2. Bewilderment
Renesmee's POV
It felt great to be laying in Jakes arms again; I had missed this more than I thought I would. The last couple of weeks have definitely taken their toll on our relationship. I understand that Jake wants to help Leah and that he feels responsible for her but does he really need to spend so much time with her.
We all want Leah to survive this and we are all working extremely hard to find a cure for her but we all have our own lives too. Unfortunately, Jake doesn't seem to be able to understand this. Everything revolves around Leah and it's too much. I know I am being selfish but I just want Jake to want me the way I want him.
"What are you thinking about?" Jake asked.
Although we had spent most of the night enjoying each other neither of us seemed to be able to sleep. Jake had been so quiet that I thought he had finally fallen to sleep so I was surprised to look up and see him staring at me.
"I was just thinking about how nice this is, lying here with you. I've missed it," I confessed.
"I'm sorry Nessie, I know I have been neglecting you but I promise I won't do it anymore," Jake replied.
"It's okay Jake I understand, I just wish we had more time together," I admitted as I traced circles on his perfect chest.
Jake grabbed my hand and held it tight against his chest as he flipped me onto my back. I could feel his heart racing as his warm soft lips crushed themselves against mine.
"Let's make the most of the time we do have together," Jake whispered as his lips moved to my throat.
I didn't need any more encouragement than that. My fingers weaved their way into Jakes hair pulling his face back up towards mine. My lips found his in an instant, they moved together gently but with an urgency that caused my breath to come in gasps and my heart to accelerate. Jake ran his warm strong hands down the length of my naked body, holding us together as we made love.
****************
The sound of my phone vibrating on the bedroom floor filled me with fear and anger. Jake grabbed the phone, checked the caller id and then answered.
"Edward, what is it?" Jake asked as he lay beside me.
I could just make out dad's words on the other end of the phone. I sighed and began to climb out of bed when I felt Jakes hand pull me back down. I stared at him confused by his actions.
"I'll be right there," Jake said before slamming the phone shut.
Jake looked at my confused face and smiled, "Stay here, I won't be long."
I watched as Jake jumped out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt.
"What do you mean, 'wait here'?" I asked confused.
Jake walked around the side of the bed and took my face in his hands, "Get some sleep, I'll be back before you know it."
With that, he kissed my forehead and then ran from the room, down the stairs and out the front door.
I stared at the stairs bewildered by what had just happened. I was sure I heard dad say that Leah had taken a turn for the worse, so why would Jake tell me to stay here? Does he not want me to support him?
There is no way I will be able to sleep now. I decided to get dressed and head over to the house. Maybe they will know what is going on and maybe I will be able to find a reason why Jake doesn't want me with him.
Brooke's POV
Joshua had been quiet for the entire journey home and I knew it was because he didn't want to leave but there is no way I would have been able to stay there any longer. He couldn't understand why Gino was not coming with us and I knew he blamed me for it. I hated the fact that Joshua had heard everything that we had said to each other before we left, why didn't I just keep my mouth shut?
I pulled up outside the Cullen's house with Joshua sleeping beside me. As I looked at his beautiful peaceful face, I thought back over the last conversation I had with Gino…
"You're leaving?" Gino asked already knowing the answer; my bags rather gave that one away.
"Yes, are you coming?" I asked giving him the option.
I couldn't leave without finding out if he would have chosen to come with us, even if it was to my detriment.
Gino hesitated, glancing from Joshua to Tanya.
"I don't want to leave, won't you stay?" Gino asked hopeful.
From the way he continued to glance from Joshua to Tanya, I could guess why he wanted to stay and why he wanted me to stay. He didn't want me but he didn't want me to take Joshua. I felt sick, not in the normal human way but in a way that caused my head to spin and my heart to break. The truth was too much to bear.
"I can't," I whispered barely able to string the two words together.
"Why?" Gino demanded.
Either he was completely stupid or just too ignorant to notice; the reason was plain for everyone to see on my face.
"You know why Gino."
He still looked confused and glanced towards Carmen for the answer, is he really going to make me spell it out for him?
