Dear Readers,

This is a day late (my fault).

Just a few short points:

Updates to this story are pegged for every Tuesday and Friday. This means you can expect the next chapter in 2 days.

I am using a beta (PhoenixPhoether). She is wonderful, quick and indispensable. So this is the story where you can expect impeccable grammar :)

Enjoy Chapter 2:


Snape stepped over the threshold of the Potters' house, all thoughts of Lucius now gone. He knew that Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius' deranged sister in-law must still be in Godric's Hollow. She was probably approaching the house to inspect the source of the explosion. Severus was not worried with this, however; Bellatrix would never dare come inside this house, not when her beloved Dark Lord was gone. Bellatrix's faith in her Lord was known to be legendary - she would marry the Dark Lord if allowed, thus her limited mind would not be able to grasp the possibility of Lord Voldemort's downfall. It was simply impossible for Bellatrix; she was now at crossroads - how would she act now?

Bellatrix's future actions were also not on the forefront of Severus' mind. He came here hoping to rescue the love of his life. It was selfish, reckless and pathetic, but Snape really felt like he had no other option. After all, the Dark Lord had promised to keep Lily Potter alive, and so far, Lord Voldemort had fulfilled his promises to Severus.

The first thing that greeted Severus was the complete, deadly silence. Somehow this silence made him more and more worried. He was still three inches away from the door, his feet not listening to his panicked brain. Rooted on the spot, Severus strained his ears to hear any sound possible. There was nothing.

Gathering his courage yet again, Snape took a very small step forward, his wand gripped in his hand so tight that his muscles began to cramp. Nothing happened as he took another step. This was both a blessing and a curse, as Snape did not want to confront anything, but he was also clinging to the last vestiges of hope that Lily was still alive. Still, the oppressive silence was refusing to give him an answer. His lungs constricting and expanding at a rapid pace, Snape barely controlled the panic inside both his heart and his brain.

He reached the stairway landing, turning his head to peek into what appeared to be a cosy living room. Glancing around the room, Snape could see toys all over the floor – a child's broom, a stuffed dragon and a small box of wizarding firecrackers. He could also see a wand on the couch. It was still emanating thin plumes of smoke. He let out a sigh of relief – this was not Lily's wand. Evidently, the wand was used to entertain the young Harry Potter. If this was the case, where was Harry? Where was the reason Lord Voldemort journeyed here?

Snape looked up at the stairway again, thinking Lily must have tried to protect her newborn son upstairs. As quietly as he could, Severus began taking tentative step after tentative step, drawing out his wand and silently casting Lumos.

As soon as he reached the middle of the stairway, an unnatural breeze washed over him. It was a sudden presence that dropped the room temperature several degrees, chilling Snape to the bone. So far, this foreign presence worried Severus the most; he could hear his heart in his ears, blood rushing to his head. Halting immediately, Snape raised his wand defensively, prepared for a fight. However, as soon as the hostile presence appeared, it dissipated, leaving nothing behind it.

'Specialis Revelio!' Snape thought, glancing over his shoulder. This diagnostic spell revealed nothing, worrying the newcomer even more. Squaring his shoulders, Snape looked back up the stairs, determined to reach his destination.

He stopped abruptly yet again when he saw something on the ground at the foot of the landing to the second floor. A closer inspection proved the object to be a pair of legs.

Severus Snape climbed two more stairs, stopping to look at James Potter's dead body. James lay at an awkward angle, sprawled on the stairs, his hazel eyes still open and staring up into the ceiling. His face showed no emotion.

He did not know how long he stood there, glaring at the body. Severus was extremely frustrated with his feelings - they were ambivalent and confusing. What was he supposed to feel about James Potter now? Should he feel angry at this dead man for the past, the years of school-time mocking and insults? James never missed an opportunity to embarrass Severus in front of other students. It was James, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew who made Severus' blood boil.

Perhaps he should feel gratitude? After all, it was James who rescued the young Severus Snape when the latter journeyed to inspect the Shrieking Shack. Snape felt like he owed James Potter; this feeling seemed to corrode his insides, almost making him stomp his foot on the ground in frustration.

Maybe he should feel hatred? James was the reason why Lily left him. He married her, the love of Severus' life. The jealousy that corrupted Snape after this was so overpowering that a cunning observer such as Albus Dumbledore could not resist using this to his advantage. Dumbledore made Snape risk his neck in order to try to protect Lily Evans. But Dumbledore was not the issue, at least not right now. It was Potter; it always had to be Potter. Snape felt hatred and revulsion now - this was the man who was supposed to protect his wife and his son. It was because of him Lily might be dead. If James Potter had known that trusting anyone was a mistake, he would have been alive and well, and so would Lily and the fifteen-month-old Harry. But it was too late now. James failed to protect his family; like countless, faceless people before him, he fell like a crumpled puppet in front of Lord Voldemort.

So perhaps Severus could feel a little pity for this man? James was always so strong, so full of life and energy. Grudgingly, Snape had to admit that James Potter was a good wizard, perhaps one of the best for his age. Seeing the man's broken body a mere shell made Severus pity the outcome of James' life.

