Title: The Unwinding Cable Car
Author: WtUnite [Chedders/Jess]
Rating: T
Pairing: Jane/Maura
Status: 2/?
Category/Warnings: Fluff/Romance, Established Relationship, Femslash
Spoilers: General TV Series spoilers.
Summary: "This isn't all about the daycare, is it?"
A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. I finally started back at work and Twin [Jess] has been horribly busy with school, but here it is.
Who knew that there were so many daycare centers in Boston? Jane certainly hadn't before today. And today she had run all over the city looking in to daycares for Jai. She had to get back to work soon, as every call from Frost or Korsak reminded.
"This is crazy, right Jai?" Jane asked the little boy who was too busy sucking on a pacifier to do anything more than look at her with his big, dark eyes. "Knew you'd agree."
Hearing the front door open was all the excuse that Jane needed to discard the pamphlets and brochures from half a dozen daycares. "Hey Maura."
Shutting the door behind herself, Maura sighed. Work was exhausting. She had forgotten how busy it could be sometimes, but this last week had been hectic. It was Friday, however, and as long as nothing big happened, the weekend was hers to spend with Jane and their son. Shrugging off her jacket and putting down her keys, she immediately headed into the living room. Pamphlets and brochures seemed to cover her small coffee table, and it was the first thing she noticed.
"How many did you get?" she questioned softly, moving around the coffee table to sit beside Jane. She took a moment to run her fingers over Jai's downy hair, smiling at her son and giving him a quick kiss on the top of his head.
Jane cracked a smile, if only Maura knew just how many daycare facilities Jane had went to today. It was a whirl-wind of different buildings and faces but all had the same spiel. "These are only the good ones. And the ones that weren't too crowded."
Fishing around in the pile Jane pulled out one that had really stuck out. Jane held out the brochure to Maura. "The Beacon Hill Nursery School. It's like college applications. There are seven spots left and when I saw the price….just wow." She wasn't sure she liked it because it seemed more like a prep school than a nursery school.
Taking the brochure from Jane, Maura continued to run her fingers through Jai's downy hair as scanned over the information. The place was pricy, but money wasn't really an option. They could afford it if it was needed. Glancing at the other papers covering the coffee table, she turned back to the one in her hand. It was the one that definitely stuck out.
"Did it look nice?" she asked after a moment. Something in Jane's tone made her think her girlfriend was hesitant about it, and if she fished, Maura knew she would find out why.
"Sure, Jai would have to be two before we can enroll him, though. I just didn't feel comfortable there." Beacon Hill was not Jane's world. The old brick building and the extensive history paired with the price put Jane out of her depth.
Reaching for a different brochure Jane held up one that actually looked like a nursery school pamphlet and not a college leaflet. "I really liked the Helping Hands Child Care Center, and they had all the things on your list: low staff/student ratio, early hours and it's close enough to everything."
Still scanning the brochure for Beacon Hill, Maura barely glanced at the pamphlet that Jane held out. She was never enrolled in a nursery as a child. The nanny that she had is one of the few things she remembers from when she was that young. Even though the woman's name is unknown, she has a vague sense of being happy during that time. Of course, Maura had many nannies and a few butlers after that woman, but none of them ever exuded the same kind of warmth.
Since neither of them can be with Jai, she wants her son to have that same feeling. It's something she has set in stone to herself, a promise of sorts. There is a part of her that knows from experience, experiences with Jane for the most part, that money isn't always the answer. The other part of her, the part that remembers how much her parents put into her upbringing, wonders how much better Beacon Hill is just because it costs more.
Speaking without thinking, because really, her mind was focused on the brochure in front of her, she didn't even spare a glance at her girlfriend. "You never feel comfortable in these sorts of places, Jane."
Putting the brochure in her hand down, she reached for the one that Jane was holding out, scanning it with equal care, but not as much interest. "Did you talk to any of the staff?"
Brows knitted together in the center of her forehead. "Of course I talked to the staff, Maura. At every place." Of course she spoke to the directors of the daycares; she wasn't going to put Jai in to a substandard daycare. And Jane didn't like that implication.
"I don't know…I just didn't like it." That was the best way Jane could say it without opening up the can of worms around the differences in their upbringings.
Glancing up at Jane, the medical examiner was surprised at the sudden change in her tone of voice. Maura wasn't aware that she had implied anything negative, and the sudden defensiveness coming off of Jane had her confused. "I was just asking a question, Jane. There's no need to get so up about it," she stated after a moment, trying to hide her own confusion by gently berating Jane for thinking that anything was wrong. Going back to the brochures, Maura compared the one in her hand to the one that she had placed on the edge of the table.
"You don't like a lot of things, Jane. I just think that Beacon Hills might be best. We could get him in, although it might cost extra," and the thought of paying extra money was not something that Maura really cared about.
