Dean was doing odd jobs for the priest or David as he'd been told to call him. He'd woken quite early despite his early morning call to his brother and best friend. He was cursing himself for his moment of weakness and stupidity, he wished he hadn't been so selfish. When he'd first woken up in a cold sweat from his nightmare, all he'd wanted was to hear a familiar voice. But after speaking to the two most important people in his life bar his parents, he knew what a big mistake he'd made.
He should have just let Sam get on with his life, left him alone, he obviously was getting on with his life as he'd been with Caleb. Dean was happy that Sam wasn't alone that he was at least with someone who knew him, could watch his back, cared about him. But he was a little jealous too. For him now that life was over he'd never have that again, and was damn well going to make sure that he wouldn't hurt anyone else. He was just going to stay clear of people, sure he'd talk to them just to be civil but it just hurt to damn much and it was a pain that he was tired of, hurt. If he was being honest with himself, he'd already grown close to the priest David that he'd been staying with, the man reminded him so much of the Pastor who'd been a such a guiding influence in his life, but he was planning on moving on soon, to where he had no clue but if he didn't go soon he never would. And if he knew anything about his brother and Caleb it was that they would come soon to investigate the caller that had sounded so much like the brother and best friend they cared about. He was determined to NOT be there when they arrived. He was just fixing the doors to the confessional quietly talking to David, a parishioner had got quite passionate in their last confession and had broken the door leaving. Dean had, had to repeat a statement he had used on many occasions before, ' demons I get, people are just crazy'.
" So I was thinking of moving on soon''
" Oh. Where to ? " David asked somewhat disappointed, he'd grown used to having Dean around,
" Not sure yet, just feel like its time to go'' Dean shrugged
" You can stay here if you want to Dean. There's always a place for you here'', Davids words sounded so like Pastor Jims, that Dean had to compose himself before he left his sanctuary that was shielding him from the mans prying blue eyes. He left the confessional wiping his hands on his jeans.
" Dean!?'',
Dean froze at the sound of Calebs voice, he was stuck to the spot, his voice wouldn't work and his mind was racing with what he could say. His brother and Caleb took tentative steps towards Dean who was really rocking the deer in head lights look.
" Can I help you?'' David asked, he stepped in front of Dean to shield him from view, he'd seen his young friend loose all his colour and had become instantly protective. He could hear Deans breathing pick up, it was coming in panicked gasps and although he couldn't hear it he was sure that his heart rate had increased ten fold. The older of the two men gave him a glare that could melt ice and he took a step backwards,
" Yeah you can padre, you can step the hell away from the freak behind you, and let me and my friend here do our job'' Caleb spat out
" And what job would that be?'' David asked
" None of your concern, now do the intelligent thing and step away from Dean, I mean that thing behind you. You don't know how dangerous he is'', he was looking round the Father at Dean.
" I don't know who you are young man, but no-one is going to hurt Dean. This young man has been through enough'',
" An, just what kinda bull shit has it been telling you huh?'' Caleb asked, his eyes narrowed onto Dean who took a step away. His heart was thundering in his chest, he was sure it was going to break free like some grotesque scene from the movie 'Alien'. Caleb was psychic after all, maybe he could see something in Dean, maybe he was evil, maybe a demon had got into him somehow, one that could pass all the tests he knew about. One like 'yellow eyes'. At the thought that he could be something as evil as the demon that had destroyed so many lives Dean felt his heart rate pick up even more, his breathing sped up to the point were he was hyperventilating. He knew he was panicking, but he couldn't help it.
Dean took another step back his eyes scanning for anyway to escape. He knew they'd come looking for him, he just didn't think it would all happen so quickly. He thought he may have a chance to get far enough away before they came, he had to laugh, since when had anything ever run to plan for a Winchester?
Calebs amber eyes once again zeroed in on the thing wearing Deans face, it had just given a near hysterical laugh and was searching around frantically, whether for a weapon or a means of escape Caleb didn't know, but he was going to stop it. Even if that meant putting a bullet into the stubborn priest protecting it.
