Author's Note: Wow! I'm so surprised and excited over the reception this story has gotten on just the first chapter! I was honestly prepared to delete it if no one liked it but... Ah! So awesome. Aaaaaaanyway! Here is chapter 2. Unlike all my other stories on here, this one is NOT already written in its entirety. So once my updates catch up to where I am in the story, there may be more of a lag between chapters. But we'll deal with that when we come to it. Thank you so much for the reviews/follows/faves. Definitely makes my heart happy.

Warnings: flashbacks, PTSD, maybe a few minor triggers for eating disorders (really just at the beginning but we're phasing out of that, promise), angst angst and MORE angst, but don't worry, this story WILL have a happy ending eventually. We just have to get there first. ;)


CHAPTER 2

When Elsa woke up, the sunlight was slanting in through the massive windows. She jerked her head up in surprise. The curtains were open and the bed was empty. "Anna?!" Elsa leapt to her feet, her eyes darting frantically around the room. Anna was nowhere in sight.

"In here, Your Majesty," a voice called from the door to Anna's bathroom.

Elsa turned and noticed the door ajar and steam billowing out. Crossing the room in less than four strides, Elsa carefully pushed open the door. Anna, looking gaunt but alive, was sitting in a chair, wrapped in her favorite green robe, having her wet hair combed through by Lara. Anna's eyes were sunken and despite all the sleep she'd gotten, there were still dark circles under her eyes. Her skin was so pale that her freckles seemed to stand out even more than usual. Her hands were clasped in her lap and her gaze was on the floor. But she was alive.

Rooted to her spot, Elsa just stared at her sister. The doorknob turned completely icy under her hand. The steam in the room immediately dissipated.

"Your—Your Majesty?" Lara, feeling the temperature drop sharply, looked up from Anna's hair.

"Anna," Elsa whispered, unable to move. Her heart would surely shatter into a thousand icy pieces if she moved even a single muscle. She hardly dared to breathe.

"You're all done, Your Highness," Lara said quietly. "Let's stand you up." She held Anna's shoulders gently as the princess rose unsteadily to her feet.

Elsa gasped. Anna was so thin, so fragile, so un-Anna-like that the sight nearly brought her to her knees. She clutched the icy doorknob to keep herself upright.

Slowly, the aquamarine eyes that Elsa loved so much lifted up from the floor and landed on her. Was she imagining it, or did she see the hard, empty eyes soften just a tiny bit when they looked at her?

"Anna," Elsa said again, more controlled this time. "I'm going to walk over to you. And I'm going to hug you." She didn't know what in God's name Anna had gone through, at least not entirely, while in the Southern Isles and she wasn't sure she wanted to know, but it was safe to say that Anna was nearly wrecked and Elsa wasn't going to do anything that could possibly scare her sister right now. Telling her ahead of time what she was going to do seemed like a good idea.

Anna didn't say anything, but just continued to look at her sister. Elsa couldn't be sure if the words were even registering. She walked measuredly across the floor, trying to keep from turning the floor into an ice rink as she went, and carefully wrapped her arms around her sister, burying her face into Anna's shoulder, breathing in the scent of her. Elsa's hands splayed out across Anna's back, feeling her protruding shoulder blades, ribs and vertebrae pressing against her fingers. Under her cheek, Anna's collarbone was sharp through her robe. The graceful curve of Anna's jawbone was gone, replaced by a shocking edge of bone under skin.

Just when Elsa thought Anna might be comatose, she felt her sister's thin arms raise and wrap around her waist and the fragile body relaxed against her just the tiniest bit. It wasn't anything like the warm, inviting hugs Elsa was used to from her sister, but it was a damn good start.


Much to the palace doctor's frustration and Elsa's horror, Anna was still refusing food. When they managed to finally convince Anna to try to eat something later that same day, it hadn't gone well. Elsa herself had gone to the kitchen and made Anna a piece of toast. She had carefully spread the butter on it and drizzled a touch of honey, just the way Anna loved it. It had taken her almost twenty minutes but Anna had managed to eat the whole piece of toast, only to turn pale and throw it back up in addition to the tea that Elsa had also convinced her to consume. It was clear that Anna's body was not ready for that. Lara suggested something only liquid instead, and Anna nodded her head mutely, agreeing to try it. So after they cleaned her up and got her situated in a chair, Lara went off to find something liquid and nutritious for Anna.

Sitting on a chair pulled up in front of Anna's, Elsa sat face to face with her sister, holding her hands. "Anna, you've got to eat," Elsa pleaded. Then she added, "I mean, you've got to eat and keep it down. You'll starve."

Anna looked away, her lips slightly pursed and her nostrils slightly flared.

She doesn't care, Elsa realized, horrified. She doesn't care if she dies.

