American Pie chapter 2 - Psychopaths, Hot Sauce, Flies, Oreos

I do not own Harry Potter, Hot Sauce, Oreos, or American Pie

I sat down at the Three Broomsticks and ordered a Butterbeer from Madam Rosemerta. While she was getting it, I glanced around the bar and my eyes landed on a Hot Sauce container. I shook my head ruefully and wondered why fate was deciding to remind me of my friends. I mean what were the chances that there would be a hot sauce bottle in a bar anyway? And from that, what were the chances that my eyes would land on that and be caught in that memory.

It was in the beginning of our first year, and we had Pizza for Lunch. It was delicious. But then I noticed that my friend was putting Hot Sauce on his slice! I had always disliked Hot Sauce because I don't really like spicy things. And I was confused, why would you put Hot Sauce on Pizza? But there he was, doing it. Don't say it! So I asked if it was good and he said yeah. Well his word was enough for me. I decided to try it and it was delicious. So that's how I had my pizza for most of my Hogwarts education. Of course I still didn't like Hot Sauce, so if I put too much on there, was a commotion. My friends thought it was hilarious, but I didn't really think it was. Of course this was because my mouth was on fire.

Oreos. Man if I knew what was going to happen I never would have considered buying them. I mean how was I supposed to know that they were one of my friend's favorite snacks? She loved them! Actually my whole dorm loved them. I didn't want to finish the package, so I shoved it in my friend's room and said, "Here, free Oreos." Then her roommate got annoyed at me, (I think) and left it in the hall. In a matter of minutes, they were gone! It was kind of scary actually.

But if you wanted to know what was really scary, my friend brought a book about psychopaths! I don't know why, well actually I do, but that book was scary! I mean even more frightening than that Hungarian Horntail. At least you knew that it was a dragon and it could easily eat you or impale you with a spike, but a psychopath looks exactly like a person! In fact technically they are people. That book made me even more paranoid than Mad-eye Moody, and that was saying something. Here's a heads up, read it where there are other people so you don't get freaked out. Look I know that they could just as well be con men as opposed to their stereotype of being all vicious killers, but still I couldn't go outside of my room without looking outside the peephole. Then it got worse when I realized if you stand to the immediate right or left of the peephole, you won't be seen. Yeah I know, the chosen one isn't supposed to be afraid of anything. Except fear itself, but I'd like to think of it as a healthy dose of paranoia... Or actually fear. Besides by friend read the book too and she freaked out too.

But in Potions, Snape is really out to get us. So no need for paranoia there. Like once we were in the Dungeons and there was a fly buzzing around. Now normally that wouldn't have distracted us. (Yeah, right.) But Snape was in the middle of a particularly boring lecture about Porcupine Quills. So naturally our eyes were drawn to that fly. Crabbe and Goyle in particular were staring at it intently. Then someone came up with the brilliant idea to chuck something at it. Snape was doing his best to ignore it, but you could tell he was mad. Ignoring it worked until one of the projectiles, (cockroach guts) hit him. It was really funny actually. Someone screamed, "look out professor," and Snape's head snapped up in surprise. only to get hit smack in the face with the handful of cockroach guts. It looked so ridiculous and we were trying not to crack up. After all you could almost see him about to explode while trying not to let him temper rule him. His black eyes sparkled, not like Professor Dumbledore's sparkle, but like the sparkle of pure unadulterated rage. Rage that even I had never caused. I thought for sure the fool who threw that wished he could just disappear. I mean it made sense seeing as the only other option was to stay and get detention every evening for the rest f his poor school life. Instead he stomped over to Crabbe and Goyle and said, "what is the meaning of this?" He didn't yell. Oh no, it was much, much worse. This time it was the Death Eater Snape talking, in fact it was the kind of voice you'd hear in your worst nightmares. Then Goyle said, "But there was a fly, sir." If anything, he got even angrier. He then blasted the fly out of the air and said, "class dismissed." we all scampered away, but the flies sure can hold a grudge. From that day on a fly has always been in the Potions classroom. And heaven help the poor sod who raises his hand and says, "Professor, there's a fly in the classroom."

These are a couple of the events that stick out in my mind. They aren't any of my adventures or anything amazing. They're just moments where my friends and I hung out or got terrified. 'Cause in the end, moments like that will always be in your head. Just because they happened.

Harry Potter, Out.