"What do you mean I'm driving!" I asked in shock. When in a million years would he let me, the terribly slow driver get behind the wheel?
"You're taking us on a drive tonight." He said coolly looking back at me, obviously hiding something.
"Come on, let's go outside." He suggested, slightly pulling at my waist, eager to move towards the door.
I began to walk with him, he reached in front of us, pulling the door open for me. He gestured for me to go in front as he closed the door behind him. I walked into the garage & stopped dead in my tracks.
"What the hell is this Edward?" I sounded confused, yet enraged at the same time. I knew exactly what he was going to do. And I was about to let him do it.
"Nothing much. Just my wedding present to you." He leaned against the shiny silver car.
"I don't want a car, especially a brand new sports car. You know I love my truck dearly." I tried to convince him this was all wrong for me.
"Remember our compromise?" He asked, his voice soothing.
He walked towards me, I turned around to look away from the overpriced car. His arms wrapped around me from behind, his lips touched the side of my neck so softly.
"No strings attached, remember?" I countered him. He kissed my neck again.
"None at all. A car was part of our deal at the time though. I figured if I'm giving you everything you do want, you should get something I want you have." His breath hit my ears like the cool air on a winter day. A shiver ran through my body. He began to persuade me. He knew he already had me.
"So, there's no getting out of this is there?"
"Not a chance." He turned me around, still holding me close. I looked up at him, my hands on his chest. His smile shone so bright in the dim garage.
He kissed me on the forehead & studied my face.
"Are you actually smiling?"
"Yes, because I'm with you. It's not because of the cool car or anything." He laughed slightly, I could feel his body move against my head, now lying against his marble chest.
"So what exactly is the name of this car?" I asked cluelessly. I had no idea what this car was or how fast it went, I just knew that it was expensive.
"It's a Porsche Carrera GT." I stared at him blankly.
"It's top of the line." He said flatly.
"Well of course. Look at the other cars sitting in your garage." He threw me questioning look.
"Well, get in." He held the door open & gestured me into the driver's seat. I began to walk around the front of the car slowly.
"What if I wreck it?" I asked nervously.
"I trust you." He said, smiling.
"Maybe a little too much. You overestimate my luck." I said as I sat in the car. He closed the door & suddenly appeared on my left.
"You wont do this car any harm." He kissed me on the cheek.
I started the car & began to pull out. I was terribly nervous, because knowing Edward, this was going to be one of the fastest cars on the planet. I barely accelerated going down the road. I could feel Edward's gaze burning a whole in the side of my head.
"What now?" I asked impatiently.
"Bella, you're going slower than you go in your truck."
"Then you drive." I offered up a reasonable solution to the speed of the car.
"It's your gift. I want you to enjoy it. For me?" He asked as he saw the trouble I was having enjoying my gift.
"Where to?" I asked, caving in.
"Our spot." He said smiling, obviously pleased with himself.
I gradually accelerated the car, trying to keep it reasonable. We were almost there.
"Do you not like it?" He asked quietly as we continued on the highway.
"That's not it." I said, focusing on the road while trying to keep a nice speed.
"I heard Esme talked to you." His voice still quiet, yet like music.
"Yes."
"You don't have to do anything you don't want, Bella. Including this. No strings remember?" I listened to the words he spoke. I wasn't going to back out now.
"I am though."
"Only if it's your decision." He added as we stopped along the edge of the forest.
Edward was instantly at the door to my aide. I stepped out & walked to the forest, gazing out into the green.
Edward appeared in front of me, studying my face.
"What's wrong? Do you want to go home?" I shook my head no & walked towards him. He lifted me onto his back & started to run. Just as I had got comfortable & laid my head on his back, we were there, in the very meadow where we had so many memories.
He had gently let go of my legs, letting me slide down his back. He turned to look at me, my arms still locked around his neck. I stared back into the golden gaze & gave a weak smile.
I felt something lift me off my feet & in that split second, we were both on the ground, lying next to each other.
