Once I was home, I didn't cry. However, I also didn't speak or eat and I barely moved. My family were mourning the death of my father, as was I, but I was also trying to mend a heart that had been broken twice in four months. The first time I had hidden away from it for as long as I could. This time there was no escaping it. I didn't have to see him in person but every now and again I would hear his voice or his laugh echoing through the house as he talked on The Report or one of the countless specials that they were doing on Kriss and Maxon. I found myself wondering if he was thinking about me. I shook my head. How could he be? He had Kriss and that was all that mattered.

It took a week before I finally left my bedroom. Mum was surprised when I appeared beside her one night and helped her with the cooking. But she didn't ask questions about what had happened or try to comfort me at all. We worked in a silent dance almost, both of us grieving our lost loves and our broken hearts. I suddenly realised that I had more in common with her than I'd previously realised.

"How do you do it?" I whispered. My voice came out hoarse due to its lack of use over the past week but mum heard me.

"I have to." She replied. "You, May and Gerad all need me. I have to be there for Kenna and Kota. What else is there to do but carry on. But…" She paused, "Every time I'm alone, I cry. I cry myself to sleep most nights and wake up and whimper at the empty bed. If I go to see May in the studio, I make sure to stand with my back towards where he worked. I don't think you can ever recover from a broken heart but every day it gets a little easier. Everyday you cry for a second less. You can do a little bit more before you think about it. You feel a little less sad and a little more normal."

A few minutes later, as Mum laid dinner out on the table, I went to get May from the studio. Gerad was in there as well to keep her company as neither wanted to be alone. She was trying to teach him the principles of still-life painting using his football but he didn't seem interested still.

"Hey guys, dinner's ready." I told them, forcing a smile on my face. When May heard my voice she hugged me tightly but said nothing as I followed them back through to the dining room to eat.

I never realised how much I missed this kind of meal. The food might have been better at the palace but there was no where near as much love in it and the conversations were never as exciting. At one point I laughed, and not quietly, and no one told me to be more of a lady. There were no snide comments, no glaring looks, and no tight corsets stopping me from eating or breathing.

I spent the evening with my family and we chatted and laughed for hours until it was definitely past bedtime for Gerad and May was sent to bed too. It was just mum and me left. I pulled her into a tight hug.

"Thank you, for everything." I whispered in her ear. And in that was every unspoken word between us and every argument was resolved.

The following days were better. I still dreaded the nights when I was left alone with my thoughts. On some occasions, I found myself crawling into bed beside Mum. She never asked why I was there, and I never questioned the damp patches on the pillows. We both knew.

But, I still needed to move on with my life and that wasn't in this house. After all, I was a three now. Not a five. I could no longer sing and make music to earn my keep. I had the number of my aide that had taken me to the airport and was supposed to help me make the transfer from five to three. Silvia had told me before I left the palace that I shouldn't leave it too long to ring her but that I was free to take some time to get through this difficult period. It was the most sympathetic she had ever been to me.

We arranged for her to come over to the house that afternoon to talk about my options for the rest of my life so I made sandwiches and prepared a pot of tea for us. Mum had taken Gerad and May into the dining room to work on their studies and left me alone in the living room to wait for my aide. She seemed friendly enough last time I saw her and reminded me on the phone that her name was Melissa and she shook my hand as she came inside.

"How are you doing?" She asked me with a sad look on her face.

"I've been better but I'm getting there." I shrugged. I didn't feel like talking about my feelings with a stranger but it was still kind of true. "I just need to move on with my life."

"Yes! It must be very excited going all the way from a five to a three! It's going to make your life so much better." She had a big smile on her face. I wasn't sure whether she was a two or a three but whichever it was she certainly looked down on the lower castes.

"I know I have to give up my music in the way that I do it now, but I would like to do something as similar as possible. After all, it's where my skills lie!" I laughed nervously. I was worried that I would be unable to continue with music in any way but she smiled at me and nodded.

"Yes, I thought you might so I've been looking around for a job for you and found one as a lower level music producer! You would be listening out for talent, maybe organising shows and even giving advice on how singers and musicians should perform songs!" She seemed so excited by the idea that I smiled and nodded at her, even though I knew it would break my heart to not be playing any more. I guessed I would be able to do that in my free time though. There were no laws about that after all! She handed me a piece of paper which had the job description of the music producer job and the address of the studios in Carolina… it was a town over.

"Is there nothing closer to home?" I asked her, sadness probably showing in my voice. She shook her head.

"There isn't much for music in this town I'm afraid. It's too small. But I found you a lovely little house for you that's near the train station so you would be able to come home easily." She continued talking, no more discussion about location apparently. "I have set up a meeting at the production company for two tomorrow afternoon, don't worry I'll pick you up from here at eleven, and then we'll go and see it and a couple of others. Then you can make your decision." She smiled as if she was giving me such a choice. I looked over the addresses of the houses that she had found for me. They were so similar that they had to be close by to each other. Not much variety there!

I was right as the next day, when we were looking around 'my future home' as Melissa kept calling it, I could practically see the other options from the window. They were nice, though. The one bedroom flats were probably the size of the four bedroomed home that I had spent my life in so there would be plenty of room for my instruments, even a piano when I saved up for one. The kitchen, as well, was big and I could have a dinner party for my whole family here. Maybe even invite Celeste and some of the other girls from the Selection.

It was lonely though. I soon realised as I remembered that the furniture that was there wasn't mine and that I would have to save up to afford some of my own. My family would be so far away. Would they even be able to find time to come visit me? I hoped they would, especially since I would be able to afford to pay for all of their travel. The job at the music producers had a salary that was probably more than what her whole family had earned when she first started working. They seemed very excited to have a 'former lady' on their team and I realised that would be all I would ever be. A former lady of the Selection. A former love of the Prince of Illèa. I almost shed a tear at that and Melissa took it to mean that I was too overwhelmed from everything that had happened that day and decided to take me home to think it over.

I talked to Mum and May that night about it all and they both thought it sounded wonderful and were looking forward to seeing me there. I promised mum I would send money home, though it wouldn't be as much as when I was in the Selection. She nodded.

"Not too much though." She ordered. "You need to live your life as a three since you're lucky enough to have that opportunity." I sighed.

"I'd rather stay here and be a five." I mumbled as I picked at the chicken on my plate. Mum glared at me from across the table.

"You don't want this life, America, not if you can have something better." She hissed as she took the plates away.

After dinner, I decided to ring Kenna. She'd changed Castes after all, though there was a bigger difference between a three and a four than a four and a five. She said that she had never really been able to send money home as she got pregnant pretty soon after getting married and then had her own family to support. She understood why I wanted to send money home and said that mum did too. She just didn't want to be reliant on her daughter for money. Which made a lot of sense.

"Mum?" I asked tentatively as I went back through to the kitchen. "I want to make a deal with you about the money. I know you want me to go there and live this new life and I will, but on the condition that you let me pay for everyone's travel to the new house every Friday night for dinner. I also want you to take 1/3 of what I earn and tell me if you ever need more. This is to pay you back for how much you have given me over the years." She sighed.

"America, you don't owe us anything." She took a moment to think. "I'll agree on one condition. You take some of the money we got from the Selection to furnish your new house. And you let me help you do it." She added quickly. Clearly she wanted to make sure I wouldn't spend as little of the money as possible.

"Deal." I said and shook her hand.

And that was that. I moved out a few days later, saying goodbye to the family home that I had loved all my life and moved to somewhere strange and new, for the second time.

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought and leave me a review! Also, thank you to those who reviewed my last chapter. It makes me feel so good to know that someone has even read my work, never mind enjoyed it!