Chapter Two- A Helping Hand.
Mae Swan didn't look like a shrink. As she stepped into the house-Charlie's idea, he knew how much I hated hospitals- she had the appearance of an Art teacher. Her hair was flyaway, frizzy and blonde and her eccentric dress sense hinted at her own hidden insanity.
"We have the same last name," I commented, spotting her name badge. She responded with a smile loaded with an amount of patronisation I hadn't seen since kindergarten.
"Maybe we'll find we have more in common," she beamed. I doubted it. I doubted she had ever been in love with a 'vegetarian' vampire. I doubted he had ever been bitten by a vampire. I said none of this, of course, but simply smiled back as enthusiastically as I could. She sat on the sofa and began to address me, in an equally patronising tone as before.
"Your father tells me that he's been very worried about you," she said, gazing into my eyes. Her eyes were very ordinary, green in colour. I remembered back to when I had asked Edward about his change in eye colour; he had made up some crap about lighting, I later discovered the colour depended on his thirst levels. Her eyes would not change colour, they would simply bore into me until the insanity spilled out. I looked away, and when I did not answer her, she continued.
"He tells me that you've been very upset and disturbed lately," she said, trying to meet my gaze. At the word 'disturbed', I became incensed.
"Well, I've lost the love of my life and nobody cares," I snapped, curling up into a defensive shape on the armchair.
"I'm sure they do, tell me about the love of your life," she said, warmly.
"His name is Edward, but he's gone now," I replied, sadly.
"Is this the boy you've been talking about.....the boy who nobody remembers?" she asked me, reaching out a bronzed hand. Compared to me, she was practically exotic in appearance.
"Yes, because they're being stupid. I went to school with him; he was my boyfriend for months. Charlie-my dad met him several times. Edward thought that was the right thing to do before he took me out," I explained. I smiled faintly at the memory, although my insides had begun to cave in at the very mention of him.
"Why would people...not remember him?" she asked me. I sighed and stood up, running my hands through my hair.
"How am I supposed to know? Maybe he did something to make them forget....I don't know; all I know is he's gone and he's not coming back," I said, returning to my seat.
"Where did he go, and why?" she asked me, sounding interested in the answer.
"I don't know where he is," I replied truthfully. I did know why he'd gone, but I couldn't tell her that. She wrote something-probably INSANE or something-on her notepad and looked back up at me.
"I feel like you're holding back on me, Bella," she said, eyeing me.
"Do you believe in the supernatural?" I asked her. She looked taken aback for a few moments, but answered me nonetheless.
"Not really," she said, quietly. Something about her answer made me doubt how truthful she was being, but I simply looked away again.
"You wouldn't understand, then," I said, causing her to frown in confusion.
"Was he....Edward, was he magical?" she asked me, softly. I allowed myself to laugh at loud before I replied.
"He was no Harry Potter, but he was different," I replied, still smiling.
"Different, in which way?" Mae asked me, putting down her pen.
"He was a real gentleman, and breathtakingly beautiful," I sighed. I hated talking about him in past tense, as if he were dead. Sometimes I thought he may as well be, I was as good as dead to him, but then the aching began and I couldn't forget him for a second.
"How did he make you feel?" she asked me, cocking her head to one side, quizzically.
"Wanted, special... like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. He cared about everything I had to say, even it if was dumb," I said, all in one breath. She smiled broadly at me.
"You've just described the world's perfect man, every girl's dream," she commented and I blushed, thinking of the sexual dreams I'd had about him just days after meeting him.
"That's Edward," I replied, sadly. I thought of his angel's face, his perfect voice, his beautiful eyes and mine filled with tears.
"Was Edward your first real boyfriend?" she asked me, sympathetically.
"The first boy I was ever remotely interested in," I admitted, embarrassed. It dawned on me what she was insinuating and I grew defensive again.
"You think I made him up, just like everyone else does," I said, it wasn't a question. She sighed.
"I'm not saying that, Bella. He just seems too good to be true almost," she replied. I glared at her angrily for a few moments, before speaking through gritted teeth.
"If you knew....everything, you'd understand," I stammered. She looked at me with sad eyes.
"Then tell me, Bella," she pleaded.
"I can't....not yet, anyway," I replied, looking away from her once again.
"Do you want me to come back?" she asked, cautiously. I nodded; it was nice to talk to someone who wasn't Charlie.
"I'll see you next week, then," she smiled, patting my arm. I smiled faintly back at her. After she'd left, Charlie spoke to me.
"I'm proud of you, Bella," he said, warmly.
"All I did was to tell her the truth, the truth that nobody else believes," I said, irritably.
"Hopefully, this will help you, and you'll stop feeling these negative thoughts," he said, squeezing my pale hand tightly.
"Maybe," I agreed, walking to the kitchen to start dinner. As I stood over the sink, I knew there was only one thing that would make me happy and that was Edward's return. This was not a bogeyman who Charlie could chase from under my bed, this monster lived in my heart and soul, or what was left of it. This monster wasn't a monster, but a vampire I loved. And he was real.
