Resident Evil 2: PARODY
Author note: HELLOOO people, I'm back with a new update, its been a long time but i'm gonna take a crack at it, hopefully we can finish 2 and 0 as quickly and efficiently as possible, the both of us have taken very busy lately, but I now have some spare time.. Also been playing the ever living hell out of Operation Raccoon city and RE: 6 on xbox live with friends :P I know I might regret this but my new gamer tag is "Killeh Bunny" lol, if I do have a problem with that I can just change it ;3 I gots micro points out the wazoo XD Read and Review
Chapter 2: Just call me Rookie!
Leon and Clair walked into the RPD station, the door slamming behind them. Looking around Leon called out "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as the echo continued, Clair quickly covering his mouth "Are you stupid?!" she asked angrily, giving a goofy grin Leon replied "No..I'm special"
Clair blinked for a moment before shaking her head and walking ahead, her eyes focused on a computer and then a Typewriter. "Leon, look...I think we can record our progress on this" she said before Leon slapped in an ink ribbon and began typing away "Leon 01 Big ass hallway... Some crazy shit happened last night.. I only briefly remember her name.." he began typing before Clair smacked him upside the head "Nobody cares about your erotic stories!" she exclaimed before walking over to the computer and typing away at it. Leon pouted and walked around, he found a locked door, then he found another locked door... Claire walked over to another door and opened it "Leon over here!" she called out and in a flash Leon was there and they entered.
Once inside it became clear that cleaning was on the bottom of the large list of things to do..
"Good lord!" cried out Claire in shock to the torn up room, Leon laughed and waved his hand "Looks like my moms house after thanks giving" he said and walked into the back room
they found a wounded police officer and kneeled beside him "Hey..Are you okay?" asked Leon, the cop coughed as he looked up at him "You must be the new Rookie..." he said pausing for a moment "Your too late for the welcome party.." he added, Claire looked back to the trashed room "No shit.." she commented "Are there any survivors?" asked Claire before Leon chided in "HA! Survivors!? Your funny Claire.. This is Resident FUCKING Evil...Get with the program" he said slapping her on the back.
The police officer held out a card key shakily "Here...You can use this to access the other rooms... I'm gonna lay here and have a couple more drinks before I try to kill you..i mean..Die.." he coughed. Leon took the card Key and nodded "I will avenge you.." he said and rushed out of the room.
Claire followed as she looked at Leon "what do we do now?" she asks as she punched in the card key into the computer.
Leon looked at her "Maybe we should split up.." he began. Claire nodded "Right, we could cover more ground..Good idea Leon.." she said before rushing off through the nearest locked door.
Leon stood there for a moment in confusion "Cover more ground...? I just didn't want to hear you nag me anylonger.." he mumbled.
XXXX Claire XXXX
Claire entered the next room, there was a large Item Box. A zombie was sifting through the item box "Oh where has that blasted dog gone to now.." said the british zombie Claire aimed her gun at him "DIE ZOMBIE!" she exclaimed and fired at him till he was dead. Looking around she found a paper.
"Attention RPD staff.
In regards to Chief Irons all munitions have been relocated from the armory and scattered effectively EVERYWHERE, according to the chief this will stop the flesh eating terrorists from using them against us... Largely outnumbered and significantly armed with only a pistol, this appears to be the BEST course of action and finally we can install a pool room into the armory."
Claire put the paper away in her magic filing cabinet of non-existence.
Proceeding forward she noticed something crawling across the window. "Spiderman?" she wondered outloud before hurrying into the next room.
XXX Leon XXX
Leon rushed through the hallways singing "Its the BESSST DAAAY EVERRRR!" as he freely fired upon EVERYTHING that moved walking upto a downed zombie "EXECUTION!" he exclaimed emptying his clip into the zombies head. "I am so freaking awesome.." he said reloading.
XXX Claire XXX
Claire walked catiously down the hallway as she peeked around the corner of the hall, she could see a headless corpse laying there in a pool of blood "It looks like the head was twisted off" came the words across the bottom of the screen, looking at them Claires eyes widened as she took off full sprint down the hall being stopped by a tounge lashing out and grabbing her around the throat as she began choking and struggling against it.
Just then Leon tuck and rolled around the corner "DIE MONST-... AWW a puppy!" he said looking at the licker on the ceiling, Claire was being dragged up slowly off her feet and hung there as she kicked and squirmed choking loudly. Leon smiled "He likes you Claire" he said.
Claire shakily grasped at the tongue around her throat as she kicked her legs gasping for help, reaching for her knife she sliced the tongue off and fell to the ground coughing.
Leon blinked as the lickers tongue was cut off "Aw now I gotta put him out of his misery.." he mumbled and simply shot the licker in the exposed brain.
Claire stood up glaring at Leon huffing in anger. "You don't look so good Claire.." he began but smiled innocently "I know what'll turn that frown upside down... Who wants a herb?" he asked holding it out.
Claire grabbed him by his lush golden hair and pulled her fist back "IDIOT!" she growled. Leon's eyes widened "No, hey! calm down! AH! not in the face! AHH! MEDIC!" he screamed as the chapter end came.
CHAPTER 2 END
XXXXX SONG PARODY "Moves Like Jagger" - "Moves like Leon" XXX
(The following is an ORIGINAL creation of Team PARODY)
" When I push staaaart
Resident Evil
I feel like the STA-RS
Raccoon City
Don't worry about me
cuz Im R.P.D.
And It Happens like this! "
Duck and cover I'll save you
Fuck with me and I'll shoot you
All the moves like Leon
I've got the moves like Leon
I've got the mooo-OOO-ooo-OO-ooves like Leon
I don't need a gun TO kill you
Just draw your knife and I'll face you
With them moves like Leon
I've got the moves like Leon
I've got the moves like Leon...
So Grab a gun and We can fight this!
Survive the night and kill the Tyrants!
Don't cower in fear!
When Birkin is near!
He might be a queer!...
But I fight like this!
Duck and cover I'll save you
Fuck with me and I'll shoot you
All them moves like Leon
I've got the moves like Leon
I've got the mooo-OOO-ooo-OO-ooves like Leon...
Thats all i got for now boys and girls :D Review!