I broke the gaze & stared up at the trees, no light shone through. I could feel his eyes, still looking at me. I knew he wanted to ask me something, something that he had been avoiding.
"Are you sure this is all right? Right for you." He asked quietly, pain flowing through his voice.
I ignored the question, still gazing up at the trees. Was there really any question to the decision? I knew what I was doing, consequences & all. Why was he suddenly questioning me?
He wrapped his arms around me, pulling my head onto his chest.
"Bella, please?" He whispered softly into my ear.
"Edward-"I began to argue as he cut me off.
"Bella, I think I need to know if you are regretting this. Just tell me what's on your mind, my love." His voice was now very seductive. The voice I could not resist.
"You promised you would tell me later." He reminded me.
"If it was still bothering me." I said coolly.
"It is though."
"You don't know that." I didn't want to tell him I was only like this because of Jacob. Because I knew something was wrong. He hadn't called me since we last spoke. Charlie hadn't even mentioned him.
"If you don't tell me yourself, I'll figure it out on my own." He threatened, still smiling.
"You mean from Alice." I said, very annoyed. I looked up at his eyes, his smiling glowing. I let out a sigh.
"You know don't you." I knew he did, there was no questioning in my voice.
His face became more serious, the smile wiped away.
"Why didn't you tell me you were concerned?" He asked obviously hurt.
"Because it's not something you need to worry about." I said confidently. There was no fighting me there.
"And if it was?" He asked questioning my answer.
"Why would it be?" What did he mean by that? Why would he need to be concerned?
"I don't want you to have to carry all of the burdens. Share them with me." I studied his face for a moment. He started to smile again, hoping I would too. So I did.
"So is this why you brought me here? To try to take the burden off?"
"No. That's our next stop. I brought you here because I wanted to talk, to figure you out."
"And did you?" I asked curiously. I didn't want him to pry deeper. Nothing good could come from it.
"Not completely." I frowned at the answer & shifted my head. My head lay on his chest, my eyes closed as I waited for the next round of questions hit me like a bus.
"I know you've been avoiding the subject, but do you know for sure that you are making the right choice? Choosing me, knowing what you're giving up?" This was not what I was expecting. The words knocked the wind out of me, possibly more than a bus would have.
I didn't move. I lay there still, like stone. My breathing had stopped momentarily.
He sat up alert, his hands catching my head.
"Bella, are you ok?" His voice was in panic. I didn't know what to say, what to do.
"Bella! Breathe!" He commanded. I suddenly heard the voice from the black sea of cold.
"Bella!" He shouted once more, gently shaking me. I sat up clinging to him.
"Bella." He moved his hand against my back in circles.
I didn't know what to say back to him. I knew he was the one. Why didn't he know that?
"Edward, why are you asking?"
"I don't want you to have regrets." Of course it was in the best intentions, but it still hurt.
"I don't." I whispered softly into his chest. His hand was still moving gently.
"Let's go." He pulled us both to our feet, my hands still locked behind his back.
I pulled my hand away slightly, letting my eyes meet his.
"Where?"
"Somewhere to make you feel better." He said now smiling.
He helped me onto his back as he ran. It seemed to take forever to get to the car. Once we had got there, he set me down & opened the door. I got in slowly & buckled my seatbelt. He was going to drive this time.
I laid my head against the cool window as he started the engine.
The ride was quiet, our eyes never meeting. After a few minutes I realized where we were going & groaned.
"What's wrong?" Edward immediately asked in desperation.
"Why are we going to Charlie's?"
"Because he can make you feel better." Edward said in his persuasive voice. I tried to avoid his eyes. I could not resist melting into them.
"No, he can't. He's probably all sappy right now because of tomorrow." I argued, trying to convince him otherwise.
"You don't know that." He was right.
"So why can't you tell me what will cheer me up?" Still looking for a way out of Charlie's house.
"Because I don't know all the details." He sped up as we turned onto my street.
I sat & waited quietly for him to pull into the driveway.
I jumped out as soon as the car stopped hoping to get this over with as soon as humanly possible.
Edward stopped in front of me before I tore through the door.