"Look at me," Elsa said, more sharply than she intended to. "Please," she amended, more softly.

When their eyes met, Elsa just started talking. "I know you may not care if you live or die, Anna of Arendelle, but I do. I care. You are so valuable to everyone. I may be the queen but I'd be nothing without you, and so would all of Arendelle. You are the one who connects to people, Anna, not me. You are the one who always wants to throw parties for the townspeople, to 'spoil them', as you would say. You are the one who knows which families are needing extra help and you make sure they get what they need. I love Arendelle, Anna, but nobody loves it like you. I love our people, but I don't know them like you do. They love me, but they love you most. I love you, Anna. I can't speak for all of Arendelle, but I know I can't live without you. So please, please don't make me. If you can't live for yourself, live for me and for the country and city you love so much and that love you back. Please, Anna, stay for us."

Anna's eyes closed and she visibly inhaled, her thin shoulders rising just a little as her chin dropped toward her chest minutely. She was steeling herself, Elsa realized. Then Anna's eyes opened and she spoke.

"I don't know how to be," she whispered. "I can't feel anything."

"I know, baby." Elsa squeezed her sister's hands. "I'm sure it will be hard but you're not ever going to have to do it alone. Kristoff is here for you, Lara and Astrid are here for you, I'm here for you… You're not alone, Anna, but you can't do anything if your body isn't strong enough."

As if on cue, Lara reentered the room carrying a cup of milk warmed up with honey and cinnamon. "Here, Your Highness," Lara handed the cup to Anna, who held it up to her face, breathing in the scent. Her eyes fluttered closed for a minute and Elsa knew exactly which memories were running through Anna's mind just then. Scenes of playing in the snow, both inside and outside, Christmas trees, making fattigman cookies with Lara, Astrid and Hilda in the kitchen, warm fires and Mama and Papa. This was the drink that they had in the wintertime as little girls.

Elsa was shocked when two tiny tears slipped out from under Anna's closed eyelids and slid down her cheeks. Maybe she can feel, Elsa thought. Without opening her eyes, Anna brought the cup to her lips and took a sip. Then another, and another. In less than five minutes the cup was empty. Anna's eyes opened slowly and they shone. Still not as animated as they used to be, but it was definitely a step in the right direction.

"Better?" Whispered Elsa, cupping Anna's cheek in one hand and running her thumb across, wiping away the tear that was drying there.

"Yes," Anna answered. Then she turned toward Lara, standing patiently by the door. "Please, Lara. Can you make more?"


Over the next few days, Anna improved steadily, much to Elsa's delight. At least, physically she improved. Emotional improvement was a bit less forthcoming. After several days of eating small amounts of food, color was coming back into Anna's cheeks. But the trauma of what she'd been through couldn't be forgotten or ignored, and every so often, during the day, Anna would go completely still and a vacant look would come into her eyes. The first time it happened, Elsa panicked and was nearly shaking her sister, calling her name over and over to no avail. Eventually, Anna had shaken herself out of it, eyes darting around the room in alarm before recognizing her surroundings. But after that, Elsa learned to just wait patiently for Anna to come back to her. She always did.

The first sign of Anna's dissociative state faltering happened about a week and a half after her return to Arendelle. She and Elsa were sitting in Elsa's study, working. Well, Elsa was working. She had finally taken back some of her work but still refused to let Anna out of her sight. So Elsa sat at her desk and Anna sat in a chair off to the side, watching her. Every so often, Elsa would glance over at Anna, her eyes shining softly.

Anna lost herself in the movement of Elsa's hand as she wrote corrections on a document. Elsa was left-handed and, as such, had to hold her hand in an interesting way to avoid getting ink all over her pinky finger. Anna had always been amused by Elsa's awkward way of holding pens and pencils, and she was amazed that Elsa's handwriting was as lovely as it was, given the way she had to write.

"Damn," Elsa swore quietly as she snapped off the tip of her quill by accident.

A few feet away, Anna suddenly went rigid.

"She won't talk, your Grace," Anna could hear Johann's voice say, down the hall. "I tried everything and she's nearly starved now."

"Damn," Prince Hans swore in response. General Berven sighed. "Well," he said. "I guess that's that."

Heavy, booted footsteps approached the cell where Anna was being held. She feared what was coming but felt fiery resolve burn in her soul. She knew she'd sooner die that give away Arendelle's secrets. She couldn't warn Elsa now but she could do that much, in spite of everything.

The door flew open. Hans' figure darkened the doorway. "Anna," he spat. "Too proud to say anything to save your own soul?"

"Shut up," Anna shot back. "I'll never tell you anything. I'll die before I do."

"You might," Hans confirmed. "But first, I have another use for you."

