The Very Secret Diary of Petunia Evans, Chapter 2

By: Storychan

Wow. I started writing this fic two years ago and then totally forgot about it. Or, rather, nobody seemed interested in it, so I abandoned it in favor of projects that had more readers. But, a couple days ago, queenofthekingdom favorited, followed, and reviewed this fic, and that was enough motivation for me to end the hiatus and start writing again! So, thanks, queenofthekingdom ! I hope this chapter gets me lots of new readers just like you :3

Enjoy, everyone, and don't forget to review!

-Storychan

Molly Weasley found Harry moodily staring at the diary as he sat curled up in an armchair by the fire in the corner of her living room.

"Want to take a break for some dinner, dear?" she asked gently.

Harry shook his head. "No, I was just about to start reading again. I was just taking a moment to…digest what I've already read."

Aunt Petunia had loved his mother. That was hard for Harry to even imagine, seeing as how she'd refused to speak to him about his mother even once during his entire childhood. She seemed to resent him just for being Lily's child, having Lily's eyes. Even the memory of Lily seemed to bother her. But, Harry considered, maybe what actually bothered her was that she felt so alone when Lily went to Hogwarts without her. Harry could understand how it felt to be alone. Yet, he wouldn't say he sympathized with Petunia, exactly. After all, she was at least fifty percent of the reason his childhood had been as lonely as hers.

"Alright, you can keep reading if that's what you'd like, Harry," Mrs. Weasley said understandingly, patting him on the shoulder. "I'll bring you a plate of something over here so you can read while you eat. I shan't have you skipping meals."

"Thanks, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said appreciatively. Mrs. Weasley was the closest thing Harry had ever had to a mother. Lily had died before he was old enough to remember anything about her but her dying screams. Petunia, though she was, technically, the woman that had raised him, she had never treated him like a son. She fed him and clothed him, yes, but she never doted on him like she did Dudley. Harry was sure that had Lily lived, she would have been an equally doting parent.

Lily. That was the person who Harry was trying to understand by reading this book. Not Petunia. He refused to let this book change his perception of her. A sad backstory didn't excuse eleven years of neglect. Sighing, he turned the page and began to read again at the next entry:

I don't understand what's happening. Lily got a strange letter today from someplace called Hogwarts. It says she's a witch! That's crazy! Witches only exist in storybooks, don't they? They're supposed to have green skin and warts and stuff and Lily isn't like that at all! This must be a mistake!

Lily was a Muggleborn, Harry recalled. Even though he was technically a pureblood, seeing as both his parents were wizards, he hadn't known about the existence of magic until he'd gotten his Hogwarts letter, either. Or, in his case, letters, because Dumbledore had known somehow that Vernon and Petunia would stop the first letter from reaching him. He had a very clear memory of crying out in alarm as Petunia ground up one of his letters in the blender. Was this the day, he wondered, that had made her despise Hogwarts letters so much? The letter must have changed Lily's life as profoundly as it had his.

Mum and Dad said somebody named Dumbledore contacted them and explained to them that Lily is something called a Muggleborn. I still don't want to believe it. Because, I mean, she's my sister, isn't she? It doesn't make sense that she could be a witch when I'm not.

Harry wondered for a moment how the Muggleborn gene worked. Or was it even genetic? Had there been some witch, generations distant, in the Evans family tree that passed on wizardry to Lily? Or did magic just pop up randomly and turn some people into wizards, but not others? Life would have been very different, he considered, if Petunia hadn't been born a Muggle. Or, perhaps she did have the wizard gene, but she was just a Squib. In a non-wizarding family, how could one really tell the difference?

Mrs. Weasley returned and set a plate of shepherd's pie and a cup of tea on the arm of chair.

"Thanks," Harry muttered and took a forkful before he continued to read:

They say Lily has to go to this Hogwarts place to learn how to be a witch. But she can't! She can't, she can't, she can't! She has to go to St. Martha's with me! She has to be there for me when I need her! I need her so much. I don't know how to live without her. She's been by my side, every day, since I was born. They can't make her be separated from me. I won't allow it.

