is alright. Last time she was sick, she was /really/ sick."
Shindou looks at Ichirou with a little annoyance in his face. "Her mom is there with her. I guess it is a small fever and a headache. Nothing big."
Ichirou was probably going to want to visit Uru, not that it surprised Shindou. They have both been kind of been fascinated with Uru since she'd started working here about a year
"Maybe I should go over. I could be her hot water bottle."
Before he can stop himself, he grabs Ichirou's shoulder in annoyance. "Like hell I'll let you go by yourself. Yuki-san isn't even there anymore."
"Fine. Then why don't you come with me? The shop seems slow so we can close early and go see Uru-chan now."
"Hmm… We will go in an hour. You know students usually come around now."
Shindou watches Ichirou walk to the back room and sighs. Why did I get so annoyed? –Sigh- Uru is just like a sister, so why does it bother me that Ichirou wants to go see her? He tends to the customers over the next hour, trying to wrap his head around this question. He was so unfocused that he did not even notice Ichirou never came out to the front until it was time to head to Uru's home. Shindou walks into the back room and sees Ichirou passed out on the floor. Ah…so this is where he has been. A sudden wave of anger comes over him. I've been working all day and you can't even do it for an hour?! Shindou smacks Ichirou's head with a lot of force trying to release some stress. Of course, this doesn't wake up the sleeping beauty, so he fetches some snacks, shoving them forcefully into Ichirou's mouth, finally waking him up.
"What time is it?"
"It's time for us to head to Uru's apartment, now get up you lazy ass."
"Was I really asleep the entire time? Why did you let me sleep?"
"I was too busy to keep waking you up every time you fell asleep. I thought it'd just be better if you stayed back here."
He starts to walks out of the shop and can hear Ichirou rush to gather his things. As they walk, Shindou remains quiet. He's still feeling guilty about hitting Ichirou just to relieve some stress; not that he didn't deserve it of course. His and Uru's apartment complex was coming up fast and soon he wouldn't feel so awkward about being alone with a coworker. But why was that? Why was Shindou so uncomfortable? He brushes off these recurring questions and keeps his fast pace as they soon reach Uru's apartment.
The time spent there if brief, but pleasurable. Uru was feeling better so she invited to two to stay for a while and tell her about the day's events. After he was sure Uru was all right, he excuses himself for the night, forcibly dragging Ichirou out with him, his obvious objections meaning nothing to him.
"H-Hey, what are you doing? I wanted to nurse Uru-chan back to health~" Ichirou says.
"You aren't going to stay in that house alone with her. You might do perverted things." Shindou says in a huff, rummaging for the keys to his apartment next door.
"Let me stay over tonight, Shindou! I'm too tired to walk home. Please?"
He sighs, not really in the mood for more awkward silence, but agrees anyways. "Fine, come on in." He walks into his apartment and sets his things down, noticing Ichirou's eyes following him. "Do you want anything to drink?"
"Yeah, actually, that'd be nice; anything but water."
He walks into the kitchen, pulling two bottles out of the fridge, not looking at what they are. He only knows that they were a gift from a friend. When he returns to the room, he hands Ichirou a bottle. He has an odd look on his face when he takes a sip, so Shindou takes a sip, faintly tasting alcohol. Oh what the hell, he thinks and downs the bottle. It may loosen him up so he can really talk with Ichirou for once.
Shindou feels his mind fog over as the alcohol begins to affect him. Damn... Maybe I shouldn't have drunken it so fast. He watches lazily as Ichirou scoots over, sitting next to him.
"Why were you so mad with me this afternoon?"
He gulps and tries to speak as clearly as possible. "Who sai' I was mad?" He props himself up on his arm, looking at Ichirou.
"You were awfully quiet on the way to Uru-chan's house. I thought you were mad that I fell asleep for the afternoon."
Shindou senses a slight bitterness to Ichirou's words and his expression softens, feeling even guiltier then before. "I though' you'd be mas about me hittin' you t' wake you up."
