3 Months Later
EPOV
"If you aren't here to tell me you finally see Bella, which you aren't, I don't want to hear it." I said to Alice as she silently appeared at the door to my room.
"Carlisle wants to talk to you." She said simply.
I sighed. I stood and stalked out of my room and into Carlisle's office.
"I needed to ask you something." Carlisle said as he put away the book he'd been skimming through.
"I know," I said. I picked his reason out of his head. "The Volturi have invited us to Italy. You want to know if I'll be going with you."
"Will you?" he asked. He really wanted me to. He hoped it would help me be less depressed.
I sighed. "It won't, but I'll go."
He smiled sadly. "Thank you."
I didn't respond.
Arriving in Voltera, we were greeted by one of the Volturi guards, who brought us into a huge, castle-like building. The entrance hall looked normal enough, but we were brought down an elevator and into a large room that was made of old stones and had the smell of blood stained into every inch of it.
"Carlisle! My dear friend!" The man I knew to be Aro greeted my father. He approached him and pulled him into a hug, before hold up his arm as if to shake hands.
"How have you been?" he asked, prompting his hand forward, as if the formal greeting would answer such a question.
Carlisle took his hand, and for a moment, Aro went into a state not unlike Alice's when she was having a vision. It took me until the moment that I saw Carlisle's memories racing through Aro's thoughts to remember Aro's mind reading gift. After a long moment, they let go.
"It's so very nice to see that things have been going well for you." He said sincerely.
Carlisle was about to return the compliment, when a man with long dark hair, who I could hear from his mind was a tracker, said, "Jane is back in the city, and Heidi will arrive in an hour with the banquet." His mind went off to think about the busload of people coming for the Volturi's feast. It was disgusting, I tried to focus on someone else's thought, but now they were all thinking about the humans whose lives were about to be lost. I knew I would have to leave; I hadn't hunted in four weeks, and that much spilt human blood would be hard to ignore. It would be painful, though. I deserved much more pain than the dull burning that resided in my throat now. My thoughts were cut off as two cloaked figures entered the room. One was as short as Alice, and the other as tall as-
The other one was taller.
They walked right past us, not even glancing at us, though I knew they'd seen us. Something about them had Jasper confused, but I was too focused on the taller of the new arrivals to really hear what it was.
The way she moved, the way she stood when she stopped in front of Aro, The way her dark cloak hung, only hinting at the slender figure beneath it.
"Ah, Jane, Bella, welcome back."
No. No, no, no! It wasn't possible!
"Glad to be back." Her voice, completely different yet exactly the same, sang. I struggled to stay standing upright. I vaguely noticed my family's surprised thoughts joining my own.
"How did your mission go? Did you dispose of the problem?" he asked suggestively. He'd sent Bella to kill someone. I held myself in place tighter.
"No." Jane's voice shrieked resentfully. "Little miss goody-goody here wouldn't do it!" She spoke accusingly, like not killing someone was a crime that needed punishment.
"We do not offer second chances." Aro reminded her sternly.
"Please, Aro, understand. This is not a second chance; he never did anything to his first." Bella's voice almost pleaded.
"Please do explain." Aro said in a curious tone as he stretched his arm out. Bella approached him, taking down her hood as she did.
God, she was beautiful!
Aro placed his hand on her cheek, filling me with unexplainable rage and jealousy. He could touch her, he could read her mind; both things I could not. I listened for the flood of memories, but for a long moment none came.
"Bella?" Aro asked.
"I'm sorry," she started solemnly, "I'm trying, really I am. But I thought, why not practice selectivity while I can. There's no need for anyone else to see what happened."
She was talking about me.
"Brilliant!" Aro praised. "Please, please, go right ahead." He urged.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her entire body became rigid with concentration. Aro smiled.
"Brilliant!" Aro said again as he lowered his hand from her face. "Absolutely brilliant!"
"Thank you." Bella said in a delighted voice. I knew that tone. She was pleased with herself.
"Now, back to the matter at hand," he started. "That was a powerful vampire you let go free."
"He didn't do anything, though. It was his creator who was causing all the problems. He was innocent." She took a deep breath. "I won't kill an innocent creature." She said.
Jane was staring at Bella with an angry expression.
"Jane, will you please stop trying to torture me!" she said in an irritated tone. Jane looked away like a child who was caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "I can feel it, you know." She stated simply. "I can feel you, too, Jasper." She said, without even glancing at him. Confusion hit again. Mine along with the rest of my family's.
"Sorry." Jasper said slightly embarrassed and guilty. I looked over to him, silently questioning what Bella was talking about. I'll explain later. His mental voice promised.
Aro sighed. "I guess he hadn't done anything wrong…" Aro mused. "Besides, perhaps we could get him to join in the future. The things a mental projector could do were he working for us."
Jane huffed. This mental projector had tricked her into fighting a mirage. "I don't like him."
Ah, dear Jane, don't be put off. He could have done the same to any of us." He said soothingly. "Almost any of us." He quickly amended as he glanced at Bella.
Jane sighed in admittance, though she was still upset.
"Don't worry." He started again. "Heidi will be here soon. That will cheer you up."
Jane smiled.
"How soon?" Bella demanded urgently. It hadn't even crossed my mind until now. Was Bella a vegetarian?
"About an hour." Aro answered.
"Fourty-seven minutes." Alice corrected.
"Less than an hour, then." Aro said with an amused laugh.
Bella released the tense breath she was holding. "Perfect." She said simply. I never would have guessed that Bella would ever hurt anyone. It was even painful, to think that this was what she had been reduced to. "I'll see you in two."
