Disclaimer (which I forgot): I don't own Bleach. If I did I probably wouldn't have to stop and look up the Japanese terms/names every few minutes. Grah.
Notes: Again, updates probably won't be frequent. Although the first review being a relatively good one convinced me to put up the next chapter fast, since it was almost done, anyway.
Ichigo and the Beanstalk
A Bleach-ed Fairy Tale by
Nate Grey (XMAN0123-at-aol-dot-com)
Chapter 2: The Princess and the Strawberry
Ichigo was rather used to waking up in his reserved bed within the 4th Division to find Captain Unohana leaning over him, an infinitely patient expression on her face. It was one of those rare, fleeting experiences that Ichigo likened to having his mother back, if only for a moment. After Zaraki, she was the captain he respected the most, and certainly she was the only one that could ever get away with ruffling his hair, if the inclination ever struck her (which it hadn't, but that was just how comfortable Ichigo was around her).
"What's the damage this time, Unohana-sama?" he asked slowly, wincing at the hoarse sound of his voice.
"You won't be satisfied until you tear your body completely apart, will you, Kurosaki-kun?" she asked, a hint of reproach in her tone.
"Well, people would take it the wrong way if I just came by to see you whenever I wanted," Ichigo joked. He was hoping for at least a slight blush, but was disappointed.
"Flattery is not going to help you heal any faster," Unohana pointed out as she pressed her warm hand against his forehead and peered into each of his eyes. "And I would think you'd have more important things to occupy your mind right now."
He decided to humor her. "Like what?"
She paused, staring at him in a very obvious attempt to discern if he was being serious. "You must not remember what happened. Or perhaps you never realized?"
"I remember I lost."
"That is not even close to being accurate. Should I check for a concussion again?"
Ichigo frowned. "Wait, hold on. I didn't lose? But I went down first!"
Unohana shook her head. "Wrong again. You were the only one to physically fall."
In the several seconds that it took Ichigo to absorb this fact and replay the entire conversation in his head, he watched absently as Unohana continued her examination of him. When she seemed to be done, he cleared his throat. "Um, could you start at the beginning? Please?"
"Of course, Kurosaki-kun," was her immediate reply. "You managed to defeat Captain Zaraki, but you were physically unable to remain standing. Your opponent did not have the same problem. In fact, because he stayed upright, many people mistakenly assumed that he was the victor."
"Like me," Ichigo muttered.
She patted his arm in a way that was both comforting, and a sign that he should be quiet so she could finish talking. "As I went out to collect you, I noticed a sharp drop in Captain Zaraki's spiritual pressure, just before it vanished entirely."
Ichigo blinked. "I must really need to brush up on my kido, because I don't think I've heard of that spell. And I didn't think the Captain would ever bother with stuff like that. Sounds damn useful, though."
Unohana squeezed his arm gently. "Kurosaki-kun... it was not a spell, or even intentional on Captain Zaraki's part."
The look of realization that appeared on Ichigo's face was one of both horror and self-disgust. "No..." he whispered.
She said nothing, merely trying to convey her sympathy through her eyes.
"NO!" Ichigo shouted, sitting up so violently that he reopened several wounds on his chest. "HE CAN'T BE!"
Sighing, Unohana pressed her hand firmly to his chest. "Kurosaki-kun, you are shouting."
Normally, such a statement would have had no effect, but combined with a significant amount of her own spiritual pressure, Ichigo closed his mouth and laid back down on the bed, even though the upset was still clear on his face.
"I thought I should be the one to tell you," Unohana continued softly. "Captain Zaraki did not suffer. From all appearances, he thoroughly enjoyed himself in his final moments."
"I still killed him," Ichigo said flatly.
"I can say with confidence that he died in the way he would've preferred to: in heated battle, with someone he admired. You were his favorite sparring partner."
Ichigo scowled at her. "That doesn't really make me feel any better, Unohana-sama."
