Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods.
Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing
The plan was all set. Hours before the time of the meeting, Jake scooped her up in his arms bridal style and carried her up above the cloud cover. She had never been this high in the mountains before.
He carried her effortlessly and easily. There was no chat. Neither was in the mood. She had tried to argue with him about this plan the night before, but he would not hear any objections. He wanted her out of the way and that was the end of it.
She tried to argue that she would be safer in the middle of the wolf pack, but Jake pointed out that she had never been around when they fought vampires and she just didn't know how fast and violent it could be. He pointed out that she had missed them taking down Laurent.
That just reminded her that she seemed to constantly endanger her friends and that made her feel worse. She didn't try arguing again. She started to feel like her death would solve everyone's problems.
They had finally reached the agreed hiding place. Quil had set up the tent so that it backed onto a cliff. It gave it shelter and extra defence she supposed. Jake looked pleased at that.
He and Quil nodded at each other.
Quil looked unhappy. "There is a storm coming," he grunted at Jake.
"There sure is," agreed Jake.
Bella suspected that Quil was actually talking about the weather not the battle; sorry 'meeting' and that Jake had misunderstood him. Regardless he didn't try again.
Jake dropped Bella to her feet. He kept his hands on her. "You'll be okay," he comforted her. "You'll be safe here."
"But you won't," she said.
He rolled his eyes.
"I'm not the one in danger," she tried to argue with him. "The whole pack are risking…" she stopped talking when she caught sight of Jake's look. It was the 'Bella you are being an idiot' look. "Sorry," she apologised. "I am just worried about everyone…" Her voice trailed off.
He pulled her into one of his bone crushing hugs. It did make her feel better. His hands reached up to her face and he pulled her towards him. She stood on tiptoe, pressed up against his warm body, with her arms around his waist and he kissed her.
She had another vision.
She is standing on the grass. It must be the yard of a house. Most houses in Forks or the reservation back onto the forest, so she can't tell which it is. It is the same as before. Jake comes out of the forest; his whole face lighting up as he sees her. But now she has one hand resting on her stomach, as the other lifts in a wave. Her stomach is swelling with another child. His child? The kiss went on and so did the vision. Now she can hear the excited squeals of the little boy and girl. "Momma," they cry excitedly. "Daddy," they add as they run towards her. Now she feels warmth at her back. A giant russet hand presses on her stomach; over hers.
He is behind her. Her dream man is standing behind her. And it is not Jake. She tries to turn to see him and she literally turned.
She broke the kiss with Jake and the dream faded.
She almost swore. But one mystery has been solved; Jake is part of her future but he is not her dream man.
Jake looked pleased again after their passionate kiss. He kissed her forehead gently. "I'll be back," he whispered. "Stay safe. It'll be fine." He nodded at Quil, turned and jogged away. He looked fierce and determined.
Bella looked devastated. Her dream had been altered dramatically.
She almost called out to Jake to stay with her.
Quil looked at her perceptively. "He wouldn't stay if you asked him to."
"I know," she agreed and she did know that. He was a fighter; he was angry with these vampires and nothing and nobody was going to make him miss this battle.
"Would you take me to the 'meeting' Quil?"
"Oh no," he backpedalled. "No way. I would lose my hide."
She sighed. She looked around the campsite. It all looked good. She didn't go camping often, but it looked like Quil knew what he was doing. "Thanks Quil," she said. "It all looks good."
He didn't look much happier.
Quil was missing the battle and he did not look happy about it.
"I'm sorry you have to stay and babysit me," she apologised.
"Yeah that sucks," he agreed. "But it is not you… it is this stupid tent plan." He glared at the tent as if it was its fault. "This is a stupid idea," he huffed. "Stupid, stupid, stupid…"
She was shocked. "Why?"
He waved at the tent. "It's a tent," he said in a 'duh' kind of voice. "No solid walls… they could just tear it and rip you out of it… they're vampires… they could tear a hole in a freaking wall if they wanted to… this is like paper to them… it's no kind of defence at all… and I can't guard all the sides… I am only one wolf you know…" He suddenly caught sight of her face and realised he might be freaking her out more. He shut his mouth with a snap.
