She pulled the chrome SUV into the driveway, a mood of melanchoney hovering over her as she aligned the car perfectly adjacent to the house. She studied him perched on the couch like a sad bird, hovering in the golden light of the salon. Hesitant, she clicked off the ignition bringing the roar of an engine to a sudden halt. Procrastinating she fidgeted with the CD's re-aligning them into alphabetical order, she never used to be so anal, she never used to have to have everything in such an immaculate order; but these days she would find any excuse to keep her from home, like he would notice anyways. Frustrated she pushed her hair off of her face, revealing a set of bloodshot eyes, and a pressed smile which somehow managed to convey a message of happiness that he was to numb to see through. She clicked the ignition back on hoping to make some sort of grand escape, glancing up at the window her eyes caught his, and she could see the slight glimmer of happiness in his face brought on by her arrival. The news highlights blared on the soft rock station, "Another report of a random home invasion in the South East region of Seattle, "A woman's voice proclaimed with a hint of concern, "It is suspected to be 3rd in a string of home invasions occurring at startling rate. The culprits seem to strike between the hours of 4-8 and residents are advised to be observant of their neighbourhoods, as well as keep their doors locked at all times." The voice switched over one of a middle aged man, which she presumed to be a cop, "So far all persons within the residencies have been presumed missing or dead. The burglars tend to strike when only one or two people ....." Tired of hearing their voices drone on she flicked off the radio, and took in a deep breath, preparing her for whomever she was to meet inside.
She had managed to stall 5 more minutes, before she slipped through the large wooden door s into the dimly lit sitting room. He was still perched on the couch, reading an outdated issue of "The Seattle Times."
"How was work," he asked with almost no enthusiasm in his voice.
"Err, Good" she replied suddenly animated, "It was actually really good the chief let me attempt my first appendectomy on the general surgery rotation today... as well I've been offered some great fellowships in Nero-surgery. Of course none of them are as good as the one Richard offered at SGH, but....."
"Hmmm," he said pensively, only giving her half of his attention.
"Derek," she sighed, "It's not to late, Richard still hasn't found a replacement for your position, and he asked me to talk to you about reconsidering your role at Seattle Grace,"
"Wow," he laughed, "You sure sound cute when you're being professional."
"Derek, I'm serious..." she protested, "It's just lately you don't seem..."
"I'm fine," he smiled picking up an empty wine glass, slipping the paper upper his arm, "We talked about this, I have the interview with the U of Seattle, medical department... for the professor position remember?"
"Yea," she sighed, he stepped toward her kissing her passionately but she felt nothing, only emptiness. She knew the drill, you only pretend to alright, you hide behind a carefully painted mask, you kiss you tell, you try to act normal, but no matter how hard you try someone always picks it up. He saw it in her a year ago, and now she saw it in him. That ocean of hopelessness that filled his deep blue eyes, the soft reassuring voice that whispered "I'm alright," although he clearly wasn't.
Frustrated she leaned over the counter and poured herself a glass a wine, she studied the red fluid full of life as it spiralled into the crystal glace. She could see her reflection in the scarlet fluid, her eyes dampened with sadness although she herself was completely content. She rinsed the corkscrew and opened the upper left drawer a smell of dried glue and dust wafted into the air. She slipped her hand into the drawer dropping the corkscrew with a quiet thud. As she retrieved her hand her fingers gracefully danced across a silky black box. Curiously she picked the box up toying with it in her perfectly manicured hands. It was small and draped in a smooth midnight silk, she could feel her stomach twinge... this wasn't... it couldn't be. Nervously she opened the box her body quivering with, excitement as well as complete and udder fear.
It was one of the most amazing stones she had ever seen, it caught every bit of light reflecting it back in an array of colors. In the top of the box lay a folded cue card, its white colour aged with time. The paper unfolded easily, its creases weakened by repetitive opening and closing. Tears gathered in her eyes as she read the masculine, yet neat cursive scratched onto the card in a thoughtful manner.
Meredith, on this day of February 6th, I ask up the most important question a man can ever ask a woman.
You where just a girl in a bar, I a boy, who knew that one night could finish a puzzle we both have spent our whole lives trying to figure out. Admitignly it was the thrill of the chase, but almost instantly it became so much more. I know you can't always trust me, even if deep down inside you want to. I know you aren't the romantic type, and I know, I know that you know I want to grow old with you, have kids with you, and do everything with you.
So Meredith, simply...
Pick me; choose Me, Marry Me.......
3 hours and 6 glasses of wine later she was still hovering over the marble counter top, her mind racing 100 miles a minute. That letter was written over 3 months ago, why he hadn't asked her. She was ready, she was different, and he knew that.... then it hit her, the only thing that had changed was him. He wasn't Derek anymore, hadn't been for about 3 months....... 3 months ago when he quit his job. He quit his job because of his inability to deal with death, his inability to accept he couldn't save them all.... which was brought on by the clinical trial..... This was forced on him by her.
"It's all my fault," she thought, "I broke him."
Pensively she placed the empty glass into the dishwasher, the house was sighlent... it was nearly 2 am, and everyone had long since been asleep. She loved Derek, but she hated seeing him this way, it was almost too much for her to bear....
"You alright?" a voiced asked, pulling her from her daze. Startled she flipped around almost knocking over the deep olive bottle of red wine.
"Mark," she sighed, "What are you doing here?"
"Lexie," he smiled his face full of enthusiasm, "I was... um with Lexie."
"Ah," she replied forcing a smile onto her face, as she fought the urge to reach for another glass of wine.
"Let's, just not tell Derek," he spoke anxiously, "You know..."
"Last time," she finished his sentence, "Yea, I know."
"Okay," the man smiled as giddy as a teenager, "Well, I'll guess I'll just disappear into the night then." With that he slipped out the back door, it creaked behind him. The wind caught hold of the old wooden structure flailing it back wards, slamming it against this outside wall. Slowly she approached it taking in the night air for a moment before she pulled it shut. Then it hit her.... she could just evanesce into the night... she could just disappear.
