Chapter Two: Goodbye
"Everything's going to be fine, Tia," Nora lied, the words bitter as they dripped from her tongue. Her eyes were growing hot with tears as she forced herself to match Nate's quick strides, ignoring the way her muscles ached in protest. "Doctor Forsythe and Rachel will make you better again, you'll see! Then I'll buy you a whole box of snack cakes, or one of Maria's pies and you can eat it all by yourself!"
Tia whined softly from Nate's arms, her head lolling over the crook of his elbow. Her grey eyes were dim, clouded with pain and fear. Spittle frothed around her lips, soaking her muzzle and the sleeve of Nate's vault suit as she panted, her breathing rapid and shallow.
Despite her determination to remain strong and positive for Tia's sake, Nora felt her façade crumble. Hot tears spilled down her cheeks and a strangled sob escaped her throat. She leaned forwards, pressing a gentle kiss to her pokémon's forehead just as they arrived at the clinic.
Deep down, she knew that this was goodbye.
Nora was sat at the table in her quarters, Tia's pokéball grasped loosely in both hands. The 'urn' that contained her pokémon's ashes was set in front of her, made from a pre-war vase. It had been from a place of kindness that Doctor Forsythe had gathered her friend's remains from the incinerator, and despite the fact that it pained her to look upon it, she was grateful.
She could hear the muffled voices of her fellow vault dwellers as they went about their business in the corridor beyond, the small world of Vault 81 continuing to function as though nothing were wrong. Everyone else continued to live their lives, but it felt like hers had ground to a complete halt, trapped in a void of numbness and grief.
The door to her quarters opened with a quiet hiss, and she glanced up to see Nate enter with Lady at his heels.
The rockruff immediately headed towards Tia's bed, only to pause when she realised it was empty. She cocked her head, glancing around the room as she looked for her friend, and Nora found herself rocked by a fresh wave of grief.
She covered her face with one hand, fighting back another sob as Lady began to sniff around the room, trying to find Tia.
She didn't hear Nate approach, but moments later he was crouched at her side and pulling her into a tight hug, murmuring soothing words as he gently rubbed her back. Burying her face in his shoulder, Nora finally allowed herself to cry.
At some point Lady sat at her heels, tapping her leg with a paw and whining softly.
Finally, Nora sat back and dried her eyes with her sleeve, sniffing noisily as she turned to regard the urn once more. Nate remained where he was for a few moments, gazing at her silently before he straightened up and cleared his throat.
"A trade caravan's due this afternoon, and the Overseer's authorised the Vault to be opened when they arrive…" he trailed off, frowning as he ran a hand through his hair. "I know it's a bit soon, but… I was thinking that if you wanted to spread Tia's ashes, now might be a good time."
At first Nora didn't reply, continuing to stare at Tia's urn in silence.
But then she cleared her throat and nodded.
"I think she would have liked that," she said quietly, lowering her gaze to where she held the empty pokéball in her lap.
For a few moments Nate lingered in her peripheral vision, then he moved to pull a chair from across the table. He sat down beside her, clasping his hands in his lap and studying the carpet as though it were the most interesting thing in the world.
"I'm sorry, Nor," he said quietly.
Nora glanced at him from the corner of her eye, noting the slump of his shoulders and the set of his jaw. His long hair was a tangled mess, and in her mind's eye she pictured him pacing his quarters, running his hands through it as he tried to process his thoughts and grief.
"…It wasn't your fault," she said at length, swallowing down the bitter anger that wanted to feed off his guilt, and displace the blame from herself. "We all knew the risks of going in there."
"I knew you were going to be on duty that night, watching the security cameras." Nate raised his head and looked at her, shadows haunting his eyes. "If it had been anyone else, I knew me and Bobby would have been locked in the cells, if they hadn't thrown us out of the vault, first."
"It was still my decision to go with you, and bring Tia along." Nora said wearily, turning to face him though a frown was now crinkling her brow. "I could have left you and Bobby to it, or just done my job. But I didn't."