"Calm down, my Bella." He said soothingly as he grabbed my shoulders.
I tried to be calm, but I really didn't want to be here today.
Edward put his arm around my waist, pulling me towards him.
I reached for the door & pushed it open.
"It's me!" I announced as I entered. I expected to see Charlie sitting in front of the television, watching a game, but he wasn't.
"Dad?" I called.
"Bells?" Charlie shouted from the kitchen.
Edward & I walked slowly into the kitchen to see Charlie on the phone, holding his index finger up to his mouth. I nodded & looked up at Edward.
He was fairly quiet & emotionless. His face was blank, obviously thinking.
"Well let me know if you hear anything. I'll keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Bye." Charlie hung up the phone & turned to me. Edward's arm dropped as Charlie walked towards me arms open wide. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly. He released me & stepped back.
"It's nice to see you Bella." Charlie said fairly pleased, a puzzled expression on his face.
"Yeah. I just came by to check on you. What's up?" I tried to lead him to whatever Edward was talking about.
"Nothing really. It's been pretty quiet since you've moved out, to tell you the truth."
"Who was that on the phone just now?" I wondered if this was key or simply pointless.
"That was Billy." No surprise. Probably planning a fishing trip or something.
"Why. Is something wrong?"
"Oh, nothing just curious. Why is something wrong?" I prompted him as best as I could.
"Well nothing major." Charlie drifted away.
"What time do I need to come tomorrow?"
"Dad! What's wrong?" I didn't notice my voice exceptionally loud.
"Bella, it's nothing. Please calm down." That was the last thing I wanted to hear. 'Calm down'. How could I calm down knowing something was wrong?
"Look, Billy just called to say that Jacob's been gone for awhile, well longer than expected, & told me to keep an eye out. Sam Uley said hat he didn't want anyone to look for him, but Billy's getting worried." Another bus hit me. I had to stay calm though. I couldn't react like I did earlier. Not in front of Charlie.
I stared aimlessly at the floor. Why? Why now? Was something wrong within the pack? I had about a million questions & possibilities running through my head right now, but he only needed one reason to leave.
"Bells?" Charlie asked. Edward squeezed my side, trying to pull me out the trance.
"Why? Why did he leave? Was it because of me?" I couldn't figure it out. Didn't he know how this would hurt me? He couldn't expect me to never find out.
"It wasn't anything really. Jake just up & out left one day. It was about 2 or 3 weeks ago."
"He's been gone. For 3 weeks. No one has looked! I broke from Edward's hold & walked towards the door.
"Bella!" Edward called after me. How was this supposed to make me feel better? Sure I knew where Jacob was, anywhere but his house, but it made me uneasy.
I stormed through the door & ripped open the door of the Porsche. I was not surprised at all to see Edward in the driver's seat before I even sat down.
"Edward move!" I growled.
"No." He said calmly.
"Edward-"
"Bella, you are overreacting-"
"And you don't!"
"Bella, just go back in there & calm down."
"Why because it will make me feel better?" I couldn't contain my rage. I felt bad about taking it out on Edward, but he stood in my way of finding Jake.
"Bella-" He began to plead with me.
I turned toward the street & began to walk.
"Where are you going Bella?" Edward asked, trying to stay calm.
"To La Push." I answered confidently.
Edward started the car & pulled out of the driveway, now pulling alongside of me.
"What makes you think that?" He asked.
"Edward you don't get it!"
"What if you couldn't see him?" I stopped in my tracks.
"Why?" I whispered, avoiding Edward's eyes.
"Bella, you can't run after everyone when you are a vampire."
"But I'm not." My voice was shaky.
"You will be in one week. If you still want to be, that is." I turned to look at him. He had a questioning look on his face.
I walked to the car & opened the door. I sat down quietly in the passenger's seat. As soon as the light went off that glowed above our heads, I laid my head against his shoulder. Tears began to roll down my face.
"Bella, everything is okay." He tried to comfort me. I sat up & looked at him.
"Tell me where Jacob is."