"'s that so…"
Shindou sees a wave of emotions come over Ichirou as the man beside his leans forward, a hand coming up to caress his face. His first thought is that the man has very soft hands, but his lips were far softer. When he realized that Ichirou was kissing him, he pulled away. He tries to give his most understanding look even though he is freaking out on the inside. He can feel his consciousness slip as he leans forward.
It's early in the morning when he wakes up stiff from sleeping on the floor. When he tries to stretch, he realizes one of his arms is being pinned by a sleeping Ichirou. The blankets were covering from his waistline down, but he still god a good view of his chest. He had surprisingly good muscle tone for someone that ate /all/ day. Shindou shakes his head of those thoughts. Why is he practically naked? He looks down at himself, noticing his pants are missing and he begins to panic slightly. What the hell happened last night?... Then it hits him. Ichirou had kissed him while he was drunk. Was this person really gay? I thought he loved Uru. He pulls his arm away managing to not wake up Ichirou and walks into the bedroom.
Shindou changes his clothes in a rush and paces the room, trying to figure out how to deal with this situation. He sighs, lying down on the stripped mattress, finally realizing something. He didn't hate the kiss. He even returned it before remembering it was Ichirou. Does that make me gay? Or at the very least does it mean that I like Ichirou? It would explain why I get angry when he brings up Uru, but... He shakes his head chasing away the thoughts. I'm just going to pretend as if it didn't happen. It will just fuck things up if I talk about it.
He walks out into the living room, feeding Ichirou a leftover cookie to wake him up.
"Morning"
"Mm." The person ruffles his hair as he sits up. "Morning. Did you sleep alright?"
Shindou notices Ichirou fidgeting, an uncomfortable look on his face. How can I ignore it because I'm scared it will get awkward? It's already like that. He audibly sighs, holding his head. "I'm not mad at you Ichirou."
Ichirou looks up at Shindou, no longer trying to hide his concern. "But you left when I woke up. I thought you were disgusted that a man like you... was sleeping next to you."
"I'm only confused and believe me, that hasn't changed, but I am not mad at you. To be honest I always thought you liked Uru."
"Uru-chan is like a sister to me. She's adorable and fun to tease, but I don't hold any romantic feelings for her. At least not anymore."
"I see." Shindou pauses in the kitchen, leaning against the sink. "We should get breakfast. I don't want you falling asleep again."
Ichirou just nods and gets dressed, following Shindou out of the apartment. They walk to a nearby diner and sit in a private booth. If they wanted to talk about what happened more, then Shindou didn't want anyone to overhear it. However, Ichirou didn't bring it up. He didn't talk at all; he just sat there and ate his meal. For some unexplainable reason, this pissed off Shindou. Didn't Ichirou want to know how he felt?! He shovels his food into his mouth, giving a reason to remain silent. When Ichirou finishes, he just stares out of the window absently.
"Why aren't you talking?"
"If I talk, I'm going to talk about last night and I didn't want to bring it up again."
"So let's talk about it. Does it mean you like me?"
"Yes." He says simply and as blunt as can be.
"Are you gay?"
"Maybe." He shrugs. "You are the first guy I've had feelings for."
"Then maybe it's just admiration. How do you know that your feelings are romantic?"
"Because last night as I was stripping off your pants, I had to fight to keep my thoughts clean otherwise I would have 'attacked' you."
Shindou had taken a sip of his drink which he promptly spit back out and started coughing. "What the hell kind of talk is that at breakfast?!"
"What, you asked." He sinks back into the seat, pouting slightly.
"You're right, I'm sorry." He takes out his wallet and pays for the food. "Let's go."
Ichirou stands from the table. "Thanks for the meal Shindou." He pulls the man into a dark corner and kisses him softly on the lips. "I'll be going home first."
Shindou watches in awe as Ichirou walks out of the diner, a hand absently touching his lips.
