Well, I sure am proud of myself for this one. So I hope you are too.
Enjoy.
Chapter 2: Rising TEMPERature Equals Chaos
When Allen told Link of his plan or as he liked to call it, operation 'screw-the-rules-let's-party-hard-with-a-summer-bash', Link knew he was in deep shit. There were too many things that could go wrong with a less than slim chance of success.
First off, it required Allen to leave his room, which really wasn't much of a surprise in the blond's opinion but still very risky.
Second, it required Allen to borrow Link's keys, which was able to unlock any door in the Black Order one wishes to open. Link was a bit hesitant on that one, but Allen insisted that he'd need them to get the supplies that he had listed down. And frankly, it was a long list.
But it was the third requirement that almost made the blond faint by the mere thought of it.
Allen had to use the Ark.
Link would've refused right then and there, but then again, the boy's excuse was reasonable. In order to get outside without being noticed and without causing suspicion, using the Ark was not only the best way to go but the quickest way as well.
Yup, they are in really deep shit.
As the two were in their second room to gather supplies, Timcampy returned, along with a few of Allen's chosen helpers.
And Link could not believe who he had chosen for the job.
Meanwhile at the lounge…
After about five record cds, the group decided to have a break for a bit to rest their lungs from all the laughing.
It seemed like a good idea…only one problem.
IT'S STILL MOTHER F***IN HOT!
Yup.
And in no time they were back to square one.
Their mood only lessened when they found out by the radio forecast that the temperature had increased by five degrees.
Said device's life was cut short by Mugen.
Now if only Kanda can do the same thing to that blasted Sun all the suffering would end.
But that would take a miracle.
In space…
Earth: Hey Sun, what's the matter?
Sun: I'm getting some strange bloody murder vibes coming in your direction.
Earth: Oh that. It's the humans, probably those dealing with summer. You are producing more heat waves than usual this time of year.
Anonymous: Those pawns are lucky! At least they have water and life on their planet!
Earth: Hey! No one's talking to you Mercury! Stupid solar system. They're jealous I swear.
Sun: I know right?
Earth: So…where was I?
Sun: The part where humans in the summer season are hating me because of the massive heat I'm emitting?
Earth: Oh yeah…so…yeah, that's pretty much it.
Sun: Pfft, wimps. Hey, how hot is it over there anyway since they're complaining so much?
Earth: About 113 degrees. It was risen by five not too long ago.
Sun: Hehe, that's not nearly as hot as me. (AN: Notice the pun!)
Earth: No it isn't.
Sun: Well all I can say to those pesky humans is to blame it on the fever.
Earth: Oh you're sick?
Sun: Naw could be worse.
Earth: …
Sun: …yeah. Best not to think about it too much.
Ooookaaay…uh, back to the exorcists!
Lavi never felt so bored and hot at the same time and it was driving him nuts.
His previous plan had worked like he had hoped it would but only for a given amount of time.
He has lost to Mother Nature again.
But he won't give up. He had to do something. Anything.
Then, like a light bulb, an idea lit up.
He found the perfect way to distract himself and everyone else from the heat. The idea that Lavi was thinking of came from a TV show he watched.
Perfect.
With a sly grin, he waltzed over to his first target.
"Psst. Timothy-chan."
Said nine-year-old was sitting on the floor playing with his action figures when he heard someone call his name. He looked up to meet the redhead.
"Yeah Lavi nii-san?"
"Wanna see something funny?"
Timothy thought a minute. When it came to Lavi and his schemes it always ended with the redhead getting in trouble, beaten up, or both. Even so, the outcome was always hilarious and the boy could use some more humor. With that, the boy nodded.
Lavi's grin widened.
"Good. But, I'm gonna need your help. On my signal I want you to play this record."
Lavi handed him the record cover with the record cd inside, which the boy took without question.
"Got it?"
Timothy glanced at the record cover, then back up at Lavi smiling and saluted.
"Sir yes sir!"
"Atta boy!" Lavi said as he ruffled his hair. "Now go get ready and remember, on my signal."
"Got it!" the boy saluted again wandered off to fulfill his given assignment.
'Hehee. Phase one complete.' Lavi's invisible bunny ears perked up in amusement as he moved to his next target. 'And now for phase two…' He flopped on the couch next to his supposed target.
