Ziva's eyes reflected the promise of retribution. Stormy eyes betrayed her pained heart at seeing the white haired mentor laying in that bed, tubes coming out of places they didn't belong. At least not on him. He was Gibbs dammit!
If this had happened to her father, she would have been just as wounded, but at least with him she would have known he deserved it. Her own father had even told her, "I love you Ziva, but I've done many bad things I'm not proud of, I'm sorry."
Gibbs on the other hand may have earned himself a considerable share of enemies, but what he did was done to protect, not in the name of self interest. She knew she could trust Gibbs, and in some ways he was more of a father to her than her own father. Like a father, he had been there to comfort and support her and never shied away when she needed to be admonished or disciplined. She was his kid. Like a parent, he'd even let her go, even though it hurt because he knew it was what she needed.
Now seeing him there brought on pangs of remorse at having left. They were intensified at seeing Tony's longing for her the moment their eyes first connected. She couldn't deny she wanted him too, but she jus wasn't ready. Not yet. One thing was for certain. Whoever did this to Gibbs was going to pay dearly for it.
"Good to see you again Ziver", Tony crooned delivering a self satisfied grin, not betraying his inner struggle between the excitement of seeing her again and wondering how long she would stay this time. It was his self defense mechanism. He couldn't let her or anyone see how afraid he was. Afraid of the disappointment in store for him the moment she left anew, the horrible cold hand of abandonment. Damn mommy issues!
"Good to see you too Tony", Ziva replied, returning the smile.
"Hey Ziva", Tim softly interrupted the quiet exchange. Knowing exactly what was going through Tony's mind, just as Ziva knew as well, but neither were going to take that from him. Tim and Ziva exchanged a knowing glance, it was all they needed to know Tony was walking on a thin line right now. They'd worked together for so long and so well, that sometimes words were unnecessary.
Tony went back to looking at Gibbs, leaning forward hands folded supporting his chin as his elbows rested on his knees.
Out of all three of them, Ziva and Tim knew Tony was the most attached to Gibbs, even if Tony didn't want to admit it. Heck, he was the one that received the most discipline at Gibbs's hands. To Gibbs discipline had to be tempered with love, comfort and guidance, or it was useless in his eyes.
He could see Tony was the proverbial pup, thanks to an absentee father, so he quenched that thirst and need for a fatherly helping hand. Tim needed it every now and then, as did Ziva, but not as much as Tony did. Eventually, he knew he'd get his fill and not need him as much.
But for now...
Now that helping hand hung in the balance of life and death.
Tony wasn't ready for that, none of them were.
He kept shifting from leaning forward to leaning back, from crossing his legs to spreading them apart. He was restless and going nuts. He needed something to do, but he didn't want to leave Gibbs' side. There were no leads yet, so why waste his time at the office when he could be near him. At least that made sense to him at the time.
Zina glided towards Timothy.
"How long has he been like that?", she asked never taking her eyes off of the restless DiNozzo.
"Since they brought Gibbs in yesterday. I had to practically force feed him, but he wouldn't budge to go home and sleep. He slept in that chair last night. I think he plans to do the same tonight, so I talked to the nursing staff and they might be able to give him the bed next to Gibbs if no one needs it tonight."
"Good, good," she acknowledged.
"I've been going back and forth to the office trying to find a lead, but I can't do it alone", Tim reasoned, "I'm glad you're here. Maybe you can knock some sense into him and get him to work on a lead so he can focus on something other than Gibbs's condition and we can get the bastards that did this." Zina nodded, rolling her holders back as preparing for a wrestling match. She said a little prayer inwardly, that this would go well.
"Tony let's go catch the bastards that did this, my father owes me more than a few favors, I'm going to call them in. Let's go, we are of no use to him here," she pleaded with the now pacing man.
"No, I can't go. What if something happens and I'm not here. I can work on the case from here. You guys go ahead," he replied fully committed to being immovable.
"Tony, you're upset right now, it's understandable, but it makes no sense to remain here, when we can be so much more effective out there, please be reasonable," she gently urged.
"NO! I WONT ABANDON HIM! YOU GOT THAT!", he spat out eyes wild and his face distorted between anger and anguish. Zina took a step back, hands up in a placating manner, a look of worry and sorrow for her friend shone on her features.
"He never abandoned me," he whispered, His strangled voice pre-shadowing the tears that were to come, whether he bade them to or not.
He had reached his breaking point.
And he hated it.
He'd worked so hard at hiding himself, but here he was about to burst out in tears and there was nothing he could do about it. Pretty much the same as he was able to do nothing about Gibbs's condition. That parallel of helplessness hit him like a solid punch in the face.
His eyes went wide at the realization, and like an infant getting his first immunizations, the pain registered and they screwed shut as his eyebrows knit together. He clenched his teeth trying to will himself under control, but to no avail. He choked back a sob, but lost the battle as he began to, openly sob, managing to only cover his face with a bent arm.
The emotional turmoil that he'd been pushing back since childhood came to claim it's hold on him with a vengeance. Gibbs had been the one person that had held that incomplete part of him in check, now that was being threatened.
That hold wasn't there now.
He was a leaf in the wind, twisting and turning wherever the wind willed him to turn.
Ziva's leaving hadn't helped either, but he couldn't selfishly tell her how much that affected him. She had to do what was best for her.
Ziva rushed to him attempting to take him in her arms, but he didn't want to let his arm down.
She inwardly chuckled, what a stubborn man, even now he didn't want to admit defeat.
How she loved that about him. He never gave up, but now he needed to accept help. Stubbornness a DiNozzo trait.
She forced his arm down and took him in her arms. He was a little stiff for 2 seconds, but then melted into her arms, burying his head on her shoulder. As Tony continued to sob, Tim awkwardly walked over to place a hand on his shoulder, Ziva extended an arm inviting him into the embrace. Tim shook his head no, feeling unsure if Tony would appreciate the gesture, but as soon as he rested his hand on his shoulder Tony pulled him in and the three stood there comforting each other. They were an awkward trio. The shortest of them had the second tallest' head on her shoulder as they held each other, and the tallest of them had his cheek resting on her head, while enveloping the two of them.
The moments they spent intertwined seemed timeless, eventually the sobs, turned to deep breaths, coughing and sniffling.
Tony took a deep breath and let out a contented sigh, letting his eyes stay shut and his head drop farther onto Ziva's shoulder.
Ziva took this as a sign to end it before he became too comfortable. She knew she wasn't staying once the case was solved and Gibbs was fine. So she didn't want to make it any harder for him than it needed to be when she left again.
"Thanks guys", Tony softly said, while looking down fidgeting, giving an embarrassed smile at both of them. His explosive release of emotions had taken him by surprise, but now he felt much better. And best of all he was ready to bury that bastard, whoever he or she was.
"Anytime", said Tim with a smile. He had really enjoyed their bonding time.
"Yes, anytime", Ziva agreed giving him a genuine smile.
"Ok, my sweet ninja, you said your dad owed you some favors? What do you say we go find this bastard," Tony said, through a mischievous grin, but his eyes were as serious as death.
