Arthur was surprised when he finally reached the tower. On his journey there, his mind had thought up many different terrible situations involving lots of blood. But when he reached the tower there was nothing of the sort. No blood, no broken bones, no terrifying images. Just Merlin curled up into himself leaning against the wall. Arthur called his Merlin's name a few times but there was no response from him.

Arthur slowly approached him and sat down beside him against the wall. Merlin had still made no indication that he had noticed Arthur's presence so he gently placed his hand on Merlin's shoulder. Merlin jumped at this but didn't make any move to look at Arthur.

By now Arthur had noticed the constant mantra that Merlin was almost desperately repeating

"monster, monster, monster, monster"

Over and over again, just as Guinevere had described.

"Merlin, talk to me, please"

Arthur didn't really know what he was doing, he had never been good with these kinds of things, but it did seem to affect Merlin this time. Merlin stopped his mantra and turned his head slightly towards Arthur. Arthur was glad to see that he had gotten though to Merlin but now he had absolutely no idea what to say. The two sat there in silence for a few minutes until Merlin broke it with a whispered question.

"Do you think I'm a monster, Arthur?"

To say Arthur was shocked would be an understatement, how could kind, caring Merlin think he's a monster? It just didn't make sense, Merlin thinks hunting is cruel for goodness sake.

"Why would you think that Merlin? Did someone-"

"No" Merlin interrupted.

Arthur waited a few moments so Merlin could continue but he remained silent.

"Why would you think that you're a..."

The thought was so ridiculous that he couldn't even make himself say it. Merlin suddenly whipped his head up to rest against the wall. A dull thud could be heard from where he had hit his head against the wall. Arthur wanted to check it in case he had cut his head on the rough stone but Merlin started to speak again.

"Why wouldn't I? Everyone around me dies!" Merlin had raised his voice for a quiet whisper to almost shouting, "Their lives are perfectly fine and then they meet be and BOOM!" he practically screamed just to quiet down again, "They're dead."

Arthur was just confused at this point, who had died? The only people he could thin, of that had been close to Merlin were Lancelot and his friend Will, but those had been ages ago and it's not like either of them could be considered Merlin's fault. Not in the slightest.

"I- I don't- I don't understand"

"Of course you don't" Merlin's voice had become cruel and almost accusing and if Arthur had been forced to admit it, he'd have to say that it scared him. Merlin continued

"The first time I killed I was only five years old. I was too young to understand what I was doing. All I knew was that Old Man Simmons was screaming at me and I was terrified."