Plot device, HO!

Title: Straw Boys and Silver Sneakers.
Summary: Erin gets swept into Oz this chapter, her mood gets worse, and then improves when she meets Glinda the Good Witch. Glinda explains a few things to her, and she learns of a danger that plagues Oz. To find her way home, Glinda suggests she seek an audience with the King.
Rating: T for Teen.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Random Notes: In this chapter, Erin finds herself in Oz, and meets Glinda the Good Witch of the North. From personal experiance, Erin finds this woman appaling. Pink? My God woman look in a mirror. Redhead? Pink? Try again. (her words, not mine, I think you look lovely Glinda.) She also makes her way off down the Yellow Brick Road to find her way back home to Kansas.

RANDOM FACT- Bert, Ray, and Jack are the first names of the actors who played the Lion, Scarecrow, and Tinman in the 1939 version. (In that order.) Your probably already aware of this fact, but I felt you should all see the connection.


"Erin! Erriiin! Oh no, Max I can't find her!"

"We can't look for her now, Lizzie, it's a twister!"

"But she's out there all alone!"

Max grabbed his wife's shoulders. "Lizzie, y'know we can't go out there. We gotta get to the storm cellar."

"But Erin-" "She'll be ok. She's smart, she'll be hiding in the lowest place she can right now, don't worry. RAY! You get those horses out of that barn!"

"Yessir! Where's Erin?" Ray held onto his ballcap, stopping only a moment to listen for an answer. "We can't find her, but get those horses out, and get to the cellar! She'll be alright." For a moment, Ray froze in place, Erin? Not found? Out there? In a cyclone? Never, he would not allow it. But, he had to get the horses, so he pelted off into the barn, and was immediatly smacked in the face with a canvas board.

"Damnit! What the..." A horse whinnied frantically, but he stopped, looking down. A painting, the wind had knocked it from the hayloft. Erin had said she'd been working on something...

"RAY! What're you doing?!"

Ray shoved the board into Max's arms. "Take it to the cellar, i'll be there inna second!" Max was off, and Ray headed to the stalls to free the petrified animals.

Erin was fine, he thought, in the lowest place she could be, no doubt, she was a smart kid. She was.


Erin's feet kicked up dust as she belted down the road. Notgoodnotgoodnotgoodyou frickin' straw-for-brains idiot!
She was surprised Henri hadn't done anything to warn her of this, weren't animals supposed to be more weather sensitive or something? But he seemed just as scared as she was so there was no use scolded the dog now. Somehow, she was keeping pace with the animals's strides. Good news though, the farm was in sight, and she could hear the yells and screams of animals being let loose, and was that Ray running around? His long legs propelling him through the air like a funny, goateed ragdoll. Ah home, nothing like it when your being chased down by a massive tornado.

"Uncle Max! Aunt Lizzie! Ray!"

But he couldn't hear her over the wind, he was hurriedly trying to open the gate for the animals to run into the pasture, and all around him wind whipped and animals pounded frantically about. Why was he trampled to dust already? And then a body was next to him.

"Jack!" The other man visibly sighed. "You kids, never gettin' anything done!" He shoved a crowbar into the jammed lock, and slammed down on it with his boot, the gate swung back, and the wind did the rest. Jack grabbed Ray's arm and pulled the stricken man towards the cellar door, where Max was trying to calm Liz down, beside the two of them, Bert appeared, looking winded.

"Anybody find, Erin?" He asked. They shook their heads. "Nothing. If that brat is stuck out in the storm..." Jack's voice faltered. The tornado was far closer than it had been a few minutes ago, in fact, it wasn't far away, and advancing quickly. Jack's eyes moved down the road, in the vague hope they'd see her.

He was exceptionally surprised to see a yellow, grey, and blue smudge, with a second black smudge ahead of that. Erin and Henri. The wind was blowing so much dust around it was tough to tell how far from the farm they were, but the three men ran to the little picket fence to help her. But the wind and dust and debris held them at bay, she was just outside the fence, but impossible to get to. It was everything they could do to not be blown away.

Erin, unlike the three men, had little body mass. At four foot ten and about a hundred pounds, it was no surprise when she jumped to catapult herself over the fence, the wind blew her, and Henri along with her, right into Ray, who'd tried to catch her. The three tumbled into the air, and Erin's head slammed into Ray's forehead.

The chaotic world went dark.


When Erin came to, she was in her bed, her blankets had fallen off in the night, but beside her was the warm fur of Henri. And her mattress was very soft, but the sheets were a bit mussed. Because her covers had fallen off she was a bit cold, as her room in the farmhouse had no insulation. She yawned, stretching a bit and rolling over to cuddle up with Henri, who whined worriedly.

Her eyes popped open, and the first thing she noticed was that her ceiling was either invisible, or gone altogether. And she found that she was not, in fact, in her bed, and she had not, in fact, lost the covers on her bed. And in fact, she wasn't in her house at all.

She sat up. "What the heck...?"

She was in a little town. The houses were small and dainty, and the little grassy knoll where she'd woken up was situated near a little duck pond, that led off down the road, which was paved with yellow bricks. She rolled and stood up quickly, glancing around.

"Wha.. This wasn't... Henri?" She looked down at the dog, who made a noise between a groan and a whine of uncertainty.

"We are totally not in Kansas anymore." Henri barked in agreement, and somebody giggled. Or, a lot of somebodies giggled. "Whose there?" No answer.