Let the fun begin.
"Greetings Yu-chan!"
In less than a second the tip of a certain sword was met with his throat.
"Go away Baka Usagi," Kanda growled with obvious fury. The Sun had already soured his mood. He did not want Lavi or anything else to make it worse. "And don't call me by my first name!"
"Oh come one Yu-chan, that's no way to start a conversation," Lavi said as he gently pushed Mugen aside with his fingertip.
The samurai made his usual 'che' sound and unsheathed his sword. "Why would I want to waste my time starting a conversation with you?"
"Would it be better if it was Moyashi-chan?"
"That's even worse."
"Heehee~ so cold Yu-chan."
Kanda growled and was about to threaten the redhead about the use of his first name but stopped when Lavi's expression changed. It was unreadable, between thoughtful and close to seriousness.
"You know, I can't help but feel that something's bothering me. Something big too…"
Kanda said nothing as Lavi began ponder on what he had to remember.
"Oh yeah! It was news!"
The raven haired raised a brow. "News?"
"Yeah, big news! It has been going around like rapid fire lately and hasn't died down since!"
"What the hell are you talking about Lavi?!"
Gotcha…
Lavi gave Kanda a disbelieving look as if he had grown a second head.
"You mean you haven't heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard."
"Heard what?"
Those where the magic words he had been waiting for, and without wasting a second, he jumped off the couch and pointed to Timothy.
"HIT IT!"
And before Kanda and the other exorcists knew it, the sound of music was playing.
A-well-a everybody's
Heard about the bird
And Lavi's master plan was now put to action as he was now sing and dancing to the lyrics.
Bird, bird, bird
B-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird
Bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird
Well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird
B-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird
Well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird
B-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird
B-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird
Well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird
B-bird's the word
Lavi pointed to Kanda trying not to crack up at his stunned face.
"Yu! Don't you know about the bird?"
He put his arm around the raven haired exorcist before he could react and pointed his finger to his chest and chanted "Well Lavi's gonna tell you about the bird!"
And the redhead resumed back to dancing and singing.
You can just picture it. Lavi, in nothing but his shorts, barefooted(well everyone is), dancing and singing to Surfin' Bird. One would have thought he was on crack.
Timothy, who was sitting beside the record player, was rolling around laughing his head off like a little hyena.
The others couldn't help but laugh as well. Krory ended up like Timothy on the floor laughing, Lenalee and Miranda were giggling like maniacs, Marie tried to suppress his, and Bookman just shook his head at his apprentice's foolishness.
As for Kanda…well, his expression can be described with one word.
Annoyed.
His eye constantly twitched as he watched the object if his growing stress and aggression. His hands were just centimeters away from Mugen, getting closer by the second. He doesn't know if it was either the song or the redhead himself and he doesn't care. He's just itching for something to cut.
Any second now and he'd snap.
But then, all thoughts of attempting murder vanished just as fast as it came, because what he was seeing before him brought him and everyone else in the room upmost confusion.
Lavi, who was before dancing around like an idiot…now looked like he was having a stroke. And before anyone could comprehend the situation, he was already on the floor. Motionless.
The room was silent. Everyone was too shocked to say or do anything.
Everyone except for Bookman. He was the one who lent Lavi those records after all.
He knew what's gonna happen next.
Any time now that boy's gonna…
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa
Ooma-mow-mow
Papa-oomow-mow-mow
Everyone flinched as Lavi all of a sudden jumped back on his feet and continued dancing/singing.
Pa-pa-pa
Ooma-mow-mow
Papa-oomow-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-oomow-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow
Papa-oomow-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-oomow-mow-mow
In no time, Timothy was back on the floor laughing and having the time of his childhood life. Some laughed along with him, but most were just relieved that Lavi was okay. Whereas, Bookman did a facepalm, regretting the day he lent those records to his apprentice.
And Kanda….
Let's just say he really did snap.
Forget the Sun.
The rabbit dies first.
And from there, all hell broke loose.
Meanwhile…
"Mr. Walker…"
"Huh? Yes Link-san?"
"You do understand that this goes against all rules given to the Black Order. If Rouvelier finds out what we're up to it could result to dreadful punishment such as me losing my job and you a possible execution order."