"You'd never have forgiven yourself if you had!" Nate cried, running both hands through his hair as his eyes began to water. "I knew that! And I was counting on it because..." his voice cracked and Lady whined anxiously from where she had retreated to lie in Tia's bed.
"It's all my fault." He continued quietly, his hands dropping back into his lap as he lowered his gaze to the floor. "I should have reported Bobby to Edwards when I saw him leave that vault… if I'd just done that, none of this would have happened. We'd still be happy, Tia would be alive and you wouldn't be sick…"
Nora's grip tightened on Tia's pokéball, but again she forced herself to swallow her anger.
"What's done is done," she said quietly. "There's no going back now."
"…Does it hurt?" Nate whispered, raising his eyes to look at her.
"I'm tired, Nate." Nora replied, rising slowly to her feet. "Wake me up when the Vault's open, okay?"
"…Yeah."
As Nora moved sluggishly back to her bed, Nate rose and walked towards the door, clucking his tongue for Lady to follow him out.
When they were gone, Nora fell onto her bed and cried.
Nora had always been against the use of chems. She had seen what long-term use could do to a person, how addiction could turn friends and families into strangers. Her skin crawled at the thought of the med-X that now flowed through her veins, but it had been a necessary evil, granting her a respite from her aching muscles so that she could carry the urn herself.
Nate was walking a little ways ahead of her, leading the way through the vault's screening area. Security had been doubled on account of the trade caravan, and the first level of the vault was a hive of activity with caravan hands carrying crates and the security team patrolling.
As they made their way towards the entrance, Nora felt the pitying stares of her fellow officers on her back, and the curious, sometimes obvious looks they were receiving from the outsiders.
She clutched Tia's urn more closely to her chest, feeling apprehensive.
Tia had been her constant shadow for years, watching for trouble and ready to jump to her defence, even when she had been nothing more than a tiny lillipup, barely standing above her ankles. Without her Nora felt not only lost, but vulnerable, regardless of the pistol at her hip and Nate watching her back.
They stepped onto the extended metal walkway that temporarily bridged the gap between the Vault and the cave outside, passing by a pair of caravan hands who were carrying pallets of tools in their arms.
It was a short walk through the cave after that, and when they emerged outside they were dazzled by the bright sunlight and clear, azure skies that soared overhead.
Immediately outside the cave was a fenced off perimeter, containing a number of wooden shacks where caravans and traders would sometimes spend the night in relative safety. It was currently crowded by a large number of caravan guards and hands, who were either watching for trouble or unloading the heavily laden pack pokémon, including tauros, gogoat and mudbray.
"This way," Nate said, leading her towards an alleyway between two shacks. When they reached the far side they turned left, following the rusted chain-link fence to where there was a large hole.
They passed by a lone mercenary who seemed to be shirking his duties in favour of a cigarette break, idly fussing the meowth that was perched on his shoulder. He watched them for a few moments before losing interest, pulling the brim of his cap lower over his eyes.
They ducked through the hole in the fence and made their way down a rocky slope, heading towards the glimmering waters of the Chestnut Hillock reservoir below. Trees provided ample cover from the road, and before they stepped out into the open, Nate checked and double-checked their surroundings for any potential dangers.
The dirt road that followed the reservoir's perimeter was deserted, and other than a few powder blue duckletts bobbing upon the water's glassy surface, there were no wild pokémon in sight.
When Nate finally gave the all clear, they stepped out and made their way to the water's edge, cautiously watching for any signs of disturbance. They had all heard the cautionary tales warning of dangerous pokémon that lurked beneath the surface, waiting to ambush unwary prey.
Nora stepped onto a rock that jutted out into the water, gazing across the reservoir to where the ruins of Boston reached jagged fingers towards the sky.
