Unarmed
Dean just won't wait - even a cup of coffee has it's risks when you're … armless
xxxxx
Sam's life had suddenly become much easier.
Dean, whilst not exactly gracious, had become a paragon of co-operation; a week had gone by and Sam was in his element fussing over his brother.
He had happened across the ultimate Dean taming weapon; something far more potent than anything the hospital could have given him. He only had to utter the words, "well then I'll just have to get Bobby to help me", and Dean was putty in his hands.
Sam figured that he was in for a rough ride when all this was over judging by the dirty looks Dean fired in his direction whenever he thought Sam wasn't looking, but for now Sam was loving being 'big brother' and giving Dean a bit of payback for the entire life of care Dean had given him.
xxxxx
Dean sat on the edge of the bath, his brother kneeling at his feet helping him to slip on his socks.
"This is what I'm reduced to" moaned Dean, "the last time I had someone's head anywhere near my knees she was a lot better looking than you "
Sam looked up, a broad grin on his face, "I bet she didn't want to touch your socks though!"
Dean huffed.
"Hey Dean, I've been thinking", Sam looked up at his brother.
"Steady on" was the response, "I wondered where the smoke was coming from".
Sam smiled wickedly at his brother, "You know Dean, seeing as I have your foot in my hands and you do have the most ticklish feet in the world, you might want to think about being a bit more civil to me!" He waggled his eyebrows threateningly.
Dean snorted. "You're talking crap" he snapped, but was careful to slide his foot well away from Sam's grip as he said it.
"Stand up" coaxed Sam, "I'm just going to get your deodorant, then we'll get your T shirt on". Dean nodded and obediently stood up as Sam disappeared down the landing.
Sam returned a moment later with a can of 'Ram' deodorant spray to find the spectacle of his brother staggering bare-chested in the middle of the bathroom, squirming under a black T shirt which appeared to be eating his head and left arm, only his right arm, resplendent in cast, was visible, pointing straight up in the air through the neck hole.
Sam leaned in the doorway with crossed arms and sighed. Then he marched unseen over to Dean and detonated a blast of 'Ram' under his one exposed armpit.
There was a muffled squawk, followed by a tirade of mumbled obscenities.
Sam rearranged his brother's T shirt, pulling and pushing unco-ordinated arms through various holes, ducking to avoid a plaster cast across the forehead, and delivering another blast of 'Ram' in the process, laughing when Dean's head, spikey haired and flushed face appeared through the hole.
Sam gazed at him levelly. "You can't wait, can you?"
Dean at least had the good grace to look admonished, he chewed his lip and looked down at the floor.
Then he looked up, "what were you thinkin'?" he asked.
Sam looked at him, "thinkin'?" he repeated vacantly; "Ah yeah, I was thinkin' you've been cooped up in this house over a week, why don't we go out for a walk, go and have a coffee?"
Dean liked the sound of that; fresh air, a bit of activity and some decent caffeine, a nice change from the dishwater that Bobby served up. Plus there was the added bonus of that cute little waitress with the short blonde hair and the tattoo on the left one - he'd never seen enough of it to work out exactly what it was. Perhaps today would be the day!
"Great idea Sammy, lets go!"
"Uh yeah, shall we put your jeans on first?"
"Oh yeah!"
xxxxx
The walk down to the cafe was a welcome diversion to both Winchesters; Sam happily ignored Dean's snarking which was due to the fact that Sam had insisted he wear both his slings for the walk.
"I look like as friggin' badly made bed!"
But Sam didn't care, the sun was shining, the cool breeze was in his hair, the crickets were singing and big brother was letting him help. Life was as good as it got for a Winchester.
When they arrived at the cafe, Dean headed over to a table in the corner and wriggled out of his slings before Sam could nag or bitch about it. Sam just rolled his eyes and approached the counter behind which stood the cute blonde waitress whose name badge introduced her as Kay.
"Hey", Sam smiled that smile that made every woman on earth want to mother him, "one skinny hazelnut latte and a double shot americano extra hot". Kay smiled back, "sure, hun". Dean was watching her intently from the corner; what was it … dolphin? rose? …
"Oh, I'll have two of those chocolate frosted donuts too".
rabbit?
Kay headed over to the table with the drinks, Sam pointed to Dean for the black coffee.
"Aw, poor hun, what ya done to yourself" she leaned over to look at Dean's double casts.
Butterfly … YAHTZEE .. Butterfly!
Dean looked up at her and Sam immediately noticed his brother go to work.
"Oh God - not the big eyes!" Sam shook his head and had to look away, it was like watching one of those wildlife programmes where some tiny, dimwitted, doe-eyed antelope gets stalked by a scheming pack of predators.
"Broke both my arms" Dean replied, working a deliberate wheeze into his voice.
Sam grinned and shook his head.
"Aah, you poor, poor bunny" Kay cooed, "that must hurt so bad!"
