Hello! These are my stories, "Collections of thoughts.

*Summary- The what ifs of Harry Potter. The secret yearnings. The private dreams. The hidden feelings. The forgotten characters. The other sides. The missing pieces. The manipulations. The Contemplations, mopes, memories, revelations, discoveries, and Realizations from the lost people of the Magical world.

Remember, I'm Pretty much MAD; so expect the very craziest of story lines.

*AN: Random Drabbles and Babbles. I've had many-cluttered Harry Potter one shots and have decided to empty my mind to be read by you Harry Potter fans. Hope you enjoy and interpret what you will. Review me your thoughts of my thoughts. :) I will be so happy with even an "I like this story!" It'll make my day…don't you want to make my day?

*Rating: M for various descriptions of pain, violence, anger, and sadness. Later chapters of happiness may include sexual situations.

Disclaimer: Really? Don't they know how painful it is to write these words? Do they like to taunt me? Ugh. I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own ideas original work of the brilliant JK or the makers of the beautiful Harry Potter films. I do not own any of the fantastic characters, nor do I own plot from the original text. I am not making any money off this work. I am poor and talent less with a slow imagination. I will never make it as a writer and must satisfy myself by posting on a Fanfiction site. Just spit in my face why don't you.


-The abandoned Weirdo-

Different. What kind of a word was that anyway? Different?
She often wondered in times like these- snuggled deep in her feather comforter preparing herself to be made fun of by those she didn't give a damn about and ignored by those she cared about- why being 'different' was such a bad thing as everyone often pointed out to her. She squeezed her eyes shut tighter as the many voices, faded with memory, echoed through her head- You are so different, unusual, strange. Why are you so weird? Oh, look, it's her! She's loony, wacko, odd, queer, silly, and stupid. Stay away from her! She is so freaky. All had been used to describe her. And again she wondered; what about being different was so bad?
Of course, just because she wondered why doesn't mean she hadn't like it, that she hadn't thrived on it. Being different was her wall. Her barrier. Her protection and defense. It kept her safe.
She could do whatever she wanted, say whatever she wanted and nobody would look at her twice because that's just the way she was. Different. Nobody ever had high expectations of her and therefor she never dissapointed anyone...except herself.
Sure, the wall of her unusualness kept out friendly companionship as well as anyone who could hurt her. But she has always thought it was worth it. Thought.
Becoming a part of 'Dumbledore's army' was the turning point in her life. She had friends, friends who cared about her despite her weirdness. Her walls crumpled and she was able to inspect herself without the barrier for the first time in years. And she found a lonely girl who had just as many odd quirks as the girl inside the wall. She let herself go and grow to be so much more than she had ever expected herself to be.
And it was loony. Truly loony. Not loony like wackspurts, nargles, blibbering humdingers, gulping plimpies, umgubular slashkilters, heliopaths, and moon frogs but loony like stupid. Because it was stupid. Stupid to let herself fall into something that wasn't ever really going anywhere.
She got up, turning her alarm off with a twitch of the wrist. She slowly got ready, putting on in her robes. She didn't bother searching for her shoes- she knew they wouldn't be there. She then picked up her bag and then glanced at herself in the mirror.
Her brownish blonde curls fell to her elbows. Radish earrings hung next to her pale face and behind her ears her wand was stored. Around her neck a butterbeer cork necklace lay. Her face held the blank, dreamily distant look she'd worn for years but her silver-gray eyes were strained and sad. Lonely. Abandoned. Forgotten. Used. She sighed. It really had been stupid, letting her guard down like that.
'Cause when it came down to it, after everything was said and done, when the bruises and cuts and nightmares of their battle at the Ministry of Magic had finally faded, Luna Lovegood was still just a pawn in Harry Potter and He-who-must-not-be-name's war.


-Longing to utter from sneering lips-

He walked briskly his dark hair swaying in time with his pace ignoring the annoying small girl next to him who insisted on following him like a lost puppy.

"Why are you even going? He's your family sort of why should you kill him?" She hissed.

That made him stop short and his short mood turned livid at the girls intruding question.

"I did not invite you, you wished to come. I do not need to explain anything to you. " His harsh words hurt the shadow-like witch who winced. But her pain was lost on the dark haired boy- he had no concept of caring about other people's feelings. Besides, he didn't particularly care that she was here. It was nice to already have followers. At the very least, should he be caught, he could say the girl had cursed him, kiddnapped him, and forced him to kill the strange man. Her reputation was a lot worse than his and he knew without a doubt he could convince anyone he was innocent. He smirked as he thought of his handsome face. Let's just call it a perk.

They arrived at his destination. He briskly strolled to the door that had a snake nailed to it. Tacky. He thought as he knocked.

A bloke opened the door,

"And your name is?" The handsome boy glared up at the inquiring man with faded eyes in raggedy gray clothes that hung loose on his thin frame. He didn't need to answer this pathetic scum who dared to be considered a 'man', who was the root responsible for his life of misery.

Misery that made him who he was today. Misery that prevented him from saying his nasty name.

Besides the words tasted bad in his mouth for his name was a name as common as dirt. He was above such trivial things as birth-names by birth parents that were no more than weak failures.

He longed for the day when his answer would be different- when the triumphant words 'Lord Voldemort' could be uttered from his sneering lips, sneering lips that looked straight into his grandfathers eyes and said, barely more than a whisper, "Avada Kedavra".



-The moment of yellow he gave in all of the gray-

She'd known she'd wanted to stay and fight by Harry Potter's side since she was twelve years old.
But now, five years later while lying on the dusty dirty floor, the realization of her decision finally hit her- she was fighting, against a far more powerful force. She had no home. People were out to get her and her friends, maybe even her family. She was on the run, on the run on a goose's chase. And she was scared.
Finally, six years of stress, hit her in one violent burst of an overwhelming wave.
She had prepared, studied and worked for this very time. But suddenly she wasn't thinking about all that she knew but all that she didn't.
She thought back to the Hogwarts library where she had been collecting books that she thought had information they'd need. Then she remembered there was one book she had put back as an afterthought. Now, remembering, she panicked. What if that was the book? The book with vital information? That book she should have gotten because it was the book that could save their lives.
Then she started remembering her Hogwarts days. The long brick hallways with endless possibilities. The warm, cozy classrooms that smelled like knowledge. The cheerful, historical, paintings lining the walls. The sweet and earthy smell of the green grounds. The way the sun would shine through the canopy of her four-poster every morning. The crackling fire in the homey red and golden common room. Everything there was so yellow...so warm. Here everything was gray and cold.
She thought of her friends and teachers. The mouth-watering smell of the Great Hall at mealtime. The look of blank white parchment just waiting to be filled with sharp black words of wisdom.
She thought of those who'd already been lost. She thought of those to come.
She hated this. She needed a plan. She needed a strategy written out in front of her. She needed it to be clever, logical, organized, practical and most of all she needed it work against this impossible enemy.
She tried to hold the choked sob in but it burst out.
Next to her, the red-headed boy heard it. It was a strangled, pitiful, terrified, mourning sound that exactly expressed what he was feeing.
Ron reached out through the dark and took Hermione's hand in his. And for a moment, everything was all right. Worries, fears, and grieving were forgotten as pale fingers intertwined pale fingers.
They weren't sure of the future, but it didn't matter because they were sure of the present. And at that present they had each other and for one night everything was better.
They fell asleep like that, where the next morning Harry Potter would wake up and lonelily-wonder if they had been holding hands.


I reeeeeeeally hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them. I went so out of character with the first one (though I suppose it'd possible for Luna to have felt like that), that I decided to be ridiculously in character with the last two. I hope I did okay and as always review!