"My work would be far easier if I could make people feel better simply by talking, Kurosaki-kun, but that was not my intention. I am merely pointing out that the man was fond of you, and would not blame you for what happened. I am quite certain he would find the whole situation amusing." She sighed in a way that was almost wistful. "You know how much he enjoyed chaos."
"Aren't you supposed to be mad at me?" Ichigo asked incredulously. He didn't quite mean that, but still felt the need to ask. Unohana had patched him up more than enough times for him to consider her his personal doctor, and even if she wouldn't admit it, she could double as a therapist if it ever became necessary. So the idea that she didn't seem at all upset about his killing Zaraki was very weird. If nothing else, it should mean more work for her, since she was required to examine any fallen captains.
Unohana shook her head slightly. "Kurosaki-kun, it was an accident. Everyone could see that. It is not as if you murdered Captain Zaraki in cold blood. To be honest, most of us expected his end to be far more grisly. You may have done him a favor in that respect. Besides, what good would it do to be angry with you? I can see that you are already punishing yourself enough as it is."
"What about Yachiru?" he asked quietly. "How's she taking it?"
"Not well, from what I've heard," Unohana admitted slowly. "The last anyone saw her, she was refusing to emerge from her quarters. I'm afraid that's the best we can hope for right now. Captain Zaraki was her whole world."
"Don't remind me," he muttered, covering his face with a pillow.
Matsumoto Rangiku was in a grumpy mood, to say the least.
No matter how far she had come in her relationship with her captain, he always managed to remind her, at regular intervals, that he particularly enjoyed his space, especially when she was not in it.
But usually he had the common decency to not be quite so PUBLIC with his feelings.
She wanted to believe that Hitsugaya just thought she could handle the responsibility, but she was steadily leaning towards the idea that not only had he KNOWN that she couldn't, but that he had been far more concerned with just getting her out of his hair for a day or two.
Why else would he have volunteered her, in front of all the other captains, to watch over the 11th Division temporarily? With a sadistic smirk on his face, no less!
Well, she would show HIM. If she couldn't handle a couple of hundred drunken brutes, she had no right to call herself a lieutenant. Anyway, she had the perfect weapons to keep them in line: T & A.
Yes, Tactics and Associates! Those would be her weapons of choice. So to speak. She would rule the 11th Division with a firm hand, and dump all of the paperwork on Ikkaku and Yumichika. Yes, it was a FINE plan, indeed!
Only Ikkaku was mysteriously missing, almost as if he had KNOWN her plan ahead of time. But poor Yumichika was none the wiser. Tough luck for him.
Thus assured, Matsumoto confidently strolled out into the courtyard, where the whole of the 11th Division had gathered to be addressed by their new (temporary) leader. "HI, BOYS!" she greeted happily, being sure to wave as much as she could. And if she happened to lean forward a BIT more than most would consider necessary, well, THAT could be categorized as an accident.
The carefully arranged sight of her bountiful cleavage? Not so much.
The reactions were noticeable and immediate. Many men gaped openly. Some drooled. Others' heads rocked back, as if struck by an invisible force, blood spurting from their noses.
"I trust introductions aren't needed, and I'd prefer you just call me by my proper title, for now. Oh, and I really just have one rule, but it's very important. You may look, but do not touch. If you forget that rule, I will remind you, PAINFULLY, that I am a lieutenant, and you are not. Now that that's out of the way, um..." She tapped her chin thoughtfully with a finger, then brightened. "Oh, I know! All of you fight each other! Right now!"
This was met with some confused, half-hearted looks. It wasn't that they had a problem fighting each other (quite the opposite, they were the combat division, after all), but it usually wasn't phrased quite so bluntly. Most people at least bothered to dress it up by calling it training, or even sparring, but-
"Winner gets a kiss!" Matsumoto added with a flirty wink.
The courtyard erupted into a huge, frenzied battle, in which much blood was spilled, and in some cases, limbs nearly lost.
