Disclaimer: Nah, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin… But it doesn't mean I can't have fun with it.

Spoiler Alert! (Manga Ending!) Oh, well... If you don't read this you won't understand some points of the story...

It's like this... I haven't read all the manga yet, but I read some translations on the internet. After posting the first chapter I noticed something... I actually had in mind the end of the manga without realizing. Just to let everybody know: Sano is away, Yahiko is living at Sano's place. What I made different was: Megumi came back from Aizu. I'm not sure if I'll make Sano come back... Maybe if I think it will be funny I'll do it. Otherwise... There are just too many characters on this fanfiction. I wouldn't like to have one more to give me a headache. Even though I like Sano very much and I think he is a hunk... I mean! He is funny! Well... You will all know if I change my mind about him... I might bring him back, because of Aoshi...

*Hana-chan falls to her knees and starts hitting the floor on despair*

Why did I have to invite Aoshi for this fic??? He is just too hard to make jokes with!!!!!!! *sigh*

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"Dialogs"
'Thoughts'
*** change of scene
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Kaoru wants a baby

Kaoru was lying comfortably on her futon. She had been awake for some hours staring at the ceiling and thinking what her next move would be. She should know the garlic thing wouldn't work. It took Kenshin more than two hours to get back to their room the previous night. All she wanted to do then was sleep. 'That's what I get for listening to Misao.' Kaoru thought bitterly.

Kaoru never missed so much having a mother or an older woman on her life. Someone able to give her advice on this kind of subject. The closest thing to a parent she had was doctor Genzai. But that wasn't the kind of information she would ask him about. What would she do now?

The shouji door slid open slowly.

"Kaoru? Are you feeling well?" Asked a very concerned ex-rurouni.

"Hai."

Kenshin went inside the room.

"Really?" He insisted. "It's past nine o'clock. Yahiko is already here for your morning practice."

"Could you tell him I won't teach him today?"

"What's wrong, Kaoru?"

"I just feel a little tired, that's all." Kaoru lied.

Kenshin kneeled beside her and placed a hand on her forehead.

"You don't seem to have a fever." He concluded.

"I said I was fine! Mou! Don't you ever listen to me?!" Kaoru blurted, sitting down.

"But Kaoru-dono... Sessha..."

"Oh, I know you too well, Kenshin! You always call me 'dono' when you know you are wrong!"

"But sessha..."

"Don't you 'sessha' me, mister!"

"Gomen nasai." Kenshin said with a pained expression on his face as he got up to leave.

"Anata!" Kaoru called grabbing his sleeve.

Kenshin turned to face her.

"Gomen... Kenshin-anata. I'm on a bad mood today." Kaoru apologized. "I know you worry about me, but sometimes it's a little too much."

"Sorry."

"Stop saying you are sorry! How can I apologize properly if you keep saying that?" Kaoru crossed her arms over her chest and bit her lower lip.

"Let's stop arguing, Koishii." Kenshin kneeled next to her and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "Sessha has a good idea. Why don't we have lunch at the Akabeko today? Tae-san must be missing us. There was a long time since we last went there. You can wear that pretty kimono you bought last month. You'll be the most beautiful woman in town. I'll have to glare at every young man that decides to stare at you. But I'll be just so proud that you are my wife."

"Kenshin..." Kaoru said, softly. Then she got up abruptly, what made Kenshin loose his balance and fall down. "Where is my purple obi?"

Kaoru started looking for her obi , completely ignoring Kenshin. He took advantage of the situation to flee from the room. Once outside, he sighed in relief. Kaoru could be really scary sometimes.

"Oi! Kenshin!" Yahiko called. "Is busu getting up?"

"She is up. But if I were you I wouldn't call her 'busu' today."

"Oh! Is it that time of the month again?"

"That time?"

"Yes... That time when Kaoru gets angrier for apparently no reason at all. Are we going to eat at the Akabeko?" Yahiko asked.

"How did you know that?" Kenshin stared at the boy.

"You always treat her lunch or dinner at the Akabeko when she gets her moods weirder than they usually are. I bet you do that so she will be happy and don't kick your butt!"

"Sessha is not afraid of Kaoru-dono!"

"Yeah, right! You are going to say that she knows exactly who is the boss here?" Yahiko mocked.

"Well... She does."

"Of course she does. She is!"

Kenshin would say something, but Misao came jumping happily down the hallway.

"Hey, Himura! Is Kaoru-san up?" Misao asked.

Kenshin only nodded. Misao knocked the door, as Kenshin and Yahiko looked at her with a "poor girl" mixed with a "she is so dead" look on their faces.

"Come in!" Kaoru cried from inside the room.

Misao opened the door.

"Ohayou, Kaoru-san!"

"Misao-chan! It's so good that you are here! I need your help!" Kaoru shouted happily from inside the room.

Misao got in and slid the shouji door closed, leaving two very confused males on the outside.

"I will never understand women..." Yahiko said, shaking his head.

"Maybe they just dislike men this time of the month." Kenshin said, equally perplex, before leaving to resume his morning chores.

Inside the room Kaoru had already made a mess. In search for her purple obi, she had threw all her kimonos and obis to the floor.