Once, many years ago, she had made the perilous journey through that city to reach Vault 81 in the company of her older brother. She tried to recall what it had been like, but only succeeded in conjuring hazy memories of towering buildings and a sense of danger.
She sighed heavily and opened her eyes, returning to the present.
"What do you say at a time like this?" she asked quietly, gazing at the urn in her arms. "Do you think she can even hear me? Or am I just talking to the wind?"
"I think the goodbye is as important for you as it is for her," Nate replied after a pause, watching her from the shore. "And if she can hear you, don't you want to tell her goodbye?"
I never wanted to say goodbye, Nora thought bitterly, but she didn't voice it aloud.
Instead she swallowed, trying to think of something meaningful to say. As she looked out across the water, one of the ducklett spread its wings and began to flap, splashing the others before it took to the air, flying to the east.
"Do you ever wonder how big the world is?" she asked, watching as the lone pokémon disappeared over some treetops.
"You know I do," Nate responded. When she turned to look at him he was frowning slightly, but his expression was otherwise unreadable.
"I wish I'd shown her more of it," Nora said softly, turning back to the water. "Do you remember that time we had a picnic above the cave? Remember how happy Lady and Tia were?"
We were, she silently added, longing to relive that moment of happiness again.
"I do." Nate nodded, his voice hoarse.
"She wasn't unhappy in the Vault," Nora continued, trembling fingers closing around the lid of the vase. "But she was happiest when she got to go outside… I wish I'd had the guts to visit the Commonwealth with her, you know? It would have been quite the adventure."
She pulled off the lid and paused, gazing at the ash and bone fragments gathered inside.
"But now she's gone, and I've got this… illness." A bitter sigh escaped her lips. "I guess neither of us will get to see what the world has to offer now."
"Don't speak like that," Nate said firmly. "Doctor Forsythe's working to find a cure –"
"We used the last cure on Austin," Nora replied dully. "When Doctor Forsythe went over Curie's data, he said that half the ingredients didn't exist anymore, so it can't even be replicated."
"We might not be able to replicate the cure exactly," Nate began, his hands clenching into fists. "But there are plenty of plants and pokémon that weren't around before the war. There's got to be something we can do…"
"There's nothing we can do." Nora said softly, sounding resigned. "The most I can hope for is that it doesn't worsen and finish me, too."
There was a beat of silence, and then Nate stepped up behind her, his arms looping around her in a loose embrace as he buried his face in her hair.
When the last of Tia's ashes were scattered over the water, Nora rinsed off her hands and led the way back into the cover of the trees. When they had climbed back up the slope and reached the perimeter fence, she stopped and turned to face Nate, shifting the now empty vase under one arm.
"There's something I want to do before we head back."
"Okay. Do you need any help?" Nate asked, watching her closely.
"It's… something I'd rather do alone," she said hesitantly, avoiding his gaze. "I won't be going far. Just up to the copse." As she spoke, she raised her finger to indicate a cluster of trees crowning the hill under which Vault 81 was situated.
Nate frowned slightly, considering the trees for a while before he turned back towards her. "So long as you take Lady with you," he said, removing the rockruff's pokéball from his belt. "She might not be much of a fighter yet, but nothing will get the jump on you while she's around. Deal?"
"Deal," Nora agreed, watching as he pressed the button to enlarge the ball before it opened in his palm. Lady appeared on the ground, bathed in shimmering blue light.
For a moment she glanced between the two of them – and then realised that she was standing in grass. With a delighted yap, she began tearing at the nearest tussock with a playful growl, throwing the grass into the air to fall around her like green confetti as Nate handed Nora her pokéball.
"Come on then, Lady," Nora called, patting her leg to encourage the rockruff to follow.
It took several attempts and cajoling from the pair of them, but Lady eventually began to follow at Nora's heels, occasionally wandering a short distance ahead to nose at rocks or plants that caught her attention.