An hour later, there was a clear winner: the 5th Seat Yumichika, who, not surprisingly, wasn't all that interested in a kiss. This was fine with Matsumoto, since she hadn't been all that eager to kiss him in the first place (and she had never actually stated the kiss would come from her, which she would have mentioned if the winner was not to her liking). Anyway, she knew a wasted kiss when she saw one. So they shook hands, and she gave him his alternate prize: glorious PAPERWORK!
Yumichika was not pleased.
The rest of the division was too injured to do much except moan and groan, so Matsumoto tackled the first member of the 4th Division that she saw, vaguely mentioned that there was a mess in the 11th that they MIGHT want to take a look at, and skipped off to find her beloved captain and punish him with a hug. He so hated those, or at least he claimed he did. But she knew better. After all, there wasn't a red-blooded heterosexual male alive OR dead that could possibly not enjoy hugging her, she was certain of it!
Only minutes after Matsumoto left, there was an incident involving the 11th Division.
In short, every building in it was utterly destroyed.
There were no witnesses, though this was due to all of the shinigami being so thoroughly exhausted by Matsumoto's contest that they had no real hope of escaping the damage. Consequently, most of them had yet to regain consciousness, and the few that did were still too out of it to recall much in detail.
The list of suspects behind the destruction was very short: only one. Three seated officers had missed Matsumoto's introduction, and of those, two had been in the 4th Division at the time. The one remaining officer was positively identified later in the day by a severely beaten man, who had apparently been trying to coax her out of her quarters with candy. Upon waking up, the first words out of his mouth had been, "But it's me, your faithful Maki-Maki, Lieutenant Kusajishi... NO, DON'T HIT ME WITH THE BED!"
As the first captain on the scene, Hitsugaya had immediately noted that everything (and everyone) appeared to have been crushed by a tremendous force. What truly worried him, however, was the fact that no one had sensed a massive release of spiritual pressure, which should've been necessary to cause such damage. He was one of many people reminded that day that only one man knew the true extent of Yachiru's powers, and unfortunately for them, he had taken those secrets to the grave.
Ichigo spent the night in the 4th Division, less because Unohana ordered him to, and more because he didn't want to have to face Yachiru. Part of him was still hoping that this was all some very elaborate nightmare, and that any moment now, he'd wake up and hear Zaraki telling him to roll his lazy ass out of bed so they could have another rematch.
It was real, though, and this was confirmed when Ichigo woke up the following morning to find himself with two visitors.
"Ikkaku... Renji... what the hell are you guys doing here?" Ichigo muttered. "And what the hell is that?" He pointed to long object wrapped in thick cloth that Ikkaku was holding in front of him.
The two shinigami exchanged glances before the bald one finally spoke. "You defeated Captain Zaraki in combat... again, Ichigo. By might and right, this is yours." He held out the object expectantly.
Ichigo started to reach for it, but the moment he did so, he realized what it had to be. "No," he grunted. "I don't want-"
"By might and right," Ikkaku repeated severely, glaring at him, "this is yours. Take it, Ichigo. Captain Zaraki wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Just take the damn sword," Renji sighed, "or do you want to sit here all day and argue with him? Don't think he won't do it, either."
Ichigo knew just how devoted to Zaraki that Ikkaku was... well, had been... and that Renji was absolutely right. Reluctantly, he reached out and accepted Zaraki's zanpakuto. It felt too light in his hands, and Ichigo was uncertain if this was because the owner was dead, or because he himself was far too used to lugging Zangetsu around.
"So when's my trial?" Ichigo asked mildly, carefully leaning Zaraki's sword against the wall, right beside the wrapped form of Zangetsu. "Or do they just imprison me right away?"
"Are you nuts?" Renji demanded. "Don't you even know what's going on, you idiot?"
"I've been stuck in here since yesterday, so what do you think, genius?"
