My heart has somehow managed to stop beating and beat a thousand times faster at the same time. I look over my shoulder at Prim who has a look of pure terror on her face. I smile at her and give her a wink, giving her a small nod. She nods back, taking in a deep breath and exhaling slowly.

The mayor steps up to the podium on stage and reads the usual history of how the Hunger Games came to be. I roll my eyes and wait it out but find myself losing patience; I let out a long breath as the anger slowly builds within me, rolling inside like a thunderstorm.

I can't concentrate on anything right now.

I see Madge shift her weight out of the corner of my eye and I wonder what it's like to be the mayors daughter. Strangely enough, she's really a sweet girl. She's always been nothing but nice which some people are surprised at. She tends to keep to herself. But as privileged as they are, she still has a chance of getting her name pulled in the Reaping every year.

Just not as big of a chance as everyone else I know.

Someone coughs behind me, a hacking cough that has to hurt. It echoes through the square. I look down and pull off a lone thread hanging off my dress neckline. I hear a sniffle and my eyes flicker to the girl standing next to me. Tears are running down her face and no one's name has even been drawn. I glance down and see that her hands are shaking uncontrollably. I bite my lip and look away.

I hear a scuffle onstage and look up to see Haymitch Abernathy stumbling into his designated chair as the lone surviving victor of District 12. He's obviously drunk- his cheeks are flushed and he seems confused as to how he got onstage in the first place.

Effie Trinket is then introduced and steps up to the podium. She's her usual bubbly self as she beams at the group of children in front of her. "Happy Hunger Games!" The audience is silent as she waits for a reply. She gives a short nod and continues as if nothing happened. "May the odds be ever in your favor!"

She adjusts her ridiculous pink hair and then starts talking about how she feels so honored to be here. I drown her words out in my head as my thoughts keep drifting away from the stage.

I stare at the girl in front of me. Her blonde hair is long and perfectly wavy, falling down in soft ringlets to the middle of her back. Her slim shoulders are relaxed as she watches the stage up ahead. I look down and see her hands clenched into fists, giving her away. My eyes drift back up to Effie.

She walks to the glass ball filled with the girls' names. "Ladies first!" Everyone stiffens and the crowd is silent. I feel sick and my breathing begins to accelerate. She walks back to the podium and watches the crowd for a moment smoothing out the slip of paper. My hands start shaking as I close my eyes waiting for her to announce the name. You could hear a pin drop, it's so quiet.

I can't breathe.

"Stella Sawyers!"

I exhale.

The girl in front of me stands up a little bit straighter and makes her way to the stage. She doesn't cry, she doesn't speak, she doesn't make eye contact. Her face looks hard, angry.

Determined.

She's the same age as me, but I haven't been in the same class with her for the last few years. I've seen her around town, though. She's popular, especially with the boys. Her long legs and clear green eyes can make most males stop and stare. She's always had a bit of an attitude but somehow finds a way to stay out of serious trouble. She stands strong and beautiful on stage as Effie puts a microphone in her face.

"Say hello to everyone, dear!"

She stares at Effie for a moment and her jaw clenches. "Get that thing out of my face." She knocks the microphone away from her, making the sound system squeal for a moment. We all wince as the noise invades our ears before it disappears.

Effie gasps and steps back. She shakes her head vigorously and turns away. "Manners, manners, young lady." The audience is silent again as Effie composes herself. She smiles at us again, clapping her hands, urging us to welcome Stella. We all clap quietly but hesitantly. Stella rolls her eyes and huffs.

The people at the Capitol aren't going to like her very much if she keeps up this attitude.

"Now for our lucky gentleman who will accompany Miss Stella," Effie says brightly. She steps in front of the crystal bowl again and digs her fingers around for a few seconds. As she makes her way back to the podium I glance over at Peeta and Gale again.

Gale stares straight ahead at the stage, his gaze unwavering, his hands in his pockets. Behind him, Peeta's eyes stare at the ground, his eyes a little bit wider than usual. He's biting his lip.