"It'll be fine," he repeated in an echo of Jake. But she knew he didn't believe that.
"You didn't say any of this at the meeting," Bella pointed out. He wasn't listening at all at the meeting, she recalled.
"No," he agreed. "I didn't say anything."
He held open the tent flap for her. She went inside. There was some food, water and unexpectedly, a battered copy of Pride and Prejudice. It was hers from the Black house.
She raised her eyebrows at him.
"Your favourite book," he said.
"Yes." She thought he was sweet to fetch that for her.
They settled in. Neither felt like talking. She assumed Quil was still sulking about missing the battle.
"I have to phase now," he said
She just nodded.
He left the tent and zipped her inside.
Time passed. She read for a while. The storm Quil had predicted finally arrived. The temperature plummeted. It was June and summer, but at this altitude a storm could blow in from anywhere. The tent was against the cliff but it was still exposed. Bella took off her boots and climbed inside the sleeping bag. She listened to the wind howl and push at the tent. It made her jump a little every time.
The there was a wet slap against the material; it had started to snow.
She huddled down in the sleeping bag; curled up as well as she could manage. She was so cold. And so frightened.
Maybe it was just the final straw. The last few weeks have been a living nightmare for her. It was probably a shock reaction; the last few weeks… God, the last few months… have been the most emotionally exhausting of her short life. Her final exams were stressful enough, without adding in taking her relationship to the next level and being hunted by vampires.
It was too much. She was tired… and cold… and worn out… and she felt like crying. And now she was here for her own protection… but people she knew were risking their lives for her. People she loved. Even if she didn't love them like that.
Images of the pack flitted through her mind. Seth, the adorable puppy was out there… risking his life for her. And Sam and Paul and Jared and… All their faces flashed across her memory.
She had read the newspapers as they counted the bodies in Seattle. The dead and the missing. Every soul weighed more heavily on hers. They had died because of her. She hadn't killed them herself, but she may as well have.
They had died to make up the numbers for Victoria's squad. Or to feed it.
She had fallen in love with a vampire and this whole thing had started with that simple act.
And then he had abandoned her. She got his logic. She understood. It would have been nice if he had bothered to explain it to her properly, before he made a decision for them both and just left. It took her a while to understand that he had just lied to her. He thought her weak humanity would allow her to forget him. He still loved her; he had just pretended not to because that was the only thing that would make her let him go. Even then, it was lucky he could move so fast because she had tried to follow him within minutes.
She wondered if Edward knew about Victoria. He must. Alice can see the future. Was she so unimportant to the Cullens now that Alice didn't bother to check in on her future anymore? So much for her so called best friend. She wondered if Alice had been in touch with the tribe and if they had kept her out of it; for her own good, no doubt. Probably not. They were mortal enemies and all.
Edward could read minds. He of all people should have known how Victoria felt about James. He should have seen what Victoria was capable of thinking and planning.
She wondered how she would deal with it if Edward came back to protect her too. He hadn't. He was not here. She was in a tent on a cliff face with a lone wolf; Quil Ateara.
Did she still love Edward? Yes. But she had no 'closure'; she hated that word. But it served here.
He had left her. He had told her that his world was not for her; that he didn't want her and that she was not good for him. In her months of catatonia she had realised something. He had always done things to 'protect' her without discussing it with her. She strongly suspected that his and his family's departure was another such thing. He was still making decisions for her. And that one was so unfair. To tell her all those lies; to make her think it was her fault. That she was worthless to him.
She had spent four months thinking over that scene. Now she understood how well he had engineered it; but then he had always arranged everything perfectly hadn't he?
Perhaps if he had told her that he adored her and would do anything for her; even leave her. That she could have understood. Then she would not have been so broken. She would have known that somewhere out there was a blindingly perfect man who loved her enough to leave her. That knowledge would have made her glow.
FF_2154210_ - 1/05/2011 11:14:00 PM
