The Collector Base is going to Cerberus. Studying it will help destroy the reapers, she thinks.

Or will it help the Illusive Man conquer the galaxy? Shepard stares at her reflection, the scars from the cybernetic implants a distant memory. Goddamn Collector Base. And goddamn Cerberus, she thinks, berating her naïve thoughts of invading and conquering.

We have dedicated our lives to killing those who deserve death. We cannot not become what we hate, Thane had said.

Fuck it, and fuck Cerberus. They haven't helped her in any discernible way. Yes, they rebuilt her, kept her alive, but for one purpose only; to take out the enemy. Cerberus doesn't give a shit about her, and neither does the Illusive Man. She's just a means to an end. And that is one thing she hates to be.

I'm disquieted, Siha. I trust you, but not the one you work for. I fear your actions will cause him to become a giant.

The second guessing is driving her crazy. She has to put it all behind her, to take that vacation with Thane. To the desert, yes, that was it. Nothing but the sky above them and sand beneath them.

But she can't ignore the knocks at her door any longer.

"Come on in, Thane." Shepard gathers up the datapads and spreads them across the coffee table, eying one closely.

"Apologies," he says. "I didn't know you had plans. I'll just-"

"No." She steps toward him, reaching out to lay her fingers on his arm. "Please stay. I have no plans. Those datapads can wait."

With hands crossed behind his back, he glances at the floor for a moment, then meets her gaze. "You have been avoiding me, Siha."

"I… yes." She shifts, looking toward the fish tank, and then blows out a breath. "You're disappointed with me, with my decision. I did what I thought was best at that moment, but-" She stops as her eyes close tightly for a second. "Everyone thinks I was wrong. Goddamn it, maybe I was."

"If you were wrong, well, perhaps there is still some small victory in this. The Illusive Man does have the resources to investigate the Collector Base thoroughly, maybe even in some ways the Alliance is not willing, or able, to do."

"Maybe." Inching closer, the peace he exudes washes over her, silencing the voices. But every cell in her body comes alive. "How can you be so… calm? And diplomatic? You never raise your voice. You never show any extreme emotion. Hell, you barely break a sweat in a gunfight. What's your secret?"

"I have no secret, Siha. I have only patience, ingrained in me at a tender age, and then well-honed over many years. Although I do beg to differ about my emotions." He moves closer still, until they are almost face to face, his hand coming to rest on her hip. "They may not be readily obvious, but believe me, my emotions are very real, very honest, and when it comes to you, very extreme."

With the strength of one arm, he pins her to the aquarium glass, pressing his hips against hers while his other hand moves lingeringly over her shoulder and down her arm. She frees her hands from his loosened grip, and tugs and pushes at his confining pants, her throat so tight and dry she can barely swallow. She wants to laugh and tell him not to waste his time with irrelevant foreplay, but his fingers touch her so skillfully that she lets him have his way. His lips brush her neck, his breath burning her skin, fingertips dancing along as if to the beat of a seductive tango. Such animal passion, such fire and lust. God, just do it already!

"For so long," he says in a low voice, "I thought you were a virginal, innocent sort."

She can't see the smile in his eyes, but knows it's there. "Clearly you haven't hung around the mess hall enough, Thane. My previous conquests are legendary."

"But I am not a conquest, Siha, nor a trophy. We have a business arrangement, correct?"

"That sounds like a challenge. Is it?"

He spares her a glance, his eyes flashing with defiance. "I'm going to enjoy making you eat those words."

She doesn't know whether it would be better for her to abandon her adventurous teasing or to continue following her heart. For a moment she wants to regain control, but when that sentiment disappears, she doesn't have it in her to try any more. She succumbs to the passion rapidly taking over, to the intoxication and charm of this new happiness, and to hell with the fear that warns and threatens her relentlessly.

"Live in the moment, Siha." Sliding his arms around her, he scoops her up, carries her to the bed, and lies beside her, holding her tightly.

She pulls back ever so slightly. "Thane, are you sure about this? About us?"

"As sure as I was the other night. I promise to hold you with all my heart, Siha, and I will never let go. Not even in death. You will always be mine, and I, yours. But I think you know that already."

"Yes, you are. And I do! I do know it. I'm just... I don't know, a little scared? But don't tell anyone I used that word."

They smile together in silence before his lips capture hers in a heated kiss.

"Never fear," he whispers. "Your secret is safe with me."

And she knows that is the absolute truth. Everything he is and says is absolute. Always.

All through the night, two bodies move as one force, one single, flawless union. And it's more erotic than she ever imagined, more sensuous and soothing. Beyond perfection.

God, she loves him.

Must be his bare chest.


A/N: Just a drabble that's been sitting on my PC for ages. I missed Thane.

ETA: Reading this again, it is a weird little ficlet. I think I wrote it in response to a prompt on Tumblr but never quite finished it in time. I can't recall. Ah well.