"Ah, yeah" whispered Dean weakly, "but, you know, I just get on with it …"
Sam spun round behind Kay to face Dean and made a silent imitation of someone being violently sick.
"You poor old brave thing - would you like me to cut up your donut?"
Sam nearly choked on his coffee.
"Would you?" Dean smiled, "that would be really kind of you."
He even worked a pathetic little cough into the words. She gently patted his arm, "no trouble at all sweetie" she smiled.
Sam watched incredulously. "Jeez Dean, if your eyes get any bigger your eyeballs are gonna fall out!"
Kay cut the donut into quarters and walked back to the counter , looking over her shoulder with a broad smile which was reciprocated from the face opposite Sam.
"That was revolting" laughed Sam, "have you no shame?"
"Jealousy is very a unattractive trait and doesn't suit you" announced Dean smugly.
Sam got up, still laughing, and headed over to the mens' room.
xxxxx
It was while Sam was drying his hands he heard the crash, closely followed by the agonised howl. He ripped the door open and tore over to where his brother was curled up in his chair, his coffee cup on it's side in a puddle of steaming liquid. The rest was in his lap.
Dean was rocking back in his chair, fist in his mouth, his legs crossing and uncrossing spasmodically. Kay stood over him awkwardly dabbing at his thighs with a dishcloth, clearly uncomfortable with how far she should go to help.
"Jeez, Sam … SAM!" Dean squealed, "the whole lot went in my lap, my freakin' privates are on fire!"
Sam crouched down beside Dean clutching his shaking shoulders, "er, OK Dean, lets get you back to Bobby's and cleaned up" Dean turned to look at him through bulging, teary eyes, still gasping pitifully and gnawing his knuckles.
Sam pulled Dean to his feet, he turned to Kay, "sorry about the mess". "No problem, hun" her smile masked by her concern, "hope he's OK". Sam smiled, "thanks Kay"
Dean managed something that sounded like "Nnnggkk".
xxxxx
The walk back to Bobby's wasn't half as pleasant as the walk out, in addition to his scalded legs, Dean's wet jeans had begun to chafe something wicked, and so by the time they got home, Dean's bow legs were pretty much operating in different zip codes.
"What the hell …?" asked Bobby as the pair staggered through his kitchen.
"Don't ask", groaned Sam, "he wouldn't wait - dropped a cup of scalding hot coffee in his lap".
"Ouch!" said Bobby; "take him upstairs and get his pants off him."
Sam practically carried his brother up the staircase.
xxxxx
"Pants" said Sam, matter-of-factly, he unbuttoned Dean's jeans and worked them down his trembling legs.
Dean flopped onto the bed and they both surveyed the damage. Dean's thighs were crimson, but the damage was superficial - it looked like a severe sunburn. Dean looked vaguely disappointed that there wasn't more gruesome damage to justify the pain that he'd suffered.
He pulled out the front of his boxers, he took a good long look, then had a little rummage around. "thank goodness" he sighed with relief, "no harm done".
Bobby handed over two soaked towels to Sam, and came in to check up on the patient; "ya eejit!" was his appraisal of he situation.
Sam laid the two cold towels across Dean's thighs. Dean shuddered against the cold but didn't complain; he laid back on the bed looking up at the two faces which were looking down on him.
"Why couldn't you wait for me to help you?" asked Sam, kneeling down beside his brother as Bobby took the towels away to dampen them again.
"Well, I'd have looked a freakin' pussy if I'd have had to let you feed me my own coffee!"
Sam stared in disbelief. "Oh, I see", he stated, "so you just tipped it in your lap and screamed the place down as you par-boiled yourself.". He nodded, "yeah, I can see how that would be so much more dignified!"
"That wasn't in the plan" snapped Dean, he looked down at his thighs, "look, it's taken all the hairs off …" he wailed.
Bobby replaced the cold towels back across Dean's legs, and turned to leave the room. "Will you guys be wanting a coffee?" he nodded towards Dean, "should I put his in a bowl on the floor?"
Dean looked up with an offended frown as Sam burst out laughing.
xxxxx
Dean sprawled flat on the bed as Sam gently smoothed some lotion onto his scalded thighs. "You are going to owe me seriously for this!" Sam chuckled as he worked small circles of the cool cream into Dean's warm skin.
"That's far enough up" snapped Dean, "if this isn't humiliating enough, I don't need you manhandling my privates as well!"
He sighed.
"You should have got that Kay to come over" Dean mumbled wistfully, "she would have sold her grandmother to be sitting where you are!"
Sam smiled and shook his head, "You know Dean, you can moan all you want, but I saw something today I never thought I'd see"
Dean looked up; "wha …?"
"You were sitting there today and a gorgeous girl had her hands all over your nether regions, and you were hollering out for me!"
Dean visibly wilted.
"I am never showing my face in that place again!"
xxxxx
Hope you like - do you want more armless Dean?
