What the Janitor Taught Me

Coda to Teen Titans Go 34 (aka, the Kid Flash issue)

Disclaimer: Don't own them.


"So, just because you flirted with four or five girls, one of them being myself, she dumped you?"

The gold and scarlet speedster nodded his head at let it hang.

"You're such an idiot."

He nodded again and took a bite out of his apple-cinnamon scone.

"Not saying much today, aren't you, West? You promised me a chat back at the Antarctica checkpoint."

Kid Flash raised his gaze to Raven's piercing amethyst stare. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words to form a sentence. Instead he absent-mindedly plugged his mouth with his scone and let the crumbs fall on his lap.

Raven tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and lifted her café latte to her lips. For Azar's sake, HE was the one who invited her for coffee and scones at her favorite café. This was definitely strange behavior for the usually hyperactive speedster. Having nothing of value to add to the conversation, she continued to sip her latte and occasionally nibbled on an orange-cranberry scone.

Minutes seemed to pass as Kid Flash fiddled with the crumbs that managed to fall on his plate instead of his uniform. It felt like an hour ago when they had placed another order for more scones, but in real time, it was actually two minutes. A gothic looking boy paused by their table to retrieve Raven and Wally's empty cups and replace them with freshly brewed lattes.

Raven glanced out the window from their booth. She'd much rather be playing Extreme Stankball with Cyborg and Beast Boy than be sitting in an uncomfortable silence with a mopey speedster who usually doesn't know when to shut the hell up. From her window, she spotted a couple of socialite girls with exposed midriffs, expensive jewelry, and nothing but air in their heads. She snickered in disdain and muttered, "Disgusting. Absolutely insulting to human-kind." Not expecting an answer, she heard a gloomy voice add to her spoken thought.

"I know. Wanna go somewhere and talk about it?" It was the goth boy who was refilling their cups. Raven looked up at him, and then back down to Kid Flash. Most certainly, Goth Boy (she had never remembered his name even though she had been on a few dates with him) seemed to be better company that Wally right now, but as annoying as the fastest boy alive could be, abandoning him like Jinx did would only make him feel worse. Like it or not, he was a teammate and, grudgingly, a friend, she supposed.

"Sorry, maybe another time," she drawled out. She waved her hand apathetically, shooing him away like a gnat. Raven took a sip from her fresh cup and savored its slightly sweet flavor.

"I wish I hadn't flirted with Argent and the other girls. Maybe Jinx wouldn't have been so angry with me. But now that I think about it, I wish I had never asked her out. I had only really liked her as a friend. I.. I wish I could just go back and change it all."

It was a sudden confession burst but as quickly as it came, it died, and soon Wally was silent again.

Raven closed her eyes in thought. She combed through her mind for the right words to say.

"Time spent wishing is time wasted," she said softly while still holding her cup to her lips.

Wally's brow furrowed as he sat contemplating her words. 'Time spent wishing IS time wasted. I shouldn't be sitting here moping to myself or dumping it on this pretty girl! What's done is done, and it can't be changed.' The playful glint in his eye returned and Raven, who was watching him take in her words, caught this. His mega-watt grin had also been revived and before she had realized it he had stolen HER half-eaten orange-cranberry scone and inhaled it in record time!

Raven quirked an eyebrow at Wally's ungentlemanly gesture. He wiped the crumbs off his face and his smile never left his features. Even before he was finished swallowing, he began chattering to (rather than with, since she was still silent with annoyance after he ate her delicious scone) her with an unharmed ego.

"So," she managed to catch now that he directly spoke to her and indirectly called for her attention, "Where did you learn that phrase? Was it from one of those noble monks who protected you in your home-dimension?"

"No," she murmured.

"Was it from one of your magic books you keep stashed away in a chest?" he prodded.

Raven flinched inwardly at the thought of books stashed away in a chest. She frowned. "No." she verified.

"Well?" Kid Flash tilted his head to the side, setting down his now empty cup. A little bit of café latte dribbled down his chin before he could wipe it away with his glove.

"I learned it from a psychotic stalker-like janitor."

It was Wally's turn to raise an eyebrow. Being the brilliant man that he was, he inquired, "What?"

"From the TV show Scrubs."

"OH!" the speedster yelled. "Hmm, I like that show. Say, who's your favorite character?"

"I like Cox," Raven slapped a hand over her mouth as soon as she realized the double entendre she had created. 'I should have said Jordan,' she thought. A sly gin spread across Kid Flash's face. 'Yep. He's back to normal.'

Come to think of it, he never mentioned he regretted flirting with HER.


Har har, how LAME! To me, Kid Flash would be a tamer version of The Todd from Scrubs: kind of like Turk, I suppose.

Also the "I didn't know that…" part is the phrase Raven picked up from the Janitor. It's a saying I stick to and it helps me stop feeling sorry for myself whenever I hit a depression. I also changed the title just because I've grown out of my Italian Phase.