"What are you doing, Kaoru-san?" Misao asked, puzzled.

"I can't find my purple obi! Where is it?" Kaoru looked like she was about to cry. "My knew kimono won't look good with any other obi! That's it! My life is ruined!"

"Calm down! One obi won't ruin your life."

"You are right, Misao." Kaoru said, stopping for a moment, just to resume her frenetic search a second later. "We are going to have lunch at the Akabeko. I just want to look pretty. FOUND IT!"

Kaoru started dancing around the room hugging her obi.

"You certainly look cheerful this morning." 'To not say weird.' Misao mentally added, with an innocent smile on her face. "So..."

"No. The garlic didn't work... Kenshin just ran away from me! I didn't realize this before... He ran away from me... Maybe I was smelling like garlic!! My marriage is ruined!" Kaoru thought about it for a second. "No. Kenshin wouldn't ask us to go to Akabeko if... Oh, my! Kenshin will tell me that he is going away! That's why we are going to the Akabeko! He doesn't want me to make a scene! I'll show him!"

Kaoru lifted her sleeves and went out of the room, ready to kick some redhead husband's butt.

"KENSHIN!!!" Kaoru called heading for Kenshin's favorite part of the house, which was coincidentally the one where the laundry tub was set. But Kenshin wasn't there. The laundry was already hang up to dry and Kenshin was nowhere to be found.

Kaoru just stood, too astonished to move. She was thinking that maybe Kenshin decided to leave without saying good bye.

A pair of arms hugged her from behind and a chin rested on her shoulder.

"Did you call sessha, Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin said, pushing her hair aside and kissing her neck.

"What took you so long?" Kaoru asked, still dazed.

"You said you were feeling tired. I thought that maybe a nice bath could make you feel better. I've already heated the water for you."

Kaoru smiled. It was so like Kenshin to worry about her and try everything to make things better. Though that moment she wasn't thinking about that, only on Kenshin's teeth nibbling her ear lobe. Her knees were beginning to give in, when:

"GET A ROOM!" Yahiko yelled. "Why do married people have to act like this in front of other people? It makes me wanna puke!"

Kaoru grabbed Kenshin's sakabattou and started chasing Yahiko.

Kenshin sighed.

***

Yahiko was shoving food into his mouth like he didn't have had a thing to eat in days. Of course, Kenshin knew he just had a big breakfast that morning. Since the boy moved away he was always there when food was on the table. It made Kenshin and Kaoru (even though she wouldn't admit it) a little more at ease in having the boy living away from home. He was like a younger brother or even a son to them. Sure, he could be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he was still a member of the family.

Misao looked at Yahiko with a disgusted look on her face. His eating manners were awful. She was beginning to loose her appetite. Aoshi just looked like nothing from the mundane world could bother him.

"Don't eat so fast." Kaoru said between bites.

"I only eat fast because if I don't you will eat all the food and leave nothing for the others." Yahiko said, spitting some rice off his mouth.

"I don't eat that much!" Kaoru shouted and the entire restaurant turned to watch the screaming girl. Kaoru was embarrassed for a second. Then she turned to Kenshin: "Tell him I don't."

Kenshin looked at his wife. Since they got married she would ask him to intervene on her fights with Yahiko, what Kenshin sure didn't think was such a great idea. He always ended up saying something that would instantly change Kaoru's anger from Yahiko to him.

"Ano... Kaoru doesn't eat that much..." Kenshin began and a smile from Kaoru encouraged him to continue. "She does a lot of exercise. It's normal that she have a bigger appetite than most women."

Yahiko burst in laugher. Misao tried to contain her giggles, but was unable to. And Kenshin never saw what hit him.

"Mou! You were supposed to say that he is wrong!" Kaoru said massaging her fist.

"Gomen!" Kenshin apologized, his eyes twirling. "Yahiko is wrong! Kaoru-dono eats as much as a bird."

"Yeah! A pterodactyl!" Yahiko mocked.

"Must I remind you who is paying for this meal, Yahiko-CHAN?" Kaoru asked, with a sardonic smile on her face. "Or do you want to wash dishes to pay for your lunch?"

Yahiko gulped and decided that the best course of action was to pretend he was a good boy for a while.

"So... Yahiko-CHAN... The cat ate your tongue?" Kaoru teased at the boy's new acquired muteness.

If she kept calling him 'chan' any longer, Yahiko would probably burst and say:

"DON'T CALL ME CHAN, YOU OLD HAG!" Yahiko covered his mouth with his hands realizing that he had said that out loud. Normally he wouldn't mind yelling at Kaoru and calling her an 'old hag' in front of the entire restaurant. But this time she had threatened him before and he knew Kaoru always kept her word. Yahiko got up, unsure of what to do.

"I just remembered I have to be somewhere else." Yahiko said, running off, almost hitting Tae that was coming towards their table.

"What is wrong with Yahiko-kun?" Tae asked to no one. Then she turned to Kaoru. "I'm sorry I can't sit and talk with you, Kaoru-chan. As you see, we have too much costumers today."

"It's okay." Kaoru smiled. "We understand."