"Bella, be reasonable."
"You know."
"He doesn't want to be found. That's what he told the pack."
"Please. I need to know he is safe. I need to know he is happy. Please." I begged. One thing I needed to know was that he was happy, without me.
"He's safe." Edward turned away from me & accelerated the car.
"Edward." I murmured. He ignored me. "Edward!" I shouted his name now. The car came to a screeching halt in front of his house. His eyes now met mine with a fierce glare.
"Bella, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to hunt down the dog just so you can be with him?" I didn't realize I was making him this jealous.
"Edward-" I began to whisper.
"Bella, I can't. I want to make you happy, but I can't do that." I understood him completely. I just wanted to know Jacob was safe. Was happy, without me.
"Bella," He whispered, putting his icy hands against my red cheeks. "I would love to tell you he's safe & happy, but no one's happy without you." It was me, I made Jake runaway.
"It wasn't you though." He said softly, pressing his forehead against mine, our noses met. "It was me, it was my fault he left."
"Edward, you can't blame yourself every time something happens to me that is not pleasing." I wanted to laugh because he did. He felt he had not protected me well enough.
"But if it was my fault, you would let me take the blame. Right?" He said as he gently slid his head down against my cheek, his lips met me throat. He began kissing my neck. My hand cradled his head against me.
"But it's not." I kissed his head & let him continue kissing my neck.
My hand was still holding his head, pulling his head up, closer to my face, his lips touching my cheek. He pulled away. I sighed.
"But it is." I gently pushed him away.
"What do you mean Edward?" My voice now sounding angered.
"I let him know we were getting married." He said, now looking down at his lap. I continued to search for his face in the darkness, looking for an expression.
"He already knew that." I said, denying that Edward could do anything wrong.
I didn't want troubles to arise. Not now. Not ever. He tilted his head where the lights from the house hit his eyes, sparkling.
"I know." He looked at me dead in the eyes. "I told him he was welcome to come to the wedding." His face instantly took shame.
"But he overreacted. He had no reason to run away." I tried to calm him, my hand stroking back his hair, away from his forehead. I leaned in to kiss him, but he pulled away, pushing my hand back.
"Bella, you are too forgiving. I just drove away one of your friends & you will not blame me for anything." I ignored him & leaned in again, this time, my lips made contact with his neck. I placed my hands behind his neck, holding him in place. He pushed me away once more.
"Bella." He let out a deep sigh. I know he wanted me to be somewhat angry with, but I couldn't. I couldn't blame him for this.
"Edward."
"You aren't mad at me at all. Why not?" His face now blank.
"Just forget about it." I tried to do the same. I couldn't fill my mind with Jacob. We hadn't seen each other in over a month. Why should I care that he left me when I was ready to leave him in a week?
I was ready for rejection again, but I pushed myself on Edward. My heart raced as I laid my body on top of his, my hands locked behind his neck, my lips against his neck.
Edward's reaction was delayed. He placed his hands behind my neck gently. I raised my head up to his lips & kissed him once. I pulled my head back slightly & looked at his expression.
His face was vacant, his mind elsewhere.
"What's wrong?" I asked, still holding onto him. He did not respond.
"Edward?" I asked again.
"You treat me too well. At least tell me your reasoning for forgiveness so soon." He spoke quietly & gently.
"I just can't hold onto him any longer." It was true no matter how much I wanted to. "I was about to leave him, I understand him wanting to be the one to make that decision." I wouldn't want to be left. I knew that was too true. I remembered my last birthday. I couldn't say that part out loud. I could already see the painful expression if I had.
He looked at me & I could tell he understood. He pulled my head to his chest as I let myself bury my face in his chest. His arms held me close in a sense of security.
He opened up the door & carried me to the door.
The door opened without his arms moving, I could tell that Alice was probably there, awaiting our arrival.
"Shh." He whispered to Alice as we entered the house. I dozed off while in his arms, but slightly awoke when he set me down on the golden bed in our room.