When they reached the copse, Nora moved towards the largest tree whilst Lady went to explore a moss covered boulder nearby. As the rockruff began a simple game of springing on and off the rock, Nora set the empty urn and Tia's pokéball to one side before tearing away some moss at the foot of the tree, exposing the dark earth underneath.
Using her fingers she began to dig, grateful that the soil was soft despite the blistering heat of the day. When she had succeeded in carving out a shallow crater, she placed Tia's pokéball inside and buried it, before setting the urn atop of it.
For a few long moments she sat back on her heels, gazing at the urn before she was struck by a flash of inspiration. Reaching into a small pouch on her security belt, she removed a long, sharp tooth and used it to carve a single name into the moss spattered bark of the tree.
TIA.
Clutching the tooth in her hand, Nora sat cross legged upon the ground and silently contemplated her work.
It was a paltry memorial, but it was better than nothing.
Eventually she rose back to her feet and replaced the tooth in her pouch.
"Goodbye, Tia. I miss you."
Sniffing, she wiped at her eyes a final time before turning away, calling to Lady as she set off down the hill. When they arrived at the perimeter fence, Nora scooped Lady up into her arms, wary of the small puppy being stepped on by errant feet or hooves.
The caravan seemed smaller than before, as though some of the traders and hands had already left. Those that remained however seemed to have settled in for the night, their pack pokémon resting in a small enclosure whilst some of the hands set about creating cooking fires.
The vivid blue of Nate's vault suit was easy to spot amidst the drab, travel-stained clothing of the wastelanders. When she approached, it was to find him speaking to an older man with long, grey hair that was thinning on top.
The man noticed her approach first and fell silent, causing Nate to turn around and face her.
At the sight of her trainer, Lady began to yap and wriggle in Nora's arms, eager to greet him. As Nora stepped closer, the man turned back to Nate and caught his eyes in a piercing stare.
"If you're serious, meet me here at six a.m. sharp with the caps. If you're not here, I'm not waiting."
When Nate nodded his agreement, the man walked away, heading towards one of the shacks.
"What was that about?" Nora asked, finally placing Lady on the ground and handing her pokéball to Nate. "You making a purchase, or something?"
"…Yeah," Nate frowned, raising Lady's pokéball and recalling her without a word.
Nora blinked, surprised by the abrupt gesture, but decided against saying anything about it. She was feeling emotionally drained, and now that the med-X was wearing off her muscles were beginning to ache.
He was silent as they made their way through the Vault, avoiding eye contact and uttering not a single word. The silence was strained and uncomfortable, but Nora didn't have the energy to break it.
As they walked through the atrium, she reached down to grasp Tia's pokéball for comfort, only to remember that she had buried it under the tree. Her hand strayed to the tooth in her pouch instead, and she grasped it in her palm.
Nate walked her as far as her quarters, and she turned to face him at the door.
"Thanks, Nate."
"Yeah… no problem."
Managing a weak smile, Nora turned to open her door, when he spoke up again.
"I'll make this better, Nora. I promise."
Slowly, she turned to face him and found that he was looking directly at her, his hands clenched at his sides and eyes blazing with intensity. She couldn't think of anything to say and just nodded, before opening her door and disappearing inside.
It was late the next morning that Nora was roused from a deep sleep by somebody knocking on her door. She sat up with a groan, wincing at the aches of her body before glancing around the room, wondering why Tia wasn't barking at the disturbance.
Then she remembered, and her heart broke all over again.
The knocking at the door continued, and so she pulled herself out of the bed, covering the nightdress she was wearing with a bathrobe. When she reached the door she opened it, groaning when the harsh white lights of the corridor momentarily blinded her eyes.
She blinked a few times to clear her vision, and then blinked again.
When she had opened the door, she had expected to see Nate, Doctor Forsythe or maybe even the head of security, Officer Edwards.
Bobby De Luca certainly hadn't made the list of people she'd expected to find at her door, yet there he was, smiling at her nervously.
"Hi, Nora."