Allen jumped in shock, almost dropping the tower of boxes he was carrying.
"Geez…all that for throwing a party? And I thought the Millennium Earl was evil…"
"This is serious Walker! And also…"
The blond's brow twitched.
"How in heaven's bloody name did you get The Generals involved?!"
"We're right here you know," Cross muttered.
Yes, Allen's chosen helpers happen to be The Generals themselves. Who knew?
They were trailing behind the two carrying their own share of boxes as they strolled through the halls inside the Ark.
"It wasn't hard," Allen shrugged. "I just figured that they didn't want to be stuck in the building in this heat as much as I did. Just never thought they would actually agree."
"And just what the hell did you think we'd say kid?!" yelled Sokaro carrying the heaviest loads. "That we'd rather fuckin' stay in The Order and bake our asses off? To hell with that! I'd rather have this party and face the consequences later!"
"I'd have to agree to that," says Klaud. Her monkey Lau Shimin screeched in agreement.
"Also, I think this activity is a splendid idea," Tiedoll said in his usual cheerful calmness. "Perfect for the seasonal occasion."
"Have you all gone mad?!" Link tried to snap some sense into these people. "Have you not considered the punishments any of you may face?"
"Oh would you stop bunching your panties in a tight knot blondie?" taunted Cross, ignoring the heated glare coming from the said blond. "It can't be worse than dealing with a hoard of level three and level four Akuma. Besides, we may be exorcists but we're also human. Even we Generals need a break once in a while."
"B-but…"
"Don't worry, we won't get caught," Allen assured Link, smiling. Soon that smile turned into a demonic grin. "Besides, I also sent Timcampy to ask Komui-san to find a way to distract Rouvelier. He should be at it any minute now."
Everyone paused in silence. Nothing but the sound of their tapping shoes was heard.
'This kid…to think he's really on our side.' Link thought, starring at the white haired kid in front of him. 'General Cross must really be a bad influence.' (AN: You think?)
The ongoing silence was soon interrupted by Cross.
"Hey, idiot disciple, there will be booze in this party of yours, right?"
Allen's scarred eye twitched at the nickname and the mention of liquor. 'Somehow I knew he would bring that up…'
"Jerry-san is taking care of that along with the food," Allen tried to maintain his posture and calmness. "You will have all the booze you like after you help me set up the party Shishou."
Cross grinned. "So you really did have everything planned. I'm impressed. Good. And it better not be those cheap ones either."
At this, the boy felt his blood boil. 'Stupid adults and their alcohol! I hope I never turn out like that! Ever!'
Allen stopped his inner rant when he realized they finally arrived to the door he chose to be their 'party place'.
"This is it," he said as he opened the door and stepped outside. The others followed suit, but as they did, they stopped their tracks gazing at the scene before them.
"This…is where you plan on having it?" Klaud broke the silence, still too awestruck to move.
"Yup," Allen wasn't fazed as he set the boxes down on the grass and turned to the adults, smile gleaming in the sunlight and silver eyes shining like crystals. The golden golem on his head flapped its wings with excitement.
"Well, let's get started!"
This boy…is a mad genius.
Let's check back to the lounge shall we…
Chaoji was practically skipping down the halls of the Black Order off to meet his friends who were said to be at the lounge.
Now you may be wondering, why is this fellow exorcist is in such a good mood despite the horrendous weather everyone was facing?
Well, this fella was happy for two reasons.
One: The Order is having a lot less missions than the amount they usually have giving him and the other exorcists more free time than ever.
Two: The heat really doesn't bother him. Compared to the high temperatures he had to go through back when he was at sea with Captain Anita, this was a breeze to him.
Lucky bastard…
When he was finally at the front doors to the lounge, he busted them open and said his cheerful greeting.
"GOOD AFTERNOON EVERY…one?"
What he saw was a mess. Tables were flipped and broken beyond repair, couches were ripped to shreds, papers and books lay messily on the floor, walls and windows were smashed, vases, glass and clay, were also smashed, even the poor chandelier had had been ripped from the ceiling, fell, and crumbled to the ground in tiny pieces.
It. Was. A. Mess.
And right smack in the center of it all, were our dear exorcists.