Jane growled in frustration, something that made Jai giggle. She growled again and tickled him before remembering why she'd growled in the first place.
"I felt out of place there, like they were looking down their noses at me. You know how it is. And it got me thinking, what if they don't like him having two moms picking him up?" She would have crossed her arms but that isn't feasible when holding a baby
Setting the brochure down with a sigh, Maura turned her full attention to Jane. She was trying not to be annoyed with Jane, but she was already tired and stressed. Placing her hands in her lap, she tried to make herself relax. There was very little they disagreed on most of the time, but apparently this was going to be one of those times.
"I doubt they were trying to make you feel uncomfortable, Jane." she stated after a moment, forcing herself to not sound so exasperated with her girlfriend. Maura was very well acquainted with the resistant side of the brunette. Rubbing a hand across her forehead, she closed her eyes for a moment. This was giving her a headache. "We can't hide the fact that he has two mothers, Jane. No matter where we go, there will be people that disagree."
Jane sighed, this would be one of their arguments that were usually few and far between. She picked up a handful of the other pamphlets, flicking through them instead of saying something that she would end up regretting.
It took a moment for Maura to realize that Jane wasn't going to say anything. Frustrated, with herself and with her girlfriend, the medical examiner got up from the couch. "Pick where ever you want, Jane. I'm positive it won't matter what I say in the end. I'll make the check out in the morning before work," she said after a moment, turning to head up the stairs toward their bedroom. She needed some distance.
"Maura…" Jane sighed, watching her girlfriend head up the stairs. Turning to their son Jane sighed again. "I really messed that up, didn't I?" And Jai blew a spit bubble that Jane interpreted as agreement.
Standing up Jane took Jai up to his room to get him ready for bed. "Time for bed, buddy," Jane murmured, wrestling him in to his pajamas.
Even though she was angry, more at herself than at Jane, she wasn't going to entirely change their routine. Instead, Maura leaned against the doorway of Jai's room, watching her girlfriend and their son in silence. The past week had been a blur of bodies and paperwork and catching up. It didn't hurt that her father had called three times and she had ignored him. She wasn't ready, but it was starting to stress her out a little. Hence the stupid argument with the person she loved.
The moment Maura came in the door Jane knew. Whether it was a sixth sense or the squeak of the floorboards in the hall, Jane just knew. She didn't draw attention to Maura's presence and rocked Jai until the yawns became more frequent. She then put Jai down in the crib and tuned the mobile on before turning to look at Maura.
Watching Jane with Jai made her happy. It always had, even back in Colombia before they knew he was going to be theirs. Watching her rock him now made Maura relax, but only a little. She was still thinking about way too much, and when she felt the brunette's eyes on her, she looked up. She stared at her girlfriend for just a moment before she turned away and headed to their room. She felt like a basket case. One minute she was angry, the next she was exhausted, and now Maura felt like she could probably cry. Or scream. Either would work.
Frowning slightly Jane watched Maura walk away. Raking her fingers through her hair Jane decided this was the best time to start letting Jai soothe himself to sleep. With another look at their son Jane followed Maura in to their bedroom.
This time it was Jane leaning against the door as she watched Maura. "This isn't all about the daycare, is it?"
Sighing, Maura turned to look at her girlfriend for a moment before she moved to sit on the edge of their bed. "It's been a long week," she offered after a moment. Some things she didn't want to tell Jane. The detective worried enough without knowing everything. She was sure that tomorrow things would be better. They had the weekend to themselves, and there was no reason to worry about her parents or work or anything. Except that she probably would.
Pushing herself off of the doorpost Jane settled herself on the bed, behind Maura. Gently Jane started to massage Maura's shoulders, where the blonde carried all of her tension. "I know it has. I talked to Frost today; they want me back at work by the end of next week." Without stopping her ministrations Jane leaned forward and kissed Maura's neck. "Love you."
Relaxing into the brunette's touch, she let her eyes drift shut for a moment. Work without Jane was odd, but Frost had been amazing in trying to make up for her absence. He brought her lunch when he could slip away from Korsak and he did his best to drop by a few times a day to give her a decent break. It was nice, but it still didn't help her disengage entirely. He wasn't Jane.
For the first time all day, Maura felt herself smile a little. It was a definite start. "He's been doing a wonderful job putting up with all of my crazy," she stated softly, letting Jane work out another kink before she turned to sit sideways on the bed. Cupping her girlfriend's face gently, the blonde leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a gentle kiss. "I love you too."
For two women who were so different it was almost a miracle that Jane and Maura did not fight more often. But Jane, for one, was very glad that the fight was over, for now at least. They would rehash the subject again, without a doubt.
