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Disclaimer: Not even close.

A/N: There will be more, I promise.

This chapter is for my dear sissy Jessi because she is leaving soon and I will miss her. Even though I always miss her, but she knows what I mean. I love you JayRay and I am very, very proud of you! Hugs, grapes, and S.O.D.A.! (also grape soda spat across the cafeteria table and onto your white shirt.) Love, RayJay


The drive to her apartment was silent. She stared out the window the whole way, watching the rain make trails on the glass. Mulder glanced over at her occasionally, made a few attempts to start a conversation, but he kept changing his mind. He wasn't sure how this was going to go. Either he would get her home and she would clam up, or he would get her home and she would clam up and send him away. Whatever happened, she always clammed up and they never spoke about the ordeal again. Maybe it was time to break that certain habit in their relationship. Just how they were going to do that, he wasn't sure.

He unlocked her door for her and she walked inside with a sigh.

"Scully you need some rest."

"I know. I'm going to go lay down. Can you... can you call Christine?"

"Sure," he nodded, keeping his eyes on her. Christine was her friend from med-school, and they often called her to tend to their injuries when they didn't feel like going to the hospital. "What do you need her to bring?"

"Just tell her I might need stitches-"

"Stitches? Scully, you should have gone to the doctor."

"No, it's okay. I don't really need stitches, I just think the wounds will heal better if they're stitched rather than butterflied."

"Did you at least let the EMT's put gauze or something on it?"

"Of course I did. Would you please just call Christine?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I got after you."

"It's alright. You're worried."

"Go lay down, Scully. I'll call Christine."

"Thank you."

He made the call quickly, the joined her in the bedroom. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, and he could tell from her posture that she was in pain.

"Scully?"

"Um... it really hurts," she admitted.

He ran his fingers through her hair and helped her to lay down against her pillows.

"Christine will be here in 20 minutes. Are you going to be okay?"

"I think so."

He sat down next to her with a sigh.

"Scully?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because. I just don't."

"You never want to talk to me about this stuff."

"Mulder, that's because you always start to feel guilty. You always turn it into a pity party about how it wouldn't have happened to me if I wasn't your partner. You beat yourself up and start talking about how everything bad that has ever happened to me is your fault and not only do you not deserve it, it makes me remember all that bad stuff. I don't like talking to you about this because frankly, you can't handle it. I have other ways that I deal with stuff and I don't need you."

"I see," he said after a long moment, standing up from the bed and leaving the room. "I'll let Christine in and I'll be out of here."

"Mulder, knock it off! I didn't mean that the way it sounded and you know it."

"Then how did you mean it, Scully?"

"I need you here. I need you with me. But I can't talk to you when you start playing the martyr. I hate watching you beat yourself up. It only makes me feel worse. If you would help me get through things or just simply listen to me, I would talk to you. But as it is now and as it's been in the past, I can't do it. I want to. Believe me, I want nothing more than to talk to you and tell you everything I think and feel about this. I just... I can't now."

He sighed and sat down next to her again.

"What if I promise to just listen?"

"If you can really do that, Mulder, then we can talk."

He smiled and squeezed her hand.

"I'll work on it."

There was a knock on the door and he stood up.

"I'll let her in. And I'll be out on the couch if you need me. Okay?"

"Okay."