Damn... after this chapter I'm feeling even more frustrated about this story. Nadie is acting very... well, read for yourself, but I'm not very happy with it, although her current state of mind is kinda needed for the end of the fanfic. I actually intended to write a funnier chapter, and glimpses of that are still in it, but it has somehow become quite twisted. Well, tell me what you think of it.

Kiros Razer, fsmercredi, Spikesagitta: Welcome back.

Mari R. Luca: Sorry, but I doubt this story will be much longer than the other two - writing in a foreign language takes too much time.

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Playful licks

„Nadie, I'm hungry."

Nadie turned around. She had been lost in thoughts the whole day, thoughts about her and Ellis of course. Fortunately this was one of the days when she felt more like being Ellis' friend than being the other girl's GIRLfriend, but that didn't mean she wasn't constantly thinking about her. She still didn't know what to do… especially on these OTHER days, when her senses were sharper, showing her details of Ellis' body more clearly, the smoothness of her skin, the hypnotizing movement of her short, blonde hair, the different emotions, happiness, curiosity and more, in her deep, dark eyes… These were moments of agony, when she needed every little bit of willpower to avert her gaze, calm down her breath and try focussing on something else – which didn't always work.

Two days ago it had been very bad… so bad that she hadn't been able to sleep, with Ellis lying so close nearby, the pent-up emotions in her chest nearly tearing her apart. She had desperately tried to fall asleep, but each little noise Ellis had made in her sleep, like moving her blanket or moaning softly – oh god, these moans! – had sent hot and cold shivers down Nadie's spine simultaneously. And after one painful hour, which had been like eons to her, her strength had left her. She had left the jeep, running so far away that she was sure Ellis wouldn't hear her anymore… and then she had masturbated, thinking of the other girl.

After that she had started crying. She had felt dirty, like if she had actually violated Ellis, tainted the most sacred and important being she had ever met in her life. It hadn't really helped telling herself, that it had been necessary to release the pressure inside of her, she had still felt like scum. At least this guilt had stopped her from developing new fantasies about her and Ellis till now, but of course Ellis had realized Nadie's evasive behaviour after this night. Although she hadn't said anything, her curious and pitying glances had felt like red-hot needles on Nadie's skin.

They had arrived in another one of these small towns with a few houses, a general store, an Amigo Tacos and a church. It was a boring town, there was nothing extraordinary about it. Nadie had just stopped because they needed to buy some supplies, but because of Nadie's absentmindedness they had been here far longer than she had planned. It was already afternoon and Ellis was right – Nadie was a little hungry too. And although Nadie was still quite depressed, Ellis was just looking too cute with her pleading eyes and her hand on her stomach. Child-like cuteness fortunately, which reminded Nadie of their time before Nadie's… change of mind. It somehow cheered her up, and she was thankful for that. She smiled her first true smile since that night.

"Sorry" she told the other girl. "I totally lost track of time. How about we eat some tacos before we leave this town?"

Ellis' expression changed to pure joy in the blink of an eye. "Yes sir!" she responded, but her saluting looked rather funny because of the shopping bag in her hand. Nadie covered her mouth with her hand and giggled. Oh, this carefree attitude around Ellis felt so good! She wished their relationship could be like that again, but deep inside she knew better. Still, she'd enjoy it as long it lasted.

"You look silly, Ellis!" she told the blonde girl and took her hand. "Come on, let's get some tacos! I'm getting hungry too."

They entered the Amigo Tacos, still holding hands, then Ellis left Nadie to sit down. A part of Nadie's sadness returned when Ellis' hand left her's, but she carried it off well and went to the counter. There was no waitress there and she had to shout the cook out of the kitchen, but she didn't mind waiting a few moments, sorting her thoughts. It was no big deal. She and Ellis would eat like normal people, they'd chat a bit, they'd laugh and they'd leave this town. Her desires would return, she knew that much. Her reluctance to let go of Ellis' hand was a clear sign, but at least today they would just be two close friends, nothing more.

When she turned around and walked towards the table Ellis had chosen, she had to smile again. Ellis was grinning at her again, just like she had done in Antonio's and Margarita's Amigo Tacos – a big and exaggerated fake grin, but it also made her look like a child, who wanted to persuade someone to give her sweets. Simply cute.

