Disclaimer: I once asked my Magic 8 ball if I owned Harry Potter. It said, "All signs point to NO."
Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation
As it happened, Lily was very late for her rounds. Thankfully, though, she wasn't caught by a teacher or Remus as she made her way to the fifth floor, so all was well that ended well.
It turned out to be a rather slow night; by the time Lily had finished with the seventh floor she had only had to send a group of giggling Hufflepuffs off to their common room and pull Roland Davies and Mackenzie Fawcett out from behind the tapestry of Ignatius the Incorrigible on the sixth floor. Yawning as she ascended the stairs to the Divination Tower, her first tower of the night, Lily couldn't help but smile to herself. The castle was so peaceful and lovely at times like those, when no one else was around. Hogwarts was a gentle, quiet friend one could always count on as a constant.
Lily finished with the Divination Tower (she wouldn't have bothered if she hadn't been given orders to look through every tower; no one in their right mind would risk being caught by batty old Professor Delphi, who was so off her rocker she frequently told students that they should have been dead weeks ago or would marry a goat) and the North Tower before heading off to the Astronomy Tower. Normally she would save it for last so she could spend some extra time up there star gazing, but a look out the window earlier had shown clouds on the horizon, never a good sign in mid-October. Clouds of that variety heralded the coming of winter, when clear nights were far and few, so Lily figured she would visit the Astronomy Tower before the clouds blanketed anymore of the sky.
Anticipation boiled in Lily's veins as she climbed the stairs to the Astronomy Tower; the sparkling clarity of the stars was too much to resist. She didn't bother to quiet her feet as they made slapping noises against the last half of the spiral staircase. Rounding the last curve, Lily's emerald eyes glittered as the moonlight swept over her, as she inhaled the crisp fresh air. And then she looked at the top of the tower. Air sharply filled her lungs.
A lone, lanky figure lay in the center of the tower's top, his long black hair a halo surrounding his head.
Sirius Black.
And he was staring straight at her.
"What the hell are you doing up here, Black?"
His brow furrowed. "Nothing of consequence, like I said earlier. What's your excuse?"
"I'm on patrol, like I said earlier."
He was bemused now. "And how does that explain why you were running up the stairs like a bat outta hell?"
Damn him.
"Black, give me one good reason why I shouldn't get Professor McGonagall up here to put you in detention for the next month."
"Oh, relax Evans. I've just been looking at the stars."
Damn him eternally.
She brought a hand to her temple and closed her eyes. When she finally opened them, Black had propped himself up on his elbow and his eyes were…odd. Was that concern?
"You ok, Lily?"
If she ran now he'd have chased her. If she went off about something else he'd have pestered her until she told him the truth. If she just lied…well, she just couldn't bring herself to lie. So she gritted her teeth and, staring firmly across the wall of the tower out towards Hagrid's hut, she said, "I was coming up here to look at the stars."
There was a pointed silence.
She refused to look at him, for she knew he would be smirking at her.
But he surprised her. "You want to look at them with me?"
Her eyes snapped to his. He had never looked or sounded so innocent. Sirius patted the ground beside him.
"Oh."
Lily let out a sigh, and moved to sit precisely five feet to Black's right. She folded her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them; her head tilted so that she was looking directly at the stars above.
"No, no, no. If you can't do this the right way then we won't do it at all."
She turned her head (which admittedly was in an acutely uncomfortable position) to look at him. "Excuse me?"
"You can't just sit there and stare at them. No. You've got to lie back and let them sink in. Let them surround you. Otherwise, what's the point?"
Lily had never heard him speak so, well, poetically. Truth be told it frightened her. "Are you serious?"
The cheeky smiled returned, thank God. "Always have been, Lily Lou."
Curse the day he learned her middle name was Louise. Nevertheless, with an exasperated huff, she slid her knees out from under her arms until she was lying flat on her back with her hands folded on her stomach. Black did have a point; the sky looked so much bigger this way.
"'At a girl."
She rolled her eyes.
For a time they just lay there, at the top of the Astronomy Tower, gazing up at the winking stars. The only movement was the light wind as it blew wisps of hair into their faces. Neither cared.
Lily loved silence. It soothed her mind in a way nothing else could, so she could eventually drift away to a place where the weight of the world felt a little less heavy. Sirius, however, was not known for his quietude.
"So why exactly do you come up here?"
He was using what could only be known as his normal voice. As opposed to the drawling, sarcastic voice that accompanied him whenever he was out was out prowling with the Marauders or mouthing off to a teacher, this one was different. For one thing it was deeper and smoother. For another, it had a certain…warmth about it. This voice was perfectly calm. Gentle. It unnerved Lily and made her feel at home at the same time.
And that was truly terrifying, let me tell you. Lily couldn't muster up an angry voice in the face of it. So she said, "It's peaceful up here. When I'm looking at the stars I don't have to think about anything else."
