Chapter One
One thing that you learn from tragedy is the incredible loneliness that comes when you're the only one left after the world crumbles to dust. My world had crumbled to dust six months ago and I was still struggling to find a solid place to put my feet so I could start putting the pieces back together. My handler, Fran, assured me that things would get easier, I would make new friends and find my place in society under an assumed name. Easy, she thought, when everyone I'd ever loved was either dead or completely out of my reach. When I couldn't even be myself, couldn't touch a piano for fear someone would look too close and see Christine Farlow and not Chrissy Radcliffe.
"We'll catch him, Chris, I promise. Just be patient with us."
I could still hear the FBI's Agent Marcus Franks' voice echoing in my head, pleading for patience. It wasn't a virtue I had cultivated. I had always done things on fast forward, as if somewhere in my subconscious I knew that time was a precious thing that couldn't be wasted. I had learned that the hard way, so it was even harder to reign myself in now.
"Welcome to Dartmouth. In front of you, you'll find class schedules, residential assignments and admission packets. You've got everything in there to get you started. Tour's over, freshmen. If you have any questions, feel free to hunt me down." Our tour guide was a perky senior with a wealth of blonde hair and great big blue eyes. She looked like the perfect Ivy League pin up model, paragon of virtue and obviously the sweetheart of some rich, handsome male specimen just waiting for her to finish her liberal arts degree so she could become his trophy wife. I could almost envy her. I gathered the things in front of me and shoved them into my backpack, all except the residential assignment.
"Hi."
The quiet voice to my right caught my attention and I turned. I blinked in surprise to find a girl beside me. Not a young woman, but a girl. If she was more than 14 years old, I would request a new pair of contacts from Fran. Not only was she young, she had the face of an angel. I swear it glowed from the inside and her deep brown eyes were mesmerizing. Her hair was a shimmering mass of bronze curls that gleamed in the shafts of sunlight coming through the window of the classroom. She kept that hair pulled in a curtain around her face, as if she was hiding from everyone in the room but me.
"Hello, hi." I smiled down at the girl curiously. She was the first thing to break through my zombie-like progression through student orientation.
"I'm Renesmee Cullen. Did you mind if I introduced myself? I'm just a little overwhelmed." Her voice was musical, but her tone was uncertain.
"No, not at all. I'm Chrissy Radcliffe. Are you a student here?" I asked this softly, my gaze flickering around the room as the rest of the freshmen class began to disperse. I let my eyes rest back on Renesmee and I smiled again. She returned my smile with a flash of perfect white teeth.
"Yeah. I know, I'm pretty young. But I'm legit. I've decided to ask my parents to frame my acceptance letter so that people will believe me when I tell them that." She laughed softly, the sound causing a few heads to turn in our direction. I cringed inwardly, but I was intrigued enough by this small, beautiful person to continue our conversation.
"You must be very intelligent, then. What are you majoring in?"
"I'm in pre-med. You?" She lifted her face towards me, exposing more of her pale face to the room. Most of the people were gone now.
"I'm...undecided at the moment. I'm leaning towards music." I answered truthfully. Of course, the only class I had this semester connected to the arts was women's glee club. I had been told I could be suitably anonymous in such a large group. When Renesmee suggested we compare schedules, I was shocked to see we shared that class and one other, a Creative Writing class in the evenings. I grinned and felt something inside me relax. I finally knew someone on campus.
"I'm so glad I finally know someone besides my family here." Renesmee said, echoing my sentiment as we walked together out of the classroom and then out onto the Green, the large grassy area that served Dartmouth's students for everything from picnics to sporting arenas. I noticed a few pairs of eyes following us as we past, but for once it didn't make me feel paranoid. Renesmee was a strangely beautiful, incredibly young student who would undoubtedly draw attention, but it would be focused on her and not any of her companions.
"Oh, your parents live in Hanover?" I wouldn't have let something this precious out of my sight for long, if I were them. She grinned, flashing perfect white teeth again.
"My family has a house up in the mountains. My brother Edward and his wife Bella are going to be students here, too, but they're taking mostly night classes. We are all taking that Creative Writing class together, so you'll get to meet them. Where does your family live?" Her question caused a sharp pang and I had to turn my head to hide it. She noticed anyway.
