Hey! Chapter 2! Where has Leader been? Oh, btw, this is pre-shippuden.

"I'm over here! HELP!" The Akatsuki looked out the window to see their leader stuck on the edge of a cliff. "Why in God's name are you stuck there?" Sasori yelled. "I dunno! I woke up like this! Shut up and help me!" Leader replied. "Y'know, it's funny. It isn't even 7:15 in the morning, and yet we've said 'shut up' about 20 times," Zetsu said. Then they all went out back to help their leader. "Grab this!", "GRAB THE F* ROPE!" and "YOU BETTER NOT RIP THIS ROPE! IT COST $3.99!"'s could be heard as the Akatsuki struggled to pull up their Leader. "Whew, thanks guys! NOW GET TO WORK OR YOU'RE FIRED!" Leader said. "Wait, yeah! Itachi has been turned into a weasel!" Deidara said. "What the…" Leader said, as there was a human-sized weasel with a….pony-tail? "WHO THE HELL DID THIS? ITACHI'S ONE OF OUR MOST IMPORTANT MEMBERS!" could be heard, shortly followed by an avalanche. "Tobi says he did it," Tobi said.

Meanwhile…in the Leaf Village…..

"Shikamaru, why are we looking at the clouds?" Chouji asked. "It's the one thing that isn't troublesome," the lazy pineapple-haired guy replied. "Oh. Hey, since when do clouds whistle?" "Clouds don't- HOLY S*! MOVE!" Shikamaru yelled, pushing his friend out of the way from a flying Akatsuki member. "Tobi says owwwwww…." Tobi said, rubbing his head after smashing head first into a tree. Luckily, his mask took most of the blow. "Warning, you are in the Leaf Village! Surrender or DIE!" Tobi turned to see 20-something ANBU standing there. "Tobi sorry! He just got beaten to a pulp! I surrender! MAMA!" Tobi said, hugging his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth. "Okay, raise your hands!" The ANBU captain said, taking safety precautions. Tobi did as he was told, walking over to the Hokage tower in custody. "Lady Tsunade? We've apprehended an Akatsuki member!" an ANBU said searching for his village's leader. "Really? YES! Wait, does he have an orange mask?" Tsunade asked, obviously enthusiastic. "Well, he did, but it exploded on impact," another ANBU replied. "Impact? Whatcha 'talkin 'bout?" "Well, he gained access to the village by way of flight," "Great, they have access to blimps, whooptie-doo,""Not exactly, he says he was punched by his leader," "Really? Sheesh," Tsunade said. "Tobi says 'Tachi is a weasel," Tobi cut in. "'Tachi? You mean Itachi? As in, THE ITACHI?" it was obvious that was who he meant, but Tsunade just felt like teasing him. Tobi nodded. "Tobi says he is furry with a pony-tail," Tobi explained. "Ah, well, take us to the Akatsuki hideout, and if they surrender and allow us to humiliate them and any other sort of punishment, perhaps we'd consider letting them re-join the village," "Tobi agrees," and with that, he led them to the Akatsuki.

With teh Akatsuki! Woo!

Deidara shielded it's eyes from the sun as it looked up to see his colleague flying out of sight. "Nice hit, Pein," Konan said. "Thanks, wait, what if he leads them here?" he replied. "We might as well surrender anyway, we obviously don't know anything about Mr. Freak of Nature the 2nd over there," Zetsu said. "Hey, if he's the 2nd, then who's the 1st?" Sasori asked. "Captain Sushi," Zetsu replied, nodding towards a ticked Kisame. "Hey, it's not my fault my Mom's a goldfish!" Kisame retorted. "Hey, wait a sec, did I just hear rustling?" Kakazu asked.

Next chap: What's the cure?

Thanks for reading! Please review! This is meh first fic so sry if it isn't good!