SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER : Invisible by Skylar Grey


Helga spent some of the day wandering up, and down the streets. She approached mutiple people on the streets screaming in their ears trying to get anyone to hear her. She attempted to push a few people only for her hands to pass through them.

She went through a few stages of grief the first being confusions, and denial. She repeated the same mantra in her head I'm alive over, and over trying to get someone to notice her. When nothing changed, and nobdoy noticed stage two set in.

Stage two was panic, she tried to talk to Phoebe who kept walking without even a flinch. Helga screamed at the top of her lungs dropping to her knees in the middle of the sidewalk. She hugged her middle leaning forward letting her forehead rest against the pavement. She kept screaming rocking herself, and feeling the panic grip her until she couldn't breathe. She shoved her hair back roughly and sobbed, until there was nothing left and she felt numb.

Stage three was acceptance. When she was cried and screamed out she pushed unsteadily to her feet, and looked around at all the people going on about their day. They didn't see the girl in the middle of the street whos world was ending.

She began to walk in no particular direction her mind blank, and her spirit restless. She moved down her old block, and saw that her mothers car was home, but her dads BMW was missing. She stood outside her house looking up at it. She wondered if her parents knew what happened to her. She wondered in her mom made it home, and once again felt guilty for not being able to pick her up. She sighed and walked away heading north.

She stood outside the boarding house watching it. As her childhood this house had been more sacred than any church. The place where she found salvation, and felt closest to heaven. Now, she saw it was just a house and it couldn't save her. As she merged through her teenage years her love for Arnold began to flicker, and dim until one day it had been buried away somewhere with her books of poems, and collection of gum. Now, she wanted nothing more than to tread on the most hallowed of ground one more time.

The front door swung open, and she saw Grandpa bringing out the trash. She moved very much like the ghost she was across the street, and up the steps into the house. She put out a hand running it along the wallpaper feeling it under her fingertips. She felt alive again here, this was always the one place she felt alive. Time seemed so much slower, and less important here. She took it all in as if she was taking air into the body she no longer had.

She could smell Grandma baking a pie, hear Grandpa yelling at the garbage outside. She started up the stairs drawing comfort in the soft thud her shoes made on the carpeted steps. This was real, and for now she felt real too. She moved up the stairs into the attic, and stepped into the room that her childhood revolved around.

It hadn't changed much, it hadn't changed at all really except for the maps everywhere. Taped to the walls, and strewn across the desk were maps. She leaned closer to look not sure what she was looking at. A lot of the locations had big red X's on them, others had circles with question marks in the middle. She backed away from the desk to look up at the skylight. Home, she felt like she was home at last.

"What are you doing here?" A voice behind her asked, and she spun around.

"Arnold?" She asked.

"Yeah, what are you doing in here?" He asked tossing his black back pack on the floor.

"You can see me?" She asked.

"Of course I can see you." He said.

She watched him move into the room. He was wearing dark blue jeans that were slightly baggy with a wallet chain hanging from one pocket, and black boots. He had on a black t-shirt, with a black hoodie. His blonde hair was a little bit long falling hazardously across his forehead. He was still devestatingly cute, despite the scowl.

She stood there a minute before bursting into tears, and sinking to he knees. She sobbed.

"Come on don't cry." He said with a wince.

"I've been all over town, and nobdy could see me." She said trying to calm down.

"What?" He asked crossing his arms to study her.

"They couldn't see me, or hear me. I'm alive though." She said looking up at him.

"Look, Helga...enough of all this poetic mumbo jumbo. I'm busy...alright?" He moved passed her to the desk laying more maps down.

"What are you looking for?" She asked standing.

"None of your business. What are you doing here?" He asked looking at her.

"I'm dead..."She said softly.

"Okay, look I heard you had an accident outside of school today..."He said.

"Yeah, I got hit with a car!" She said a little louder than nessecary.

"Okay, well maybe it was a harder hit than you think." He said.

"I'm not crazy Arnold." She said.

"Really? because our history together leads me to believe otherwise." He said moving across the room.

"Call Pheobe! Ask her what happened." She said.

"I don't have time for this Helga. Did you need something?" He asked.

"Please...call Phoebe...please Arnold just call her." Helga begged.

She wanted to reach out and touch him. She wanted to shake him and make him listen to her, but she knew there was no point. She'd just pass right through him.

"Fine, but after I call you have to go." He said grabbing his phone off his desk.

"Okay, fine." She agreed.

She stood there while he leaned against his desk holding the phone to his ear. He wasn't built as big as one would have thought he should be. He was actually rather skinny, but he had passed her up in height, and she vaguely wondered when that happened.

"Phoebe?...it's Arnold I was calling about Helga...what?...calm down Phoebe...when? Where?...no...okay, okay, thanks Phoebe. bye."

He hung up, and just leaned there agains the desk for a minute. She stared openly at him praying that he had an answer.

"You're not dead." He said softly.

"What?" She asked.

"I said you're not dead. Not yet anyway. You're in a coma over at Mercy General." He said.

"A coma?...I'm not dead." She didn't feel anymore relieved.

"Yeah that's what I said. So, maybe you should be at the hospital...you know...with yourself." He suggested turning back to his maps.

"No, they can't see me over there. I'll...I'll be all alone." She said.