"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong? I wish my da…brother were here. He never says the wrong thing. Do you want me to go away now?" Her voice was very quiet, full of distress. I swallowed and shook my head.
"No, no, don't leave. I just…lost my family recently. It's hard to talk about. So, who's picking you up?" I changed to subject quickly and her smile returned.
"Jacob is waiting for me. Would you like to meet him? He's my best friend." She led me towards student commuter parking. It was a long walk, so we continued to chat, mostly her telling me about her family.
"Bella and Edward are more like my parents than my sister and brother. Very protective, really. And they are so in love. I hope I'm that in love when I get married." She said quietly. We were approaching the lot now and as I considered her words, a giant of a man folded himself out of a dark green Jeep and approached us. Obviously of Native American heritage, he loped more than walked. He couldn't be much shy of seven feet tall and his dark hair was cut into a longer, shaggy style. Something about him screamed predator and danger, causing a tingle down my spine, yet the expression on his face when he looked at Renesmee was a curious mix of adoration and confusion.
"Jake! I found a friend. This is Chrissy Radcliffe. We have two classes together." Renesmee was obviously pleased with herself. Jake moved in and rested his hand on the young girl's head, his long fingers trailing through her curls gently. I was shocked by the tender way he touched her. He didn't look much older than 17 or 18, despite his size. Renesmee had said he was her best friend. I decided quickly that it wasn't my business and gave him a shy smile. He looked at me warily for a moment and then nodded his head.
"Nice to meet you, Chrissy. Thanks for watching out for Nessie." His voice was deep and quiet, like his eyes. His obvious implication that Renesmee needed a keeper made the girl duck out from under his hand and stick her tongue out at him.
I laughed, "It was a mutual thing, I promise. It is nice to have a friend. I didn't know anyone before she introduced herself. But really, I'm probably keeping you both and I need to go find my dorm room."
Renesmee frowned and then looked up at Jacob. "Oh, yes, well. Do you think it's too early to invite her for dinner?" Jacob snorted and grinned.
"Ness, I don't think your pa…family would like that, if they didn't have time to prepare first. Let her get settled in and if she still likes you on Monday, we can think about it." Jacob's voice was amused and I reached out tentatively to touch Renesmee on the arm.
"Really, I need to go get my car unloaded at the dorm and settle in. I need to find out who my roommate is so I can get to know them, too. But I promise we can hang out on Monday. I can't wait to see you in glee club. What part do you sing? I'm guessing first soprano. We can sit together in the section." Three things I usually noticed about a person first off. Their voice, both pitch and tone, their hands, and whether or not they posed any threat to my life or the people in it. The last thing was an ability I'd always had. Unfortunately, I had gotten too good at ignoring that odd sixth sense up until about a year ago, when I had learned to trust that uncanny sense of danger during the nightmare with my stalker. I still hadn't been able to save my parents.
Renesmee seemed mollified by my promise to hang out with her on Monday and we said our goodbyes. I couldn't help smiling as I tried to remember where I'd parked my unassuming old Buick. It had plenty of room for packing a girl away to college, but I really didn't have much to unpack. My last few months had been spent tucked away in a safe house. I had a handful of clothes, a few books and my notebooks for composing. I hadn't been allowed to bring the small keyboard from the safehouse, not that I'd lamented leaving it. Everything I'd tried to create the last few months was all very dark, clashing. Nothing I wanted to pursue. But now, Renesmee had inspired me. I grinned triumphantly. I couldn't wait to get settled so I could play around with notes, keyboard or no keyboard.
****
My weekend was uneventful. I wasn't speaking to Fran at the moment. The FBI had decided it would be 'safer' if I didn't have a roommate. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised, but in rebellion I had purchased a keyboard when I'd gone shopping for bedding and other usual dorm things, like a microwave and a small fridge. It was one of those keyboards you could put headphones in, so no one would be able to hear my compositions. I spent most of my time Friday, Saturday and Sunday writing Renesmee's song.
For the first time in six months, I woke up excited. I had two morning classes on Monday before glee club, so I sat through them as the teachers introduced the classes and gave us syllabi. I got out of both classes very early, as most of the students didn't have their books yet. I still had some time before glee, so I headed back to the dorm to make a sandwich and change my clothes.
