Over the Rainbow
Part 2
It was one thing, Buffy thought, to look out for a mystical, Dawn-shaped key, the kind that came in handy if you wanted to unlock dimensions and set loose hell beasties on earth. But keeping track of her front door key? Not so easy. As she stood on the porch rummaging through her purse the smell of freshly ground coffee wafted out to her, and her mom's voice, bright and animated. Buffy couldn't catch the words, but she heard the note of laughter that followed, deep and throaty and distinctly male. Giles? Not unless Giles had picked up teleporting over in England. Realisation hit her, her throat suddenly dry.
She found her key at last and burst into the kitchen.
"What are you doing here?"
"I live here, duh." Dawn pouted at Buffy.
"Not you. Him."
"Buffy! Geoffrey knows he's welcome to drop by whenever he likes." Joyce looked at her daughter reproachfully. "Muffin?"
Buffy took the muffin automatically, trying to process all that was implied. Geoffrey comes here often. Mom and Geoffrey -
"Joyce, it's been a pleasure," - first name terms, Buffy registered, dully - "But I should get going. Which reminds me, I need to have a word with your eldest."
Buffy followed him reluctantly out into the hallway.
"What?" she hissed, "And why are you here?"
"You told me to come," Geoffrey replied, easily.
"I told you to meet me on patrol," Buffy snapped, "And to stay away from my family! I would have thought after that whole business when Dawn went missing - "
"She was hardly missing, Buffy. I was helping her make your mom a birthday card, that was all. And she promised she'd told you where she was - " He stopped, because the way she was looking at him un-nerved him, and it struck him that the quicker he got his over with, the easier it would be for both of them.
Buffy was clearly thinking along the same lines. "Just tell me what you came here to tell me."
He gestured to the battered DeSoto parked across the road. "I'll do better than tell you; I'll show you."
Buffy looked up at him warily. "I've seen the car before."
"Not the car. There's something I have to show you back at the crypt. I thought I might as well give you a lift, since I was passing by."
"You don't pass by; you - oh, never mind." She shrugged her shoulders in resignation. "Come on then."
The car journey back to Geoffrey's was a distinctly awkward one. His choice of music disturbed her – nursery rhymes seemed kind of odd for a grown man – not to mention his off-key humming. When they arrived at the crypt she was almost relieved.
"Have a seat," Geoffrey offered, as he started hunting through the stack of video tapes next to the TV.
Buffy set herself down on the couch, the niggling sense of discomfort she'd been feeling ever since she'd heard his voice in the kitchen earlier that afternoon growing by the minute.
"What are you doing?"
"I have something here I thought you'd appreciate; that's all. Ah, here it is."
He reached over for the remote, but Buffy grabbed it and held it away from him.
"What is this? The car ride, the movie, the sucking up to my mom? Is this a date?"
Geoffrey turned pale. "Are you…do you…want it to be?"
Buffy moved so sharply it was a miracle the couch didn't catch alight. "What? Are you out of your mind?"
Geoffrey took a deep breath. If it had to be said, he had a feeling it would best to take cover first. He began to reassemble his rather precarious video tower, aiming for something a little broader and with more full-frontal coverage.
Buffy glared at him. "Now what are you doing?"
"Health and safety. Just a precautionary measure."
He dug his heels into the floor, willing it to be over as quickly as possible.
"Buffy, listen. It's not so unusual. Two people, in the workplace: feelings develop..." He carried on quickly, sensing even from behind his video barricade a note of volcano-about-to-blow from the direction of the couch. "I understand, I do, but - we have to keep this strictly a business relationship."
He ducked down low behind the videos, bracing himself. She paused for what seemed an unbearably long moment before replying. "And this is, what, a business meeting? Complete with business movie?"
"That's right." He handed her the video tape, grateful for the chance to change the subject.
She turned it over, suspiciously. "And you had to bring me here? We have a VCR at home."