"But you come back some other time, and we'll catch up on the gossip." At the mention of the word gossip Tae covered her mouth. "Did you know Tanaki-san is pregnant?"

"That can't be!"

"I saw her at her husband's store. She is four months pregnant. They seem so happy!" Tae said, with a big smile. "I can't stay and talk, Kaoru-chan. I have to go back to work."

"Tanaki-san is pregnant..." Kaoru muttered as Tae retreated.

"Who is Tanaki-san?" Misao asked.

"She is an old acquaintance. She got married three weeks after Kenshin and I."

Kenshin gulped. Just when he thought Kaoru was forgetting about that baby insanity someone had to bring the subject up. He knew that when they got home there would be another discussion over the subject. He just hoped he could keep his position about it the moment Kaoru gives him her pleading puppy eyes.

***

Kaoru was on her room getting ready for bed. She just couldn't believe Aiko-chan, better saying Tanaki-san would be a mom before her. She spent the rest of the day thinking about it. Jealousy was eating her alive. She thought she should be happy for them, but she couldn't help but to think: 'why not me?' That thought made her feel bad about herself. She never believed she'd be so selfish.

Kaoru never thought what it would be like being pregnant. The only thing that she had in mind was a chibi Kenshin on her arms, saying 'oro' every now and then. Of course, she knew a new born child wouldn't speak, but she couldn't help but dreaming.

She rolled up a small blanket, placed it inside her yukata and looked at herself. She looked just like a very pregnant woman. Kaoru giggled in delight. Then she placed her hands over her fake belly.

"Hello, baby." She said on a very childish voice and giggled again.

She was so amused by her little game that she didn't noticed the door opening. She only realized that someone was there when she heard a loud thud. Kenshin passed out on the doorway. Kaoru threw away her fake belly and rushed to his side.

"Kenshin! Are you okay?" Kaoru asked, on a very concerned voice.

Kenshin opened his eyes really slowly. For a second when he opened the door he thought he had saw Kaoru pregnant. He looked at her worried face and let his eyes wonder to her belly. There was nothing different there. 'I'm thinking too much about this.' Kenshin finally began to get up.

"Sessha is fine. I just got a little dizzy." As if to prove what he was saying, Kenshin wobbled to the futon and sat down.

"You look pale. Are you sure you are okay?"

"Hai." Kenshin sighed. "Kaoru-dono, could you get sessha some water?"

Kaoru left to get the water.

'My mind must be playing tricks on me.' Kenshin thought, while changing into his yukata. 'Maybe it's something that I ate... Probably it's it. I heard sometimes food poisoning makes people delusional. That's why I saw what I saw... But it's strange. I don't feel sick. I feel fine.'

While folding his gi, his eyes wandered over a the still rolled blanket on the floor. He reached for it. The blanket felt warm. A smiled crossed his lips when he realized where that blanket had been. 'She is really determined to this.' Kenshin thought. 'She will probably want to talk about this tonight. What should I do?"

He heard footsteps coming. Without a second thought Kenshin threw himself over the futon and pretended he was asleep. He could hear Kaoru coming closer to check on him. She moved away and he thought he had fooled her.

"Why are you pretending you are asleep?" Her voice sounded demanding.

Kenshin didn't move. He was so tensed up that was no way she couldn't tell he was faking. But, of course, he didn't know that. Since she didn't say anything else, he thought again that he had fooled her.

Kaoru lied next to him and started playing with his hair. That was something really relaxing. She then started kissing him on his cheek, then his throat. Then she slid one hand in his yukata, placing it over his chest slowly moving it down.

'This feels nice.' Kenshin thought, but an image of a pregnant Kaoru popped into his mind making him jump on his feet on a second.

Kaoru looked at him confused.

"Sessha... Sessha... forgot to lock the gate!" Kenshin yelled on a high pitched voice, before running from the room. 'Cold bath! Sessha needs a cold bath!'

"Not again..." Kaoru mumbled to his retreating form.

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Yes, I know Kaoru in this chapter sounds like she has a bipolar disorder (I did that on purpose). Please review and please no flames! We have a saying in Brazil that who plays with fire at night might wet the bed.

Answering a few reviews:

Sagara Sanosuke and J. Liha: I feel like I must write this down and save it on my computer... Because every time I begin a fanfiction I have to write this! Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't write lemons. Why? Because I'm too shy. Because my brother reviews my grammar. Because they don't teach certain words when we study English around here. Basically, if I ever was to write a lemon it would suck big time! I like to write some things a little daring, but I'm not going to write a lemon.

Zosocrowe: you gave me a great idea! I'll remember to mention you when I write it down... Thank you very much.

Kathie: Você disse?? De qualquer forma, ninguém nunca se cansa de ouvir que alguma coisa que fez ficou ótimo (somos todos narcisistas!)... Eu ainda não entendi como as pessoas podem achar engraçado o que eu escrevo. Acho que eu vou escrever fics engraçados até descobrir.

Crystal Okamino and omochi: the stuff about carrots having legs is actually something we say a lot here at my home. My things are always a little messy and when I can't find something, my mom says that the thing grew legs to walk away from my mess.