Passing the body silently, Snape climbed the last stairs, his mind unclear, his emotions too jumbled to separate. He would have to label his feelings for James Potter as "undecided".

He was now in a long hallway, at the end of which he could see some light. Was this it? Was he about to find out whether Lily was alive? If she was, he could take her with him; help her to come to terms with what happened. He could apologize for choosing the wrong side; he could confess to his past sins and attempt to receive forgiveness he has been craving for so long. He could finally look into her emerald eyes and find solace.

As the possibilities rushed through Severus' mind, he could not stopper the feeling of hope that had been kindled inside of his heart. It would be wonderful to take Lily Evans away. It would almost be too good to be true...

At this thought, Snape stopped yet again, his legs rooted rigidly on the carpeted floor. The realization hit him - how could he have been so stupid? How could he let his foolish hope get him here? Why did he think Lily was alive? Was it because of the Dark Lord's promise, a promise Severus knew would be impossible to keep?

Feeling nauseous now, Snape took rapid breaths, his heart constricting. He realized that he did not want to see what was inside the room down the hallway. He could not look; he was not prepared for what was waiting for him.

Swiftly turning on the spot, Snape began marching back towards the stairway, his eyes catching the sight of James' dead body. What would this man tell him if he was alive? Only one word came to Severus' mind: Coward.

Gritting his teeth at the sight of the body, Snape let out a frustrated growl, turning back towards the light at the end of the hallway. Accelerating, Snape marched towards the light not caring about anything, James Potter's voice inside his head, laughing at him. 'Coward!'.

Trance-like, Snape pushed the door fully open, letting the new sight greet his eyes.

He thought he was dreaming, a scene from his worst nightmare. The entire nursery was a collection of broken furniture. The table, closet and several chairs were on the ground, all broken. There were parchment, books, quills and ink on the carpet. In the middle of it all lay Lily Potter.

'Lily!' Snape yelled loudly, running towards the body, fighting with the debris desperately.

She was laying on the floor, face down. Grabbing her body a little roughly, Snape turned her, his long finger on her neck, checking the non-existent pulse.

'Lily,' Snape could only croak out this time, his eyes wide, and his hands holding the red-haired woman rigidly.

Crushed.

Severus looked down at Lily Evans' face. Her eyes were closed, but he could make out an expression of defiance and determination on her face.

'NO!' Severus screamed, his stupefaction ending.

Pressing her body to his chest, Snape hugged Lily as tight as he could, unable to resist his breakdown. Long-held tears streaming down his face, Severus let the reality overtake him. Misery. Hopelessness. Grief.

She was gone now. The love of his life. His hope in this world and the Beyond. His contentment, his faith, his peace and his sanity were gone. Dead.

He did not see the bright bolt of lightning or hear the rumbling of the thunder coming from the window.

He did not register the quiet sounds coming from the little bed at the end of the room.

He did not even understand the sounds coming from his lungs and his vocal cords. They resembled the sounds of a wounded animal or the screaming of a man whose flesh was on fire.

He only looked up when he heard a wail coming from the corner of the room. It was not a sound he heard very often.

Slowly coming to his senses, he lowered Lily's body very gently on the carpet, pushing the red locks out of her pale face.

He legs carried him to the source of the wailing very shakily. His black eyes roamed over Harry.

Harry stopped crying when he saw the man approach him. Holding the edge of his cot with his little fingers, Harry looked up into Severus' face.

The black eyes widened when their eyes met. Harry's eyes were so startlingly similar to Lily's that Snape did a double-take, rubbing his eyes free of tears.

Harry looked at Lily's body and then looked up at Severus again, curiosity etched in his small face. The curiosity quickly turned into terror as yet another clap of thunder sounded.

Snape jumped at the sound, his eyes never leaving Harry Potter's face. The next sound made Snape's blood turn into ice.

There were voices downstairs.

He instantly recognized Hagrid's booming voice. The oaf never had the wits to keep it quiet.

'Hagrid! Find Lily and Harry!'

Snape knew that voice too. With a pang of hatred and disgust, Snape recognized Sirius Black's voice. The two men were running up the stairs, and Snape had less than ten seconds.

He looked at Lily's lifeless body again, then back at Harry, who resumed his curious observation of the black-haired man.

It would be madness, but he could not help himself. Harry Potter was the last living part of Lily. This little boy held Lily's love and protection and perhaps a little piece of Lily herself. This boy could not be left here, not now.

Gently but quickly, Severus grabbed Harry from the cot. Harry did not protest this; in fact the little boy looked happy to be held in someone's arms. Wrapping Harry in a little sheet to keep the boy warm, Snape turned to look at Lily one last time.

'I am sorry Lily.'

He knew it would be dangerous, but he had no other choice. Apparition was not considered safe for small children.

His wand still held tight, Severus turned on the spot, Harry in his embrace, concentrating with all of his might on Spinner's End and Disapparating with a crack.


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