Lenalee was comforting a frightened Miranda who sat huddled in a corner on a verge of tears.
Timothy and Bookman where somewhere in a safe distance, the boy still laughing while the old man next to him sighed.
Lavi was on his knees hugging his precious record player protectively to his chest and away from the object of destruction.
And Krory and Marie were busy trying to restrain an enraged Kanda, Yu.
Chaoji could only stand there dumbstruck at the scene before him.
"I swear to god Lavi if you play that song one more time, you AND your record player will be asking for a funeral!" roared Kanda trying to free his bounds from the two bodies holding him back.
Lavi, shivering from head to toe, choked out a small laugh. "C-come one Yu-chan, The Trashmen is said to be a big hit in the early 1900's."
"Don't add more fuel to the fire Lavi," warned Bookman. "He's already caused this much damage. I wouldn't be surprised if he's serious with his words."
"Um…" Chaoji was really at a loss of words. He was debating whether to stay and help out or go as if nothing happened, because he really feels out of place right now since he chose to come at the wrong time.
Then, out of nowhere, he saw Timcampy flutter next to him. Said golem was about to enter the lounge when it too stopped at the chaos before it. It hovered there silent for a bit until it turned to Chaoji as if expecting an answer.
"I just got here," the exorcist explained scratching the back of his head. "Even I don't know what's going on."
Timcampy did what appeared to be a sigh and flew into the action. Before Chaoji could even think of what the golem was up to, it flew high above the room where everyone could see it and, with its' wing to its' mouth, did a high pitched whistle.
Everyone stopped, as if someone had pressed the pause button, and all eyes were now shifted to the golem.
"T-Timcampy?"
"What's Allen's golem doing here?"
When it seems it has gotten everyone's attention, it flew and landed on a not-so-damaged part of the couch and urged everyone to come forward with its wings.
Lavi blinked a few times. "…I think it wants to tell us something."
"I wonder what it could be," Krory thought out loud.
"Probably something stupid from the Moyashi," Kanda didn't care what the Moyashi wanted. He had enough to deal with.
At this, Timcampy snarled its' teeth at Kanda along with a few chomps as if daring him to say anything else about its' master. Said exorcist's eyes twitched at the action.
"Let's just hear what it has to say Kanda," Marie tried to calm his childhood friend down placing a hand on his shoulder. "It might be important."
"Che."
So, all the exorcists gathered around the golden golem. Once they did, Timcampy opened its mouth to reveal a video recording.
Wazzup guys! Allen Walker here!
And there Allen was outside the Black Order.
Wait.
Outside!?
And what in devil's name is he wearing?
In the screen, Allen was in a white tourist shirt with red floral designs, a straw hat, an orange floral necklace, holding a coconut cup with a straw and a pink mini umbrella. The whole group watched as he took a sip from his cup.
As you all can see, I am outside. Why? I'll let you in on a little secret.
There was that demonic grin on his face that always meant trouble but always got away with. He leaned close and spoke in a whisper.
I'm planning a summer party outside The Order.
"Wait, did he just say party?" Lavi wanted to know if his ears had heard right. So was everyone else.
Half of the stuff is set but there are still some major ones that need to be put up. That's why I need your help. I already got The Generals to help out plus Link, Jerry's fixing the buffet, and Komui-san is distracting Rouvelier.
Oi, Allen.
They saw Froi Tiedoll at the far left side of the screen carrying what looked like colorful tubes and floaties.
Where do you want these?
Next to the swimming pool over there. Once the water fills up, then you can put them in.
"Did he say swimming pool?!" asked Lenalee. She had been dying to dip her feet in something cool since.
After giving the instructions, Allen went back to sipping his coconut.
So…where was I? Oh, the message! So yeah, just follow Timcampy and he'll lead you through the Ark to our location. Don't forget to bring some swimwear, beach balls, anything for the occasion. Well, gotta go. I need to go help Link with the waterslide. I'm Allen Walker and I approve this message!
And the video ended.
"Did he just say waterslide?!" squealed Timothy.
"To think he got all those people involved," Bookman muttered. "Including Link."
"And The Generals…" added Krory.
"Even Nii-san…" added Lenalee.
"So…" Chaoji pondered the situation. "Should we go?"
