Disclaimer: This fanfiction was not created with ill-willed intention towards anyone. This story was created for the sake of practicing my ability to critique. With that said, I kindly request for fans of the show to not take my criticism harsly and to respect my opinion on the matter. Any reviews that are among the lines of 'Screw you!' will be deleted, however constructive disagreement is welcomed.
Hey everybody! I'm baaaaaack! Today, I will be covering the racism and the White Fang. I originally wanted to do these two separately, but I decided to take them both in the same chapter. Reason: The problems intersect way too well. Anyway, have fun!
A bunch of people with animal body parts were gathered outside of a building with the words 'Schnee Dust Company' on it. They were holding signs with the words 'We are not animals!' or 'We are not pets!" on them. One of them with a bull horn shouted out, "Let our faunus brothers go, you human monsters!"
In the pit, there were Faunus and Humans picking the cave with pick axes. One of the humans turned to a rhino faunus, "They don't care us, do they?"
The rhino faunus just shook his head, "Nope, they just want us out. Serves you humans right for always tormenting us."
The human just looked at him with a blank stare and they both got back into their work.
-Train Station-
A few faunus dress in white and mask were attaching detonators onto a train. A train which housed dozens of faunus and humans. One with deer antlers spoke, "We ready to kill those filthy humans?"
One with scales nodded, "Yeah. They'll pay for causing us faunus so much pain."
-New Vale Huntsmen School-
In a hallway, a female faunus with brown rabbit ears, clothes, eyes, and hair was walking around and a guy with brown hair, blue eyes, and grey armor strolled around with a human guy hanging from his underwear in his hand, "Hey Velvet!"
Velvet looked away from him, "Not now Cardin."
Cardin let go of the human and yanked on Velvet's rabbit ear. Velvet started to yelp in pain and a passerby with a rocket launcher watched, "It must be hard to be a faunus."
-White Fang HQ-
A young man with a black jacket and pants, red hair, white mask, and a sword was sitting on a throne. Two faunus with bear like characteristics came into the room and bowed, "Adam, we have reported the location of a human head quarters."
The other bear fanus spoke up, "However, there are a plethora of innocent faunus there."
Adam stood up, "I don't care! We'll destroy anyone who stands in our way, innocent or otherwise."
Both of the bear faunus rose, "Understood, high leader."
Adam started to smile pychocatically and laugh. The bear faunus both looked at each other and left. All the faunus in the room observed Adam, but decided not to question his behavior.
And that's that! Down to business!
Overview: The show is too comfortable with tell don't show and many of the behaviors in the show can happen regardless of race. Constantly wondering how the White Fang have lasted this long.
I have a few problems with the White Fang sub plot. The first problem breaks one of the most essential rules of visual storytelling, Show Don't Tell. And RWBY is the absolute worst example of this in any form of fantasy. From Rooster Teeth, I never would have thought this would be bumbled up so badly.
Show don't tell is an essential rule in visual storytelling, because it gathers the viewers interest. It better immerses them into the story and can make what your doing all the better.
So, what effect do you think you'll have when you just say these people are oppressed?... That's right kids. The exact friggin opposite!
We should see faunus children being denied educations and services at stores. We should say human groups hunting down faunus for sport. We should see human police and huntsmen looking the other way when a faunus is in danger. Yeah, this kind of stuff is hard to write and watch, but that is the point of tackling the subject matter.
And when we get to White Fang rallies, the amount of faunus in attendance seem to have just come out of nowhere. If there really were this many faunus who believed in the WF's message, we should have seen more. If the WF were just making a big stink out of nothing and there was no prejudice, which is what the narrative is showing me, no way would so many faunus be in attendance.
The other problem with the racism is that things that happen to the faunus can affect humans too.
The only bits of hostility towards a faunus from a human is from Cardin, but he's a piece of crap to everyone. If you wanted to make it work, you would have Cardin being nice to humans and crap to faunus.
The forced labor is subject that affects people regardless of their race. The only reason that they used the forced labor for a racism point is because it used to happen years ago. Nowadays, most cases of forced labor are towards those of the same race. Race does affect this sometimes, but it can happen regardless of race.
The other problem. They're not really effective as antagonist. As antagonist, they were alright during the earlier seasons. But, they eventually became as effective as a slug on a race track. They all seem completely devoted to the main view point and absolutely none of them question it.
I have to be blunt about this. I think the only reason anyone gives a crap about Adam Taurus is his design. Seriously, he has the perfect design for an antagonist. In a way that makes me feel bad for the character artist. But take away the design and he is pretty much every racism villain in history. There are a variety of views that make him look very intimidating, but there is one thing that stops him from being scary. His voice. I am not kidding. He sounds like he is having a cold 24/7 and that really does ruin the only thing he would have going for him. He's also pretty redundant. He cuts off Yang's arm, but literally anyone else could have done that. He has a relationship with Blake, but Ilia could have filled that void. He kills Kahn, but that was just wasting a perfectly good character that could have been a big deal. And I am constantly questioning why the other White Fang members don't think having him in charge could be a problem. Sure he's formidable on the battlefield, but combat prowess and political prowess are two different things. He doesn't appear to have the effectiveness of a political leader. Then, come Vol. 5 and he gets curb stomped by Blake. Turning him into a joke. You could make the argument that given the situation he didn't keep his cool, but it comes out of nowhere and does nothing but harm to his character.
Then there's the fox brothers. These two are the picture of wasting perfectly good antagonist. They show up once during Vol. 4 and die during Vol. 5. They could have been the main bad guys, if you really couldn't have Kahn, of the White Fang plot. They could have been pulling Adam around and make them the leaders. But NOPE! Instead introduce these two villains who don't matter, have them be hyped up to be a big deal, and then kill them both off without any real impact on the plot. These two could have been written out entirely and nothing would have changed.
I've already talked about my problems with Ilia, so I won't go into much detail here. But she is another example of wasting what could have been a good idea. You could have written an internal conflict within the White Fang themselves. Have them still be antagonist and a threat to humankind, but have some of them acknowledge that Adam's ideals are going too far.
Even ignoring all of that, this plot could have been more. Take out the humans entirely. Have Remnant only be populated by faunus and have the racism occur between different kinds of faunus. Faunus never getting at each other's throats is another waste of a perfectly good idea.
Ideas for faunus without humans: Have a rebellion story where prey faunus rebel against predator faunus with a deep look of the extremes needed to defeat an army more than your own or have a class system where faunus status is determined by their species.
Looking back, I can see so many more possibilities for this concept if the humans didn't exist in a faunus world. Sometimes, the best possibilities aren't the first ones to come to your head.
Look! If you want the abridged version. The White Fang and faunus are just a waste. A waste of time, a waste of potential, a waste of character, and a waste of world building. Write them out all together and guess what, it would have had enough time to show us the world of Remnant, the agricultural differences of Remnant from Earth, and the types of missions that huntsmen take.
Well. That's that! Next time will be on the world building, so less getting angry for me there.
I hope you enjoyed this and I hope you enjoy future works. As always, feedback is welcomed!