"Hey! Come out of wherever your hiding, i've got a.." she glanced down at Henri, whose tail was wagging fervently. "Er.. I've got a violent attack dog here with me, and i'll sic 'em on ya and he'll sniff ya out and.. and... Whoa."

A bright pink bubble had appeared in the sky, and it dropped towards her. Erin was sure it would pop, but instead, when it burst, it brought forth a tall and beautiful woman, with an elegant pink gown and headpiece. She had the sudden urge to bow before this woman. But she didn't, because this was all a dream and she'd wake up at home, probably with a concussion from slamming her head into Ray's thick skull.

The woman eyed her dangerously, or, no, she was eyeing Henri.

"What are you doing with a Fury in Munchinkinland?" Erin cocked a brow.

"Fury? Thats my dog, Henri, he's a Labrador."

"Labrador? Well this is a mite puzzlesome. The Munchkins summoned me because they said a girl appeared with a Fury accompanying her. That would have been very serious." Erin shook her head, feeling very small and young all of a sudden. "No! But.. Who are the Munchkins? Whats a Fury? Where the heck am I?" She wasn't sure why she was so frantic, it was just a dream anyway, some warped up illusion her concussed head had thought up.

But it felt very real, and she felt very confused.

The woman looked her up and down, and smiled. "Well, in another case I would tell you to forget everything about a Fury, you'd be much safer that way. But as you seem to have fallen, like other before, from the world called Kansas, I see no harm."

"ALRIGHT! Thats it, i've had enough! I don't know where I am, theres a hot pink fairy babbling about Furies, which i'm sure are in Greek myth, and Munchkins, which I KNOW are a delicious treat from Dunkin' Donuts, but i'm also really sure you don't mean either of those so would you PLEASE, explain where the hell I am, and whats going on!"

The woman smiled sweetly, which enraged Erin all the more. Henri nudged her knee, calming her a bit.

"My dear, I am Glinda, the Good Witch of the North. And this is Munchkinland, in the world of Oz."

As if on cue, a myriad of tiny people, just perfect for the daint houses, appeared out of every crevasse imaginable. In between bushes, houses, out of chimeny's and from the ground. They were dressed in bright, colorful clothing, with little hats and shoes and multicolored hair.

"The Furies are a bit more difficult to understand, but if you'll come and sit with me for a moment, I will explain." A shiver ran through the crowd of Munchkins, and Glinda, who was feeling an oddly pleasant sense of Deja Vu, took Erin's hand and led her off a short ways down the Yellow Brick Road, to sit along the bank of the little creek.

"What is your name?"

"Erin. From Kansas, how did you know that, anyway?" Glinda chuckled.

"We've had one or two people from Kansas come here before." Erin paused, flicking a pebble into the creek. "So.. Please don't tell me all this is real." Glinda frowned. "Quite the contrary, this world is very real. As real as you or your Kansas."

Erin sighed. "It'd be easier to believe if I still believed in fairytales. But y'know, you hit thirteen and you tell somebody you want to go to Narnia, and they send to therapy and pump you full of Ritalin." Glinda didn't know what Ritalin was, but it sounded unpleasant, so she nodded, feigning understanding.

"Ok but... Say this place, really is real. I'm gonna go ahead and go along with it, believe it, God knows I want to. What are these Furies?"

Glinda's features grew dark. She waved her star-tipped wand over a section of the creek, and it darkened, showing the image of a dark creature, shadow-like in appearance, horned and on all fours. It looked like a Hellhound, with glittery ebony fangs and scarlet eyes. She could see the minor resemblance of the creatures and Henri. Glinda began to talk.

"About a year ago, the Furies began showing up all across Oz. They started in the Haunted Woods, and spread across the Winkie kingdom, all the way to Emerald City. And the only thing protecting Emerald City right now, are the Ruby Slippers."

She waved her wand again, and a pair of Red, heeled shoes appeared, glinting and gleaming in the ripples.

"Their power keeps the Furies and their master at bay." Erin nodded. "Whose their master?" Glinda shook her elegant head. "No one knows. But his heart is so dark that he was able to create these beasts, who posess the people they bite." The images in the water now showed several human shaped Furies, all dark and red-eyed and fanged. "It's very dangerous outside city limits, because that is the Fury domain now."

Henri barked and snapped at the image in the water, dissapating it into ripples. Erin stroked Henri's dark fur.
"I see why they thought Henri was one, but he isn't. He's just a lazy old dog."

Glinda laughed. "He seems like a lovely creature." Henri's tail went wild. "Heh, alright so... This place is real then, i'll go ahead and believe it, no matter how stupid I feel. How do I get back home?"

Glenda thought for a moment, thinking. Then she smiled broadly. "I have just the idea." She stood, and held out her hands to pull Erin up. "But you'll have to go to the Emerald City, and seek an audience with the King of Oz. He'll know what to do for you."

"Alright, the King of Oz." If this King was anything like the President, she was screwed. "And how do I get to Emerald City?"

Glinda's smille seemed to widen.

"Why, you take the Yellow Brick Road."

"The Yellow Brick Road." Erin turned to look down said road, and when she turned around again, Glinda was gone.

"The Yellow Brick Road..." She murmured, and voices began to serenade her as she began to walk.

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!" They all sang, the Munchkins. Erin laughed and broke out into a run, and as she sprinted off, the voices growing father away, she called to Henri, at his spot a few feet ahead of her.

"Stuff sure happens fast in this place, huh Henri?"

He barked.


Erin isn't always a jerk. She has a good heart, she just forgets how to use it sometimes.

-Blitz