"NO!" Anna screamed, sitting upright in her chair. She clutched the arms of the chair so tightly her knuckles were white and her eyes darted wildly, trying to understand where she was.

Elsa dropped her broken quill and was instantly on her knees in front of Anna. "What's wrong? What is it?" She asked desperately.

Eyes wide, Anna tried to bolt from her chair but only succeeded in bowling over Elsa, who caught onto her by the waist and they both went tumbling onto the floor.

"Let me go!" Anna screamed, struggling and flailing, trying to pull out of Elsa's grasp. "Let me go!"

Elsa, stunned, loosened her grip just enough for Anna to wriggle free, leap to her feet and dash out of the study. Elsa stared after her for a second while her brain tried to catch up to the situation. "Anna!" She yelled, jumping up and running after her sister.

Skidding out the door, Elsa was just in time to see the back end of Anna's dress and the tips of auburn hair round the corner and disappear from sight at the end of the hall. "Damn it!" She hissed, and took off in pursuit, calling Anna's name.

Anna somehow made it down the stairs in her blind terror, not fully realizing where she was. She was caught in a state of half-reality, some part of her brain believing she was still in the Southern Isles and needed to run for her life, despite the fact that her eyes were open and could see that she was, in fact, in Arendelle. It wasn't computing, and Anna was running blindly through the castle, not noticing the walls turning to ice, trying to get away from something that was real only to her in that moment.

It wasn't until she burst through the front doors of the castle and was confronted with a full-on blizzard (a sign that Elsa was beyond distressed, given that it was the first week of June) that she stopped, realizing where she was. Standing in the courtyard in a summer dress, her long hair blowing wildly about her, she faintly heard Elsa's voice calling her name. She turned just in time to see Elsa appear in the doorway through the blowing snow. Anna's lungs burned, gasping for air. All sounds were muffled in her ringing ears. The familiar, welcome blackness feathered the edges of her vision. Please, take me, Anna pleaded to it, and just as Elsa reached her, the blackness granted her wish and she crumbled to the ground.


Kristoff had arrived at the castle gates on the other side of the courtyard just as the blizzard had ground to a sudden halt, the snowflakes stopping in their tracks, turning to hail crystals and falling, like lead, to the ground. He had been delivering a bunch of ice to a business in town and had dropped everything and rushed to the castle as soon as the unseasonable snow began; throwing open the gates just in time to see Elsa catch Anna right before she hit the ground.

"What happened?" He'd asked Elsa, who was white as a sheet, cradling her sister in her lap.

"I have no idea." Elsa's voice shook helplessly in a way that tugged at Kristoff's heart. "One second we were in my study and I was working and then the next thing I knew, she screamed and took off. Something scared her but I don't know what."

"Let's get her back inside, it's cold out here," Kristoff had said pointedly, gently sliding one arm under Anna's knees and the other behind her back, lifting her easily out of Elsa's arms.

"Sorry," had been Elsa's response, and she'd closed her eyes for a few seconds, starting the hail and snow melting.

Kristoff and Elsa were now both perched on the edge of Anna's bed (as unusual as it was to have a man not on the staff in the bedchambers, both Elsa and Kristoff had insisted and, given the circumstances, the head maid didn't object), watching her eyelids flutter as she slowly came back. Her aquamarine eyes landed first on Elsa, then flicked to Kristoff, then back to Elsa. Then they squeezed closed as she took a deep inhalation. "Sorry," she whispered, without opening her eyes.

"You don't have to apologize," Elsa said quickly, taking her sister's hand. "I'm — we're — just glad you're awake." Elsa's head tilted, indicating Kristoff.

"What happened?" The burly ice harvester asked, his eyebrows knitted in concern.

Anna opened her eyes and stared stonily at the ceiling, saying nothing.

"Was it a memory?" Elsa queried. She couldn't think what else it could have been. "Did something trigger it?"

Kristoff noticed Anna's facial muscles twitch and realized the princess was clenching her teeth. Her nostrils flared ever so slightly and her chest rose and fell just a little faster than before, although she still said nothing. "You're safe, Anna. It's just us," he reassured her.

"I just want to sleep," Anna said, her voice quiet but firm.

"I'll go," Kristoff said, getting up. He kissed his fingertips and blew it to Anna. "Sleep tight, feisty pants." He thought he saw a slight smirk on Anna's face, but he couldn't be sure.


Elsa was pulling the blankets up around Anna when she spoke again. "I'm not… actually going to sleep."

"You're not?" Elsa's eyebrows rose up a little in confusion.

Anna sighed and closed her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again. "No, I just… didn't want Kristoff to stay."

Elsa's head tilted questioningly, but she said nothing.

"The way he looks at me is just…" Anna's voice trailed off. She stared at the juncture of the wall and the ceiling, her eyes staying on one spot long enough for everything else to disappear from her vision.

