*Phil POV*
I'm on another one of my internet searches. Typing one name into google frantically, trying to find one single person. I knew him for one day, four years ago, and he was a complete douche, but for some reason his memory just resided in my head for the duration of the time from that day until now. Many a day I have spent, putting his name into google, Facebook, twitter, trying to find him. But no such luck. I scroll down and down until I see something. A twitter account.
"Dan Howell - Danisnotonfire"
This could be it.
I click it...
It's him.
It's Dan.
Brown hair, longer on one side. Chocolatey eyes.
Thin, pink lips curved into a half smile. He hasn't changed in four years. I've found him. I've found him. Finally.
I smile slowly to myself.
Finally.
I click on his profile one more time to bring up his statistics. Eleven thousand followers! There's no way he'll see my tweet if I tweet him. His bio has a link to a YouTube channel. I click that too and it brings up another tab with a YouTube channel. There are 15 videos, all with Dan face on the thumbnail. A box indicates that he has twenty thousand subscribers!
I click one and his face pops up, obviously filmed on a webcam in a brown bedroom.
"Hi! My name is Dan, nice to meet you, and this is my first proper video I guess" he says in his not-quite-posh-but-posher-than-most accent. I feel myself smiling as he talks about wanting to start a YouTube channel but something is picking at me. He still doesn't seem happy. He seems like the shy, sad boy I met that day in year eleven. That makes me sad. I watch three or four more until a name of one catches my eye.
"My suckish life" I click it, and suddenly he goes from 'still not happy but happy enough to hide it' to 'I'm very depressed' and that alone is enough to make me sad. Then he starts talking.
"Well, hi. Okay, so it's no secret to you guys that I am gay. However, I want to go into that in a bit more depth today. Okay, so as you know, I left school four years ago, but something I haven't told you is that I haven't lived where I live now my whole life. Until I was sixteen, I lived in Wokingham. You see, when I was ten, my mum and dad split up. My dad took my sister and moved here, and my mum stayed in Wokingham. At this point in time, my mum was a genuine, lovely, sweet person, and I wanted to live with her. But then she got a new boyfriend when I was twelve, and that's when it all changed. She became aggressive, she started to drink, she fought with him, yet for some reason, they still married when I was thirteen. And then she started hitting me, abusing me both verbally and physically, and spent most of her free time drinking. Not only that, but when I was eleven all of my friends kind of drifted away, nobody wanted to talk to me. I became depressed, and began to self harm. And even though I don't regret that, because it made me into the person I am today, I do regret one thing. So, one day, in year eleven, a boy came into our class" my ears prick up.
"Immediately, I wanted to talk to him. He was very good looking, with black hair, a long fringe similar to mine and his eyes were the bluest I've ever seen, and he was genuinely lovely. I wanted nothing more than to befriend him, but I didn't. Instead, I pushed him away, telling him he's better off without talking to me, being friends with other people, and that's what I regret. But I couldn't put it right, because the same night that happened, my mum kicked me out. That's why I now live here" he looks like he's on the edge of tears, and honestly, I am too.
"So Phil Lester, it's not likely that you'll see this, but if you do, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for pushing you away, and I wish I could go back and undo that day. I'm sorry" then the screen goes dark. I don't make an effort to move though. Instead, I stare at the screen, blinking back tears. I remember that day so well, but I didn't think he would. I have to
somehow get in contact with him. I will tweet him, he may not see it but I need to at least try. I click off the tab for YouTube and go back onto twitter. He tweeted two minutes ago
"Hope you all liked my new video! :)" I tap a quick tweet
"Dan, you probably won't see this, but I saw your video. It's me, it's Phil! I hope you do see this, I would love to talk to you"
And then I wait
and wait
And wait
Nothing. No reply. My tweet was lost in an ocean of fangirls. Eventually I give up waiting and go into the kitchen. And surprise surprise, there's no food. Time to pop to Tesco. I sigh and shrug my coat on. I just wish he would have seen my tweet. I open the door and go down into the lift. The brisk, Manchester air caresses my face. I moved out of Wokingham to go to university here, back home. This is where I belong.
