1. Would You Believe…Fired?
After a half hour of trudging along the street and feeling sorry for himself he finally reached the large, gray building that held CONTROL headquarters. He entered the front door and descended a flight of stairs. As he neared the bottom the door that was at the base of the stairs slid open automatically. Before him stretched a long gray hallway, a red stripe painted precisely down the center, with doors at twenty foot intervals. He proceeded to pace down the corridor, the doors repeatedly opening for him and shutting behind him. This was all just routine. Every day as he went to work he came through these doors proudly with his shoulder thrown back and his head held high. But this time was different. His feet dragged against the ground and his shoulders slumped. He looked pitifully dejected. At the end of the hallway stood a lone telephone booth. Max entered it and lifted the headset off the hook. He dialed in his number, 86, and waited for the tone, once he heard it he replaced it back on the catch. As soon as that was done a trap door opened and Smart descended into a small closet-like chamber. Once again a door slid open, reveling the CONTROL lobby. He stepped into it.
"I've got to see the Chief." Max said to a stout man sitting behind the reception desk.
"Well you can't see him here. You'll have to go into his office if you want to look at him. Although I don't know why; he's not much to look at."
"I know that Larabee. When I said I wanted to see him I didn't mean… Oh never mind." He was not in the mood to get into one of Larabee's nonsense conversations.
The chief's door opened for him and he walked in. 99 was standing next to the Chief's desk her arms crossed and eyes averted.
"You called me Chief?" He said timidly to the balding and scowling man behind the writing desk.
"SMART! Have you any idea how important that cat was?!" The Chief shouted.
"Not even a 'hello' huh?" Max glanced at 99 and gave her a sheepish smile. But she refused to even look at him. He swallowed hard and turned his attention back to the Chief who had now stood up and was pounding on the desktop with his fist.
"That was the most important mission we've had for three years!" He was saying. "I gave my full confidence in you and you blew it!" If you think Max and 99's day was bad you should hear the Chief's story. In the morning Larabee totaled his car in the parking lot, then, of course, there was the incident with agent 45. After he got a letter from his brother telling him his only niece had eloped with a wild biker. At noon he had to call the metal shop and an ambulance to get agent 44 out of the miniature file cabinet. And to top it all off Max has to shoot their only lead to KAOS. He really needed to yell at somebody and right now Max was the perfect candidate.
"You never get anything right!"
"Oh, come on, Chief. Not everything."
"Every mission you've had for the last six months you've totally demolished. How do you account for that?"
"Conspiracy?"
"You've cost CONTROL far over a million dollars in damages just this month!"
"It can't be that much."
"Okay, Max, lets count it. Shall we?" He began to list the episodes on his fingers. "The carpet in the White House."
"It was an ugly color anyway. Besides, those candles were just an accident waiting to happen."
"Did you know that Professor Parker is still in the hospital."
"Hey, it isn't my fault that 4Ck~ looks exactly like grape jelly. And the Professor should know better than to leave chemicals just laying around like that."
99 watched the conversation in silence. She was beginning to feel sorry for Max but she felt he deserved a little punishment for what he'd said.
"You know I don't think you've done one thing right since June?"
"Don't you think you're exaggerating just a little?"
"NO!! in fact I think CONTROL would be better off without you."
"Just a minute Chief. What are you getting at?" Max was use to the Chief getting angry but he's never said that before.
"You know exactly what I'm getting at. YOU'RE FIRED!!"
Max staggered backward as if he'd just been hit in the chest by a bullet. But these words hurt more than any weapon. He finally caught his balance by leaning against a chair. Even 99 glanced at the Chief in surprise. "Wh-what?" He stammered after a moment of complete disbelief.
"You heard me! Now turn in your pistol and identification card." Max reached a shaky hand into his suit and brought out his wallet. He couldn't believe this was happening. He's worked for CONTROL since he was twenty. It was all he knew. He carefully pulled out a card, 'PONTIAC GREETING CARD COMPANY' it said in bold letters next to his photo. For one last time he held it up to the light and watched his code number appear as well as the CONTROL address and insignia. He slowly and reluctantly handed it to the Chief. Tears were welling up in his eyes as he pulled his 44 out of its holster. Max turned it over in his hand for a moment. Once again he looked over at 99. But all he got in return was an icy cold glare. He now knew how a ranking officer felt when they were removed of their stripes. He gently set the gun in his former boss's hand, but as he let go his wedding ring caught the hair trigger. They all ducked as the bullet bounced off the metal file cabinet, broke two lamps and an expensive picture frame before it lodged itself in the wall.
"Missed me by that much." Max indicated the space he was holding between his index finger and thumb. His relief of not getting hit was immediately crushed as he saw the enraged faces of his former colleagues. He saw another shower of harsh word about to burst toward him. He turned and ran into the lobby.
"SMART!!" Was the only word that reached his ears as he entered the phone booth elevator. He fought to hold his tears back as he ran back through the hall of doors, up the steps and out onto the street. He usually took any bad situation with stride and a note of sarcasm, but as he felt his whole world, everything he knew and loved, being pulled out from under him, he couldn't seem to think of anything smart to say.