"Just what?" Elsa asked gently, sitting back down on the edge of the bed.

"I don't know," Anna said. She chewed her lip. "So full of pity."

"He's worried about you. We all are."

"I know. I just don't know what to say to him. I know he blames himself, too."

Kristoff had been with Anna at the time she was taken. Of course he, like Elsa and Anna, had no idea there was this much unrest between the two countries. How that fact had escaped Kristoff made perfect sense — he wasn't as knowledgable of such affairs. Elsa was a different story. She should have seen it coming, especially after the events of the eternal winter. But she hadn't, and Anna had paid the price for it.

"Stop that," Anna's voice dug its way into Elsa's thoughts.

"Stop what?" Blue eyes met teal ones.

"Beating yourself up," Anna replied. "It's written all over your face."

Head dropping, Elsa pinched the bridge of her nose. "I know, I know. I can't help it though. And then when Lara told me what had happened to you—"

"Lara told you what happened to me?" Anna interrupted sharply. "What did she tell you?"

Elsa stood up from the bed and walked over to the window. She stared out into the early evening. Bracing her hands on the windowsill, she leaned her forehead against the cool glass.

"Elsa," Anna's voice was flat, even, like a smooth stone. "What did Lara tell you?" It almost came out more like a statement than a question.

"She told me," Elsa said, taking a deep, shaky breath, "that you were kept with the soldiers."

No response.

"And that they tried to get information out of you."

Still no response.

"And that you wouldn't give any."

Still nothing.

"And that they used you."

A small sigh.

"It's true," Anna said, her voice void of emotion. "All of that is true."

Elsa turned around. Anna was staring at the ceiling again, her arms folded across her chest. She had a blank expression on her face. Behind her back, Elsa's hands were clutching the windowsill. A thin layer of ice sprouted up across the windowsill and started heading down the wall.

"Anna…" Elsa began, but couldn't say more past the lump in her throat.

"Don't!" Anna snapped, sounding desperate. "Don't apologize," she added, more softly. "Please don't. I can't stand to hear it again."

"All right," Elsa whispered, returning to the bed. She sat down in the spot she had recently vacated. Anna continued to stare blankly at the ceiling.

"I can't tell you. Not yet." Her voice was as hollow as an empty barrel. "I can't tell you what happened." Elsa could detect the faintest crack in her voice at the end of the last word.

Reaching for her sister's hand, Elsa said, "that's okay, you don't have to say anything. Whenever you're ready to tell me, I'm ready to listen."

Teal eyes flicked over to blue ones. "That's just the thing, Elsa," Anna said with an edge in her voice. "I'm not sure you ever will be ready to listen. You sure as hell won't ever want to hear it."

"W-what do you mean?" Elsa's hand squeezed her sister's fingers gently. "Of course I'm ready to listen. I'm always here for you."

"I know," sighed Anna, her eyes closing briefly. "That's not what I meant. It's just — every time I say anything, you always feel so guilty. I'm not trying to make you feel that way. I don't want to hurt you."

Tears welled up instantly in Elsa's eyes. Horrible didn't even begin to describe the experience Anna had had in the Southern Isles, and here she was worried about making Elsa feel bad. She was worried about Elsa being hurt. For some reason, the irony and unfairness of the situation bloomed angrily in Elsa's chest. She let go of Anna's hand and lurched to her feet. Striding forcefully over to the hearth, Elsa slapped her hand flat against the flat stone wall above the fireplace. Pain shot from her hand, down her arm and reverberated through her whole frame.

"What?" Anna asked, sitting up and eyeing Elsa warily.

Elsa laid her forehead against the back of her hand, still on the cool stone. "Nothing I just—" She stopped before she said anything else that made Anna uneasy. "I just hate that you have to keep bearing pain. At all. For any reason," she added quickly, to dispel any negative reaction that might have been brewing in her sister.

Turning back around, Elsa saw that Anna had laid back down and her eyes had closed again, but her teeth were worrying her lip, indicating that she was still awake.

When Anna spoke, her voice was so small and quiet that Elsa almost didn't hear her. "Will you please…"

"What is it?" Elsa asked, approaching Anna's side.

"Just… will you please come lay with me?"

Elsa's throat ached so much she thought she would choke. "Of course," she said, forcing her voice to be even and her emotions to stay hidden. Anna didn't need any more tears. Pulling the covers down, she slid into bed beside her sister. Hesitantly, Anna rested the side of her face against Elsa's shoulder, her left hand seeking out her sister's right hand, winding their fingers together. Within minutes, her breathing evened out and Elsa could tell she'd fallen asleep. Only then did Elsa let her tears leak silently out of her eyes.