She turned on her heel, her dark cloak flowing like water behind her, and glided out of the room. I saw as she walked past me, her eyes, still very red with being a newborn, were only just beginning to turn gold.
She was a vegetarian. I should've known. I hated myself for even entertaining the thought that Bella, perfect, loving, caring Bella, would ever kill an innocent person.
"Have fun with your animals." Jane called teasingly after her.
"I will." She promised. She stopped walking half way down the hall and sighed. "Please, Jasper." She pleaded with exasperation in her voice.
"Sorry." He sounded truly guilty this time.
"Thank you." She said as she continued walking down the hall and through a large door.
"Demetri, please show the Cullens to the library." Aro said, knowing we wouldn't want to be around when Heidi did get here. A vampire led us down the same hallway Bella had just left through, and much to my discontent, turn right where she'd turned left. He led us into an enormous library, then left, anxious to feast, though leaving soon wouldn't hasten Heidi's return. They were all staring at me, I could hear them wondering how I was holding up in their minds, and I tried to ignore them.
"Why was she asking you to stop?" I said, turning minutely to Jasper.
"I was trying to see how she was feeling." He explained.
"You couldn't?" Carisle asked. Jasper shook his head. "Maybe she can keep out more than just Edward now." He mused.
"That's probably why I couldn't see her all this time." Alice said. "Maybe nobody can see her now."
"Aro could read her mind." I reminded them.
"And I couldn't not feel her…" Jasper started uneasily. We all looked at him questioningly. "When she first walked in, she saw us, and she was surprised, then all emotion vanished." He explained.
"So she didn't care that we were here?" Rosalie asked.
"No, I can feel indifference. This was nothing. Not the not-caring nothing, not the depressed nothing, but nothing. It was like she wasn't even there."
"I wasn't feeling nothing." Bella's voice rang from the doorway. I hadn't even noticed she was there, and judging by everyone else's reactions, neither did they. "Sorry to sneak up on you, I forgot to grab a book on my way out." She sighed. "I was blocking you, Jasper." She explained. "It's good practice. I've been blocking Alice for months now." She shot Alice an apologetic glance. "Sorry. I wouldn't have if I'd known you were actually looking for me."
"But why would you block us?" Jasper asked.
She was thoughtful for a moment, before sighing "Practice." She moved into the room with incredible grace, even for a vampire, and her cloak undulating behind her. She began to scan the bookshelves. "Almost everyone here I block naturally; there's no effort behind it. Then there's you and Alice, who I have to try to keep out constantly. It's good practice, and God knows I need it."
"Practice?" Carlisle asked. "Practice for what?"
"Oh, um, nothing really." She said uneasily. "Just needing to get a handle on my powers in general, you know. I'm on the guard; I'm no use to them if I can only protect myself." She went back to perusing the bookshelf.
"How have you been, darling?" Esme asked her. She had always worried about Bella.
"Oh, you know, blood-thirsty." She joked, trying to keep a light tone. She sighed. "But really, fine, I guess. I can find solace in the fact that Charlie would be proud that I'm upholding the 'law', though I don't know how he would feel about working under murderers for all intents and purposes. And well," she looked down sheepishly. She would be blushing if she was human, and it brought a whole new wave of emotion to me. "I always at least hoped, Carlisle, that you would be proud of me for abstaining from human blood, especially in a place where it's so excepted." She sighed. "I know, it's silly for me to be thinking about things like that, but my mind has had a lot of time to wander…"
"I am proud of you." Carlisle said assuringly, as he put his hand on her shoulder sympathetically.
"Thank you." She said with a soft smile. She turned back to the bookshelf, and finally pulled down a copy of The Old Man and the Sea. She sighed again as she ran the pages through her fingers. "It's horrible," she started solemnly, "to be so close to everything you ever wanted," she looked up at me, staring into my eyes for the first time since I'd left her in November, "and know that you can never have it." Her gaze dropped down back to her book as she opened it to the first page. She glided out of the room, leaving me breathless and motionless.
It was a long, tense moment in the room after she left. There was no question of the meaning behind her words.
When I'd first realized that Bella truly was one of us, I first loathed myself for letting something like this happen to her, but soon after, I couldn't stop myself from being ecstatic. Now that Bella was a vampire, there was a chance that we could be together. Not now, not while she still hated me, as I deserved, for leaving her, but one day, maybe.
That ridiculous dream was shattered. She made it perfectly clear that I would never be able to have her. Never again be able to call her mine. Never again be able to hold her in my arms. And this time, I had nothing to condole myself. I had already let the worst happen to her, she was already a monster like all of us.
The rest of my family had heard the same thing in her words that I had. They were all feeling pity for me. Pity I didn't deserve. I couldn't hold myself up anymore; I fell to my knees. I would be crying were it possible. My mother's arm was suddenly around my shoulder, trying to comfort me. I didn't deserve happiness, but Bella did.
"Jasper?" I asked. He looked at me, confused. "I know I always tell me not to make me feel happy, but I can't keep this pretense up on my own." I told him.
He understood. "You want to seem happy so Bella doesn't feel guilty." He guessed.
I nodded.
Esme's grip on me tightened. She wanted to be able to tell me that it was going to be okay, but knew it was empty promise.
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And this is why the story is under the category: angst
^_^
I'll put the next chapter up as soon as I can
Oh yeah, so this story jumps POV a lot... sorry if that bothers you, but I reserve the right to jump into any character's head at any time!
PLEASE REVIEW!!! I shall grant you virtual pie if you do! ;)