Sirius made a noise of understanding. Lily turned her head to look at him. He wasn't looking at her, but rather his eyes were fixated on the stars, jumping from one to another, lingering on each with an almost bittersweet gaze.
"Why do you come up here?"
He sighed, a deep, rattling sigh. His eyes glazed over with melancholy.
"They remind me of my family; most of us are named for stars, you know. Coming up here, looking up at them…it's like we're all together again. Like things used to be, before all the shit started going down. You know?"
Lily knew.
"See, there I am up there." He pointed straight up to the brightest one. "The Dog Star."
Lily snorted. "Ironic."
He snapped his head over, an incredulous look on his face. "Why do you say that?"
She met him with her own incredulity. "Oh, come off it; you've probably snogged half the girls in this school by now."
"Oh." He chuckled, turning back to the sky. (Was that relief in his eyes?) "Yeah, I guess I have. No one under O.W.L.s level, though. I'm not a creep."
Lily literally bit her tongue.
"Look, there's Andromeda," he continued. "She's my only decent cousin; she got blasted off the family tree a couple of years back when she married a Muggleborn. Nice bloke, he is. She makes the best peanut butter cookies. And over there's Uncle Alphard. He's got a story for everything…"
Lily watched him as he pointed from star to star, each one with its own story. Goodness, he had a large family. Some stars made him smile, others grimace. Lily couldn't help her small smile as she listened; he'd never been so content around her.
"Orion, my father." Sirius paused, his voice strained. "And look, right in his middle, there's Bellatrix," he spat her name. Although she was only about ten years older than them, Madam Lestrange already had quite the reputation. "Regulus…"
The relationship between the Black brothers was already infamous at Hogwarts. They were complete opposites: day to night, light to dark. They rivaled over everything from marks to house points to Quidditch. Regulus was the favorite son, and he let everyone know it. Sirius, the black sheep, and everyone knew why. The animosity between them had increased over the summer, if that was possible.
"Things have gotten pretty bad between you two lately." She was watching his face, desperate for some sign of emotion. Why was that?
Sirius didn't disappoint. His face darkened and he let loose another sigh. He rolled back onto his side and looked at Lily. "He's the reason I left home."
Those fathomless pools of gray held so much pain.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Yes." And then his eyes clouded over. "But it's probably for the best that you know as little as possible. Less chance of something happening to you that way." He turned back to the sky, but Lily stayed on her side, staring at him.
"I got a letter from my sister this morning."
He looked back over at her, expressionless.
"She's getting married." There. She'd said it. That meant it was true. The words came gushing from her like a geyser. "To an absolutely horrible brute of a man with a head the exact shape and color of a ham."
His eyes softened; there was familiarity in them. "That was why you were so pissed in Defense."
She nodded. "She said if I had any sort of conscience I'd keep my freakishness away from him. She said her engagement was the best thing that ever happened to our family."
Sirius reached over and brushed off the tear she hadn't realized had fallen on her cheek. When had they moved so close?
"I'm sorry."
"She hates me."
And there it was. The look in his eyes. She was looking at herself. In that moment she knew no one, not Alice, not her mother, certainly not Severus, had ever known her the way Sirius Black did.
"How did this happen? She used to be my best friend."
"He was mine."
"What did we do wrong?
She would never know, because at that moment a clock chimed somewhere below them. Three o'clock.
Damn.
Lily stood abruptly. "I've still got two more towers to do." Was there even really a point now?
Sirius made no attempt to move. He just lay there, looking up at her with those storm cloud eyes.
She sighed. "Promise you'll at least go to bed sometime tonight?"
He smiled. "I promise, Lily Lou."
She believed him. She didn't even mind the nickname, for once. She made to leave, and just as she'd arrived at the top of the stairs, she heard him call back to her.
"Hey, Lily. You know I'm up here, right?"
Lily gave him a brilliant smile. She knew.
An hour later Sirius threw the invisibility cloak on James' trunk and collapsed onto his bed. He'd spent the last hour trying to kill the butterflies that had suddenly appeared in his stomach. And he'd been successful.
Hadn't he?
And there's Chapter 2! Lovely, isn't it. This is actually the chapter that sparked the whole story. I got the idea of them star gazing from on old abandoned Sirius/Lily fic, but I couldn't find it. If someone can find it for me I'd love to credit them for the idea.
The title is Drops of Jupiter by Train.
I'm going to be updating Tuesdays and Saturdays for the next couple weeks, but when classes start up it will just be Saturdays.
Also, thanks so much for the reviews! They make me bubbly. And a special thanks to those of you who favorited this story and/or put it on your alerts. It nice to know ya'll have such confidence in me after just the first chapter.
Til Tuesday!