" I'm telling you, you don't know what the hell he is, now step away'' he yelled, David glared, is this why Dean was so jumpy? Was he in serious trouble? Was he mixed up with the mob?
" This is still a place of worship, and still sanctuary to those who wish it. Now leave before I call the police'', the priest watched as the younger men of the two stepped forwards and placed a calming hand on the other, if David had believed it he could have sworn that the two had just communicated with each other without using words, but such things belonged in science fiction, and certainly not in a church. The younger man stepped forwards,
" We just want to talk father. Please hear us out'' the young mans eyes were sincere and pleading, David nodded,
" Very well, I'll listen'' he turned to Dean who was trying in vain to calm his breathing " Dean?'' , frightened green eyes turned to him, he reached forwards and kept his face impassive when Dean flinched, " It's alright Dean, no one is going to hurt you. Why don't you go and wait in my office while I speak to the gentlemen'',
" Okay'' Dean whispered, he gave one last look to his brother and best friend, a part of him wanted them to just 'know' that it was him, that he was back from hell, but he knew that if he was in their positions he'd be equally as suspicious. Taking a final calming breath and giving the two hunters a wide berth he made his way into the back.
" He's been with me a couple of weeks'' David said as he watched Dean leave "I think he has PTS, he's been very disorientated and suffering horrific nightmares, but that's only to be understood considering where he's been''
" What do you mean where he's been?'' Sam asked. The Father looked at the two men in front of him with exasperation, civilians they could never understand,
" Iraq, I think maybe he was in Iraq. He's showing all the symptoms of PTS, went through the same thing myself when I came back from Nam. He doesn't remember much, but it comes back to him at night, it always does'' for a moment the Fathers eyes looked haunted and lost in the past.
" Look Father..''
" David. My name's David, and you would be?''
" I'm Sam and this is Caleb. The man who you're protecting, he's….well'' Sam couldn't say anymore,
" Look padre, the thing is, that thing'' he said waving his hand towards the back were Dean had disappeared " He can't be Dean''
" And why not?'' David asked,
" Look just trust me, he can't be. There are a series of tests we can do to prove it to you, but you gotta let us through to him to perform them'' he sighed heavily " It's for your own safety''. David faltered some at the sincerity he saw in the eyes of both men,
" Okay. But'' he added when he saw the relieved look on both faces " I'm going to be with you all through this, I won't leave Dean alone'', a part of Sam was happy that someone was looking after his brother, he pushed the thought away just as quickly. This wasn't Dean. Dean was in hell burning for him, and it hadn't mattered what he'd done, what deal he'd tried to make, his brother remained in the pit.
" That's fine by us, but let us do our job'' Caleb growled " No matter what happens, don't get in the way''
" What are you going to do to him? It's not going to hurt him is it?'' David asked, he suddenly thought that maybe he had made the wrong decision, and that he had betrayed his young friend.
" If he's who he says he is, then it's not going to hurt him'', Caleb said emotionlessly " Lay on Macduff '' he said gesturing for the priest to lead the way.
Davis lead them into a back office, it had a slim cot in one corner, the walls were lined with books, Sam couldn't stop his eyes from bugging out at the literary delights before him,
" Down, Geeknstein. We got a job to do first'' Caleb quipped smirking, Sam glared at him but followed him further into the room. Dean, or rather the thing wearing Deans face was seated at the window watching the outside world.
" Dean'' David said tentatively, the young man jumped and turned around startled, his eyes widened when he saw Sam and Caleb stood with the priest, he backed further away his breath quickening once more,
" Stay…..stay away from me'' Dean said, David stepped forwards to placate his friend,
" Dean it's okay, I'm going to be here the whole time. I won't let them hurt you'', Dean raised tortured eyes to the priest,
" Will you keep them safe if I try to hurt them?'', David frowned
" Why would you even try and hurt them Dean?''