"Everyone knows you've beaten Captain Zaraki before," Ikkaku explained. "But this time, the whole 11th Division and two captains saw you do it. This time, you're the 3rd Seat, not just some ryoka with weird hair."
Ichigo frowned and shook his head. "Yeah, and?"
"How slow ARE you?" Renji groaned. "I feel sorry for anybody that'll have to take orders from you. Don't think because they hand you a white-"
"It's very likely that you'll be chosen as the next captain of the 11th Division, Ichigo," Ikkaku interrupted quickly.
"You shouldn't joke with a guy that's still recovering," Ichigo muttered, rolling his eyes.
"This is NOT something I would ever joke about," Ikkaku pointed out. "Sir."
"Do that again and I'll kill you next," Ichigo said without thinking, before wincing and biting his lip. "I'm the same guy I was the last time I kicked your ass, so don't go getting any stupid ideas."
"Don't be a fool, Ichigo. Do you really think we would follow anyone but the man who defeated our captain? You have only one option available to you: you must succeed Captain Zaraki."
Hitsugaya was impressed. Out of all the places he had assumed that Yachiru might go to, the 12th Division was nowhere on the list. True, she was only sitting on the roof of one of the less frequently used research labs, but already she'd attracted some attention. Usually anyone from outside the 12th Division was halted before they got anywhere near the buildings, but Yachiru had either been too fast or too powerful, because while many people knew she was there, none of them had been quite brave enough to confront her.
It was a little-known fact that Yachiru was on good terms with Kurotsuchi Nemu, and while the two lieutenants rarely ever spent time together, they managed to maintain a working relationship that was mutually beneficial. Captains Zaraki and Kurotsuchi couldn't stand each other, so disagreements were bound to occur between them. But whenever Kurotsuchi wanted to do extra research on a few prisoners without interference from the 11th Division, his experiments would strangely begin at the same times that Zaraki was overseeing the daily mandatory spars for his subordinates. Likewise, Nemu would always warn Yachiru when Kurotsuchi was in an especially sadistic mood (although how she could tell was anyone's guess). It was certain that Kurotsuchi knew nothing of this arrangement (he would've punished Nemu severely), and while Zaraki did, he accepted it as a necessary evil, or at least a favor to a friend of Yachiru.
Hitsugaya was not slowed down in any way as he strode towards where Yachiru was perched. There were plenty of uneasy looks exchanged among the 12th Division officers as he walked past them, but none were brave enough to block his path. As much as they feared their captain, none were crazy enough to actually interfere with another captain, even if he was the youngest.
He found Nemu standing at the base of the lab, staring up at Yachiru with a slight frown on her face. She was so distracted that she didn't even notice Hitsugaya until he said, "Lieutenant Kurotsuchi."
Nemu turned around to face him, instantly composing her face into the blank expression with which he was so familiar. "Captain Hitsugaya. How can I help you?" she asked, bowing slightly.
"I need to speak with her. Do you think she would object?"
"While I would not advise it, I will not stand in your way," Nemu replied. "But please allow me to inform her of your intention first. The situation would only worsen if she received another unpleasant shock." With that, she took the building in a single leap and knelt beside Yachiru. A few seconds later, Nemu hopped back down. "Good luck, Captain," was all she said, moving out of his way.
Hitsugaya nodded and leaped up to the roof, preparing himself for anything.
"So you found me," Yachiru said quietly, not even bothering to look up. She hugged her knees a little tighter to her chest. "I'm in a lot of trouble, huh?"
"That is not for me to decide," Hitsugaya replied, frowning.
"Sure it is," she murmured. "You outrank me, and you have proof that I did something bad. You could arrest me."
"I... you are mistaken. You are still the 11th Division Lieutenant, and I would not-"
"You arrested Hinamori once, and she was driven by grief. Why is it any different now?"
Hitsugaya turned away from her. "Hinamori was being manipulated as part of Aizen's betrayal. But there is no greater plot here. Ichigo would never choose to kill Captain Zaraki. So your logic, even if it is tainted with grief... is acceptable to me."
