Chapter Two
Sara woke to earthy, inviting smell of freshly-brewed coffee, and the warm sunlight trickling through the gap in the curtains. It took a few moments for the pain to hit, and a few moments more for her to remember why. The few seconds after she had woken, she realised, had probably been the best of her day. She had been any other person roused from their sleep by sunlight and coffee, and now she was back to being a rape victim.
She stayed where she was as the pain in her ribs took hold again, and the knowledge of her attack grasped her mind with dark tendrils. She was still sleepy -a side effect of the pills she supposed- but she wanted to get up now. She tried to push herself into a sitting position, and pain shot up her side in a fiery wrath. The cry of pain that escaped her lips was involuntary, but it was enough to get Nick's attention. He seemed to be at the doorway instantaneously, a worried look plastered on his soft features.
"Sara? You okay, sweetie?" She could feel the tears prickling her eyelids, and she was ashamed for it.
"I can't sit up." She choked, hurriedly trying to wipe her eyes with the back of her hand. "It hurts." Nick moved forward, and inexplicably, Sara flinched. This too had been involuntary, some sort of core reaction that had apparently developed overnight. Nick backed away, looking at her with wide eyes, as if he didn't recognise her.
"I'm sorry," He said at once, coming to a halt and standing as still as stone. "I didn't mean to scare you." Sara shook her head, trying to feign a smile at her friend.
"You didn't. I don't know where that came from." Nick's smile looked equally as strained as her own. "It wasn't you, it was me, I swear." She reached out an arm, and he took the outstretched hand.
"Do you want me to help?" He asked tentatively, inching forward once more. Sara nodded, and forced herself to be still as he lifted her up to a sitting position.
"Thanks, Nick." This time his smile seemed more genuine.
"I made coffee. I'll bring you some, and a pain pill. Might take the edge off, so it'll be easier for you to get up." He fetched her a mug as promised, and watched as she took the tablet. Sara shifted over, and Nick sat next to her, gently draping an arm round her shoulders. She tried to smile again, but it was hollow, and her eyes didn't twinkle as they usually did when she was happy. He didn't know what to do, how to make her feel better, other than to just be there and hope that she might open up at some point.
"Can you pass me my cell? I switched it off last night at the hospital." Nick did as he was asked, and as the phone powered up it started to vibrate with missed calls, voicemails, and texts. The majority were from Catherine. Sara sighed heavily, putting the cell against her ear to listen to one of the messages she had left. "She wanted me to come in," She told Nick, pressing a button to delete the voicemail. "I guess because you called in sick. What am I going to say to her?"
"I don't know," Nick confessed after a moment's thought. "I didn't think about that to be totally honest. And I don't know what to tell them about me covering you tonight either."
"Maybe I should just go in, make something up about last night." She suggested, fiddling with the cell as if she needed to do something to make the conversation feel less tense.
"You can't go into the field like that Sara, and I don't think Catherine would give up questioning you about why you have a dozen stitches in your face. If you really wanna go I won't stop you, but you need to consider whether it'd be too tough on you." She looked as if she was going to make a retort, and he held his hands up as if to surrender. "I know, I know; you're a strong person. But what happened to you is a life-changer, Sara. You don't need to decide right now whether you want anyone at the lab -other than me- knowing about it, but let's pick your battles, decide what you want to do day-by-day at first, before you tackle the big decisions." She looked thoughtful.
"Right now, I think what I want to do is get dressed," Sara said eventually, setting her mug down and grimacing. "I think now the shock has worn off, the pain is worse." Nick watched her as she tried to keep her facial expression neutral, but she couldn't hide every sign. The clenching of her jaw, for instance, and the way she curled her hands into fists were complete giveaways. He knew his friend well enough, after years of working together, to know when she was in a bad way.
"I'll help you," He said softly. "I'll close my eyes, whatever you want, but I don't want you to make things worse by doing too much before you're ready." Sara looked for a moment like she wanted to argue, but when she tried to stand she winced, unable to pass off her cry of pain as anything else. She nodded dejectedly, allowing Nick to help her into the clothes the hospital had given her the night before. He moved round so as not to see anything she wouldn't want him to see, but couldn't miss the awful bruising around her rib cage. She looked pretty terrible; covered in cuts and bruises as she was, and deathly pale with large circles under her doe eyes. Nick imagined that he himself didn't look any less tired- he had been up half the night, after all.
"Smells like antiseptic." Sara murmured as Nick helped her to feed her arms into the sleeves. He nodded, having noticed that himself.
"Maybe we could go to your apartment in a bit, honey. Pick up some stuff that you'll need while you're here." She looked at him in surprise. "What?"
"Oh, it's nothing," She struggled to bend down to put on a sock, sighing in frustration when she realised that it wasn't going to happen. "I just thought..." Nick carefully pushed her down so she was sitting on the side of the bed again, and slipped the sock over her foot.
"You thought I'd want you out of here?" He didn't sound angry -nor even mildly irritated- yet she still looked away, avoiding his gaze.
"Yeah." Nick reached out, lifting her chin so that their eyes met.
"I want you to stay here, Sar.- don't you get that? I'm glad you're here. Besides, this is a new experience for me." His face split into a wide grin. "Usually if a beautiful girl's here, I'm knocking her socks off, not putting them back on!"
No matter how much he cajoled, Nick wasn't able to get Sara to eat anything. She said she wasn't hungry, that she felt nauseous because of the pain meds, but he suspected that it had less to do with the painkillers and more to do with her ordeal. He wouldn't push her, he decided, not unless he had to. Instead, he fetched her coffee every so often, figuring that it was better than nothing at all. He had taken her to her apartment to pick up some essentials, and they were back at his when her cell rang. She glimpsed at the caller ID before flipping the phone open.