"I wonder who the lucky young man will be?" I hear the rustling of paper as she opens the small white slip holding someone's death sentence.

Not them. Please, not them.

I close my eyes again as my heart starts to skyrocket in my chest.

"Peeta Mellark!"

No.

My heart drops down to my feet as the air escapes my lungs. The blood is drained from Peeta's face as he stands in shock for a moment in the crowd of boys. They all step away from him as if he is the plague and he watches them do it as if he is in a daze. His eyes flicker to mine as I bite my lip and shake my head.

I'm so sorry, I mouth to him. He shakes his head and gives me a half hearted smile that doesn't reach his eyes. He steps away from the crowd of people as he makes his way to the podium with our other tribute.

I glance at Gale. He hasn't moved since before she announced Peeta's name. He still stares forward, his hands in his pockets, his face unintelligible. He seems unmoved. I can't be angry at him for being relieved that his name wasn't called, but I feel angry anyways. Can't he at least show some respect for his best friend whose name was just called? Show some emotion, anything? I stare at him for a moment longer before looking at Peeta again.

Effie takes his hand and leads him to a place on the left of Stella. "Welcome, Peeta! Congratulations!" She turns and urges us to clap for him as we did for Stella. I don't move. I keep my hands at my sides as everyone else claps.

I will not clap for Peeta.

He deserves that much.

His eyes stay on mine as he's on stage. I hold his gaze, memorizing every line and every bit of him that I can. Why him? Why Peeta? I need him. Shock registers as I realize the thought that just crept through my head.

I need Peeta. I can't let him go. I can't. But I have to; I have no choice. I can't stop him from going into the games just as much as he can't stop himself from going into them.

He gives me another small smile as he watches me. I attempt to smile back at him but a lone tear down my cheek gives me away. His eyes soften and I see him let out a long shaky exhale. A bit of his ashy blonde hair has fallen onto his forehead. I wish I could run up there and brush it off but I know I can't.

The mayor steps up to the podium and delivers the speech about the Treaty of Treason. My thoughts drown out his voice as my eyes stay locked on Peeta's. I can feel Gale's eyes on me, but I don't care. I won't look away. I can't look away.

His eyes leave mine as he turns away. He's shaking hands with Stella as the anthem of Panem plays. She watches him curiously and her eyes flicker in my direction. She looks me up and down and her lips curl up as she rolls her eyes. She smiles at Peeta. What is that about? As soon as the anthem is over the two of them are taken into custody into the huge doors of the Justice Building.


I stand in my place as all around me chaos ensues. All of the children left behind flee to find their families, overjoyed that they have another year before the next Reaping. Another year left to live. The excitement in the air is unbearable and I stand there jealous of all the children who have another year left to live, myself included.

It's another year that Peeta may not have.

People are rushing into each others arms all around me as I stand there alone, still in shock. Prim knocks in to me, nearly knocking me over. She's crying hysterically and keeps wailing Peeta's name. I kneel down holding her shoulders.

"Go find Mom. I'll be home soon." She nods and runs away. A surge of adrenaline rushes through me as I rush forward toward the building, aching, desperate to have one final moment alone with Peeta. I feel a hand rip me backwards and I stumble, my balance thrown off. I rip myself away and turn to see Gale.

"What are you doing?" I hiss as I try to continue forward. Gale pulls me back again and pulls me against his chest in a forced embrace. I retaliate immediately and push myself away from him. I can see the hurt in his eyes as he watches me.

"Let him go, Katniss. It was his final wish. Let him go."

"Do you know what he's probably going through right now? He needs us, Gale."

"This isn't going to help anything."

I stare at him as my jaw drops in shock. "Are you kidding me?" I shove him backwards, hard, causing him to stumble. While he tries to get a grasp on his footing I find myself raising my voice. "He's not dead yet, Gale. What the hell is wrong with you?" He opens his mouth and closes it. He walks backwards, then turns and walks away from me.

