Yay! A new chappie! Enjoy! XD. Please review on whether it is better or worse than the last.

Alex stared for a minute, floundering about what he was going to say, opening and shutting his mouth, just like Bob the Goldfish. Who is dead and never existed in the first place. Finally, after three hours had passed and everyone else had been frozen in the same position, he found a comeback.

"You wish, Wolf." Everyone jolted back to life in time to hear Wolf make a choking sound. Alex laughed manically at the man's discomfort and shut up when he realised he sounded like a bad guy.

"You little brat!" Roared Wolf, "Do I look like a fucking paedophile?" There were a few murmurs of 'yes' and 'definitely', along with 'no doubt about it'.

"What? You can't be serious!" Yelled Wolf.

"Maybe if you did your hair differently, you wouldn't look so paedo-ish!" Sang Eagle. Yes. Eagle sang. Then continued on to sing 'I'm not gonna grow up' by Simple Plan, which suited him perfectly. Anyway, he's insane, and when you're insane, anything makes sense.

"Jeez, Wolf." Snake chipped in, "Have you ever wondered why parents pull their kids away when we go to the supermarket on leave?"

For the first time in his life, Wolf whimpered. Everyone stared in shock, and Wolf zoned out, mortified at himself. He had never whimpered... Not even when he was five and broke his arm. No, he had not whimpered. He had instead been swearing profusely all the way to the hospital. When a nurse had tried to be nice to him and asked him if he was alright, he had told her, 'My arm stings like shit, you dick! Pull yer messed up head outta yer bloody arse!'" Her face... He still chuckled about it even now.

Then Wolf zoned in and realised everyone was staring at him. Cheeks burning with shame, he ran out of the hut, distraught. He now really understood all the women he'd ever dated when they'd needed to vent.

"Sargey!" The *destructible* indestructible leader of K-Unit wailed as he became a blob in the distance. A blob with dodgy hair.


The next morning Alex Rider, teenage spy extraordinaire, who thought he'd seen everything there possibly was to see, who thought he'd gone through every horror there was, woke up to a life-scarring sight that he had certainly not expected to see. Ever.

Wolf was lying in his bed, completely out. Ok, that was normal. But the problem was Wolf's head. For it donned... A Mohican. It went about 10 centimetres into the air! Alex fell out of his bed and flat on his face with utter shock, which managed to wake everyone else up.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" Shrieked Eagle when he saw his leader's new hairstyle. "Who the hell are you? Where's Wolf?"

"I am Wolf!" Snarled the caffeine-deprived man. Eagle screamed even louder the second time. Finally Snake managed to rasp out a comment.

"Wolf... What have you done to your head? I mean, I've got nothing against Mohawks, but-"

"It's a Mohican." Alex interrupted.

"Mohawk!"

"Mohican!"

"Mohawk!"

"Mohican!"

"Mohican!"

"No, it's a Mohaw-" Alex stopped dead in the middle of the sentence when he realised Snake had tricked him. "You used reverse psychology! No fair! And it's a MO –BLOODY-HICAN!"

"Whatever! Anyway, as I was saying: Wolf, Mohawks are so not your style."

"It's a Mohi-" Alex was cut off as Snake decided to take action and stuck a plaster across the teen's mouth.

"Mnnhnnm!" Roared Alex, looking like he was on the verge of having a temper tantrum.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't hear you!" Taunted Snake in a voice that was overly sugary. Wolf suddenly grunted, bringing everyone's attention back to him.

"Well I like my hair, so tough!"

"O-Okay..." Sobbed Eagle, backing out of the hut, staring uncontrollably at the hair, then barging out the door in a sprint.

"Some friends you lot are!" Yelled Wolf, before huffing off in a fashion similar to a rhinoceros.

Snake and Alex glanced at eachother, Alex desperately tugging at the plaster to try and get it off.

"Mmnhmphmm!"

"Oh, you won't be able to get it off for about three days," Snake told Alex cheerfully, "It's a special superglue edition." In reply, Alex mimed eating something. Snake chuckled and said, "You'll just have to have the drip diet."

Alex's eyes widened in shock. No... Not the drip diet! Anything but that! It was for anorexic teenage girls, not macho teenage superspies that could keep up with the SAS! As if reading Alex's thoughts, Snake gave a sadistic smirk and walked out, leaving Alex to try and process the terror of what was to come.

Poor Alex! I'm so evil! No offence to people with Mohicans. As Snake said, Mohicans, or rather, Mohawks, don't suit him.