The walk to Tesco is a boring, uneventful one, but luckily I won't have far to go. I go in and grab a basket, and put the basics in it. Bread, milk, butter, ham, crisps and chocolate. I stick it all on the conveyer belt and pay, and just as I leave the shop, I hear a deep voice behind me.
"Phil? Phil Lester?" I turn around so suddenly that the milk flies straight out and explodes on the floor I'm front of me.
"Shit" I curse before looking up and seeing the face that belongs to the face. Immediately, I gasp.
"Dan? Oh my God! What are you-" but I can't finish. He leans down and picks up the empty milk bottle from the floor.
"Sorry about that. I'll get you a new one"
"Don't worry. It's just such a shock to see you! What's it been, four years?" He nods
"And being that I only knew you for one day, you really haven't changed!"
"Neither have you" I mumble quietly, too shy to say much else.
"Oh my God, I just can't believe you're here! This is awesome!"
"I know" he shakes his head at me
"In year eleven, you had no problem chatting away, what happened?"
"Yeah, and in year eleven, you had no problem pushing me away like a complete douche, and now you come out with this apology? What happened?" I yell at him.
"I didn't apolo-" he gasps, and I clap my hand over my mouth.
"You- uh- how did you- you know- find it"
"I don't know," I lie, "I just came across it" he looks down at his feet.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. I just- honestly, I was trying to f-" he interrupts me.
"Sorry, this is my ride. Can we give you a lift anywhere?" I shake my head politely.
"Oh come on, I insist!"
"Well, I only live round the corner-"
"So do we, so it won't be an issue. Come on" I nod, and follow him to a blue Nissan that's just pulled up on the corner. He puts his four bags in the boot, and grabs mine to do the same.
"Don't forget which ones are yours!" I smile at him, and nod. Then, I open the back door and slide in.
"Peej, this is Phil. I said we could give him a lift. Hope that's alright!" The curly haired boy in the drivers seat nods.
"If course! Hi Phil, I'm PJ! I'm Dan's boyfriend"
"Nice to meet you, PJ" i say politely as he pulls away. I can't help but be slightly disappointed that he has a boyfriend, but there's not much I can do about that.
I sit awkwardly in the back, as they converse, until we reach my block of flats, which happens to be just up the road from PJ's house.
"Thanks for driving me"
"Hold on, Phil, I'll help you with your bags" he gets out the front seat, and I get out the back. The boot opens and he hands me a couple of bags.
"I think these are yours. But I'll give you my number, give me a ring if you find out one of them isn't" he takes out a pen and piece of paper, and scribbles a number on a piece of paper. He hands it to me and I smile at him.
"Thanks, Dan. I'll see you around" I wave and open the main door to my block of flats. I watch the car drive away, and I sigh. I can't believe it. Dan. Frigging. Howell. I just met him and got his number. I never thought this would happen in a million years.
I open my flat, and place the bags on the side, checking through them until I realise that one of them is Dans. I smile at the thought of being able to see him again, and punch his number in to my phone, and press call. He answers almost straight away.
"Hello?" He says quietly.
"Dan? It's Phil, I've got one of your bags!"
"Oh- sorry! I'll come and-"
"Dan! who are you talking to?" I hear PJ's voice yell through the phone
"It's- it's nobody"
"Yeah sure it is. One of your other boyfriends?"
"No! It's-" and then I hear it. An ear shattering slap an a cry of pain from Dan, before the line goes dead.
Holy crap I updated! Sorry- I was having terrible writers block from this story! But I'm back and carrying on! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, don't forget to review and follow and favourite and share with your friends and stuff! yeah. Thanks! :D
love always
~Georgie'xo~