" I…..I don't know what I am'' David stepped forwards but Calebs hand on his shoulder halted any further movement. The priest glared at the hand, Caleb shook his head and jutted his chin forwards for Sam to move to Dean. The young hunter faltered for a moment, then stepped closer, dean pressed himself against the wall, terror filling his eyes,
" No Sammy. Stay back'' Sam stopped looking to Caleb for guidance before it hit him that this thing before him was posing as his brother. His brother that had cared for him his whole life, his brother that loved him, that he loved. His brother who had sacrificed himself countless times, it was an abomination that it had chosen someone so selfless. Anger bubbled up through him, he lunged forwards striking out with a silver knife at the thing resembling his brother.
Dean stumbled backwards at Sams attack, the silver knife sliced down his arm ripping through the material on his shirt but avoiding the skin. Dean wrestled the knife from Sams grip, David leapt forwards and gripped Sam tightly in his arms, Caleb drew his gun out in one fluid motion and held it on the priest.
" Let. Him. Go. Now'' he barked out, the startled priest released Sam who span around instantly facing Dean who was looking at the knife in wonder. He rolled up his sleeve and drew the blade across his skin leaving a thin cut on the golden skin. Blood blossomed to the surface, but apart from the sting of a new cut, Dean felt nothing, he looked up to have a flask of holy water thrown in his face. He spluttered and spat out the water that had landed in his mouth, frowning he glared at Caleb who was staring open mouthed now at the possibility that his best friend had in fact found some way to climb out of hell,
" What the fuck Damien? A little warning next time dude!'', David looked to Dean who sent his friend an apologetic look " Sorry David'' the priest nodded a slight smile on his face.
" Sam, the exorcism. Say it'' Sam began his recitation of the Latin verse to expel a demon, it was having no effect on the Dean double at all, apart from making him look more confused. David also looked confused,
" Just what do you think you're doing?'' he asked anger lacing his words " That's enough. Now leave us alone, I think you have your proof. I don't want to see you here again, if I do I WILL call the police'',
" It's okay David. Let them finish, I want to be sure''
" Sure of what Dean?'' David asked quietly, Dean looked to the man who had sheltered him for the last two weeks
" Sure that I'm not evil. I have to be sure'',
" Dean, how can you even think that? Son you're no more evil than I'' Deans eyes filled with tears, he still had hold of the knife in his hand, memories assaulted him of when he'd previously held one. Then he'd been ripping, tearing, he dropped the knife and looked at his hands in disbelief,
" I wouldn't be so sure of that, you don't know what I've done'' the priest moved forwards,
" You did what you had to do to survive'', Deans haunted eyes landed on the priest
" Is that any excuse?'' David sighed, his own eyes filled with old ghosts from the past,
" No it isn't. War has many casualties Dean, most of them are innocents, but you have to learn one important thing from all this''
" What's that?''
" Forgiveness'' the priest answered " You have to learn to forgive yourself''. Sam stepped forwards, his eyes filled with tears,
" Dean? Is it really you?'' he asked his voice trembling with emotion,
" I think so, I mean I feel like me, and I look like me'', Caleb snorted, three sets of eyes turned towards him,
" Yeah Deuce who'd want to copy your ugly ass'', Dean scowled
" Says you Damien. I'm still hotter than you and I've been dead for four months. Well you know not literally dead'' he said panicked to David " Just…….just feeling dead'' he winced at his poor explanation, but the priest merely smiled and gestured to Deans arm,
" Lets clean that up shall we before you get an infection, and you two, I think you should come back tomorrow''
" No'' Caleb said stubbornly, he moved forwards and pulled Dean into him, embracing the younger man tightly, Dean returned the embrace with as much force, he felt himself span around and was face to face with his brother, he went to take a step back but was pulled into another fierce hug. He held on tight, and for the first time in two weeks Dean Winchester felt truly alive.
A/N; So what ya think? Enough angst? Or not enough? Got another 3 chapters to go yet, but let me know what you think so far. Criticism is welcome but please make it constructive. Cheers guys xxxxx