"You don't have to do that, Ellis" Nadie stated smirking while putting their food on the table. "I won't let you starve any longer."

Ellis continued beaming at her. "But you just saved my life, Nadie" she told her friend in her best serious voice.

Nadie chuckled. Ellis had started trying to be comical some time ago, because humor was something she had never learned like any other child. And, as she had told Nadie, she loved hearing her laugh. Although clumsy and unintentionally funny at times, Nadie didn't mind this kind of distraction from her… private thoughts at all. Even if it meant that Ellis was learning new things… stopping to be a naive kid… slowly becoming an adult… Nadie shook her head and seized a taco.

"Not until you start eating" she reminded the blonde girl and took a bite. "Or do you want me to feed you?"

Her eyes widened. She hadn't intended to say that! Now her imagination was running wild again, creating short movies for her mind's eye, pictures of fingers and wet lips and…

Fortunately Ellis stopped grinning and took her taco, her movement distracting Nadie a bit. "That won't be necessary" the blonde girl said and smiled her gentle smile. There had to have been butterflies in Nadie's taco, because they started to move inside of her stomach. "Thanks for the meal, Nadie."

With that she started eating. There was nothing special about the way she was eating, she was using her jaws like any other human, but still Nadie was unable to avert her gaze this time. Damn her own comment about feeding Ellis, now the pictures in her head mixed with reality, adding a… sensual, erotic component to Ellis' moving lips. She completely forgot about eating her own taco, just automatically chewing the pieces in her mouth. Ellis' lips seemed to have an hypnotic effect on her… Nadie's spirit separated from her body, coolly analyzing the way her eyes followed the movements of Ellis' lips, the rate of her heartbeat accelerating, the way her breathing became harder. She noticed all these things, but she couldn't do anything against it. Her senses had sharpened in this kind of trance, accentuating details like crumbs falling to the ground, on the way there bouncing off of Ellis' alabaster skin, or arranging Ellis' chewing noises into a calming melody. If she had read something like that in a romance novel – not that SHE ever would – Nadie would have called it poetic crap. But now she was experiencing this herself. She was completely under Ellis' spell this time, although the petite girl didn't know it. How had this happened? Just a minute ago they had been just friends – yes, it had been a lie, but she had thought she could uphold this lie a little longer, and now… she was lost.

Then – fortunately? sadly? – Ellis finished her meal. And finally noticed Nadie staring at her. She blinked.

"Nadie?" she asked, worried. „Is something wrong with my face?"

"Huh?" Nadie made and finally found back to reality. And panicked. How should she explain her strange behaviour to Ellis? How should she explain that even now she couldn't avert her gaze from Ellis' sauce-covered lips…?

"Sauce!" she announced hastily. Was she BLUSHING? She was a bounty hunter, goddamn! She shouldn't blush, least of all in front of Ellis! What would the girl think of her now? "There's sauce all around your mouth!"

"Really?" Ellis said, looking for a mirror, but finding none. "I'm sorry. I was just so hungry, that I…"

"Don't worry" Nadie said. Suddenly all of her panic was gone and the warmth from before was returning to her body. What the hell was wrong with her? Had she really ordered her hand to reach for a paper napkin? And why was she approaching Ellis, placing her chair right next to the girl? And why did she have such a crazy smile on her face? "I'll help you."

When her fingers touched Ellis' mouth, only separated by the paper napkin, it felt like she had received a small electric shock. She was definitely aroused now, not being able to stop herself at this point. Her movements were painfully slow, enjoying each moment to the fullest, even returning to already cleaned spots to prolong this ritual. Her fingers nearly accidentally touched Ellis' naked skin every now and then, sending small impacts through Nadie's body.

"You are a very dirty girl, Ellis" her mouth announced, her voice almost sounding like a cat's purr. What the…? Had she really said that? But the small part of her thinking that couldn't do anything to stop her. "Wasting all that delicious sauce."

"Vorry" Ellis mumbled, half of her mouth still covered by the paper napkin. Was she really blushing? No, that was probably just because Nadie's fingers had been pressing a little too hard. This thought finally returned some of Nadie's senses to her and, almost terrified by her own actions, she pulled her hand back. Still she couldn't stop herself from putting her other hand on Ellis' chin, gently caressing it while pretending to look for any more sauce spots on her face.