"You can't stop it," Harry found himself muttering aloud as he sipped his tea. Lily did leave Petunia and go to Hogwarts. All of Petunia's whining wouldn't change a thing. He flipped a page to a later entry:

I told Lily I didn't want her to leave me. I figured she wouldn't want to go to this Hogwarts place at all, because it would mean we'd be apart. I told her if she doesn't want to go, they can't force her to do it against her will.

But she looked at me and she said, "But doesn't it sound exciting, Tuney? Real magic! Can you believe it? The letter said that first years learn to fly on brooms! Can you picture it, Tuney? Me, flying? And I get my very own magic wand, like in a storybook! And in third year I'll take Care of Magical Creatures, so I can pet a real, live unicorn! Did you know that unicorns really do exist, Tuney? Isn't it the most amazing thing you've ever heard?"

She sounded so…excited. Excited to go to this place where I wouldn't be. Does she just not want to be around me anymore? Have I done something wrong? When I got the news that she'd be leaving, I went into my room and cried for hours. Why isn't she crying? How can she be happy that we'll be at different schools for the first tme EVER?! And Hogwarts isn't a school you come home from at the end of the day, like St. Martha's. It's a boarding school. That means I won't see her at school or at home. Once she leaves, I won't see her again until Christmas. How can she be alright with that? Does she hate me?

Harry was certain that Lily didn't hate Petunia. He wasn't sure his mother was capable of hating anyone. She didn't seem to have a mean bone in her body. Her excitement probably had nothing to do with leaving Petunia. It was learning she was magical that must have distracted her from everything else. Harry still remembered the moment Hagrid had growled at him, "Yer a wizard, Harry." That moment – the moment he found out he was special – had been life-changing. Harry had had no happy Muggle life to leave behind, but he figured if he had, like Lily, he still would have done it. He'd never heard of a Muggleborn refusing to go to Hogwarts for any reason. How could you refuse something as wonderful as magic school? He figured, deep down, Lily hadn't wanted to leave Petunia. The realization that that they'd be separated probably hit her later, after the newness of the news that witches existed wore off. At that point, maybe she had cried.

Harry shook his head. Why was he trying to justify the way Lily treated Petunia, anyway? He hated Petunia. He shouldn't care whether or not Lily made her cry, decades ago. She certainly wasn't crying over her sister anymore. Harry started on a new entry:

Lily is always hanging around that Snape boy now.

"She's talking about Professor Snape…" Harry realized. It was still strange to him that Petunia and his mother had known Snape since they were kids.

Why does she go and sit by the old tree with him? She's leaving soon, so shouldn't she be cherishing the time she has left with me?

She says he's a wizard, too. I can't believe it. Aren't wizards supposed to have long, white beards and pointy hats?

Harry chuckled. Dumbledore was the only wizard he'd ever met that fit that description.

I guess that's why Lily likes him. He's magic, like her, and I'm not. I'm a Muggle, whatever that means. I guess it means I'm not special. She sits and talks to the Snape boy for hours about how cool things at Hogwarts will be, and what classes they're going to take, and what house they think they're going to be in.

There are four houses at Hogwarts, apparently, called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. I started thinking about which one I'd be before I remembered that it didn't matter, because I'm not going. I'm going to St. Martha's all alone.

Why does Snape get to be a wizard? He's just a stupid, greasy-haired boy in clothes that don't fit. Why does he get to go with Lily when I can't? Why does he get to be happy?

"But he's not happy," Harry muttered. "Eventually, he lost Mum, too." Harry wished he had Snape's diary instead of Petunia's, so that he could see the days when Snape and Lily were happy together, before everything went wrong. But, he supposed beggars couldn't be choosers. He was lucky to have even this glimpse of his mother's past.

Harry turned the page. Suddenly, a piece of paper fell out of the diary! It was in different handwriting than the diary entries. Looking at the entry next to where the paper had fallen out of, Harry read, Lily has been gone a month now. She sent this letter.

Harry gasped. The paper was a letter written in his mother's hand! Yes! This was the sort of thing he'd been looking for: a window into Lily's early life. He unfolded the letter and began reading, imagining his mother's voice, which he'd heard in the graveyard the night Voldemort returned, saying the words:

Dear Tuney,

Hogwarts is so amazing!

