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Recap: Sam wakes up and Andy learns that he has no recollection of her. Oliver discovers that Sam's memory loss extends back to the months leading up to the Anton Hill UC so he doesn't even remember the op itself. Andy's feeling more than a little uncertain about how to deal with things and ends up leaving the hospital.
"Are you ready for this?"
Andy looked up at Luke and shook her head. Her heart was beating so fast she was sure it was going to burst through her chest.
"Just focus, okay? Stick to the facts," Luke said. His tone reminded her of the way he'd spoken the night a perp had stolen underwear from a woman's house. It was very formal, calm… but it made her feel stupid.
She stared at the floor, fiddling with the wristband of her watch. The facts weren't simple. Nothing was simple.
"But don't mention the log book," Luke added. "Frank didn't notice anything was off, and I'm the only other person who saw it."
Her mouth fell open slightly. "How…?"
"We found Marlo's prints on Ford's laptop, so we checked the log book to confirm that she'd been there. I recognized your writing right way, but Frank didn't give it a second glance," Luke explained. "So chances are, they know nothing about it, and if you want to have any chance of keeping your job, you'll keep quiet about it."
Andy nodded slowly, taking deep steadying breaths to try to calm her nerves.
"You know you're going to have to bring Swarek into this, right?"
When Andy remained silent, Luke grabbed her shoulders. "Andy, he was involved."
"You don't know what happened." She raised her eyes to look into his.
Luke shook his head in disbelief. "Look, you need to keep it as close to the truth as possible, but with Marlo being off her meds, there's only so much weight her testimony will have. Swarek doesn't remember anything, and Collins and I have limited information."
"I know," Andy replied quietly. "And all either of you know is that Sam was with me when we went to get Marlo." That was a bit of a lie. She'd told Nick a bit because she'd been overwhelmed, but she knew that if he was dragged into this, he would back her up.
Luke frowned. "Andy." He paused and sighed – it was already becoming quite clear that she wasn't going to back down. "Look, they're going to come at you hard and fast. What happened is big. Give them the facts, and bring Swarek into it. He doesn't remember, so bend the truth. You put it on him and they'll go easier on both of you."
Andy shook her head.
"They're going to try to take you down for this. You have to put it on him," Luke said, his volume rising.
"You know what Luke?" she said, a dry laugh escaping her. "When Sam and I were suspended after the Brennan case, I told the white shirts about how dedicated I was to my job and how determined I was to be a good cop… how I'd stick to the rules. And do you know what Sam said?" She paused, but didn't let him answer. "He didn't say any of that. He told me that all I wanted was to be a cop, and that all he wanted was me."
"Andy, that was a long time ago. He doesn't even remember you now," Luke said. "And it's different this time. You didn't just blow an op. Your actions contributed to three officers being put in the hospital, two of whom were in critical condition… and one still is."
"Yeah, I know," said Andy, sighing. "You don't think that's been on my mind, especially when I try to sleep at night? It makes me feel sick, but I can't go back and change things. That was on me. I know that."
Luke ran a hand over his mouth. "You have to do this. You have to bring Swarek into it."
Andy shook her head again. "I backed you up on the Zoe Martinelli case, even after you cheated on me. And you know what? Everyone thought I was crazy. Sam was furious. And I didn't even owe you anything. As a cop, it was my job though, and as a person, I knew your instincts were generally right, so even after everything, I put that aside and I backed you up and proved you were right when nobody else would." She paused. "Look, I don't expect you to lie for me, but maybe just support me a little bit here because I think you owe me at least that much. So if I say that Sam had no idea about Marlo's medical history until we were all in her basement, then I'm really hoping you don't say anything that will go against me."
"Andy," Luke warned.
"No, Luke, it's my decision. I already screwed up. And I know he doesn't remember me, and maybe he never will, but after everything he's done for me, I owe him this." She held up her hand when Luke tried to interrupt. "I'm not doing this because I love him. I'm doing this because as a cop and as a person, I respect him, and he doesn't deserve this. He deserves better. And if I lose my job…" Again she paused, a lump forming in her throat as she thought about potentially losing the job that she loved so much. "… then I guess I understand what he said back then. And even though I can't have him, I can at least do this for him."