"You really shouldn't waste food like that, Ellis" Nadie commented. Her voice sounded husky. She was in an euphoric state right now, the heat inside of her body so intense that Ellis should be able to feel it through the fingers on her chin. Nadie's eyes never left Ellis' face while she lifted the paper napkin, positioning it in front of her own mouth. Was she looking for reactions on Ellis' face? Then she was being disappointed. Ellis seemed to be slightly confused, but there was no other emotion on her face, no fear, no amusement and no sign of any sexual feeling. Or was it just Ellis' mastery of keeping a straight face?

A part of Nadie was really glad that they were alone in the restaurant, because that part realized only now, what she was about to do. And it cried out in disgust, as her head approached the paper napkin a little more and her tongue left her mouth to lick the sauce on it. But the rest of her bathed in the thrill of the situation, in the ecstatic feeling of exposing her dark desires in front of Ellis. This bigger part of her grinned as Ellis' eyes widened. Nadie continued licking the sauce spots on the napkin, enjoying the thought that they had been on Ellis' skin – on Ellis' SKIN! – just a minute ago. She was not sure if Ellis' really understood what Nadie was doing right now, but sole possibility was enough to drive Nadie crazy with excitement.

"Nadie…"

Nadie inhaled sharply as she heard Ellis' voice. This one word felt like a command, like an order, and she didn't know how she was able to hold herself back. The small rational part of her wondered, if she had already gone insane, but she didn't really listen to it. Ellis' voice was much more beautiful. "Yes?" she whispered and let go of Ellis' chin. What would the blonde girl do now?

"You got your fingers dirty, Nadie." There was an expression of true concern on Ellis' face, and nothing more. Nadie blinked, confused. This wasn't how Ellis was supposed to…

But the blonde girl had already grabbed Nadie's hand and put the paper napkin on the table. It was true, when Nadie had touched Ellis' face with one of her fingers, she had hit a small sauce spot. And now Nadie's eyes widened in unbelief as Ellis opened her mouth and put the finger inside. The heat inside of her body increased tenfold, as her friend's tongue touched Nadie's finger. She bit on her lip hard, her eyes still fixed on this incredible picture in front of her… something she had longed for in her dark fantasies, she had been craving for in her wicked mind… and yet so… twisted. Because there was absolutely no sign, not the smallest one, that Ellis was doing more than just helping her friend cleaning her finger. If she hadn't been insane before, Nadie felt that she was about to snap now.

"Damn…" she groaned. „Ellis…"

Suddenly Ellis pulled Nadie's finger out of her mouth. Then she inhaled deeply and started breathing out, trying to dry the finger. Nadie's eyes widened even more, as the cool wind reached her skin, and her throat produced some choking sounds. Her heart was hammering faster than ever, in her ears she heard her blood flowing fast and her private spot felt like it was about to explode.

"There" Ellis announced, let go of Nadie's hand and smiled, seemingly oblivious of Nadie's condition. "Now your finger is clean again, Nadie."

That was simply too much. This picture of purity, of innocence after… after what Ellis had…

"Restroom!" Nadie announced, standing up abruptly. „Needtogototherestroom!" The last thing she saw, before she turned around and approached restroom as fast as she could without actually running, was Ellis' slightly puzzled face. The girl didn't even KNOW what she had done to Nadie! Maybe, MAYBE Ellis' had just played some kind of erotic game with Nadie – although it hadn't looked like that at all – but even then she obviously still had no clue about the possible depth of human desires, the abyss inside of Nadie's soul. Much more likely was that Ellis was still completely innocent, which made it all even worse.

"Damn Ellis", Nadie whispered as she opened the restroom door. Tears started to form in her eyes as guilt attacked her heart, punishing her for all the wicked things and emotions she had done and felt just now. "Why are you doing this… to me?"

It took a long time, before she felt able to leave the restroom again.

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I'm not even sure if I have to change the fanfic from T to M right now, although technically nothing has happened yet. What do you think? The next chapter will be a "reading"-chapter, with romance novels and girl talk about kissing. My apologies to each of you, who doesn't like this new Nadie, she'll be more composed, though also guilt-ridden in the next chapter. Heck, what am I doing to this poor girl?