Yachiru blinked and slowly lifted her head. "Thank you... Shiro-chan," she whispered with a watery smile.
"That, however, is NOT acceptable," Hitsugaya growled.
She laughed at him, though not unkindly. "Okay. I'll go with you. Just... can we stay here for a while? I want to... think for a little bit."
He stared at her, the frown surfacing again. "You've changed, Yachiru."
"Of course I have," she sighed, dropping her chin to her knees. "My Ken-chan is dead..."
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry."
"Are you really?" Yachiru asked. "What would you do to make me feel better?"
Hitsugaya wisely backed up a step. "What do you want?"
Yachiru's hand flew to the hilt of her sword as she hopped to her feet. "Let's fight!"
He blinked. "You can't be serious."
"What's the matter, Shiro-chan? You scared a girl lieutenant is gonna whoop your cute little butt?" she asked, grinning hugely.
Hitsugaya narrowed his eyes. "You are going to regret this, Yachiru," he promised, slowly reaching back to grasp Hyourinmaru's hilt. "It is not my wish to hurt you, but I will defend myself."
"Well, good. I don't want this to be too easy." Yachiru beamed as she drew her sword.
Inwardly, Hitsugaya was honored. He would be the only other captain, no, the only other shinigami in the Seireitei to see Yachiru's zanpakuto, to his knowledge. He was ready.
Except, he wasn't. Because it wasn't a sword at all that emerged from Yachiru's sheath.
It was a tail. A silver, twitching cat's tail stretched from the hilt in Yachiru's hand back to the sheath. Any more pressure and she was likely to rip the poor thing apart.
"Get ready, Shiro-chan, cuz here I come!" Yachiru shouted, just before she gave a final, mighty heave.
Hitsugaya was only partially relieved to see that Yachiru didn't rip the tail off completely. But he was far more startled by what emerged from the sheath now: a whole silver cat, which was obviously quite perturbed about not only being kept in a space far too small for it for so very long, but being yanked out of it so abruptly and painfully.
"Crush, Suteneko!" Yachiru sang the instant the cat landed on the roof in front of her. With that, she yanked the cat back into the air by it's tail, and began swinging it rapidly over her head, ignoring the poor creature's yowls of rage.
To say Hitsugaya was still stunned as Yachiru ran at him was a huge understatement. Was she really going to hit him with a cat? Blinking, he drew Hyourinmaru, planning to simply knock the cat aside with the flat of the blade. But in doing so, Hitsugaya was overlooking the fact that Yachiru had just destroyed the 11th Division.
However, he was reminded of it, when Yachiru neatly sidestepped his first swipe, and brought Suteneko down with a feral gleam in her eyes. But it was not soft fur or even furious claws that struck Hitsugaya's face. It was a solid, unyielding mass of steel that rocked his head violently to the side and loosened several of his teeth.
Hitsugaya stumbled away, seeing stars as he spat blood on the roof. He tightened his grip on Hyourinmaru and glared at Yachiru, who was waiting patiently for him to regain his bearings, twirling that damned cat over her head the whole time.
"Ready to get serious now, Shiro-chan?" she asked. As she spoke, the cat began to glow bright pink, and Yachiru attacked again.
This time, Hitsugaya was ready, and easily avoided the blow. The roof did not, and when Suteneko struck it, instead of just creating a sizeable hole, the entire building shook and split apart down the middle, looking as if a huge boulder had just hit it.
Yachiru didn't seem to have noticed the damage, though she did hop over the rapidly widening gap between them, and Hitsugaya was hard-pressed to avoid the next blow with the added momentum, much to his surprise. All he could really do was block Suteneko with Hyourinamaru, and he worried that his sword would not last long under such pressure.
"You know I won't go easy on you just because you're cute!" Yachiru giggled, grinning widely.