I shake my head and rush into the Justice Building. The tile floor reflects back at me, newly waxed, and the wooden walls feel as if theyre closing in on me. People are swarming everywhere and it's loud and disorienting. I stand in the middle of the lobby trying to figure out where to go when I'm stopped by a peacekeeper.

"What are you doing in here?" He narrows his eyes at me, eyeing me up and down. I pause to catch my breath and stand up straight. His eyes keep flickering down the hallway behind me.

"I'm trying to find one of the tributes. I just want to say goodbye."

"Which tribute are you here for?"

"Peeta," I whisper. "Peeta Mellark."

He points me down the hallway and I rush to find my best friend. I see Peeta's mother calmly sitting on a bench outside of one room. I slowly make my way towards her.

She looks up at me and then stares at the wall in front of her. She says nothing. She seems so apathetic right now, like she could literally not care any less that her son is about to leave to a probable death with a mere one in twenty four chance of survival.

I can't believe that she is wasting her precious last moments with Peeta out here waiting in a hallway. I blink a few times and sit next to her on the bench. We're both silent as I wait on his dad and brothers to come out. Finally, I have to ask her the question that's killing me.

"Why are you out here when you have so little time left with him?"

She narrows her eyes at me. "I don't see why that's any of your business, Katniss."

My jaw drops and I turn to stare at her. "Because he's probably terrified and you're not even bothering to say goodbye."

"There's no point."

"You're his mother. He needs you now more than ever. This is your chance to make it better." I pause. "Maybe not perfect, but better."

She rolls her eyes and scoffs at me. "He's going to die, Katniss. Spare yourself the heartache and walk away now."

My blood runs cold as I stand to stare at her. I shake my head and bend over putting my face directly in front of hers. I hold her gaze for a few seconds before I say anything. Her cold blue eyes don't blink but I see her hands clench in her lap.

"He deserved so much better than you for his mother." I walk away and stand in front of the doors, waiting patiently. I turn my back to her so I don't have to see her disgusting face.

The door opens abruptly and I step back. His father and brothers come out wiping their eyes and sniffling. When his dad sees me, he puts a hand on my shoulder and pulls me into a tight embrace. "Go. Be with him." He kisses me on the cheek. "I'll see you soon, sweetheart."

Another tear runs down my cheek. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Mellark."

"I know, honey. I know."

I take a deep breath and pause in front of the door. I wipe my eyes and try to collect myself, smoothing out my dress and running my fingers through my hair. I grasp one of the wooden door knobs in my hand and quietly pull it open.

Peeta is sitting by the window in a chair. His head is in his hands and his chest is heaving. He looks so frail, so alone; it breaks my heart and I step inside, quietly closing the door behind me. It's obvious that he hasn't heard me when he doesn't look up. His breathing is labored as he continues to quietly sob to himself.

I walk over to him and place one hand on the nape of his neck causing him to jump in surprise. He lifts his head to look at me as I cradle his head in my hands. I kneel in front of him and pull him forward so that his forehead rests against mine. I can feel him exhale slowly but he still trembles in fear.

I weave my fingers with his. He pulls our hands up so they rest over his chest; I can feel his heartbeat, drumming wildly out of control. He buries his face into my neck, breathing me in, before he wraps his strong arms around me.

"Listen to me, Peeta." I pull back so he can look at me. "You can do this. You can." My hand lifts to cup his cheek. My thumb gently runs up and down his cheekbone. He covers my hand with his and brings them back down to rest in his lap.

"Katniss, I'm going to die. There's nothing I can do. I can't fight, I can't hunt. I bake; I paint. I mean, I can't exactly paint someone to death."

"Then find something to live for." I run a hand through his hair as he watches me with his big blue eyes. He closes them, pulling me close again, his strong arms wrapping around me so tight that I can't breathe.

"That's not going to be hard," he whispers.