I woke up for the shivering cold and my clearly visible breath. I didn't have the faintest idea about why and how, then I realized that i became single.

From now on I need to manage myself, woithout the watching eyes of the big brother. Ads I survived the nigt, I planned to take a look around the city.

Right now, I only had a pocket bowie-knife in my pocket and I felt myself horribly vulnerable. Food didn't matter me so much, the can was enough for good. Of course my stomach was crap and I couldn't eat a bit now.

The sun was shining brightly, but I had not the faintest idea if it was useful for me orit spoils my chances for survival. Anyway, I need to carry on.

Emptyness and stink everywehere. The cold preserved the dead bodies and he fire finally went away. The snow was crunching under my feet, but I couldn't let go off the feeling that somebody is after me. The only question was- friend or foe? At this point I almost laughed at myself, since I had only enemies left in this world.

My sole friend was dead and Alexander was worse than the devil itself.

No. There was only me and my stupid thoughts.

After walking rapidly for 30 minutes, I got used to the stinky odour of the city. The corpses couldn't bother me either. They were lieing wherever the faith reached upon them and luckily they were not tempted by waking up, just like int he zombie movies. It bothered me more that there was more and more from the city.

Death is everywhere. The shops were left burglered and broken. How am I supposed to survive like this?

It started to snow again and the wind was blowing int he wildest way. I didn't want to spend the night outside and I have gone too far to return to my hide-away.

Winter showed its cruel face for the first time and Alexander withdrawed his troops. There were no schoolbuses and patrols around, because everyone wanted to get through the winter. The majority of those who left outside just don't make it till spring.

And I was one of them…

It was a dangerous territory in real life and in my soul as well. If I don't pay attention, I get killed. If I don't finish hurting myself, my own inner vioce is going to rip me apart.

I am not going to die. I am going to survive at all cost. The epidemic couldn't put me down, Camp Haven couldn't put me down either and nor Wonderland. I did survive anything, that can kill anyone else. I am not going to give up now. I am going to win against to myself.

"Overtaking ourselves is the most real and solely perfect win."

It managed to give me back my strength and I got myself together finally. I didn't care to check what city I am in and as I could finally lett he slum behind me, I was happy. As I reached the downtown there are more empty building in my way, from the tiniest to the skycraper types as well. Load of broken cars and malls.

Malls…well well, maybe it is time to take the chance to take a look around there. More shops, more chances. Of course, the amount of risk grew with the thoundands of squaremeters hunting territory was not only tempting me, since the stocks were endless there. Nobody could turn down such a great opportunity.

I had to take the chance.

I carefully entered the mall, where everything was covered with shards and the marks of distruction. There was only that much light it could come in from outside. I did not count with this problem. I am so used to the convenience of the base camp that I forgot about the nonexistence of infrustructure ont he other side of the wall.

I managed to create a shopping list, only from the most necessary things. First, I need a sack that I can pack, then a new outfit, since this military design is pretty unexplainable…okay, it's not like I want to make friends or something.

Assimilate and keep low- this is going to be my new motto.

I needed to maintain higenie to some extent and flashlamp, matches and other craps that can keep me warm or gives light. And of course, water. Food was the last thing in my list, becouse I can manage to keep on going witouth food for a week, but water...I don't survive two days without it.

And of cours,e the gun. It was only a wild idea, since I couldn't get hold of guns in every corner. Not even now. Right after the alien apocalypse, gun stures were robbed out and nothing is left, but I try to keep my eyes open.

So far, I was lucky as nobody attacked me int he city. The mall was empty as well and I finally found th ebest shop for me. Hiking gadgets from beginners to experts. Okay, there was also some shortage from the stocks and I had to be very careful about the shards and the clothes scattered around, but I could manage.

I knew I will spend some time here, so I drank some water from my very short stock. Then I could start my search. I cannot afford to be picky this time. Due to the discount, the stock was low, but I could find some hiking shoes for myself and a matching coat and trousers. The waterproof type- I read it quickly ont he clothings. If it would be bulletproof that would come handy.