As I brushed my teeth, I studied my reflection in the mirror critically. My thick auburn hair was caught up in a pair of pigtails, curling around my shoulders. I had always worn my hair shorter, so the length was hard to get used to. The length and style made me look younger than my 19 years, so they were deemed worthy of my 'disguise'. My eyes were brown due to contacts I wore to hide the more noticeable pale green they really were. They were lashed thickly and the shadows under them spoke of a multitude of sleepless nights. My skin was pale and nearly flawless, sprinkled with a dusting of freckles. It was a pretty face, surprisingly enough, and my figure wasn't too bad either at a lush size ten. I had never been pretty before, always fighting with about fifty pounds of extra weight and a nasty case of acne through my teenage years. Ironic how tragedy had changed me so much on the outside as well as the inside.
I sighed and grabbed my latest composition notebook and shoved it into my backpack along with a bottle of water before running for the door. I walked into the Hop, the Arts building, and beelined for the large choral practice room. I stood in the door, looking around. I was one of the first people to arrive. A quiet question to the graduate student hovering at the piano got me a score and a general idea of where each section was located. I was trying to decide where to sit when I heard an excited exclamation from behind me.
"Chrissy! Hi!" Renesmee was just as bright and beautiful as I'd remembered. She had her hair pulled back today, her face drawing stares from the handful of girls already here. I smiled and drew the young girl to the piano so she could get her score. The grad student, who hadn't done more than smile half heartedly at me, perked up and introduced himself to Renesmee eagerly.
"Hi, I'm Ted Morris. Welcome to glee. I heard the rumors that we had a real genius prodigy on campus but I'm surprised to see it was true." I saw Renesmee's smile slip a little and she blushed crimson. My danger sense hadn't pinged so I figured the man was harmless, but he didn't have much tact. I rolled my eyes at him as Renesmee responded.
"Renesmee Cullen. Um…thanks." Then she took my hand and dragged me into the soprano section, all the way at the top of the risers. She was incredibly strong for such a frail looking person. "Sorry, I don't like drawing attention to myself."
"Actually, I completely understand. So, how was your weekend?" I tried my best to distract her from her discomfort. It seemed to work, because she started talking about a hiking trip she and her family had taken up in the White Mountains. I let her talk quietly as the risers began to fill up. A few of the girls around us introduced themselves then and we exchanged generic personal information until the class began. It took the whole hour for Ted and Dr. Jorgen, our instructor, to listen and rearrange the sections to their liking. Luckily, Renesmee and I had similar tones. She had the end chair on the first row and I had the end chair on the second row.
"Carmina Burana…it's a challenging piece but a fun one, I think." Renesmee's insight about the piece we were doing surprised me. Most people, even those that claimed to enjoy music, wouldn't have known anything about Carmina Burana, expect perhaps to recognize the 'O Fortuna' theme as a popular choice for action movie soundtracks. The two of us were walking towards the student life center to hit the bookstore. We both had a couple of new books we needed for classes and Renesmee mentioned that she was hungry.
"Yes, I love the whole production. So, where's Jacob today?" I held the door open for her. She shrugged as I fell back in beside her.
"My…Edward dropped me off today. Jacob is starting a new job. He's a mechanic. It gives him something to do while we're all in classes. I'm supposed to call Edward as soon as I'm done getting my books. Our class isn't until six, so I have about four hours to kill." She smiled as we entered the bookstore. We separated for a few minutes, looking for different things. I met back up with her outside the store. She was sitting on a bench with a cell phone to her ear.
"…can take care of myself. Besides, Chrissy is here. No, I haven't asked…" Renesmee looked up to see me and grinned. "Do you mind if I hang out with you instead of my brother?"
I shook my head. "I don't have any other classes until six, either." I stood by while Nessie confirmed with her brother that she'd meet him and Bella a few minutes before our mutual class. Then she dragged me across the Green to a little café where she ordered herself lunch. I wasn't really hungry so I just ordered a glass of tea.
"So, do you mind me asking about your family?" She asked between bites of her steak sandwich. I was quiet for a moment before shaking my head.
"I'm all alone, actually. My parents are…dead. My brother and I aren't on speaking terms at the moment. I really miss them all. My parents were wonderful. So supportive and they encouraged me to try anything. Not that we didn't have our arguments. They hated that I traveled so much, thought I needed a more normal teenage life. I wish I'd let them win that argument towards the end…" I trailed off, realizing I was probably saying too much. I stared into my glass of tea with a glum expression. Renesmee reached out and touched my hand with her own warm fingers.