"Well, I'm busy." He said.

"Please Arnold you have to help me." She begged rushing to his side.

"Helga..."He started to protest.

"Please, you're the only person who can help me. I can't stay this way!" She said.

"Look, if you're not in your body...go to the light. like normal people." He said.

"There isn't a light." She said.

"There has to be, there's always a light." He said turning in his desk chair to look at her.

"Well there isn't one." She said growing frustrated.

"So, what do you want me to do about it?" He asked.

"Help me...please...you must have an idea." She said.

He looked at her, something in her eyes pulled at him. He sighed turning his chair back around to face his desk. He really had stuff to do, and he hadn't spoken more than a few words to Helga in years.

"Tomorrow, We'll go to the hospital. We'll figure something out." He said softly.

"Really?" She asked looking ready to cry again.

"Really. I'll help you just give me tonight. To do this." He said motioning at his desk.

"I COULD KISS YOU!" She squealed, and he winced.

"Well...don't."He said looking at the maps.

"I couldn't even if I wanted too." She said with a scowl.

"Look, just find something to do okay? Take a nap." He said waving around the room.

"Do I nap?" She asked.

"I don't know Helga. Do you?" He asked looking at her equally confused, and frustrated.

"I don't know..."She admitted feeling suddenly like a stranger even to herself.

"I still don't understand. Why me of all people?" He asked.

"I don't know, maybe because you were the last person I talked too." She said with a shrug.

"Where were you going?" He asked turning his chair to look at her.

She was sitting indian styler on his floor. Her hands in her lap, her hair falling in her face. She looked lost, and pathetic. He felt sorry for her in this moment.

"To get my mother. She was at the bar again, she's always at the bar. Bob is always working, and someone has to go get her." She said it with a shrug, but he sat the hurt in her eys.

"I'm sorry Helga." He said gently.

"The worst part is...I felt like a bad daughter...you know?" She wiped a tear away.

"Why?" He asked.

"She needed me, and I wasn't there...I was...laying in the middle of the street because I was too stupid to look both ways." She said.

"It's not your fault. That responsibility isn't yours." He said.

"Not anymore." She said, her lower lip trembled, and her eys filled with tears.

"We'll figure this out Helga." He said trying to sound reassuring.

"It doesn't matter. I was pretty much invisible before all this happened anyway." She said wiping her eyes.

"No you weren't." He said.

"It didn't matter what I did, how many awards I brought home. They didn't see me not then, not now, not ever." She said shaking her head.

"I see you, and I'm going to fix this." He said.

"What are you working on?" She asked nodding at his desk, and abruptly changing the subject.

"Nothing." He said.

"Come on let me see." She said hopping to her feet.

"I'm trying to track where my parents would be...after graduation I'm going after them."He admitted.

"Let me see." She moved to stand beside him, and he slid the maps towards her.

"hmm...no, see that doesn't work. This area here are all mountains, unless they were rock climbers they wouldn't go that way when they can cut around, follow this river, and get there a day earlier...at least." She said pointing to a river on the map.

"That's incredible. You can read this? How do you know all this?" He asked.

"Olga went through an extreme nature phase. Tried to hiking, climbing rocks all that jazz." Helga said rolling her eyes.

"I never gave the rocks a thought you might have just saved me at least a few days time." He said staring at the map.

"It's not a big deal, so don't make it in to one." She said moving to sit on his bed.

"Why can't you just take a compliment?" He asked turning his chair to look at her.

"Because I'm not used to getting them." She said.

"I've got a couple of hours work ahead of me here. Why don't you go find something to do?" He asked turning back to his desk.

"I can help." She offered.

He sighed, and she thought maybe wasn't going to accept her offer. Then he moved wiping a considerable stack of papers off a nearby chair he pulled it up beside his.

"Come on then." He said, and she rushed to join him.


A few hours later after Arnold had returned from dinner, and a shower Helga was still sitting at the desk pouring over the maps. She might be on borrowed time, but she could do one more thing for him. He tossed his towel onto a pile of clothes.

"Come on let it go tonight. Let's get some rest." He said shutting off the light.

"No, I can work a little longer." She said.

"Helga...you're flickering."He said in a low tone bracing an arm on the desk.

"What?" She asked.

"You're fading, you're getting more transparent." He said.

"Oh." She sat there feeling panic grip her once again. She was fading, but she felt fine.

"Look, it might be nothing, but I want you to rest." He said.

"Ok." She said softly.

"I fixed the couch for you." He said turning away, and she scowled.

"Why do I have to sleep on the couch?" She asked folding her arms over her chest.

"Because my legs are longer than yours. I won't fit on the couch." He said.

"When my cousins stay over night I'm a polite host, and I give them my bed." She pointed out.

"Good, then you have lots of experience sleeping on couches." He said collapsing onto his bed.

"Come on football head! I'm a girl be a gentleman." She said.

"Don't even start with the name calling or I won't go to the hospital tomorrow." He said.

Twenty three minutes later Arnold tossed, and turned on the ridiculously tiny couch. He heard Helga sigh softly, and shook his head. This was ridiculous. The entire thing. Tomorrow he was taking her to that hospital figuring out what the hell was going on, and then he was getting out of there.


R&R