Two hours later, Kate found herself standing at the reception desk of St. Sebastian's hospital in downtown Los Angeles with Ava on resting against her. 'Just do it, Kate,' she thought to herself. 'Get it over with. Just tell him.'
"Can I help you, dear?" the receptionist asked, focusing her attention on Kate and Ava.
"Yes," Kate said stepping forward. "I'm her to see Dr. Shephard. Jack Shephard."
"Do you have an appointment?"
"No, I'm- I'm a friend. It's important," Kate said wondering how she should put it.
"Can I have your name?" Kate told her, and the receptionist continued. "Go to ICU- it's on the second floor- and wait in the reception area. I'll make sure he knows you're here," the lady said smiling at Ava. Kate whispered her thanks and made her way to the ICU.
"I'm here to see-" Kate began once she was at the ICU reception area, but the nurse interrupted her. "Jack Shephard?" Kate nodded weakly. "He's in the middle of something right now, but he'll be out here shortly."
"Mamma, look!" Ava shrieked pointing to a large fish tank jutting out from the wall next to them.
"Yeah, babe, I see the fish," Kate said to Ava, then turned her attention back to the receptionist. "Thank you for your help," she said before walking over to the fish tank and looking through the other side at her daughter who giggled. They continued playing behind the fish tank, looking through the aquarium at the people passing through the corridor for the next 15 minutes until Kate saw him. He was jogging down the hall in his blue scrubs and white doctors' coat towards a group of nurses wheeling a stretcher down the corridor at full speed. Kate's heart sped up and she suddenly wished she hadn't come at all. Once he had secured the injured person on the stretcher, he rushed back to the reception desk. Kate crouched next to Ava, who was oblivious to her mother's obvious discomfort, looking through the fish tank at the man she once knew to be so strong. 'He looks broken,' Kate thought to herself. 'I bet he gets less than 4 hours of sleep a night.' She froze as the receptionist pointed towards her and Ava. He looked over and she stood up slowly with Ava in her arms.
"Kate?" he said hoarsely, hardly able to believe his eyes.
"Hi, Jack," she said quietly, watching his gaze travel to the tiny person in her arms.
"Fend?" Ava asked pointing to Jack. Kate nodded, whispered something in her ear, and Ava lay her head down on her mother's shoulder. When Jack just stared at her, she cleared her throat. "Is there somewhere we can go, somewhere where we can talk?" she asked , her voice still trembling but louder than the first time she had spoken.
"Uh, yeah… yeah, just, uh… just follow me we can, uh, go to my office," Jack said, his eyes never leaving Ava who had fallen asleep on Kate's shoulder, tired from their long day of flying. Kate nodded and followed Jack through a maze of hallways and corridors until they arrived at a door labeled "Dr. Jack Shephard, MD." Kate smiled beside herself at how professional it sounded. Jack let her in, closed the door behind them, then turned to face her.
"Why-" he started, then cleared his throat. "What are you-" But Kate interrupted him.
Jack, I came here to tell you… I… there's no easy way to say it, but here we go," she said and looked up into Jack's eyes. "When I left, Jack," she noticed him clench his jaw at the memory. "When I left, I was pregnant."
Jack looked down at Ava on her shoulder. "Her name is Ava," Kate said. "With an "A." I don't know why I spelled it with an "A" in the hospital, but …" Kate trailed off, realizing that she was babbling. "Look, Jack, I didn't… I don't expect you to… I understand if you don't want anything to do with us, or me. I didn't come here to ask any help, because I can do it on my own. I've been doing it on my own. I don't want any money, I just came here to tell you, because I thought that you have the right to know, even though I know it's too late…" Kate finished shakily.
Jack was silent for a minute, just staring at his daughter. 'Oh, god, he doesn't want anything to do with me,' Kate thought. "Jack?" she asked tentatively. "Please say something, Jack."
He tore his eyes away from the sleeping angel in her arms and looked into her eyes. "Why did you run?" he finally asked in a voice so vulnerable Kate's heart broke for him.
"I didn't want to hurt you… or get hurt. It all happened so fast, I just… I was scared- terrified. I've never been good at letting people in, and I knew if we had the baby, I'd have to let you in. I left because I was going to get rid of it, but when I got to the clinic, I just- I-" Tears were running down her cheeks as she held Ava closer to her chest. "I couldn't do it, so I ran," she finished in a whisper. Before Jack could respond, Ava woke up and looked around in confusion.
"Where's Pooh-bear, Mamma?" she asked drowsily.
Kate chuckled through her tears. "We're not here to see Pooh bear, babe. Remember?" Ava shook her head, and upon noticing Jack, hid her face in her mother's curls. Kate laughed again. "Can you say 'hi' Ava?" she asked the little girl. Ava shook her head, and Kate whispered something in her ear, and her head shot up. She turned around in Kate's arms and smiled at Jack.
"Hi," she said shyly.
Jack smiled, staring at this miniature Kate smiling at him. She had Kate's eyes, hair, freckles and smile, but he could already see she had his mouth, and as Kate pointed out, his personality. Kate's voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Jack? You wanna hold her?" Kate was asking. Jack looked a bit apprehensive at first, but seeing Ava's smile, he nodded weakly and Ava reached out her arms to him. Once she was in his arms, she curled up against his chest and closed her eyes.