"I don't see why not," shrugged Lavi. "Sure beats staying hear. Plus he has a goddamned pool and a goddamned waterslide!"
"B-but wouldn't we get in trouble for sure?" Miranda studdered, clearly not wanting to face punishment.
"As far as I'm concerned, Link, The Generals, Komui, and Jerry don't seem bothered by the idea," said Marie. "They must be as desperate as us."
"I wanna go! I wanna go!" yelled Timothy, flailing his arms. "I'm sick of staying in this hot building!"
"Okay, all in favor of helping Allen-kun set up the party despite the fact of facing the consequences later, raise your hand," announced Lenalee.
And, no surprisingly, all the excorsits raised their hand, even Bookman.
All except for Kanda.
"Huh? You're not going Yu-chan?" Lavi asked, a bit surprised at this. However, this is Kanda Yu.
"Che. There's no way I'm gonna be in any part of Moyashi's schemes. I'd rather bake to a crisp."
Of course. That just had to be the reason.
Stupid pride.
Stupid rivalry.
But it seems as if Timcampy knew this sort of thing was going to happen, because its' sharp-tooth grin appeared on its' face, painfully noticeable to everyone in the room. And the grin was pointed directly at the raven haired samurai himself. And Kanda didn't like it one bit.
Kanda was ready to sheath Mugen in case the beansprout's golem might try something. It's happened before and he can't say he was proud of it.
The damned thing was only the size of a tennis ball and yet it could inflict bites all over his body that hurt like hell and whenever he tried to fight back with his katana, the little snitch was quick to dodge. What's worse, even if he was able to get to the little bugger, say, slice it in half, the golem always, ALWAYS comes back to life, without a scratch on it. And every time it does he could've sworn it was laughing straight in his face.
It was the toughest opponent Kanda Yu, the great and powerful exorcist, ever faced.
It was so sad it was shameful.
Timcampy opened its' mouth but, thank the heavens, didn't do anything to hurt the man's pride more than it should.
And instead, showed another video.
And there was Allen again, in the same appearance, but without the coconut.
If this message is playing then that means the BaKanda has refused my offer.
All eyes that were once on video now shifted their gaze to Kanda.
In all honesty, I would've been more than happy if Kanda hadn't made his appearance at all in my party.
Kanda didn't know how many times his eye twitched in the past few hours, but it was starting to become a habit.
However, because of my good will as a gentleman I, Allen Walker, simply cannot allow this. So…
Enter Demonic Allen.
I think a little 'convincing' is in order.
Kanda scoffed. That's it? Does the beansprout really think he can just…wait. What's that he's holding?
Oh. No. He. The. Fuck. Didn't.
It doesn't take a genius to know you like soba Kanda. In fact, it's the only thing you ever eat.
Allen took a slurp of the said noodles.
Well I'm happy to say that Jerry has made plenty of soba for my party.
The boy giggled darkly. Kanda knew it meant bad news…for him.
So much that there won't be any in stock at dinnertime for those who choose not to attend.
A vein poped.
Oh, and the green tea.
And another one. The boy really knows how to push his buttons.
My offer is still open BaKanda. See ya! Wouldn't wanana be ya!
The video ended. No one knew what to say. At least, they were afraid to. Except for Timcampy who seemed rather pleased at the man's reaction. An aura around him so dark it could probably suffocate a person if one got too close.
Kanda was pissed, beyond pissed. He was so pissed we would have to invent a word that would describe all of what he's feeling at once. And that would take ages.
He had never felt fury combined with the deep feeling of bloodlust so high, he feared he might die of high blood pressure. And to think it's all because of that idiot Moyashi.
But one thing is clearly certain.
He'll go. Oh yes, he'll go.
But it won't be because of the party, or the soba, or even the green tea. Oh no. He will go for a different reason.
There is a grave requested for burial.
And it's got Allen Walker's name on it.
I always wanted to know how Kanda would react listening to Surfin' Bird by The Trashmen.
I'm glad I did.
Even though I had to risk Lavi's life in the process.
And I think I have found the number one most hated song on Kanda's list. So my advice to you all, if you happen to be playing music in front of the no-so-happy exorcist, do not, I mean DO NOT play Surfin' Bird! That is all.
Review Please!