"Hi," she frowned, leaning against the doorframe. "Did you need something?"
"Oh… well, Nate said he was busy today and asked if I'd help keep an eye on you. Made sure you went to the clinic, and everything."
Nora's frown deepened at that, becoming annoyed.
"I can take myself to the clinic, Bobby, I don't need anyone watching out for me."
"Well, Doctor Forsythe kind of said that you were missing your appointment," Bobby replied hesitantly, scuffing one of his boots on the floor.
Nora blinked. "What?"
"Yeah, it's gone past noon. I was just with Rachel for the clean-up programme, and Doctor Forsythe said you were supposed to be there for half eleven…"
"Dammit!" Nora turned, stiffly crossing her room to where her pip-boy lay discarded on her night stand.
Sure enough, Bobby was telling the truth. 12:18pm.
As she wrenched open the nearest drawer, seizing the first vault suit she found, Bobby stepped into her quarters, holding a holotape in his hand.
"Nate also said for me to give you this?"
"Just put it somewhere, Bobby! I don't have time right now!"
Despite her weariness, Nora's voice held enough bite that Bobby hurried to obey, dropping the holotape on the nearest surface before he retreated out of the door, closing it behind him.
"Ah, there you are!" Doctor Forsythe smiled, swivelling on his desk chair as Nora entered the clinic. "I was about to go looking for you myself. How are you feeling today?" As he spoke, he rose from his chair to usher her towards the nearest seat, a warm, reassuring smile plastered on his lips.
"Tired and achy." Nora shrugged, sinking into the chair with a sigh. "I'm not feeling any better than yesterday… maybe even a little worse."
"Is that so?" Forsythe's smile faded slightly as he picked up a thermometer and urged her to open her mouth. "Well, considering all that happened yesterday and your insistence on scattering your pokémon's ashes outside, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised."
With the thermometer under her tongue, Nora declined to comment and glanced around the clinic instead. Forsythe's assistant Rachel was sat at her desk, typing away at her terminal and the new robot, Curie, was hovering at a nearby workbench, monitoring some equipment.
As she gazed at the robot, one of its eyestalks swivelled around to face her.
"If you could roll up your sleeve, I'd like to check your blood pressure." Forsythe said, his voice prompting her to turn to face him.
As she nodded and began rolling back her sleeves, she heard the soft sputtering of a jet propulsion, and glanced up to discover that Curie had hovered across the room towards them.
"Excuse me Doctor, but I believe I may have –"
"Not now, Curie," Forsythe frowned, waving the robot away as he fitted a cuff around Nora's arm. "I'm with a patient."
"But Doctor –"
"I said I'm with a patient," Forsythe repeated, not even deigning to glance over his shoulder.
"I… as you wish, Doctor."
Nora blinked, watching as the robot made its way back across the room with an almost dejected air.
"Honestly, I don't know what Vault-Tec did to that robot's programming, but it needs to be fixed." Forsythe muttered, removing the thermometer from her mouth before he activated the blood pressure monitor. "Now, just sit here quietly so it can take an accurate reading. I'll return shortly."
When Nora gave him a weary nod, Forsythe gave her another smile and turned away, heading across the clinic and disappearing into the storeroom.
The machine was loud, the droning exacerbating her headache. As the cuff tightened around her arm, she closed her eyes against the glare of the clinic lights, already wishing that she were back in bed.
"Excuse me."
Frowning, Nora opened her eyes to see that the robot had returned, and was now gazing at her fixedly with two of its eyestalks, the third watching the storeroom door and Rachel at her desk.
"Yes?"
"I have developed a serum that I believe shall help to alleviate your symptoms," Curie began, holding up a syringe that contained a dark pink liquid. "I tried to tell the Doctor earlier, but he was occupied."
Nora blinked. Curie's tone was somewhat stiff, as though she had been offended by Forsythe's earlier brush off.