"I'm sorry. That sounds lonely. I don't know what I would do without my family. What about friends? Any of those you can call if you're really sad and need someone to talk to?" She asked so hopefully that I almost hated to shake my head. Most of my 'friends' were employees of my record label, my agent or other musicians who were closer to my parents' age than mine. My brother was my best friend and I wasn't allowed near him right now. Nessie studied my sad smile for a long time before smiling broadly.
"Well, I can be your best friend, if you'd like. I really don't have any friends either, besides my family. Maybe I can share my family with you too. I think you and my…Bella will really get along. I can't wait for you to meet her tonight. So, what shall we do today?" I was looking at her with what had to be a dumbfounded expression. I shook my head a bit and then laughed.
"Well, I…okay. Um…there's supposed to be an Outing Club here. Want to head over there and see what that's all about? You mentioned your family likes to hike, so maybe if I have you to motivate me, I'll actually do some stuff like that. I really do need the exercise." My suggestion was a good one obviously, because Nessie, as I was instructed to call her, finished her lunch in record time and we headed out.
By the time six o'clock rolled around, I was completely in love with young Nessie. She had such a bright outlook that you couldn't help but smile when she was around. My maternal instincts kicked in any time someone approached us, curious about the young girl. I was only five years older than her, but her sweet personality and air of naiveté made me want to protect her. I couldn't understand how her parents could allow her out of their sight on campus for hours at a time. I wondered why she had attached herself to me so firmly. It really made no sense, unless she was one of those rare empathic souls that just knew when a person needed a bright soul to distract them from lonely existence.
"Nessie." The musical voice behind me made my danger sense ping weakly, like it did when I was driving too fast on the freeway and I knew if I didn't slow down my chances of ending up in an accident were pretty good. I'd felt that when I'd met Jacob on Friday, but this particular reaction happened so often, I'd learned that it was more of a warning to approach with caution than a warning for impending doom.
We were already seated at one of the tables scattered around the large classroom. They were set up for groups of four students. I looked up as two of the most astoundingly beautiful people I'd ever seen settled into the other seats at our table. I shouldn't have been surprised, since I'd been looking at Nessie's beauty all day. It was the girl, Bella, who settled to my right and her husband Edward across from me, his back to the front of the classroom.
"Hi, Bella." Renesmee addressed the girl with a grin. Strangely, I'd noticed a slight hesitation whenever she'd called her sister in law by name all day, but now she said it almost as a challenge. I noted the resigned look in the girl's golden eyes and wondered if there was some jealousy between them. I hadn't noticed it when Nessie talked about Bella. In fact, I was sure she loved Bella very much.
Bella's skin was white. Not just pale, but lily white, with ruby red lips and a perfect complexion framed by a wealth of dark brown hair. Snow White, I thought, and her equally snowy Prince Charming. Edward had the same white complexion and beautiful features, but his hair was a match for Nessie's bronze locks, though cut short and without the curls. The pair of them were about my age, though Bella looked a little older than Edward. He was probably as smart as his sister, so I wondered if he'd skipped a grade or two in school himself.
"Aren't you going to introduce your friend, Nessie?" Edward wore a brilliant smile as he looked at me, his eyes sparkling the same golden shade as Bella's. How odd, I thought, but was distracted by Edward's beautiful voice. Another thing he shared with his sister. I looked down at Edward's hands and noted the beautiful, long fingers and had the overwhelming urge to ask him if he played the piano. They were musician's hands. I saw those hands twitch, almost as if he knew what I was thinking. I turned my head back to Nessie as she introduced me to her family.
"Edward, Bella, this is Chrissy Radcliffe. She and I are going to be best friends this semester." She sounded very smug. I caught a concerned glance that passed between Edward and Bella then, and Nessie's face set into a determined frown.
"Nothing is going to happen to her." Nessie mouthed this at Edward. She'd spoken fast, but I was a good lip reader. It came from days in the studio when I would watch the producers through the glass when they were discussing my music without consulting me. I hated not knowing what people were saying about my music and so I'd learned quickly. I had no time to think what she could possibly mean when my danger sense began pinging wildly, so hard that I actually cringed. Our teacher had just entered the room.