Before Luke could say a word, she moved passed him and entered the large room where her future as a cop would be determined. She was so focused at this point that she didn't notice the dark-haired, brown-eyed woman leaning up against the opposite wall, listening to every word she said.
"So what happened with the trial?" Sam asked.
Oliver shifted uncomfortably. He'd actually been blown away by what Andy had done. She wasn't exactly the most accomplished liar, but she'd been focused and proven herself an adequate one when she stood in front of the white shirts and denied Sam's involvement in anything that could be considered incriminating. Not that Oliver really knew what happened, but he'd spoken to Andy a little when Sam was still unconscious, and he'd gotten a pretty good idea about what happened and just how many rules both of them had broken. "Uh, well, they wrapped up a lot of things," said Oliver. "And uh, someone was fired. You won't remember her though… And McNally was suspended for a month with two months probation on desk duty, but—"
"That's my rookie, right?"
Oliver nodded slowly.
"How was she involved?" asked Sam, then after another moment, "Was I involved?"
"I've already said too much pal," said Oliver, shifting in his chair. Seeing that Sam wasn't about to let up, he added, "Look, I can't really go into details, but the guy who did all of this, he's dead, but umm, a neighbour beat him up awhile ago. It triggered something and this guy became really aggressive… A cop in our division rubbed him the wrong way and the guy created a hit list with officers from our division on it." Oliver hesitated. "This cop has… a medical condition, and she wasn't in the right frame of mind. McNally tried to protect her, but things got out of hand, and unfortunately the trial was just as messy."
"But—"
Oliver held up a hand to silence his friend. "McNally's really lucky she's not being fired too – she held her own though and the neighbour and the other cop took the fall. She took it pretty hard that she couldn't protect the other cop anymore, but nobody could."
"Where is she? Can I at least talk to her?"
"Yeah, uh, about that… she left buddy," said Oliver. "As soon as she was suspended, she took off… likely won't be back 'til the suspension is over."
Sam frowned. "Where did she go?"
"Didn't say," replied Oliver. "No doubt as far away from this as possible. She's had a rough time. A really rough time. But I wish she'd stayed to…" He shook his head, cutting himself off before he said something he shouldn't. "I understand why she left."
Sam nodded, though he had absolutely no idea why she was having a rough time.
"So you won't even tell me what she said during the trial?"
Oliver shook his head. "Can't. I've already said too much."
1 month later…
"McNally," said Frank.
Andy turned back and walked towards Frank.
"It's good to have you back," he said.
Andy merely nodded. She still had two months of desk duty before she could really consider herself to be back.
"Listen, umm, Sam is going to be coming back in a few days for light duty and… well, the thing is, the doctors are still restricting us from telling him anything. They want him to remember things on his own." Frank paused, studying her closely. "They've determined he doesn't remember anything since the months leading up to the Anton Hill U.C he was on, so anything after that point is completely new to him."
"I understand sir," said Andy.
"I know it won't be easy for you—"
"Sir, I'm fine," said Andy, her tone a little sharper than she would have liked. It had taken a month for her to pull herself back together. Even now she wasn't completely normal, but she'd come to terms with the fact that Sam didn't remember her at all and there really wasn't anything she could do about it. With that in mind, she'd also thought a lot about where to go with her life. Sam not remembering her drastically changed things. She meant it when she told Sam she loved him in the ambulance, but as it currently stood, there was no guarantee that he would ever remember her or that he could ever feel the same way about her again. Part of her wanted to try, but she was scared. What she had with Nick was good. He made her happy. He wasn't Sam, but Nick was a great guy and they were good together. Perhaps Sam not remembering her was a sign that she should give things with Nick a real shot.
Frank studied her for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, but let me know if you need anything."
Andy nodded and left without another word. As she walked towards the front desk, she sighed heavily, knowing that regardless of which path she chose, her heart would break.
Thanks for reading! Up next, Sam returns to 15 Division and Andy learns very quickly that when it comes to Sam Swarek, not all things change, even when starting over. So what happens when Sam meets Andy again?
