Petalos Machacados
Chapter 2
I know I can't hide out in the employee changing area all night, I have a job to do, one that pays pretty well, and I can't afford to lose it. I'm sure the new owners could care less if I had previously been named employee of the month before, it's not like the title gets you any more money.
But I like to succeed, even if I do not readily admit this to anyone, I am proud of doing a good job. Chloe says I take things too seriously, but from an early age, I knew that I needed to keep my emotions in check. My mother had left us to fend for ourselves and overnight I went from being a carefree child to a responsible member of our family. My dad was depending on me, and I wasn't ever going to let him down again, especially after the Lucas fiasco which almost completely ruined my reputation.
Speaking of my dad, he worked long hours then, as he still continues to do to this very, so someone had to learn how to cook and clean the house. Even if Carrie was a year older than I, in many ways she was more immature. She always was trying to find a way to get out of doing things and within two years of Marlena leaving our family, Carrie decided to go live with her birth mother Anna.
Carrie leaving provided no hardship to me, we never clicked as some sisters bond, maybe it was due to the fact we had different mothers, or it could have been that we saw the world so differently. I really don't think Eric missed Carrie either; he and I were close and who knows the twin connection we shared might have made Carrie feel left out?
Personally I was glad she had left and her visits became less and less as the years past. Over the years, I had not missed Carrie, but when Eric had left to go to seminary, it was like I was missing a huge piece of myself. I try not to be selfish, Eric is off becoming a man of God, even if I sometimes am envious of Eric's calling.
Eric is revered in our family circle, it is a great honour for him to become a priest and before long it will be time for him to take his final vows. I wonder when that time occurs if I will view him differently than the sibling I would tell my deepest darkest secrets to with one exception.
I had never told Eric about meeting EJ all those years ago and how my heart had felt like it was breaking when EJ hadn't ever called me. I was mystified for a long time afterwards because I had been sure my meeting EJ had been my destiny. Surely my heart wouldn't have been wrong, the strong connection I felt couldn't have only been one sided, but apparently my heart wasn't such a good judge of character.
He hadn't called and after a month of waiting to hear from him, I finally realized there was no call coming. At least that time, I hadn't allowed myself to be swept away and was saved a terrible embarrassment of epic proportions like Lucas had caused me. To this day, I can distinctly recall the disappointment in my grandmother's eyes when I had confessed the horrible truth to her. Caroline Brady, my dad's mother, had been a constant in my life from the start.
I promised my grandmother I would be cautious after living through such a terrible time and I would never let another boy convince me to give of myself until I was married. I am proud to say I have kept that promise for seven years, even when Rafe and I got engaged, we never did the deed.
Anytime we came close, I put a stop to things and so far it has worked well for me. I will wait until my wedding night before I ever have sex again. I look at myself in the mirror again, confident once more in myself and my decisions for the direction my life has taken me.
I'm sure EJ didn't recognize me any way and I am not going to try to get him to take a trip down memory lane. It was one conversation and one kiss we shared, nothing more.
I hear my cousins rounding the corner, giggling about something which is the norm for them, Theresa and Stephanie are two years younger than me, but experience wise with men they are far more advanced. I hear Theresa call out my name and I walk over to them.
I love my cousins, I really do, but they are a handful. Thank goodness they have me to keep them somewhat grounded.
"Sami, where did you go?" Stephanie asked as she pushed pass Theresa to get to me.
"I just needed a minute to regain my composure," I explain patiently, neither Theresa nor Stephanie have ever heard the story of the day I believed I had met my soulmate, only Chloe knew the truth, even if she didn't know what he looked like beyond my vague description I had given her years ago.
Theresa smirked, "Yeah when that hottie came in view you dropped that tray quicker…"
"Then you drop your panties?" Stephanie asked in an innocent tone that was anything but innocent since we all knew Theresa's amorous escapades.
I try to circumvent the argument that will occur if I don't say something to keep my cousins from fighting with one another. "Look Theresa, I don't even know what you are talking about. I am tired and the tray was overloaded with drinks. It slipped out of my hand, that's all."
Theresa rolled her eyes, not really believing my lame excuse; but with Stephanie baiting her with reminders of her wild ways, she decided to let it go for now.
"Anyway, we were worried about you since you weren't your put together self so we came to find you."
"Well that and we wanted to get off our feet for a few minutes, these new outfits they have us wearing along with the shoes they picked out for the waitresses to wear are killing my feet," Stephanie complained as she immediately plopped down on the bench and took off her shoes.
"You are such a wuss Stephanie," Theresa exclaimed as she twirled around the room effortlessly in her high heels.
"At least I'm not the slut of the bunch," Stephanie smiled sweetly as she massaged her feet for a few seconds before putting her shoes back on and walking over to the faucet to wash her hands.
"Please Stephanie, you're as much of a horn dog as me, if not more, only Sami can claim the virtuous spot and god knows she never has any fun unless we beg her to come along with us."
"I do have fun and I'm not virtuous."
"Sami, you've only had sex once," Theresa reminded her.
"Seven years ago," Stephanie added as she completed drying her hands.
"I'm not discussing my sex life with either of you," I began as I start to leave the room ahead of them.
"You have to have sex to have a sex life." Theresa states as I continue to walk back to the party.
"Not everyone wants to be a slut like you," Stephanie stage whispers loud enough for me to hear them and once again my cousins start to bicker about who is the bigger slut.
I shake my head and try my best to ignore them. My decision not to have sex again before I get married seems to be the right one when I hear them talk even though sometimes I wish I knew what they were actually talking about. I mean I'm not ignorant, I actually had sex once, but the way they talk it is like the greatest thing ever and for me it wasn't.
I remind myself before long I will be married and can have all the sex I want with my husband. I wish I was more excited about the prospect, but I'm sure when the time comes I will be ready. I'm even going to the gynaecologist tomorrow morning before I have classes for a check- up. I'm not sure if I will get on birth control pills, my grandmother says when you are married children are a gift from God and if it is meant to be you will be blessed to have a child.
I don't get why Theresa and Stephanie aren't afraid of getting pregnant, but I think both of them may be on birth control pills already. Neither one of them are afraid of my grandmother like I am, although they act like they are nice girls who never have sex when they are around our family.
Sometimes I hate being a nice girl…
