CHAPTER ONE - CONFESSION
"Edward, I..." My mouth wouldn't form the words.
"What, Bella? Spit it out already." His tone was slightly annoyed. I had been over at his apartment for roughly an hour after a frenzied phone call and a speed racer-esque drive over here. I had realized, all of a sudden, that I couldn't hold this in anymore. I had to get my feelings off my chest, and I had to do it now. I hadn't really thought about exactly what I was going to say and now that the moment to speak was here, I was at a loss for words. He had been dealing with my half sentences and mumbling for long enough and was obviously getting tired of the charade.
"You said you had something to tell me, so just say it." His arms folded across his chest. "Since when have you ever been tongue tied around me?"
It felt like I had a giant lump in my throat. I couldn't make the words come out right. How do you tell the person you've been best friends with since you were four years old that you're madly in love with them? This was going to ruin our friendship, I knew it. But there was no turning back. I had already said too much and my mind couldn't backtrack fast enough to come up with a lie to cover myself.
My voice dropped down to a whisper, and I wasn't even sure he could hear me. I hesitated again before saying what I had wanted to say for over ten years. "I'm in love with you."
I couldn't look at him. I heard nothing in response. Complete silence. I could feel the tears welling behind my eyes. I was ready to turn around and run out the door and never look back.
After about ten long seconds of silence, I heard his weight shift and all of a sudden, I was in his arms. His face was hot against mine as he crushed me into a breathtaking hug. I could feel wetness on my cheek and cursed myself internally for letting the tears spill over… But, wait. My eyes hadn't betrayed me. Those weren't my tears.
"Edward..." I pulled his face away from mine. I hadn't gotten my voice back yet, so my words still came out sounding strangled. "You're... You're crying?"
He sheepishly wiped under his eyes with his sleeve and let out a shaky laugh. "Bella, do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say those words?" His voice didn't sound much better then mine had.
My heart began to beat even faster in response to what he had just said. Could there be hope? Could he possibly feel the same for me? Could I really get everything I've wanted since I was 13 years old?
I looked up into Edward's gorgeous green eyes, wet with tears, and saw everything I had ever hoped for in the past ten years. I brought a shaky finger up and wiped a tear from underneath his right eye.
"Silly boy, why are you crying?" My question was a bit hypothetical though, as the tears that had threatened to betray me earlier were dangerously close to spilling over my own eyes.
"I'm just so happy, Bella, I—" His words abruptly cut off as his eyes searched my face. Before I knew it, his lips were crushing mine, urgent and wanting. His tongue pushed my lips apart and eagerly probed my mouth. I could taste the salt on his lips as I fervently kissed him back. He tangled his hands in my hair as he pulled me closer.
Then we were falling. He had pushed me down onto the couch, lightly resting his body on top of mine. His lips moved from mine down to my neck, kissing, nibbling, biting, licking, sucking, God. One of his hands found its way under my shirt and as he was running his fingers up my stomach, a bulb went off in my head.
Bella? Shouldn't you guys talk about what's happening right now?
His lips found mine again, and I couldn't form the words to make him stop. My hands gripped his neck tightly as I tried to pull him even closer to me.
You need to talk to him. There's plenty of time for this later.
I reluctantly agreed with the microscopic part of my brain telling me that while this could be beyond amazing, it could wait. "Edward—" My voice came out muffled as his lips were still eagerly exploring my own.
"Hmmm?" His tongue began tracing along my bottom lip and fuck, screw talking, I was ready to have him right now, on his couch, resolve gone, forget the consequences. But a tiny part of my mind was still telling me that we needed to talk before we went any further, so I lightly pushed against his chest. The pressure was enough to make him stop.
His face was flushed as he looked down at me. "What's wrong?" He asked breathlessly.
"Shouldn't we, I don't know, talk about this?" The words were actually painful to say. As much as I was dying for this to happen, as I had been fantasizing about this for God knows how long, I knew this was the right thing to do.
He lifted himself off of me and fell backwards onto the other side of the couch. His hands immediately went into his hair, a nervous habit of his. "Ok, let's talk."
"Don't get me wrong, I want this to happen as much as you, but it's all so sudden," I scooted closer to him, until our bodies were almost touching again. My voice dropped. "I had no idea you'd feel this way. I hadn't prepared myself for this reaction from you."
His dazzling smile returned. "What did you think I'd do?" His voice was curious, and a bit teasing.
I didn't want to tell him how I thought he would remove himself from my life completely, so I just shrugged nonchalantly. "Not that, that's for damn sure," I managed a small smile.
He leaned forward and took his hands in mine, the playfulness gone from his face again. "I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you, Bella. I just never knew how to tell you. This is a dream come true for me."
My breathing kicked up a notch again as he softly kissed my forehead. Just when I had gotten my heart rate under control, he had to put his warm lips on my skin again. He brought his hand up to my face and stroked my cheek gently. "I've wanted nothing more then for this to happen for years, but I was afraid of ruining what we had."
