"AAAAAAHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIII! CHIGIIII!"

The weird green thing on top of my chest fell off as I jumped up and did a (MANLY!) yell, bolting into the school. I could hear someone yelling at me to stop. Ha. Fat fucking chance mother fucker.

"Holy mother fuck! What the hell was that thing?!" I panted, having probably run a mile in 2 seconds. I looked around and saw I was in a hallway on the second floor of the school. I could tell because there was a window and I could see the entire school front campus. How the Hell did I get up here?! It was pretty much empty, except for one weird brunnete haired guy surrounded by cats. Why the fuck was there a guy sleeping with cats all over him? Anyway, I looked around to see one open door, so I decided 'What the Hell, screw it.' And opened the mysterious door. I was a bit confused at what I saw: One side of the room was red, white, and blue, trash and dirty laundry every where, with an American flag and posters of players from that weird sport in America that they call Football when it wasn't football. You know, the one with the weird, oval-ish brown ball that they threw around. There were also a lot of vintage comics. Not like I read those. But that side was a disaster. I swear I could see one of the socks MOVE. That's just not otherside was very different: Classic books all lined up neatly on a bookshelf, bed made, almost everything in gray and beige and all those boring crappy colors. There were books ranging from Arthur Conan doyle to Edgar Allen Poe, and a lot more fucking heavy-ass books. There also seemed to be an electric guitar hidden underneath the bed, and many packets of earl-gray tea. Who the hell were the people who lived here?!

"Eh-hem. Exscuse me, but I do believe you're intruding into our room."

Shit. I'm screwed. I turned to see a stuffy looking blonde guy with-HOLY SHIT ARE THOSE CATERPILLARS ON HIS FACE?! I jumped a little in suprise, calming down as quickly as I could when there was a guy with eyebrows the size of caterpillars staring you down.

"Ehh...I'm lost? Your door was the only one open so..."

"Damn that Alfred! He always forgets to lock the door! So, let me guess. You're one of the new students?" What was this guy? A mind reader?! I just nodded, like an idiot. I couldn't help but stare at those damn things...

"Well then, what's your name? Its rude to go into someone's living space and not tell them their name. I'm Arthur by the way. Arthur Kirkland." The Eyebrow gu- I mean Arthur said, holding out his hand. I looked at him a little funny, but shrugged and shook his hand anyway. I mean, what the hell, you know?

"Lovino. Lovino Vargas. Under any circumstances, do NOT, call me Lovi. Or you will be put in my book of bastards to kill."

"I understand what you mean. I have a problem with nicknames as well..." Arthur sighed, letting go of my hand

"Hey Artie! Did you find my football?" Suddenly, a very annoying-sounding idiot with blonde hair and glasses popped in.

"No, Alfred. I did not." I could feel the annoyance radiating from Arthur. I'd be annoyed too, if some idiotic bastard called me that.

"Artie, who's this guy? I've never seen him before." The annoying idiot, otherwise known as Alfred, asked. I was about to reply,(rudely), when Arthur stepped in.

"This is one of the new students coming in this year. Lovino Vargas. Lovino, this is Alfred F. Jones. He's my roomate. He's also on the football team. The european kind, although, as he's American, calls it soccer."

"I'm just saying, its confusing. Why not just call it soccer?"

"Because its FOOTBALL idiota!" I shouted, "You can't call football soccer! That's just not right! Its FOOTBALL. Not soccer."

"Alright alright! Sheesh, where'd you find this guy? He's almost as grumpy as you Artie!" I was pissed now.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN?! Ill kick your ass bastard!" And I would have too, had Arthur not grabbed my arm and dragged me out the room, "What the Hell Arthur?! I know we just met and all, but that bastard needs an ass kicking! Calling Football Soccer! He-" I didn't finish that sentence(wow, how many sentences will I not finish in this story?!) Because Arthur interrupted me,

"Listen, although he seems like an idiotic ass, which he is most of the time... he's really sweet... even if he's an idiotic git... With an atrocious eating habit." Arthur had a weird look in his eyes for some reason, but it faded quickly. It looked familiar, the feeling I sensed right now...whatever, it was gone.

"Would you like me to show you around?" I was grateful for the offer, because in reality, although I'd never admit it, I was lost as fuck.

"Yeah. Can you help me find my dorm too? The directions on this damn paper they gave me are too fucking complicated." I said, pulling out the crumpled piece of paper from my pocket. All of the writing was confusing, and I couldn't figure it out. It was like it purposely DIDN'T want me to find anything.

"Oh, here, let me see..." he took the paper away from me, and after observing it for fucking ever, he nodded, "See, they gave you an older version of the school map. It's a common mistake. Here." He pulled out his version of the map, which made more sense than the piece of crap this school had given me. I grabbed it, and it took me 1 minute to figure out where my dorm was.

