The Avengers weren't supposed to be there. Hell, they probably weren't supposed to ever discover where Loki's real hideout was, but there they were.

About five hours ago, they'd been chasing after HYDRA and had almost even caught them when Thor suddenly spotted Loki.

Between a terrorist organisation and a villainous god with magical powers, the team wasn't exactly sure who to go after. In the end, Thor chased after Loki while the rest of them went after HYDRA.

Even without Thor and Mjolnir, Baron Strucker's forces were no match and dispatched relatively quickly. By quickly, it meant two hours worth of chasing and brawling and then three hours of clean up.

And so, by the time Thor finally called in, the Avengers had almost forgotten that Loki was on the loose.

Forgetting their fatigue, the heroes instantly went to Thor's coordinates and found themselves busting in through some really nice doors to a Manhattan Penthouse, ready to beat some divine butt when they heard a small squeal.

And that squeal happened to come from the tiny little baby in a glaring Loki's arms, which all of them were currently staring at while Thor slowly made his way around the couch where Loki was seated to greet his friends jovially.

"My friends! I have been made an uncle once more!" The way the god beamed at them all finally prompted a reaction from them in varying types of excitement.

Tony's faceplate went up as he gaped. Clint nearly dropped his bow. The Hulk looked confused, but angry. The Black Widow returned Thor's smile warily.

And last but not least, Steve went up to Thor and held out a hand with a ready smile.

"Congrat—" He couldn't even finish as he was suddenly drawn into a bone-crushing hug.

When Thor finally released him, Steve did the thing he thought was most polite and moved over to a glaring Loki and extended his hand.

"And congratulations on the baby. Whose the mother?" Loki eyed Steve's hand as if it hid some explosive and then looked back up with an unsettling glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

"I am." Steve's ready smile faded as he processed what Loki just told him.

"What? You're kidding, right? Thor, tell me he's just fucking-"

"Well, fucking does sometimes yield such results, Barton." The bow clattered to the floor.

"...Thor? Is your brother serious?" Natasha asked.

"Aye, why would he not be? Did I not tell you that I have several other nephews and nieces?"

"...I need a drink." Steve suddenly wished he could get drunk along with Tony because really, after a long day's work, finding out that a god could get pregnant was just a little too much.

"Oh no you don't, gentlemen. Aren't you curious why Thor brought you all here?" Steve took a step back from Loki when he saw the predatory gleam in his eyes. Belatedly, he wondered if he should take the baby from Loki as well.

"Err..."

"One of you idiots is the father."

"Well, I guess that rules Bruce and me out," Natasha finally said, breaking the very awkward silence in the room.

Loki took his eyes off the gathering of shell-shocked men to look at her and smiled. It was not a very nice smile at all.

"Actually, it hasn't been unheard of for me to get pregnant from bedding a Midgardian woman." Everyone's jaw dropped except for Thor who looked confused. The Hulk suddenly looked less and less green.

"But brother...how is-"

"Never you mind. But since you are all here, why not spend some quality time with your potential son? I have pressing matters to attend." Steve suddenly found himself suddenly holding the small child, which he swear was glaring just like Loki.

The Avengers turned collectively as Loki made his way toward the exit and gaped.

"Wait, brother! Where are you going?"

"Off to Victor's of course. I'd rather not let him near my child. He hates it when he isn't the centre of attention..." And with that, the god disappeared.

"You know, I'm pretty sure we just got guilted into babysitting," Bruce observed while he hitched up his oversized shorts.

Tony muttered something and went straight to Loki's cupboards, hunting for alcohol. Clint and Natasha joined him.

Steve, unsure of what to do, took a seat on the couch. Thor joined him shortly and began cooing at his nephew, who just kept glaring at them both. Really, who knew that babies could glare at such a young age?