Funny, he felt exactly the same way I did about our relationship. He had the same fears I did. The relief I felt from this revelation was almost enough to make me have an audible reaction.
He paused for two beats, and was suddenly excited. His eyes lit up like a kid's on Christmas and he was practically giddy with enthusiasm. He pulled me up off the couch and planted a quick kiss on my cheek. "Wait here," he said and gently pushed me away from him. In three strides, he was at the front door turning the knob.
"Wait, where are you--"
"It's a surprise, I promise I'll be back in half an hour," he turned back towards me and his mouth twisted up into the crooked smile I loved so much. "Don't go anywhere."
"Ok, I won't," I wrapped my now empty arms around myself as he shut the door. When I was sure he was gone, I threw myself back onto the couch, kicking my legs up in excitement. I squealed out loud, sounding like a little kid who had just gotten a puppy for Christmas and was a bit embarrassed at myself, even knowing I was alone. I couldn't contain my exhilaration though, and pushed my face into one of his couch cushions to muffle my excitement.
I couldn't believe Edward actually felt the same way about me. I was sure he saw me as nothing more then his "Belly-Bean," a stupid nickname he had come up with after an incident involving a bag of Jelly Bellies and an anthill when we were nine. I had practically made myself sick, agonized over how I was going to express my feelings, dreading his response; sure this would ruin any chance we had at even staying friends. I had all but convinced myself that there was no chance he wanted anything to do with me romantically, and that I was going to lose him once I poured my heart out to him.
I was so electric with happy energy that I had to get up and do something. I couldn't just sit around and wait for him to come back. I started organizing the magazines on his coffee table, first alphabetically by name: Car and Driver, Esquire, FHM, GQ, Men's Health, Sports Illustrated, then by release date, earliest to most recent. When I was bored with that I went to the fridge and grabbed a Coke and contemplated a bag of Doritos, but if we were going to be doing anything I had in mind when he got back, Doritos were a bad idea.
I plopped back down on the couch and dug my phone out of my purse. Even though things were still early, I had to tell someone about how amazing the past hour was. I found Jessica in my contact list and quickly typed out a text.
Jess, OMG, you'll never guess what just happened!
I flipped my phone shut and mentally counted to ten. It would probably take Jessica less time then that to respond to me. Not only was her phone practically attached to her hand, she had a massive texting addiction and was more possibly more obsessed then my wanna-be relationship with Edward then I was. It took until I reached eight Mississippi's for my phone to vibrate in my hand.
WHAT?! IS HE THERE? CAN YOU CALL ME? I NEED DETAILS, WOMAN.
A huge smile spread across my face as I responded.
No, he ran out but I don't know when he'll be back. He is an AMAZING kisser!! Holy hell, Jess. It went better then I could have imagined!!
I flipped on the TV and put the volume down to background noise as I sipped my Coke and texted back and forth with Jess, giving her as many details as was possible in text form and promising her several times I would call her later with details I couldn't fit into a 300 character message.
I lost track of time, and only looked at the clock when I saw the sun beginning to set behind the curtains. How long had he been gone? What time did he leave? He said he'd be back in half an hour, but if my calculations were right, he'd been gone almost two hours.
Uneasily, I dialed his cell number. It rang four times and went to voicemail.
Weird.
I waited ten minutes and tried again.
No answer.
After another fifteen minutes, I gave it another try.
Straight to voicemail.
I began getting anxious. It wasn't like Edward to not answer his phone. And on the few occasions he didn't answer, he always returned my calls quickly. What was going on?
I began nervously pacing his apartment, checking the display on my phone every couple of minutes just in case he called but my phone had malfunctioned.
Nothing.
After a half an hour of pacing, I dialed his number again. Still straight to voicemail.
I had a really sick feeling in my stomach now. He had said half an hour, and he had been gone almost three. If whatever he was planning was going to take this long, he would have called me to tell me he would be longer; he knew how I worried.
I tried to focus on the reality show droning out of the TV, but couldn't concentrate.
The pacing continued.
After another 20 minutes, my phone rang shrilly in my hand. Relief flooded through me as I looked at the caller ID. But it wasn't Edward calling; it was Alice, his nosy, spunky, slightly annoying sister.
My first thought was that Edward had called her and told her what had happened between us. Already feeling mentally exhausted from just the thought of this conversation, I flipped the phone open.
"Hey Alice."
"Bella?" Her voice was frantic.
My stomach jumped into my throat.
"Bella? Are you there?!"
"What's wrong?" Just like earlier, my voice wouldn't go above a whisper, but this time it was out of terror, not nervousness.
"It's Edward. There's been an accident."
My world collapsed around me and the darkness came quickly.
Thanks for all the positive reviews on the prologue, you guys!! I appreciate all your feedback so much!! Let me know how you all feel about the first chapter. :)