Petunia probably didn't want to hear that, Harry considered. It would only make her feel worse.

Wish you were here with me.

So did she, Harry bet.

Sev got sorted into Slytherin almost immediately.

She was talking about Snape again.

I don't know much about the houses here, but everyone says Slytherin is bad. But Sev isn't bad, so maybe they're wrong. For a moment, I kind of wanted to be sorted into Slytherin just so we could be together, because he's the only person I know here. A lot of the other kids grew up in wizarding villages, and so they know each other already. I started to worry I could never worm my way into these pre-established cliques.

But, the Sorting Hat (it's a hat and it talks and sings! It's amazing!) told me I didn't have a Slytherin heart. It said I wasn't like Sev, which made me kind of sad, because there's nothing wrong with the way Sev is.

Snape wasn't a jerk back then, Harry realized. He may have been interested in the wrong sort of magic, but he must have been a good kid. Lily wouldn't hang around a bad kid, after all. He wondered, silently, if Snape would have stayed good if Lily had been in his house, keeping an eye on him. Or maybe choosing Slytherin would have made Lily go bad, too. It was a moot point, because Harry knew what Lily was going to say next:

I got sorted into Gryffindor.

"Like me," Harry whispered.

I didn't know any Gryffindors at all, so I was kind of nervous as I walked to the Gryffindor dining table, wondering who I was going to sit with. What if nobody wanted to be next to me?

Then, suddenly, a kid with messy hair and specs called out to me and said, "Oi, sit with me and my friends, redhead girl!"

I told him my name wasn't "redhead girl", it was Lily Evans. He told me his name was James Potter.

Harry almost dropped the letter in excitement and shock. "That's how my mum met my dad!" he said gleefully. He'd always wondered about that. This is was the sort of thing he'd made Mr. Weasley go fetch the diary for!

His friend, who was sitting next to him, introduced himself as Remus Lupin. He was reading Hogwarts, A History. I asked him if I could borrow it sometime, seeing as how I'm a Muggleborn and don't know much about wizarding history at all. He said yes. He seems really nice. I sat between James and him.

"And this is Sirius," said James, pointing to a friend of his who was busy stuffing his face with chicken that had spontaneously appeared on the table. "Pwe's'r t' meet you," Sirius said through a mouthful of food. He had his feet on the table and he kind of smelled like wet dog.

There was another boy at the table, but he was too shy to introduce himself. He was kind of fat and had really watery-looking eyes. James said his name was Peter.

"Wormtail," Harry hissed. Knowing what he would eventually cause his mother's death made Harry wish that their meeting, which he'd just read about, had never occurred. He wished he could jump into the letter and tell Lily to never speak to Peter Pettigrew again. But, all he could do was keep reading.

My new roommate is named Alice, and she's super nice. She introduced me to her friend from back home, Frank Longbottom.

"She's talking about Neville's parents," Harry realized.

As friendly as all these Gryffindors were, all I could think about was when I'd see Sev again. I was so happy when I found out he was in my Potions class! He seems really good at the subject. Professor Slughorn told him what a natural he is.

"Good enough to take Slughorn's job from him someday," Harry murmured. "Though it's not the job he really wanted."

Potions is surprisingly easy for me, too. Professor Slughorn said that was interesting, since I'm a Muggleborn and all. Sev looked like he was going to agree, until he saw my face. I asked Alice if Muggleborns are usually less good at magic than other wizards. She made a face and said no.

"Hermione was a Muggleborn, too," Harry grumbled. "And she was the best witch in my year. Anyone who says otherwise is a prat."

Anyway, other than that, everything's going great. More than anything, I wish you were here, Tuney.

Love,

Lily

Petunia didn't just love Lily, Harry realized. Lily had loved her back. Losing Lily's love had made both Petunia and Snape into bitter, mean people. On the other hand, gaining Lily's love had saved Harry's life when he was an infant.

Love was a funny thing, he decided. But, he wondered if, at the end of this, he might begin to love his aunt, after all.