"I love you Gino and I can't sit around watching you fall in love with Tanya, it's killing me," I confessed.
Shock crossed his face, did he really not know?
"What about Joshua?" Gino asked.
So he does care for Joshua… but he doesn't care for me. Can I stay for the sake of Joshua?
"He needs me," Gino continued.
Joshua squirmed in my arms and I released him. He ran into Gino's open arms and nestled his head into Gino's neck. I could feel the sobs beginning to erupt in my chest, why are they doing this to me? I can't stay I just can't.
"Come with us then," I begged, "For Joshua."
I knew it was selfish and wrong but I couldn't help it I had to ask, I had to try whatever I could for Joshua.
Pain shot across Gino's face and I began to feel guilty for putting him in this position… but hadn't I just been in the same position?
Joshua glanced up at Gino waiting for his reply, his little face eager.
"I'm sorry Josh…"
I grabbed Joshua from Gino's arms without waiting for his parting words, picked up my bag and ran from the house.
Joshua was staring up at me, how long has he been awake?
I climbed out of the car feeling anxious, I didn't want to have to explain to everyone why I had suddenly decided to come back and why I was alone but that was inevitable.
Joshua held my hand as we walked up the porch steps and knocked on the door. I was surprised to have to wait, are they out?
The door opened after a moment to reveal a less than chirpy Alice. What's wrong?
"Hi Brooke, did you have fun in Alaska?" Alice asked in a detached voice.
Although she was looking at me, I had the distinct impression that her mind was elsewhere as her face became blank.
"Yes," I lied. "Alice are you okay?"
My attention was diverted from Alice as Esme flitted into the room. Joshua released my hand and ran to her. Esme lifted him with ease and kissed the top of his head.
"It's good to have you back Brooke," Esme said as she walked towards me.
"It's good to be back," I replied. "Do you know what is wrong with Alice?"
Esme immediately turned to Alice and shook her shoulder.
"Alice what is it? What do you see?"
I realised then that Alice was having a vision and took Joshua from Esme's arms. I watched as Alice's eyes became more aware, leaving a look of horror on her small pixie face.
Jasper was suddenly at her side, "Alice what did you see?"
Alice looked into his eyes and whispered, "Leah!"
"What about Leah?" Jasper probed.
"What did you see?" Esme asked.
Alice shook her head as if she was trying to rid herself of a horrible image and readjust her thoughts.
"I don't understand," she said. "It's not possible."
"What's not possible?" Jasper asked.
Alice took a deep breath before answering. "Leah becoming a vampire."
Esme and Jasper shared an anxious glance. I was completely baffled, I had no idea what was going on.
"Are you sure?" Jasper asked.
"Yes, it was as clear as you are standing in front of me now but I don't understand…" Alice trailed off unable to make sense of her vision.
"How?" Esme asked.
"It's not possible," Jasper whispered.
I stared at the three of them as they became completely motionless, staring blankly. What is going on? What have I missed?
"Nessie," Joshua cried from my arms.
I pulled my eyes away from Esme, Alice and Jasper to see Nessie entering the room.
"Brooke… Josh, when did you get back?" Nessie cried, opening her arms for Joshua.
Joshua went willingly into Nessie's arms and snuggled up to her. Maybe he is happier to be home than I first thought.
"A few minutes ago," I replied. "Although I think my timing could have been better."
Nessie looked at me confused so I nodded towards the three statues and Nessie gasped.
"What's happened? Is it Leah?"
Again, with Leah, are they expecting something to happen to her?
"Yes, Alice had a vision. She saw Leah as a vampire," I informed her.
"What?" Nessie cried shocked. "That's not possible."
"So I've heard," I replied.
Jacob's POV
Why does Leah have to deteriorate now? I've just promised Nessie that I won't neglect her anymore, how can I keep that promise now?
I pushed the door open, to impatient to knock. Edward was at my side in a second.
"She has gone into sepsis," Edward informed me as we made our way to Leah.
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"Her heart rate and respiratory rate have accelerated," Edward explained.