"Your crazy is cute," Jane informed her girlfriend, pulling them both down to lay on the bed, with Jane as the big spoon. "We'll figure all of this out. So just relax."
Pressing her body back against Jane's, she felt more of her tension give way to exhaustion. Lacing their fingers together, Maura gave a gentle squeeze. She believed her girlfriend, because she knew that the brunette always made things better. She kept her promises no matter what, and that made all of her problems take a back seat for the moment. Staring at the wall, she took a deep breath and exhaled, fighting against the tears that she felt gathering at the corners of her eyes.
She really wished that she could control the connection between her amygdala and her lacrimal gland. It was starting to becoming annoying.
Jane knew Maura better than anyone else did. It wasn't bragging it was just a fact. And that is how Jane knew that these were not relaxing deep breaths, these were pre-tears deep breaths. But that did not mean that Jane knew how to make Maura stop crying when she didn't know why the tears were coming at all.
"What is it Maura?" Jane asked, wrapping her arms more tightly around Maura. "Hey, don't cry. What's the matter?"
"I'm fine, I promise." she quickly reassured Jane, forcing herself to take a few more deep breaths to get everything under control. The exhaustion was starting to mess with her emotions more than the stress was. Gripping the brunette's hand tighter, she considered unloading everything onto the detective, but the thought only lasted a second. Jane didn't need to worry about her parents or how backed up she was at work. "It was just a really long day today, and I'm really tired." she offered up after she was positive that the tears were gone, or at least held at bay for the time being.
The death grip on her hand made Jane think that Maura wasn't fine. "You aren't fine, amazing sure, but not fine. Not right now." Holding Maura even more tightly Jane made a decision. "I won't ask if you don't want to tell me. But it'll be better in the morning. I promise."
"I know," she stated softly, and she did. If Jane said it was going to be better, than it was. Rolling over, Maura pressed her face against the detective's neck, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. A few tears escaped, but she managed to otherwise keep herself under control. Taking another deep breath, she relaxed her grip on her girlfriend's hand just a little. "I know." she mumbled again after a moment, pressing a kiss to Jane's shoulder.
The feeling of Maura's hot tears on her neck made Jane raise her hand to rub slow circles across Maura's back. The only thing that Jane hated more than not knowing why Maura was crying would be if she was the reason for the tears. That wasn't the case now but that didn't really make Jane feel that much better. Dropping a kiss on top of Maura's head Jane just held her girlfriend tightly.
"I'm sorry," Maura mumbled against the warm neck of her girlfriend. She'd been acting horrible about the daycare earlier. Jane didn't deserve for her to come home and start fights just because she was tired or stressed. The detective dealt with so much already and she had been nothing but amazing lately.
"Don't be. But you will be in the morning if you sleep in your dress." Jane disentangled their limbs a little before kissing Maura reassuringly. Climbing off of the bed Jane grabbed a Red Sox t-shirt of hers that she knew Maura loved. "Here," Jane said, offering the shirt and eager fingers to help unbutton, unsnap, untie, or undo.
Smiling at Jane, and laughing just a little, she moved to get off of the bed as she took the shirt she was offered. Standing with her back to her girlfriend, Maura pulled her hair away from the top of the dress, allowing Jane to see the zipper that needed her attention. Usually, it was something that she could get on her own, but it was something that the brunette enjoyed doing, and so she let her do it.
It was a part of their interaction, totally incomprehensible to anyone who was not them. But a part of them all the same.
With the zipper in her grasp Jane dragged is slowly down Maura's back, kissing the exposed skin as the zipper separated. Helping Maura push off the sleeves of the dress Jane pulled the t-shirt over the blonde's head, even as the dress fell to the floor.
Maura leaned back into Jane as she stepped out of the dress, relaxing as the shirt fell into place. This was all apart of their routine, and the familiarity of the situation was calming. Usually, she would bend down and put the dress away before climbing back into their bed, but she wanted to do something a little different. So instead, she turned her head and pressed a gentle kiss to the brunette's lips. It lasted only a moment before she was pulling away and grabbing the dress, putting it where it had to go. Feeling immensely comfortable in Jane's old t-shirt, Maura climbed back into their bed with a yawn.
"You're exhausting," she teased lightly, watching Jane with a half smile.
Already in sweats after a disastrous attempt at giving Jai a bath earlier, Jane lay down next to Maura. "I know you are but what am I?" she asked with a small chuckle.
Smiling, Maura leaned over Jane to turn off the lamp that she had turned on when she first entered their bedroom. Once their room was bathed in the darkness, she shifted until her head was resting on Jane's shoulder and her arm was lying across the brunette's waist.
"Goodnight Jane."
In the dark Jane wrapped her arms around Maura. "Night, M." Taking a deep breath full of Maura scented air. "I love you."