"I know, but this is – it's not something I wanted your mom to see."
"You disgust me."
"It's not like that!" Geoffrey protested.
Buffy looked at him long and hard. "Well I guess there's only one way to find out." She reached forward and put the tape into the machine, flicking the remote with the same kind of precision that Geoffrey had seen wipe out minor demon populations.
They both sat in silence as the clip started playing, Buffy looking less than impressed. Geoffrey reflected with no small measure of gratitude and relief on his lucky escape minutes earlier. Clearly her taste in quality viewing left something to be desired.
She turned to him. "So they're demons. Big deal."
"Rod, Jane and Freddy are demons?" Geoffrey was incredulous. "How can you tell?"
"It's obvious."
"Is it the scales?"
Buffy peered at the screen more closely. "They have scales?"
Geoffrey nodded, deadpan. "Yes, you know, scales." He cleared his throat. "Do-re-mi-fa- "
As the fine-tuning of slayer skills went, this Slayer had the withering look honed to perfection. Geoffrey withered.
Buffy elaborated, impatiently. "I do not have time for this. But since you ask, they're orange, they've obviously got some kind of immortality thing going for them, and then there's the ritual chanting - " She stopped, suddenly, every Slayer sense prickling as she became aware of the scene change that had unfolded in front of them. Geoffrey watched her reaction as she stared at the screen, transfixed.
"Is it...can it...is it - him? How? And...what happened to his hair?"
Geoffrey pulled out the photocopy she'd given him the day before. "I'd say this sketch was taken around the turn of the century, judging by the way he's dressed. It's why I didn't make the connection straight away."
Buffy stabbed a finger at the TV screen. "They are in danger. Unless they're like - his minions. That yellow one is kinda evil looking. "
"Zippy? He's not evil." Geoffrey looked across at her, defensively. "More quirky."
Buffy continued. "Minions or not, I have to go check it out. Do you know where exactly it is?"
"No." Geoffrey felt a rush of excitement at the surprise he had in store for her. "But I know how to get you there."
"You're good. Remind me to give you a raise."
"You don't pay me," Geoffrey pointed out.
"That's handy." She across at him in surprise as she realised he was holding a box out towards her. "What's this?"
"Take a look."
Buffy lifted the lid cautiously.
"Shiny." As she took out the pair of red shoes to examine them more closely, a thought struck her. "How did you know my size?" she asked warily, her head suddenly full of disturbing visions of pilfered underwear and shrines in the basement.
"I noticed last time you threw a shoe at my head. But as it happens they only come in this size. There's only one pair."
Ohmigod, one-off limited edition designer shoes. It so was a date.
Geoffrey looked at her curiously. "You know what they are, don't you?"
"Manolo Blahnik?" Buffy hazarded.
Geoffrey looked at her in exasperation. "OK, let's see, previous owners include the Wicked Witch of the East and a girl named Dorothy."
Buffy screwed up her face. "There've been previous owners? You gave me second-hand shoes?"
Geoffrey was starting to feel he was hitting his head against a brick wall. "Earth to Buffy, are we getting through here?" He gave in to a full-throttle flourish. "Madam, you have there in your hand one pair of genuine ruby slippers."
"The ruby slippers?"
"The very same."
"How did you get hold of these?"
"Ebay."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Well, that's great and everything, but I don't actually think I have anything they'll go with."
Geoffrey counted slowly to ten in his head. "Don't you see? They'll take you over the rainbow."
"That's not what they did in the film."
Oh, so now you've seen the film, thought Geoffrey waspishly, but he explained patiently, "They're guaranteed. Over the rainbow or your money back."
Buffy slowly unzipped her boots. "This had better work. If we end up in Munchkinland - "
"We?" Geoffrey hurried to put her right. "There's no way I'd get into those shoes. No, you're on your own for this one, Cinderella."
Buffy got to her feet. "Fine," she said, and without looking back at him she clicked her heels together three times.
To be continued...