"How the Hell do they mix these up?"

"Bloody hell if I know." I kinda stood there like an idiot for a few minutes before I spoke.

"Well, my dorm room's 116. That's nearby. Maybe we can... I don't know... hangout? It'd at least give you a break from that idiot you live with." It's not like I wanted friends! I was just helping someone get away from their idiot! Yeah... that's it!

"I'd like that. Mathew could join us too; he's Alfred's younger brother, but believe me, they're nothing alike. As long as it doesn't involve horror movies, though. I already have to sit with Alfred while he's crying from the latest horror movie he picked up from Kiku; by the way, he's a pretty nice person considering all the idiots around here. Well, I have to go Lovino, before Alfred orders takeout again." He waved goodbye, and walked away back to his dorm. I was now alone, looking for my dorm. Shouldn't be too hard, right? Wrong. Before I could even get there, I was interrupted. AGAIN.

"Omph! Hey bastard! Watch where you're going!" I landed on my ass after walking into something that smelled of french perfume...or was it cologne?

"Ohohohohohohohohon.~ Look Gilbert.~ It is one of the new students." I looked up to see... MAJOR FUCKING PERV ALERT! This guy radiated pervertedness, almost like... I don't even fucking know! It was just creepy. The guy next to him should've had a label that said: WARNING: Major Jackass.

"Kesesesesesesese.~ Is it the same one Tonio ran into earlier? Speaking of Tonio, where the Hell is he?" The Jackass-was that a bird on his head? Okay, from now on, his name is bird-jackass.

"Ah, he is getting his room set up. Why do you think he was carrying all those boxes for Gilbert?" The perv said.

"I don't know. Hey, did you see the cutie mein bruder picked up? If he keeps it up, maybe he'll be almost as awesome as me someday~" The bird jackass- Gilbert, said.

"Hello? Ciao? I'm still here you bastards! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get to my dorm." I said with the nicest voice I could pull off when I was pissed.

"Aw, but wouldn't you like to stay with me for a bit, mon ami?" The perv said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Kesesese~ Come on Francis. You can't take all the good ones!" The bird jackass said, folding his arms.

"Ah, no. Get the fuck off me before I break your arms..." I growled, and the perv-Francis, let go, putting up his hands in feint defense.

"Alright mon ami. But I hope to see you soon.~ Come Gilbert, I want you to introduce me to the little 'cutie' your brother picked up." And after that, they were gone. Thank you God. I hope I never see those bastards again. Ever.

I finally made it to my dorm, after running into something... or someone. I swear I heard it say 'sorry...'. Anyway, off topic again. Like I said, I finally made it to my dorm:116, the place I would be living for 3 years of my life. How wonderful. I slowly opened the door, as if I was afraid of what I was going to find. I hoped my room mate wouldn't be a perv, or a jackass, or date my brother. I would kill him then. Then I'd have the room to myself, because it would be the perfect murder.

After 5 minutes with the door slightly opened, I decided to stop chicken shitting this and flung open the door. It was blinding: the entire right side of the room was bright red and a gold-ish yellow, with a few posters of althetes from the Spanish football team. There was also a Spanish flag hanging proudly- no, smugly, above the bed, which was covered in red and white pillows, and-was that silk? Holy fuck, this guy was loaded. But one thing I didn't understand about that side of the room was the empty fish bowl. Why would he need a-

"AHYEEE! CHIGII! LET GO MONSTRO!AIUTO!" I was once again attacked by the weird green scaly thing with a shell, which had somehow managed to climb up my leg, and was now biting into my pants as I cried (MANLY!) for help.

"Ay, amigo! Calm down! You're going to hurt yourself! Or Toro!" I couldn't see who was talking, but the voice sounded familiar, I was too busy fighting a scaly shelled monstro to bother listening. Before I knew it, a pair of strong, tanned arms caught me, holding me against...HOLY FUCK, was that a six pack I was feeling on my back?! I blushed, trying to squirm away, when one of the arms loosened to grab the 'monstro'. It was just a turtle. A cute little turtle. I only saw glimpses of it! What the Hell was I supposed to do!

"Fusosososo~ Looks like Toro gave you a scare! And vice versa." The arms let me go, and I turned to see a tall, tan, nicely built Spaniard, "Hola amigo. Sorry about earlier, I tripped and you were in the way. My name's Antiono by the way! Tonio to my friends. And your name?"

Mwhahahahahahahahaha! Cliff hangers~ I love 'em! Anyway, as I forgot to do it last time, I may as well do it now.

French:

Mon ami-my friend

German:

Mien bruder-my brother

Italian:

Ciao-hello

Monstro-monster

Aiuto-help

Spanish:

Hola-hello

Amigo-friend

Well, thank you for reading! Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidekez...I don't know if I spelled that right... I hope you liked it~

-HetaFan99