Author's Note: Now that we've established the scene, make your predictions for what poor Jim Halpert has. The winner gets a free packet of Taco Bell mild sauce. Mmm, yummy.

Reading and reviewing are highly encouraged.

Disclaimer: I do not own "House" or "The Office," even though I tell people I do all the time.

Part Two

"All right, open your mouth," Cameron, a pretty female doctor with blonde hair and blue eyes ordered Jim.

Jim did so. While she was shining a light to examine his throat, he asked with difficulty, "What are you looking for?"

"Anything," Cameron answered. "You never know the full extent of a car crash."

"I only fell in a ditch," Jim said. "It shouldn't be that big of a deal."

"You're right, but you know us doctors; we have to know every single little thing and not miss a spot."

Cameron stopped looking in his throat and turned away to his chart. "You're all fine."

"Really?"

"Yep. You have a few scraps, so you can get some Neosporin on it so it won't get infected. Other than that, you're good to go."

"Great," Jim smiled, relieved to be able to leave. Hospitals weren't the place he wanted to be in.

"You should probably get some more sleep," Cameron turned back to shake Jim's hand. "Not having any sleep can cause car accidents."

"Thanks for the enlightenment," Jim joked, shaking her hand back.

Cameron looked up in Jim's face and looked into his eyes. They looked red, which weren't like that when she checked them out earlier. "Hold on a sec."

Jim raised his eyebrows, and Cameron shined a light into his face. "Let me see your eyes."

"Why?" Jim asked, bending over anyway so Cameron would have a better look into them.

Cameron examined them to find his eyes all puffy and red. "Do your eyes feel scratchy at all?"

"No. Why you ask?"

Cameron looked closer to see if a bit of glass or any foreign object were in his eyes, but didn't see anything. "I think you'll have to stick around for a bit."


"Nope, absolutely not," House said, walking over to his chair and taking a seat.

"Why not?" Cameron asked, walking over to his desk and throwing the file onto it. "You don't have another case going on right now."

"That's because nothing coming in interests me," House took out a Nintendo DS and turned it on. "But a game of Mario Kart does."

Cameron rolled her eyes and opened the file. "The patient drove his car into a ditch because he was too tired to focus on the road."

"So?"

"It was in the afternoon, and he said he had ten hours of sleep."

House titled the DS as he was turning the vehicle in his video game and said, "Oh, come on! Where'd that shell come from?"

"House," Cameron grew annoyed. "He also said he had lower back pain and hasn't eaten anything in a day, but isn't hungry."

"Still not interested," House refused, hitting buttons furiously. "Son of a--"

"He also has uveitis. Inflammtion of the uvea."

"I know what that means. He probably got glass in them."

"There wasn't any glass when I checked. Something's wrong with this patient."

House finished his race in the game and said, "Then cure him."

"I don't know what it is," Cameron admitted. "And I'm starting to think the only reason you don't want to take the case is because you're worried that you'll get the patient killed."

House lost the next race and shut the DS off, and looked at Cameron. "Would you really take another case so soon after that?"

"Yes, because we're doctors. We move on and don't dwell on the past. I learned that from you," Cameron left the file on his desk before leaving his office.

House watched her leave and once she was out of sight, he opened the case file and read it over.


"28-year-old male," House began to tell Foreman, Taub, Thirteen, and Kutner once he entered the room. "Fell asleep behind the wheel, has lower back pain, loss of appetite, and uveitis. Go."

"He probably didn't get enough sleep," Foreman said, rolling his eyes.

"And he probably got glass in his eye from the crash," Kutner jumped in. "Why are we taking this case?"

"Because he's been having lots of sleep and he only developed uveitis hours after the crash," House replied.

That was going to be a challenge for the team by not taking those ideas and running with them.

"Could be autoimmune," Taub suggested. "It attacks the brain and spinal cord, causing pain in the back, loss of appetite."

"Or it could be leptospirosis," Thirteen countered. "He was in New York, wasn't he?"

"Oh, New York isn't infested with infected animal urine; it's the cleanest city in the world," House said sarcastically. He thought about it for a minute and said to Thirteen, "Get some urine and test it. Also, Taub, give the patient corticosteroids. That'll stop an acute attack of M.S. and help relieve the swelling the eyes."

Taub and Thirteen rose from their seats and went out to perform the tasks that House gave them. House turned to face the remaining Foreman and Kutner and said, "You two, go out to his house and find some dirt."

"Why would we go all the way out to New York if we think he has leptospirosis?" Foreman crossed his arms.

"I didn't say you were going to New York, did I?" House made his way across the room to his office. "You're going to his house in Scranton."

"Gesundheit," Kutner excused House, thinking he sneezed.

Foreman rolled his eyes at Kutner and said to House, "Scranton what?"

"Scranton, Pennsylvania. That's where the patient lives. Honestly, I have no idea why this is such a difficult concept for you morons to grasp," House insulted them.

"Pennsylvania? What was he doing in New York if he lives in a totally different state?" Foreman asked aloud.

"That's for you guys to find out," House answered. "Now get moving. Patient could be dying, you know."

Kutner and Foreman got up from their seats, with Foreman rolling his eyes at the task they were to perform. "What's the address?"

House told them that, and then some. "You might also want to check his workplace. If it's enviornmental, then his coworkers will show signs of sickness too."

"Where does he work?" Kutner asked while writing down the address House had told them earlier.

"Dunder Mifflin at 1725 Slough Avenue," House looked at the file. "Whatever the hell that means."

Kutner's eyes lit up at the very mention of the name, "Dunder Mifflin," as he wrote it down. "Can we know the name of our patient?"

"Jim Halpert."

Kutner looked down at his pad of paper in astonishment and wrote in big block letters, "Jim Halpert is in our hospital!" House gave a strange look at Kutner, but decided to ignore him. He'd gotten used to Kutner's strangeness. Then Kutner and Foreman left to go to Scranton, leaving House behind with no one around him.


Taub and Thirteen entered the patient's room and found the patient, Jim Halpert, lying there. Jim looked up at the doctors and greeted, "Hello."

"Hello," Thirteen and Taub said at the same time. Taub took the lead in informing the patient. "I'm Dr. Taub and this is...Thirteen."

"Thirteen?" Jim asked, confused.

"Long story," Thirteen jumped in. "We're working for Dr. House, and we're going to find out what's wrong with you."

"There's nothing really wrong with me though. Just puffy eyes and my back," Jim pointed out.

"Dr. House is a very curious individual," Thirteen answered. "I'm going to have to need a urine sample for a diagnostic test, and Dr. Taub here is going to give you some corticosteroids to help relieve the inflammtion in your eyes."

"And you'll know what's wrong with me and I can go home?"

"That's what we're hoping for, yes," Taub said and he and Thirteen made their way over to Jim's side to help him up to the bathroom.

"I think I got it," Jim tried to get up. Once he stepped onto the cold linoleum surface, he felt pain in his lower back. He let out a little whimper of pain and tried to walk. That wasn't going too well.

"My knees feel funny," Jim said aloud, touching them.

Thirteen bent down to inspect Jim's knees. They were inflammed and puffy, almost like his eyes. This wasn't good. It also meant a couple things.

"This doesn't happen with leptospirosis," Taub said aloud, noticing Jim's inflammed knees as well. "Or multiple sclerosis."

"It's something else," Thirteen elaborated.


Addendum: To those of you that said multiple sclerosis or leptospirosis, sorry, thank you for playing. Your parting gifts will be waiting for you out in the lobby. Please review them! I can't make this story better without your critiques.