Hitsugaya frowned as he forced her back, and wondered just what he'd gotten himself into.
If there was one thing about Ichigo that had always annoyed Kuchiki Rukia, it was that no matter how much he learned, or how much stronger he got, he never quite mastered the basic ability to conceal, or at least limit his spiritual pressure.
In other words, she knew that he was in her office long before she entered it. What Rukia did not know until later was that he was hiding there. But it certainly explained why there was no sign of him as she walked in, and why she couldn't find him until it finally occurred to her to look under her desk.
The sight of Ichigo staring back at her, hunched into an obviously extremely uncomfortable position, was so amusing that Rukia was tempted to tell him how silly he looked, or just laugh in his face. But before she could open her mouth to do either, Ichigo reached out and covered her mouth with his hand.
"SHH!" he hissed, glancing around nervously before glaring at her.
Rukia glared right back as she sank her teeth into his hand.
"YAAAAH!!!" Ichigo shouted, ripping his hand away and accidentally banging his head against the desk. "SHIT!!!"
"If I have to come down there, Ichigo," Rukia growled, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand, "that bite will seem like a walk in the park."
Ichigo gave her a sour look. "Well, I can't really hide in plain sight, now, can I?"
"You? Of course not," she snorted. "You have ORANGE hair, you couldn't hide your spiritual pressure to save your life, and you're one of the loudest people I've ever met. Anyone that wants to find you is going to... especially if you insist on hiding in the office of the shinigami who knows you best, idiot."
"All the more reason for you to hide me, then," he argued, shaking his hand rapidly in hopes that the pain would fade faster.
"I am not going to help you hide from your responsibility, Ichigo," Rukia said sternly. "Why is it that when it comes to something you shouldn't be involved in, like saving me, you throw yourself in headfirst, but with this promotion, which you should welcome, you run and hide?"
Ichigo crawled out from under the desk and stood up, glaring at her. "Because I could live with myself if I turned my back on this."
Rukia looked away in an effort to keep her eyes from watering. Ichigo was a brave, stupid boy, and had been from the moment she met him... but he could be sweet, too, in his own foolish, stubborn way. And damn him if she wasn't especially fond of him in those moments.
"Could you really, Ichigo? I don't think you've given this much thought... as usual." She sighed and shook her head. "Captain Zaraki was... a very hard man to like. But you liked him. He gave you a place to belong in a world of strangers, and he helped your friends in a time of need. If you couldn't abandon me, I find it very hard to believe that you could walk away from this promotion. The 11th Division needs you. Yachiru needs you. We all do. More than that, you need this position. You're one of the strongest shinigami here, and it's time you accepted that and stopped running from your problems. Face them head on, and become the man I know you can be."
"How come you're only supportive when I don't want you to be?" he muttered. "The only kind of man I am right now is a killer, Rukia."
Rukia admirably resisted the urge to hit him. "Ichigo, Captain Zaraki wasn't a pacifist, you know. Maybe you should take this as a sign that you're more alike than you care to admit. You are the strongest one in the 11th Division now, and they would follow no one else. And besides, you know that one kill doesn't have to define the rest of your life."
Ichigo frowned as he gazed at the supposedly calm look on Rukia's face. He knew that just under the surface, she was remembering when she'd taken the life of a friend, and how difficult it had been for her to move on. That she could speak about it so casually now was a clear sign of her progress. Ichigo wondered if he'd ever feel that way about Zaraki's death. Right now, it just didn't seem all that likely.
"It's okay to regret what happened," she said quietly. "That's normal. But you saved me, Ichigo, and I wouldn't be any kind of friend if I let you walk away from this chance." Rukia smirked. "Anyway, if you don't do it, I can order you around all I want." She made a show of picking up the new, golden nameplate Captain Ukitake had given her (a little prematurely, but few people could say no to one of his smiles) and polishing it on her sleeve. "I'll even make you call me Lieutenant Kuchiki."