Carlisle was kneeling on the floor beside Leah and I wondered what he was doing.
"Carlisle is putting her on an intravenous drip. She needs fluids and antibiotics." Edward said answering my thoughts.
"Will that help?" I asked.
"It's too early to tell," Carlisle replied as he stood.
"Where's Nahuel?" I asked, noticing his absence.
"Bella took him out, he couldn't handle seeing Leah struggling to breath," Edward replied.
That figures, can't he handle anything? He always runs at the first sign of any problem, why is he such a coward?
"It's difficult for him," Edward said hearing my thoughts.
"It was difficult for you when Bella was sick but you didn't run away. You tried to stay strong for her, why can't Nahuel do that for Leah?" I said as I tried to understand.
"Not everyone is like you or I Jacob. Everyone deals with things in their own way," Edward replied.
I knew this but I still thought it was wrong. When you love someone, you should be there for them no matter what. They become your priority, they become your life. Nothing else matters but them, not even your own feelings, especially your own feelings, they come second to what she needs.
"I've got to go."
Edward raised an eyebrow at my words.
"Let me know if there is any change."
Edward nodded in acknowledgement and I turned on my heels and ran from the house.
I've been so stupid; I've let Leah's illness rule my life. I've sat beside her night after night whilst Nessie has suffered. I should never have let that happen. Leah doesn't need me; she needs Nahuel just like Nessie needs me.
As I approached the house, I noticed Nessie's car had gone. Where is she? There was only one place I could think of as I jumped in my Masarati and headed for the Cullen's.
Nessie didn't think I would come back, she thought they were just words I had said to comfort her. She thought I would be with Leah all day. What have I done? How much have I hurt her?
I parked my car next to Nessie's and ran into the house. Alice, Esme, Nessie and Jasper were statues in the room. Brooke stood in the corner with Josh in her arms, keeping her eyes to the ground.
As I approached, Brooke looked up, looking scared and confused.
"What happened?" I demanded as I went to Nessie.
"I don't know," Brooke replied. "Alice had a vision and they all turned to stone."
I looked into Nessie's eyes but she just stared straight through me.
"What did Alice see?" I asked confused as to what would have made them react like this.
"You won't react like them will you?" Brooke asked anxiously.
"No I'm not a vampire I can't," I reassured her.
Brooke didn't answer, I turned towards her, pleading her to tell me what Alice saw.
"Alice saw Leah as a vampire."
I couldn't believe my ears, how could Alice see that? Leah is a werewolf.
"What? That's not …"
"Please don't say it," Brooke cried interrupting me. "I've heard it before. They all said the same thing before turning to stone."
I pulled my cell from my pocket and hit redial, Edward answered on the first ring.
"You need to come home now," I said.
"We're on our way," Edward replied without questioning me and then hung up.
"Why have they reacted like that?" Brooke asked.
I wasn't completely sure myself but Brooke looked terrified so I felt I had to reassure her.
"I think they are in shock," I replied. "Don't worry they will be fine."
Brooke seemed to believe me, she placed Josh onto the floor and he ran towards me. He had grown so much since the last time I had seen him. He looked like a toddler already, all his baby chubbiness had gone. His blonde curls hung down to his shoulders and his blue eyes were piercing.
"Hey Josh," I said as I pulled him into my arms.
"Gino gone," Josh exclaimed.
I looked towards Brooke confused and saw the pain in her eyes before she looked away.
"Gone where?" I asked Josh.
"He wiv Tanna," he replied.
Suddenly everything fell into place. Gino had fallen for Tanya leaving Brooke broken hearted. That explains her decision to come back minus Gino.
"I'm so sorry Brooke," I said as I approached her. "If it helps I know how you feel and I promise it does get better. It gets a lot better when you find your soul mate."
I couldn't help but glance towards Nessie as I spoke; she was my soul mate in so many ways.
"Thanks Jake but don't worry about me. What are we going to do about them?"
We both looked towards Nessie, Alice, Esme and Jasper. They were still statues in the room and I began to prey that Carlisle and Edward would know what to do.