Instead of being grumpy, I started to dress up for the situation. It was very weird feeling to wear civil clothes, but letting go of the boots was nice. The hiking shoes were so much friendlier, more comfortable and lighter, which was a very useful feature when someone is being hunted. I had no doubt that I will be hunted again.

Finally I found some scarp, a cap and other gadgets. This shop was amazing and it shortened my lista s well, although I has some major issues still.

I kept going in, to that part, where there was only half-light. I was very terrified from these places. If anyone else was here int he building, I made myself a great target here.

I feared from every step, 'couse I was sensing enemy in every corner. I didn't want to get into a concrede maze, but I had to. I needed to take the risk.

At last I picked a Wallmart, which was almost totally empty. People took everything that was virtually removable, but I could find some chocolate ont he shelves. But water…was nowhere.

And what if I checked it behind? I had this brave idea and I aimed for the storage. At first I sensed the odour of death and then I spotted the bloodstain ont he floor and…the dead body.

It must have been long time, since the corpse was not int he best conditions. He did not really raised my attention, but the supply he had…he must have hideen here, but he could not hide from plague. I knew that I should feel pity for him, but his death raised my chances of survival. I checked everything for several times, but the water cans were unharmed. 5 bottles of water, which last for 10 days if I can share it properly…and also some canned fruit. This was ways too little to survive ont he long run, but I was at least happy about it. And most importantly, I was still alive.

I packed everything in my sack and I was about to leave, when it occured to me that in Wallmart I can find anything…or at least I could before the attacks. Maybe I get lucky and I can cross out some items from the list.

I found some matches, that was already one thick. Sterilizer pad, handkerchief and liquid sterilizer. Finally, it is worth counting with the fact that I was born as a woman, which comes with some kind of…problems. I could handle this monthly problem as well. I was about to reach out for the little blue box (and there was quite a lot left), when I spotted something interesting…several types of tests. Pregnany tests.

Then I started to count back…When was the last time that I needed tampon? I was just not capable to remember. Every day was the same int he base and time lost its sense. When was the last time that I got an injection? More than two months ago. It happened in Camp Haven, but after that…Why am I so absent-minded? You had nausea int he morning and some other symtoms when you were at the base- I made myself remember.

No way. It cannot be true. This is impossible. I do not dare to say it out loud, becouse it could make it more real.

I had no objection against injection.

- This is not the world I would like to bear a child to- as I expressed itt o Alexander. He had no word against this.

I had to make sure of it. I took three types of tests from the shelf and went back to another row, where plastic cutleries and cups were stored.

It was not the th ebest solution, but anything is acceptable in emergency situation- I agreed with myself.

I unpacked the first test and made the first test. I waited for a minute, while I was removing the sweat from my forehead- the test was ready.

Positive.

It cannot be true.

I reached for the next test, it was again positive and the another one as well. I could have used up the whole stock, but it had not changed anything.

I was wrong about defining my state. So far, I have only been in a shitty situation, but not I started to drown.

There is no way out of this, becouse I cannot go back. There…it is not possible and like this it is especially not.

I tried to escape from the shop as soon as possible, just like I could leave my problems all behind. But they were attached to me tightly.

I took two stairs, where I could at least see the sky and the sunset. I must stay here- as I decided right away. As I could not find a better option, I entered a clothing shop. I gathered some coats and tops, since nobody will use them anyway. It did concentrate on what kind of clothes I was gathering around, it is only for sleeping.

I huddled u pin the corner and I set my 'bed'. I almostlauged at myself- and I was ont he verge of mental breakdown, when I spotted that those clothes I was piling up were designer clothes one by one. How jelous I was of those women who could afford to buy these stuffs. How quickly the world changed in the blink of an eye. Yesterday, everything was all right and now I am a homeless pregnant,w ho is waiting for the next strike of the faith.

And I was still alive.

Still.