"Is it some kind of a stimpak?" Nora asked, regarding the syringe warily.
"I have tailored the original stimpak formula to better suit your needs," the Miss Nanny stated, bobbing slightly in the air. "I am afraid it isn't a cure for your condition, but I believe it will help to improve your quality of life."
"Has Doctor Forsythe tested it yet?"
"No. I am afraid the Doctor has been far too preoccupied, but I can assure you that it is quite safe."
Slowly, Nora reached forwards and took the syringe from Curie's claws.
"Would I apply it like a normal stimpak?"
"Yes! I would recommend –"
"Curie!" Doctor Forsythe called, striding across the clinic. "How many times have I told you to stay at your workstation, and not to bother my patients?"
"But Doctor, I was only –"
"Enough! If you have run out of work to do, put yourself in power saving mode and keep out from under our feet."
"As you wish."
As Curie drifted back towards her workbench, Forsythe sighed and shook his head, turning his attention to the blood pressure monitor before switching it off.
"Sorry about that. I'm hoping that Bobby will be able to look at that robot's programming and fix it."
"Why? Has it been giving you trouble?" Nora asked, slipping the syringe into a pouch on her belt.
"In some ways," Forsythe began, raising her chin before gently applying pressure to her throat with his fingertips. "At times it almost seems to have a mind of its own, and has a tendency to disobey both mine and Rachel's orders. Like I said though, I'll have Bobby tinker with its programming, or set it back to its factory settings."
"But won't it lose all of its data?" Nora frowned, watching as the doctor began scribbling notes down on a clipboard.
"Yes, but I'll record the useful data first." Forsythe shrugged. "That way we'll have all the knowledge, and the robot can serve its purpose. They were made to be more obedient than pokémon, after all."
By the time Nora returned to her quarters, she was feeling exhausted. She lingered for a few moments in the doorway, one hand groping for the light switch on the wall. A few moments later her room was illuminated, revealing all of her earthly possessions.
Her bed was pressed against the far wall, the sheets still a crumpled mess from her earlier panic. A closed jewellery box and a few battered old plushies were sat upon her dresser, and a couple more lay in Tia's empty bed, scarred by the colourful stitches that marked them as the veterans of Tia's many playfights.
She felt her stomach knot at the sight of the empty dog bed and turned away, her eyes falling upon her small dining table… and the holotape that still lay upon it. She crossed the room and picked it up, turning the small square of yellow plastic over in her hands.
'To Nora' was written in marker on one side, the messy scribbles easily discernible as Nate's handwriting.
Her curiosity piqued, Nora opened the player of her pip-boy and slotted the tape inside, turning up the volume as the tape began to play.
At first there was only silence, and then Nate sighed.
"Hey, Nor. I uh… I don't even know where to begin. An apology, maybe?" his voice fell silent, and she could picture him running his hands through his hair. He exhaled heavily, and the knot in her stomach grew tighter, a chill chasing along her spine.
"Okay… sorry doesn't cut it. Sorry is never going to cut it…
"I hurt you when I started taking those chems again, and then you were hurt when I took you into the other vault. If I'd been a better person, Tia would still be alive and you…" his voice cracked and he choked back a sob.
"Sorry is never going to be enough for what I've done. I haven't just hurt you. I've ruined your life… but I'm going to try and fix it, and in order to do that, I'm going to leave the Vault."
Nora felt like she'd been punched in the stomach, the air leaving her lungs in a rush as her eyes grew wide.
"I know that this is probably the last thing you want to hear… or maybe it'll be the best news you've heard. I don't blame you if you hate me. God knows I deserve it… but I'm going to try and make things better.
"The cure for your condition might not lie inside the vault, but there might be one on the outside… by the time you get this, I'll already be gone, and I'm sorry if this causes you more pain, but I won't let you down again. Not after this.
"I'll make things right again. I promise."
There was a click as the recording ended, leaving Nora to sit alone in the roaring quiet.