"Careful, Rukia," Ichigo said, smiling to himself. "I'll remember this when I arrange for you to be transferred into my Division. And then you'll have to call me-"
"Captain Strawberry," Rukia replied with a grin. "Actually, I don't think I'd mind that one bit, Ichigo."
"Well, I think I would," Captain Ukitake commented as he walked into the office. "Honestly, Kurosaki, where are your manners? Plotting to steal my fine lieutenant before you even become a captain is hardly in good taste. Were I anyone else, I believe I'd be deeply offended."
"It's her fault!" Ichigo insisted, pointing at Rukia. "She gave me the idea!"
"I did not!" Rukia shouted angrily.
"You did! I had to think of a way to get you back once you started teasing me!"
"But it was still YOUR idea, idiot!"
Humming happily to himself, Ukitake made himself a cup of tea and sat down to watch the heated argument. Once he'd drained his cup, he set it aside, stood up, and headed for the door.
Rukia was the first to notice. "Captain? I apologize if we were being too noisy..."
He waved her off. "Oh, the twittering of young lovebirds has never bothered me. But there is a matter of considerable importance that I've been putting off."
Rukia and Ichigo both turned bright red. Despite their best efforts, they had never been able to convince the captain that they weren't secretly a couple.
"Actually, Kurosaki, maybe you should come along. If Hitsugaya is having trouble dealing with this, it may not be a matter of skill."
"Handling what, Captain?" Rukia asked.
"Oh, it's just Yachiru. Apparently she's been hiding captain-level strength somewhere, because Hitsugaya was barely able to get away long enough to call for assistance. He stressed that that only shinigami that have at least faced a captain in battle longer than a minute should bother to respond."
Ichigo and Rukia blinked and stared at each other.
"You know, suddenly I'm liking my current Division just fine," Rukia said. "So you'd better go put yours in order, Captain Straw-"
Scowling, Ichigo pressed a finger to her lips. "Save it, Rukia. I need you to track down Rangiku and Nemu. It might not be too late to talk Yachiru out of... whatever she's trying to do, and she'll listen to them before anyone else."
Rukia pushed his finger away. "And what are you going to do?"
"Hope I don't have to get involved directly. Seeing me will probably just piss her off even more."
As another large tremor rocked the Seireitei, Captain Soifon pursed her lips and increased her speed. She was starting to suspect that this matter would not be resolved without her involvement.
Already there was a chaotic whirlwind of activity: everyone was upset about one thing or another, and while none of these things had concerned Soifon specifically, eventually she'd gotten a request (not an order, amazingly enough) from General Yamamoto to "look into the matter."
Before that, though, several unwelcome people had barged into her office, serving only to make complete nuisances of themselves. First (and loudest, as usual) had been Captain Kurotsuchi. He'd practically thrown a tantrum about "two little hooligans" who had completely destroyed his office and much of his Division, and demanded that Soifon do something about it. When she had calmly (barely) asked why she should, his immediate reply was that this was a task for her special forces, as only they would be able to handle the problem. Naturally, she hadn't quite believed him, at least not until runners began pouring in with damage reports and photographic evidence.
Combined with the total destruction of the 11th Division, the situation had earned the rare distinction of having Soifon's full attention. She had immediately gone to see General Yamamoto. He had not seemed all that concerned, and merely suggested that she might want to investigate before he had to make it an order. Soifon had not missed the veiled implication that he would prefer not to lose another Division in the meantime.
It was a little difficult for Soifon to wrap her mind around the idea that Yachiru might be behind all of this destruction, though. Of course, the girl had to have a forceful side to be a successful lieutenant in the 11th Division, and sometimes she had gotten a little too hyper in the Shinigami Women's Association meetings, but nothing that would ever indicate that she was capable of such wide scale destruction.
The thought was still fresh in Soifon's mind when she came to a stop in the middle of what she first mistook as a new walkway. It was odd, because she distinctly remembered that there had been a small guard station there just last month, but did not recall any plans to remove it.