"Hello?" Nick could make out the static noise of a person on the other end of the line. Wanting to give Sara some privacy, Nick scooped up their coffee cups and took them through to the kitchen, checking his watch. He needed to be back at work in nearly three hours, so he opted to take a quick shower while Sara was on the phone.
Letting the jets wash over him, he turned slowly on the spot, running his hands through his short hair. 'What a goddamn mess,' He thought, closing his eyes. As a criminalist, he obviously wasn't blind to the statistics. Around 20% of women experience rape or sexual assault in their lifetime, and in the majority of those cases, very few offenders were ever caught- either due to the case not being reported, or failings in the judicial system. Nick knew all of these things, but he had never thought that one of his co-workers, a close friend, could be affected. It just didn't bear thinking about. Only now it had happened, and Nick had no idea of what to do, or how to help.
It made him feel sick to his stomach, it made him sad, most of all it made him angry. The thought made his heartbeat quicken, it made his jaw clench. He was powerless, really, but he was going to hurt the fucker that hurt his friend, and he was going to hurt him bad.
He took a few deep, calming breaths. He would not let Sara see him like this; he would not frighten her as he had just a few hours ago. True enough, that had been accidental- she had flinched because he'd moved towards her too quickly, and he would be careful not to make that mistake again. But if he were to lose his temper in front of her, it could destroy the trust that he so badly wanted her to have in him, and he couldn't let that happen. He stepped out of the shower, dressed quickly, and forced neutrality into his expression before he went back to the sitting room. Sara had finished her call now, and was sitting with her knees tucked up to her chest on the sofa, cell still clutched in her hand, deep in thought.
"Sara?" She jumped, but smiled at Nick as he moved towards her. He returned the gesture, sitting down in the armchair opposite.
"That was Doctor March. I, uh, I guess she found someone for me to talk to. Gave me a number so I can call them to set up a time." He nodded, glancing at the notepad he always left on the coffee table, now bearing a phone number.
"Do you want to?" He inadvertently held his breath. Sara had been incredibly brave thus far, but talking to a police officer, a stranger, could be the tip of the iceberg for her. She shrugged, picking at the cuticles of her fingertips.
"I'm not sure. I think so, but," She inhaled deeply, and breathed a shuddery sigh. "I wish this could all just go away."
"I know, sweetie. Sooner we get this over with, sooner you can get on with your life." He knew that had been the wrong thing to say as soon as the words had escaped his lips. Sara flinched as if he had struck her, dark eyes filling with tears that she swiped at irritably. Nick knew that no matter whether she talked to an officer or not, her life would never go on as usual. This would always be hanging over her like a dark cloud in a storm.
"I'm sorry," She whispered, still refusing to let her tears fall. "I don't mean to be a burden." Nick kneeled in front of his friend, taking her hand in his own.
"You are anything but a burden, Sar. I didn't mean to upset you- me and my fat mouth, hm?" His words had coaxed a tiny smile from her lips, and Nick matched it with one of his own.
"Who will analyse the," Her breath hitched in her throat. "The results?" He thought for a moment.
"Maybe another lab; the closest nearby. We'll ask the officers tomorrow if they can have March submit you as a Jane Doe- that way no one need know. Okay?" This seemed to relax Sara a little.
"Okay."
As soon as he came face to face with Catherine, Nick could tell that she wasn't in a good mood. Her eyes narrowed as they swept over him, and her tone was a little sharp when she spoke.
"I thought you were sick?" He shrugged.
"I got better."
"Isn't it your day off tonight?"
"I'm covering for Sara."
"Why?" He shot back answers to all her questions as if they were playing a verbal tennis match, and Warrick, who had entered the briefing room moments earlier, watched the exchange with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm doing her a favour. Does it matter?" Catherine shook her head in defeat, and turned towards Grissom. He was sifting through the papers in his hands, his brow furrowed in concentration. If he had noticed that Nick was there instead of Sara, he hadn't mentioned it. Nick supposed that he had noticed -it wasn't like him to miss anything- but he was glad that he wasn't being questioned a second time in the space of a few minutes.
"Warrick, you and I have a 419 at Excalibur Hotel- bellboy found dead in a suitcase." Warrick sucked in a breath through his teeth.
"Not much of a tip." He quipped, and Nick smiled.
"Catherine, Nick, a 418. The heiress of a casino tycoon has disappeared. The mother went to her address in Summerlin and found the front door unlocked with signs of a struggle- no ransom note. Start there." Grissom passed a sheet of paper to Catherine. Nick usually enjoyed working with her, but tonight the thought made his stomach lurch. Sara and Catherine, although amicable enough, had never really been close, and Nick got the feeling that the latter was not going to drop her questioning over why Nick was working tonight instead of her.
Back at Nick's apartment, Sara's head was leaden with thoughts. Recollections of last night buzzed through her mind like a hornet hive, and the silence that surrounded her seemed to press against her ears as though she was being crushed. She drifted around from room to room, unable to settle. She was alone for the first time in almost 24 hours, and the night was still young. She wanted to take a walk around the block to try and clear her thoughts a little, but she was scared. Without Nick there, she was as vulnerable as she had been when her attacker had grabbed her the previous night. She couldn't let herself be that vulnerable again.
Unnoticed by Nick, Sara had picked up her emergency stash of cigarettes when they had stopped by her apartment. She had quit a long time ago, but occasionally she found that after a difficult day, or a horrible case, the nicotine buzz she got from a cigarette would see her through the night. She felt she needed to smoke one now, and headed to the balcony. There was a deck chair out there, and she lowered herself into it as she shook a marlboro from the packet and lit up, inhaling deeply and watching as the tendrils of smoke curled in the air.
A/N: Thanks for reading, and sorry for the wait.