"I'm sorry I woke you, Bella. Please, go back to sleep. You're exhausted after a long day." He brushed my hair out of my face & draped the covers over us. He lay behind me, his arms holding us together.
I let me head rest. I was tired. I closed my eyes as he began to hum my lullaby softly.
The sun shone through the south window. I squinted my eyes as I sat up. I expected to be greeted by Edward, but he wasn't there.
"Rise & shine!" Alice exclaimed as she walked into the room. "I've been waiting forever for you to completely wake up. Edward told me I couldn't wake you until eight, but I was about to cheat."
"Where did he go?" I was completely confused. All thoughts escaped my head.
"To get ready." Alice said simply, I felt like I was missing out on something. I thought hard about what Edward could possibly be doing.
"What for?" I finally asked. Alice's mouth gaped open in surprise.
"Bella, do you have amnesia or something?" She asked me in a joking voice.
"Alice, I seriously don't have any idea what you are talking about."
"Bella," She spoke quietly." Today is your wedding day." I wanted to scream. I couldn't believe I forgot today. The day.
I jumped out of the bed & ran down the hall to Alice's room, into her enormous bathroom. I turned on the hot water in the shower, letting it run as I grabbed some clothes from the closet. When I ran back into the bathroom frantically Alice stopped me.
"What time is it?" I gasped.
"Don't worry, we have plenty of time."
"How much?"
"A couple of hours. Take your time. Esme & Rosalie are downstairs decorating the backyard. Edward, Emmett, Jasper & Carlisle are in Emmett's room getting ready." She was actually being exceptionally calm today.
"Let me get showered then you can play with my hair & make-up." I jumped in & out of the shower quickly. As soon as I was dressed, Alice appeared in her room again. She guided me back into the bathroom in front of the vanity.
"You're hair looks wonderful!"
"It must have been all of that hairspray." I laughed quietly.
"Well I don't have to re-curl your hair, but I have to do your make-up." Alice pulled a few bobby pins from the box & pulled up my hair in the same amazing twist as yesterday.
She moved onto my make-up, applying it quickly & quietly. I could tell she was seeing something by the troubled expression on her face.
Her cell phone vibrated on the vanity in front of me. I picked it up before she could say anything.
"Alice?" Edward's voice was flat.
"Nope." A smile now covered my face. I was sure he would be happy to talk to me now since he felt no obligation to be with me when I awoke this morning.
"Give the phone to Alice." I handed the phone to Alice. The smile was wiped off my face.
I didn't understand what was going on. Alice now stood up from the chair that sat in front of me & rushed into her room as I could hear the low murmur in the phone. Her face was blank now as she listened.
"I don't know. Can you hear anything?" I could barely hear her voice. "Hold on." She said into the phone. "Bella is trying to eavesdrop." She spoke a bit louder to drop a hint.
"I wouldn't have to if you guys would ever include me!" I shouted back to her. She let out a sigh & spoke a few quiet words into the word & closed it promptly.
"Come here. I've got to fix your hair a little." She avoided the phone conversation as if it had never happened. She played with my hair for a moment & darted back into her room to grab my dress. She passed me by & hung it on the screen behind us.
"That's there for you to change into. The shoes are in my closet. I'll be back in a moment." She was gone before I had a chance to ask questions.
I changed silently. I tried to figure out what had happened. What did Edward hear? What did Alice see?
I had actually managed to zip the dress completely up while my attention was diverted. I walked slowly into Alice's room & over to the closet. I saw the shoes where I had thrown them yesterday. I reached for them & saw the charm bracelet dangling from my wrist.
That was it.
Next to the shoes I saw Esme's necklace. I picked it up along with shoes & sat down. I slipped the shoes on & put the necklace around my neck, letting it hang down into the dress.
I decided to go down to talk to Esme. I walked into the hallway, as I passed Emmett's door I heard it.
"What did you see?" It was Edward's frantic voice that I heard.
"Nothing." Alice spoke softly. "Everything just disappeared. Did you hear anything this morning?"
"Nothing." Edward sounded helpless.
"Jacob." His name escaped from my mouth quietly.