Then she noticed that everything ELSE in the immediate area was curiously missing, or at least, crushed to such a degree that everything for miles around looked like part of some grand new walkway.
A second later, she felt a curious fluctuation in spiritual pressure, and just barely recognized it as Captain Hitsugaya's. It was strange because he usually fought with such reservation and control, but what Soifon was currently detecting indicated that he was in danger of losing, and very much worried by that.
She did not have to look far to find her fellow captain, because in the next moment, Hitsugaya appeared overhead, completely encased in thick ice, save for his face. He landed heavily in front of her, splintering the ground with his increased weight, though the ice surprisingly remained intact.
Before either of them could say a word, there was a high-pitched battle cry, and then something silver and screaming plowed into Hitsugaya's side, shattering much of his ice armor and knocking him to the ground. Even as he scrambled away, the ice rapidly reformed, though not quite as quickly as Soifon had seen it do in the past, which indicated that both Hitsugaya and Hyourinmaru were at their limit.
Yachiru leapt practically out of nowhere, pouncing on the fallen captain with an almost feral grin on her face. "I told you it'd only get worse if you ran from me, Shiro-chan!" she giggled.
Soifion frowned. "Yachiru," she said severely.
The girl blinked and looked up. "Oh, hi! Are you the one Shiro-chan promised would come and fight me next?"
Soifon could tell from Hitsugaya's weary, panicked expression that the correct answer to this was an emphatic "yes," even though she had received no such summon. "I suppose," she said evenly. "But I'll have to insist that you stop destroying Divisions. You already have two under your belt, and General Yamamoto is not amused."
"Well, so long as we fight," Yachiru replied, picking up to object she'd apparently thrown at Hitsugaya. "Go, Suteneko!"
Soifon's eyes widened in shock as a silver cat extracted itself from the ice debris, shaking itself off and yowling in a most irritated fashion.
Then it changed colors, from silver to...
...black.
Which meant that Soifon was expected to do battle with a black cat.
After several moments passed with nothing moving but the restless wind, Suteneko decided it was time for a break. After taking a few minutes to lick itself clean, it stalked over to Sofion, rubbed itself against her ankles, and let loose with a round of contented purring.
When reinforcements arrived minutes later, they would find Yachiru perched on top of a passed out Hitsugaya, trying to determine how best to describe her defeat of two captains, and then put it to music. Nearby, Soifon was fiercely cuddling a black cat, crooning out a heartfelt murmur of "Yoruichi-sama!" every few seconds as the cat rumbled happily and waved its tail.
Matsumoto, who had been the first to arrive, shrugged, whipped out an instant camera that Orihime had give her, and began taking pictures. Then she had to be restrained when the others refused to help her re-position her captain in a variety of funny poses.
End of Chapter 2.
Next Chapter: Rip Van Kurosaki
In which Ichigo wakes up to yet another bad situation, Unohana reads Zaraki's will, and Yachiru is presented with a difficult choice.
Endnotes:
Suteneko: abandoned (stray) cat
You might have noticed that I've gone out of my way to give Yachiru an unconventional zanpakuto. I have yet to see a confirmed description of her sword, other than Ikkaku made little wheels for the sheath. So I figured, hey, I'll make one up and make it really, really strange. Should I have done that? It's debatable. But the idea of Yachiru even holding a sword seems wrong to me, and I much prefer the idea of her swinging around a mistreated cat that happens to weigh more than a wrecking ball.
This chapter title inspired by "The Princess and the Pea," which is a story about a girl who ends up sleeping on a bunch of mattresses, which happen to be resting on a pea that is miraculously NOT crushed. Her reward for noticing this astounding fact? Royalty. No, really, they make her a princess based on the idea that she could feel the pea through the mattress pile, and I'm not sure who the bigger freak is in the end: the people in charge, the princess, the people willing to follow her, or the pea.
